Me: clears throat

Hidan: What? You fuckin want sumthin?

Me: Yea, I want you to do the disclaimer for this chapter.

Hidan: How about you go *beep* yourself, and then *beep* in the *beep* with a *beep* while you *beep* your *beep*. That's right, suck on that.

Me: …

Me: I'm gunna pretend that you just did the disclaimer that said that I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or any of the things in the Naruto Universe. If I don't, then I might go brain-dead from your foul instructions on how to use gardening tools.

Hidan: *evil smirk*

Me: *sigh* on with the story!

"Don't be so upset, k? I didn't think that sleeping in Kisame's room would make everyone so mad. I'm sorry. Promise your ok?"

"Yea, I'm ok Tenshi."

"Yea, I'm ok Tenshi." Sasori said hurridly, because he could practically feel the glares burning into the back of his head.

"If you say so, Sori-kun." she said with a sigh, and she went to fix herself a cup of coffee.

Suddenly, the semi-peaceful air was shattered when Tobi came crashing into the room.

"Hina-na! he yelled and ran towards Hinata, ready to tackle her in a bear hug.

Unfortunately, Sasori stood between the masked man and his goal, and Tobi wasn't going to stop for anything.

There was a crashing sound as Tobi body-slammed into Sasori and knocked the full pan of eggs he had been carrying out of his hand and right onto Hidan's, who had just entered the kitchen's, face.

"YOUR DEAD, PUPPET BOY!" he bellowed, and lunged after the redhead who was already down the hall.

Itachi, hearing the threat, walked into the room, but upon seeing the destruction, walked right back out.

"I'm soo NOT cleaning that up." he muttered as he passed Kakuzu in the hall.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, totally confused. "Creepy Uchiha, he's talking to himself again." he said with a shake of his head. With a shrug, he ducked into the kitchen.

If any of the sound ninjas were listening, they could tell exactly where the Akatsuki were hiding by how loud Kakuzu was yelling.

"ALL THIS SHIT COSTS MONEY!" he screeched like a money-hungry vulture from hell.

Hinata and Tobi were covering each other's ears, but the rest of the Akatsuki had to suffer for manly reasons.

"I'm gonna start billing all your asses for all the shit you break, or waste, or blow up! Do you know how much I'll need to replace this breakfast that ended up all over the floor?"

"$3.50?" Hinata spoke up, but was promptly ignored.

"We are in severe debt. What will be do when Deidara blows up this hideout? We cant afford to buy another one! We cant even rent!"

"Ooh, Tobi has an idea!" the masked man called out while jumping up and down.

"What is your idea Tobi?" Pein asked, using his leadery voice.

"Tobi could sell Criminal Cookies!"

"Criminal Cookies? What the fuck are those?" asked Hidan who had magically appeared out of nowhere.

"They're like girl scout cookies, but Tobi is a criminal, so…CRIMINAL COOKIES! Tobi wishes he was a girl scout though. Tobi would look so cute in a green skirt, and he's bee a good b-"

That's as far as the poor guy got before Hidan silenced him with the now empty frying pan that once held yummy breakfast.

After a beat, Hinata piped up.

"I can always pimp you guys out." she said casually.

"What!" demanded an outraged Pein.

Totally ignoring him, Kakuzu considered.

"You do have a point. Many women would pay big bucks for a night with one of the Akatsuki. I couldn't, of course. I'd be the manager."

"Of course, of course." came Hinata's understanding reply.

"Like hell! I'm not your fucking hoe!" Hidan yelled.

SLAP!

"You are now." Hinata said with a smirk.

Elsewhere in the hideout:

"Uchiha senses. Tingling! Don't. Wanna. Be. A. Hoe!"

Back in Kitchen:

Everyone gaped. Hinata just slapped Hidan! No, she bitch-slapped him! To everyone's surprise, he smirked.

"Damn, I love a domineering woman."

Before anyone knew what was happening, he had Hinata in a tight lip-lock, with both arms wrapped tightly around her petite waist.

Hinata gasped in total surprise, allowing Hidan access to her mouth. Greedily he kissed her, hungry for the sweet honeyed taste of her. Finally, she broke away from him to see the huge smirk on his handsome face.

"Damn you taste good."

Slowly Sasori walked past the kitchen's entrance. "Stop molesting people, Hidan." he said calmly, but inside, he was seething.

Kisame, on the other hand, didn't hide his feelings so well.

"Get the hell away from her, you white haired freak! Samehada will rip you to shreds!" and he pulled out his sword and swung.

Blinded by rage, Kisame failed to take into account Hinata's current position.

Hidan laughed as his life's blood fell to the floor, but stilled when he felt Hinata stiffen at his side. Looking at her, he spied the fresh wound that ran along her pale skin.

"Look what you fuckin' did, you ugly-ass fish stick! Now she's fuckin' hurt!"

At this, all action ceased.

"Kisame's eyes got really big, realizing what he's done. Dropping the sword, he ran to Hinata's side.

She would not cry. The pain was intense, but she would not cry. All her life, she had been trained to hide her emotions, her feelings, and even now, when she felt like someone had ripped her open and poured battery acid in her wound, she would not cry out.

She found it ironic that the lessons she had learned from the very man she hated beyond life itself were the ones governing her actions now.

Dimly, Hinata heard the voices around her panic. Slowly, she descended into the world of her memory.

Flashback:

Little Hinata was confused. Everywhere, there were flowers, and all the people around had were tear-streaked faces and watery smiles to offer her. Still just a child, she was torn by the sadness in the air, so she ran off the find someone who would offer her some answers.

Thinking she'd found her father, she tapped on his leg to find that it was her beloved uncle Hizashi.

"Hello little flower. How are you feeling?" he asked her gently.

She balled her fist.

"Uncle, I don't understand?" she explained. "Why is everyone so upset? They all say that they are sorry for my loss, but I haven't lost anything!…except my bear Monty, but, why would they be so sad over him? I'm so confused!"

"Hinata-Chan, they are not crying over your bear Monty." Hizashi said with a small smile at the girl's innocence. "They are crying over your mother."

"Mother? What's wrong with her? She's just sleeping, right?" Hinata asked in a concerned way.

"Yes, honey, she is just sleeping. But, your father is very upset about it. For him, she was like no other, and he will have to wait a long time to see her again."

"Why is that, Uncle?"

"Because, your mother has moved on. She is awake in another world, waiting for you and your sister and father."

Hinata nodded in understanding.

"So, I will see her again, right Uncle? I mean, if she's somewhere else, I'll just have to get there too. Father can come with me, and then we will all be together again."

"One day, little flower. Some day far into the future, I know you will find her. But, your father is not so content to wait that long. He is very upset." Hizashi said soothingly. After all, he did not want his little niece to join his Sister-in-law quite so soon.

"If Father is so upset, then I should find him to make him laugh again!" Hinata said determinedly, and ran off before her Uncle could stop her.

Winding through the halls of the Hyuuga Main House, Hinata made her way to the place where her father always went when he had a bad day.

Slowly, she creaked the heavy office door open to find her father slumped in his old fashioned leather desk chair.

"Father?" she questioned. The man's head snapped up, revealing the handsome face of Hiashi Hyuuga, streaked with tears, eyes bloodshot with sorrow and sake.

"Why would you seek me out, you cruel spirit?" he asked with anger lacing his voice.

"Father, what do you mean? It's me, Hinata." she said, slightly afraid. Never before had she seen him quite like this.

"I know who you are! You're HER daughter. You look just like her! Coming back to haunt me with her features, you mock me with your weakness!" he bellowed at the small girl, who was not shivering before him.

"F-father, I d-don't understand! Why a-are you doing t-this?" she stammered at his reaction to her.

"Because I despise you, you worthless brat. You look just like her, but you are NOTHING like her! She was perfect, and you are just a horrible recreation. Get out of my sight!" he roared, sending the poor girl from the office. The final words that followed her were, " I wish it was YOU who had died."

Those final sentiments were the ones that broke the tie between a daughter and father. Young Hinata realized that she would never have her father back. The man who was her best friend and savior was gone forever, leaving nothing of himself behind.

End Flashback:

Even in her state of semi-consciousness, she could be surprised.

Something warm was coursing through her body.

The warmth seemed to surround the broken part of her, and then slowly branch out to her whole body, making her all fuzzy and lightheaded.

She cracked an eye open, and was amazed by what she saw.

She looked down to see Tobi's ungloved hands on her sternum, slowly pumping chakra into her wound, which was now barely a scratch. His lollipop mask lay beside him on the floor, and dark, messy locks spilled over his shoulders as he looked down at her with a beguiling smile on his face.

"Surprise, Hina-na."