Chapter 10: Too Real To Deny

When they broke apart, Alex's face was flushed. "I never knew you felt that way," she whispered.

"I never thought this would ever happen," Casey added.

"Me either. So, now what?"

Casey shrugged, "I'm not sure. Are you?"

Alex laughed a little, "Not at all. I never expected this, especially after what's happened in the last couple months."

Her inner turmoil began to bubble up. The first thought on her mind was Olivia.

"I… Don't know if I can do this right now," Alex blurted out. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you. I liked the kiss, I just need time."

Casey just nodded and walked out of the office, crushed.

Alex ran her fingers through her hair, and sighed, unsure of what to do next. She had been hurt and hurt someone all in such a close time frame. What was even right anymore?

As Casey walked down the street, she debated what to do next. 'What was there to do?' she wondered.

In a few more minutes she end up at the 1-6 Precinct. She stopped and looked up at the building. 'I could go in,' Casey mused, 'but I don't want Olivia to know.'

However, in a moment of weakness, she entered and went up to the SVU squad room.

The reconstruction was going well, almost finished. Olivia wasn't at her desk, then she heard the sound of throwing up and instinctively went for the ladies room. Olivia had her head over a toilet upchucking everything in her system.

Casey kneeled by the brunette and rubbed her back in slow circles as the vomiting ceased. She noticed that Olivia's hair was starting to fall out in small patches.

"Thanks, Casey," Olivia whispered, wiping her mouth. "This chemo really is taking its toll."

"So I can see."

Olivia stood up and went to wash her mouth out in the sink with Listerine. Casey stood at the next sink and made sure she was okay. "After almost 2 months and I'm feeling this, I'm not ready to see what happens in 2 years," Olivia gripped.

"Me either," Casey replied.

"So, what brings you in here?"

"I was… In the area, and I was passing by so I'd thought I would drop in."

"Oh, well, it's good to see you, Counselor."

"It's good to see you too, Detective. Can you believe May 1st is next week?"

"Not at all, being back at work has made time fly by, which is what I need."

"That's good," Casey said, resting her hand on Olivia's lower arm. A tingle shot up Olivia's spine.

"Casey, what are you doing? What about Alex? I saw you in the window at that little Italian place awhile back."

Casey moved her hand. "I was just being nice, taking her out," she lied smoothly.

"So, holding her hand was…?"

"A comforting gesture, like this is," Casey replied, reaching out to cover Olivia's hand and squeezing it.

Olivia took a step back and looked down, then back at the ADA. No words came out, she just stood there for a moment, taking it all in.

"I've always had a flame for you Liv," Casey confessed.

"Wait… What?"

"At first, I knew you were still in shock that Alex was gone, so I didn't tell you then. After she'd been gone for awhile, I noticed that emptiness still at times. I didn't want to scare you. And I know what happened with you and her recently. Maybe it's still not the right time for 'us' but I just wanted to tell you."

Olivia just stared at the redhead that stood so close to her. "I'm not sure what to say," Olivia told her.

Casey took a step closer. "So don't say anything," she said huskily.

Olivia felt Casey's hands on her hips. She wanted to fight this, this couldn't be real. They both jumped when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Liv, are you okay?" Elliot yelled.

Olivia instinctively moved away from Casey, and opened the door. "Yeah, I'm okay. This throwing up thing is a killer, though."

Elliot saw Casey still standing against the sink and shot her a look, What are you doing here?

Her look back said, I heard her throwing up, I came to help.

Elliot shook his head, and walked away. Olivia let the door close and leaned against the cool tiled wall. "What now?" She said softly.

Casey walked over to her, and rested her palm against Olivia's cheek. Olivia felt that familiar tug in her stomach. It should be Alex standing here, not Casey.

Luckily, Casey sensed it, sighed and moved her hand. Olivia could feel that warm sensation though for an hour after.

By the time Olivia had moved from the bathroom, Casey was already gone. She walked back to her desk slowly, and plopped down. "What a day."

"You're telling me. Casey will hit on anything with long legs."

Olivia spun in her chair to face Elliot. "What are you talking about?"

"A couple weeks after you saw Alex and Casey, I saw them together again. I'm not sure if there's something go on but it seems like it."

"Casey said they're just friends…"

"Okay, maybe, but I'd be careful."

"El, I'm still hurting over Alex, I'm not Alex where I can pretend it never happened."

As if on cue, Alex walked in, heels clicking on the tiles. She stopped at the sight of Olivia, the look on her face.

Elliot walked over to the blonde. "Alex, are you with Casey? Yes or no."

Alex sighed. "It's nothing.

"She's hurt still, Alex, and finding out about you and Casey will just make it worse."

Hours passed, as DD5's were worked on. Alex reviewed a few cases pending trial and left. Munch and Fin passed Alex in the hallway leaving as they were coming back.

"Alex," Munch said formally.

She sighed. "Does everyone know?"

"Yeah, it gets around," Fin added. "Don't let this hurt her," he warned.

Alex just nodded and continued outside into the sunshine.

Olivia sat at her desk, staring at the place Alex had stood only moments ago. Elliot, Munch and Fin exchanged concerned looks. This was a lot to handle for Olivia. They all knew she still loved Alex. But did Alex love her back?

Casey end up back in her office, staring at the back of the closed door. Alex had turned her down and Olivia hadn't said anything. This was time for Plan B.

To: Alex Cabot

Message: Hey, if you're not too busy or to put off after what happened, would you want to grab a drink later?

From: Alex Cabot

Message: I can't tonight, sorry. I already have plans.

Casey sighed. "Okay, that's fine."

To: Olivia Benson

Message: Drinks tonight?

A moment later she got her response.From: Olivia Benson

Message: I can't drink with the chemo, but dinner?

'That's an improvement,' Casey said with a smile

To: Olivia Benson

Message: Sure, that Mexican Cantina on 13th?

From: Olivia Benson

Message: Meet you at your office at 6:15

Casey smiled in triumph.

The cantina had a good atmosphere, good food and tap beer. After ordering, Olivia and Casey made conversation. The events that had happened earlier seemed almost forgotten, or at least not discussed. An upside to the place, Olivia also realized, was that Alex would never step foot in here.

Dinner went smoothly, and they soon were back on the street, to a bakery Olivia loved, for dessert. Casey tried to act nonchalant but the closeness was killing her, she had to do something.

As she reached for Olivia's arm to loop hers through, a very familiar person was walking towards them, looking all sorts of incredulous.

"Busted."