Captain Falcon's Lawn and Other Problems

We were all seated at dinner, even with Mario and Luigi, who were usually walking about the dining room serving food or cooking in the kitchen.

"Thank-a you for inviting us, Sammy." Mario acknowledged her. She nodded back. As being Samus's older brother (it is strange, I know, I live with it and so can you), Mario does not settle with Samus; he calls her Sammy, or Samantha (her real name) when she puts a toe beyond the line that Mario drew.

"Sammy, this is pretty good cooking for what I know you usually do." Mario complimented his younger sister. My mouth popped open – normally, Samus's cooking is like a glue like substance that is supposed to be mashed potatoes.

"Actually," Luigi interrupted, raising a hand in recognition, " I made ze dinner tonight."

"Oh, then ze the dinner is terrible!" Mario exclaimed, disgusted, placing down his fork. We would all think that Mario and Luigi were tight, close brothers, but they heavily criticize each other's cooking at frequent intervals.

"Samantha," Luigi scolded, ignoring his older brother's comment, "take-a off that aluminum foil and wear-a something decent for-a once." He gestured to the armor ladened woman.

"And by golly, eat-a dinner with the family! You are skinny enough!" Mario tutted, pointing to the untouched plate of linguine in front of her. Samus just shook her helmeted head, and said something about needing to leave soon. Samus was usually absent, due to her bounty hunting, and kept her armor on mostly, even at home (I wouldn't be surprised if she actually slept with it). She was either gone, or about to leave, so the power suit stays on. But there are some drawbacks; one time, she was driving Link, Zelda, and Kirby home from school with her cannon still clasped to her right arm, she accidentally blasted a plasma ball right through the engine of the car while fumbling with the steering wheel.

Her poor husband – not only Captain Falcon has to replace the car, he also has to replace his lawn very often. In our backyard, there is a huge expanse of lawn, then a field, then the forest. Of the three, the lawn was the smallest, but it still was a hefty piece of land. What was sad about the lawn was the fact it had never lasted for more than half a year. There is always an event that wrecks the Cap'n Falcon's lawn, never failing to show up. This time, the tragedy happened to be Yoshi. I suppose he got carried away in his grazing (he is fond of a quiet afternoon with a mouthful of tender greens), because he trimmed the lawn down a little too far. Captain Falcon yelled at Yoshi (for obvious reasons), and then Mario and Luigi yelled right back for the dinosaur because the fertilizer in the grass made Yoshi's tummy sick. Arguing shot back and forth, and in the end, there was always this grumbling person everywhere you go – including yourself.

Yoshi was whimpering, clutching his stomach.

"Ooh! My tummy hurt!" Yoshi moaned. I hoped he did not have a bathroom problem; the last time that happened, Yoshi ended up having poop spewing out of his diaper, and the wretched liquid was all over the house. It was a good thing that Mario and Luigi showed up and cleared the Castle.

"Do you need soup, Yoshi?" I asked, gently. When Yoshi had stomach problems, Mario or Luigi gave some soup to him.

"I wan soup." Yoshi whimpered, and waddled off to the kitchen.

Kirby said he wanted to be alone for a little while, so I left him in his room. There was still adults, Link and Ness at the dinner table, so I joined the adult conversation. The adults were there to socialize, Ness was smart enough to join in the fray, and Link was there because Zelda just walked into the room.

"So, how's Kiuhbee doing in school?" Mario asked Link, trying to make small talk with his older nephew. Link just mumbled.

"He's the best student in all of his classes." Ness stated, "I looked up his grade on the Internet."

"Now, now," Luigi said, suspiciously, "do you mean to tell me you hacked onto the teacher's roster and compared each students' grades?"

"Well, not really..." Ness said, flushing with embarrassment. I, however, knew he did it because I watched him do so after he comes home from school.

"I think Link's pet rat is smarter than him." Ness piped up.

"Shut up." Link muttered threateningly.

"What are you talking about, pet rat?" I yelled; I absolutely hate being called a pet – it made me feel inferior and stupid.

"Sorry, Pikachu." Ness apologized, "Well, anyways, Pikachu is just as smart as Link – or even smarter." I smiled in embarrassment, and pride.

"Oh, she should-a go to school and-a get herself an education!" Mario exclaimed.

"You want to send a rat to school? You have to be joking me." Link said, disbelieving. I also was not believing what I heard, but a different statement; I was raging in burning fury.

"Hey!" I faced Link and let my glare bore into his eyes, "If Kirby can go to school, so can I!" I was not about to be segregated just because I was a rodent, especially by Link. I can do his homework and read twice as fast as he can.

"I think that Pikachu can go to school," Mario said, scratching his chin, "we just-a need to apply her – and-a use heavy persuasive skills."

It turned out that I had to sign a whole bunch of paperwork and take a test. A week later, I was accepted. I was sorting through school items with Kirby.

"Do I have to carry those huge binders every period?" I asked, thinking of myself stumbling through a crowd of teenagers behind a teetering pile of over-sized books.

"Well, you are going to be carrying these." Kirby handed me a binder for index cards and a spiral-bound index cards booklet.

"Will I get a locker?" I dropped my stack.

"You'll be sharing one with me." Kirby said, simply.

"Do people have allergies in your class?" I asked, worried whether or not my new classmates will break down in hives.

"Yeah; there's this guy who can't eat nuts -"

"I mean that is there someone allergic to me." I restated.

"There is one on the bus, but none in my classes, though." Kirby answered.

"Do we have to wear a uniform?" I thought aloud.

"Do you see me wearing any clothes?" Kirby said, raising his arms and looked down on his body, and looked up with a duh look. I shook my head.

"Good." Kirby packed his bag and plopped it on the ground.

That night, I thought about school. It seemed okay, but I was nervous. It can't be that bad, I said to myself. Dismissing the subject, I punched my pillow into a more comfortable shape, and closed my eyes.

Remember what Pikachu said about animals living together with people? Well, she forgot to mention the fact that animals ONLY work together with people in secret agencies, like the FBI and the CIA. Animals still are segregated, sadly.

Pikachu: You got that right, sister! What happened to animal rights?