Hopeless Girl

It wasn't like me to get all flustered over a cute boy. It was unlike me to even notice a cute boy at all, let alone care. However, ever since I'd come to this school I'd been having lots of new experiences. It was the last day of school before break and I was on my way home after a leisurely day. I had taken a detour through town to stop by the grocery store to pick some stuff up for my mother. She was planning on making deserts for my aunt's house on Christmas.

I was walking out of the store, holding my white jacket trimmed in faux white fur closer to me. I considered taking my hair down so my ears wouldn't freeze off but my hands were too full with bags to take my hair out of it's bun. I made my way to the car and was unable to get my keys out of my pocket, hence I was unable to get my car door open.

"Aw fuck," I muttered, attempting to slide the bags around my wrists to free my hands. The thin plastic dug into my wrists as I struggled to free my hands. Sadly, I had one too many bags for that to be accomplishable. I kept trying for a bit longer though, knowing I had to get into my car somehow.

"Need some help there?" came a very recognizable voice. Will. Honestly, who were you expecting? After being in Hollow Creek for over a month, I had become accustomed to the habits of some of my . . . well I guess they were my friends. Will had a habit of popping up where you least expected it . . . So often that it was almost expected.

Will was coming over from the store, holding a single plastic bag. He hadn't been in school that day and the reason was apparent to me. For the first time in three weeks, he seemed sober again. Obviously suffering from some kind of withdrawal. He didn't seem bad, but he didn't seem good. Actually, I was pretty sure I'd never seen him looking 'good' per say. Today he had dark shadows under his eyes, the fading bruises from the other day still visible against his unusually pale skin. He had his Northface jacket on and didn't seem quite as cold as me, probably because my jacket was too thin.

"As much as I hate to admit it . . . " I trailed off, "Yes."
"Will to the rescue," he mumbled listlessly as he came over and took some of the bags from me, freeing my hands.

"So where were you today?" I asked as I got my keys out of my pocket, "Off saving the world from alien invasions."
He smiled faintly. "No," he said, "I had to stay home and help my mom pack."

"Oh you're going away?" I asked. Where did hookers go on vacation exactly?
"Yeah. My mom's boyfriend is flying us to Florida with him," he said, not seeming particularly cheered by this.

It made sense now though. If his mom was as pretty and easy as everyone said (I still didn't have an exact confirmation on whether or not she was a prostitute though) then it made sense that she had a rich boyfriend who was willing to fly her and her son all over the place.

"Oh . . . That's nice," I said.
He shrugged. "Eh not so much. I have to spend the next week and a half sober. Which sucks."

"What? Mommy doesn't know you're a druggie?" I quipped as I unlocked my car.
"Oh she knows," he said, "She's not happy about it, but there's not much she can do to stop me. She works a lot."

"On the corners?" I wondered silently, not daring to say it aloud. That would be rude, even for me. Not to mention that Will wouldn't react well obviously.

"So a vacation means constant supervision, hence no drugs, hence bad?" I assumed as I went around back and opened my trunk.
"Yes. But mostly because my mom's boyfriend is such a stiff who thinks I'm 'going down a bad road.'" he said, following me. "So yeah. No drugs equals no fun."

I guess not in Will's book.

"Well why don't you spend Christmas with your dad?" I asked as I loaded some of the bags in.
He laughed dryly. "Yeah that's tons better," he muttered sarcastically. Sarcasm wasn't something he used often. When he was high, like he usually was, he was serious about everything.

"Why? What's wrong with your dad?" I wondered.
"Uh I don't know? Everything," he said, helping me load up my trunk, "Not only is he a huge ass, but his new wife's a bitch and his step son's a jerk."

"Sounds pleasant," I said.
"Oh yeah totally," he said sarcastically. "Which is why I'd rather spend my holiday sober than completely miserable."

"I think I'd make a similiar descion," I agreed, "Seeing as I spend every day sober."
And not completely miserable, thank you Aaron. Only moderately miserable.

"I don't know how you do it," he mumbled, placing the last of the bags in the trunk.
"A real mystery," I muttered, only half paying attention to him as I rearranged the bags in the trunk. Will had just sort of placed them without any regard to order.

"OCD much?" he quipped.
I shrugged as I continued to arrange them so that the heavy bags were in the back, the light ones in the front. I was never sure why I always did that.

"I like order," I said.
"And I like weed, but you don't see me obsessively rearranging my bong collection," he muttered sarcastically.

I raised an eyebrow. "Collection?" I echoed.
"Pretend you didn't hear that," he told me, watching my sorting, "Are you done yet?"

I gave the bags a once over before answering. "Yes," I said, closing the trunk. "Thanks. Do you want a ride?"
"Ummmmm," he thought about it, "Could you drop me off at the deli across town? I promised my mom I'd get her a sandwich."

"Yeah sure. Alright. I could do that," I agreed, "Come on."
I got in the driver's seat and Will got into the passenger seat. I put the keys in the ignition and turned on the heat before looking at Will.

It wasn't until then, seeing Will sitting in my car, looking as good as I'd ever seen him, that some kind of long buried girl gene in me kicked in. I felt my palms get all sweaty and it seemed almost as if my pulse actually quickened. My mouth felt all dry and I had the strangest urge to fix my hair and adjust my jacket.

It was probably the first time I actually looked at a guy like that. Never had I noticed the things that I had noticed then. I had the power to see everything, and yet, until that moment, I felt like I had never seen anything. It was like I was looking at him with brand new eyes.

I took notice of how smooth and clear his skin appeared, practically without flaw. I noticed how perfectly shaped his lips were, how soft and . . . supple they looked. How his face was perfectly shaped with a perfect chin, and perfect cheekbones, and a perfect nose. How his dark hair was painstakingly and endearingly mussed with the personalized blood red tips. How his big eyes were a liquid stormy grey color like turbulent ocean waves. How his dark lashes were full like a girl's. How the two bruises on his jaw and forehead matched the shadows under his eyes. And still, those faults did little to dampen the rest of his perfection.

"What the fuck?" I thought as I got through the romanticized haze that had formed in my mind. Why was I thinking about Will like that? Why was I thinking about any guy like that? When I'd arrived in Hollow Creek I'd been a cynical ice queen. Now I was what? A hapless gushing hopeless romantic? No way in hell.

"You alright?" he wondered, looking up at me in concern through his lashes.
I felt my bones turn to jelly. "Oh that voice . . . And that look. God it's smoldering," the thoughts were in my head before I could stop them. What was wrong with me? I was becoming a softie.

"I'm fine," I snapped, as I put the car in reverse, putting my foot down on the pedal with perhaps a little too much force. I pulled out of the parking lot and turned up the radio, avoiding looking at Will. He was making me all flustered and I didn't know why. All I knew was that I didn't like it at all.

"Do you uh . . . um live in town?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road. I groaned inwardly. I had just stuttered. I. Had. Just. Stuttered.
"Sort of. Just on the outskirts," he said, "I usually just walk everywhere."

"And you've never stumbled into the street and gotten hit by a car?" I asked, pulling myself back together enough to be sarcastic and snippy. Good. Perfect.
He smiled slightly. "Surprisingly yes," he said, giving me an accusatory, teasing look.

"Oh God the look again," I thought in dread, "The smoldering 'looking up through the lashes' look. Oh God, Oh God." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds. "Pull yourself together Lamorte, pull it together damn it."

"Surprising yes," I agreed, "Seeing as I've seen you walk into doors on a regular basis. And according to school gossip, you're a miserable klutz."
He shrugged. "If the boot fits . . ." he said.

"Well we've arrived," I said, finding a parking spot outside the deli, "Time to dismount the vehicle."
"Who says things like dismount in regular conversation?" he asked, giving me the look again. I gripped the steering wheel and adverted my eyes.

"I do," I said, "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Me? No, of course not," he said, putting his hands up to proclaim his innocence, "In fact, I was wondering if you'd want to hang out sometime. You know . . . after break."

I swore to God that my heart skipped a beat just then. My immediate reaction was influenced by my god forsaken hormones kicking in, I told myself. Once I let my brain do the thinking I remembered that Will was a hopeless stoner who was going nowhere.

But for some reason it wasn't my brain that was controlling my mouth just then. It was those god damned hormones. "Um sure yeah. I mean . . . okay," I stammered out.
"Cool," he said, smiling to reveal a set of sparkling pearly whites, "I'll see you around then."

He gave me a slight mock salute before flashing another genuine smile before stepping out of the car. "Thanks for the ride," he said, taking his bag and closing the door behind him. I watched him walk away and disappear into the deli.

I slammed my head against the steering wheel. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," I muttered, "The fuck is wrong with you?" It was those god damn teenage hormones that everyone was always harping on and on about. I had never felt such strong hormonal affects though, well except when I was PMS'ing. Never had I felt really attracted to a boy. Sure, I noticed attractive guys, I just never really cared before. I knew too much about all of them to effectivly be drawn to them. Maybe that was why my hormones had kicked in with Will, because I didn't know a lot about him. That was probably it. Besides, he was gorgeous, whether or not I liked it. I was sure of one thing though.

No way in hell was I letting myself fall for Will.