Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight or the characters, but right fricken now ahealthydistrust owns K's soul.
K: Sorry we're an hour late in posting. RL can suck big harry… well fill it in your all smart! So guess what Demons and Sinners made it to the final round out that Indie TwiFic awards. We are up for Best Collaboration WIP and Best non ExB Story WIP. Voting starts July 22nd thru the 26th so go to http : / / www(dot)theindietwificawards(dot)com / default(dot)aspx to vote! Remeber to take out the spaces and what not... links are also on the proflie ;)
Robs- *faints* whew today has been insane...well this week really. Thank you's to our ladies and our peen we love you hard! If you guys get bored between chapters y'all should check out one of our beta's Amber has a new Jalice fic that is pretty awesome check it out! http : / / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / s / 5235084 / 1 / In_a_New_Direction .
Also Special thank yous to our beta ladies ^.^ Don't hang us!
Why Not Me?
"It's not that I want to be the one holding your hand, it's just that I don't want her to be the one holding it"
-Dawson's Creek
So getting sick wasn't fun. I hated every minute of that damned pneumonia. I hated the way Jasper seemed to blame himself whenever I coughed, or said ow, or even when I had to take a hit from my inhaler. I even hated the way he would call into work to take care of me. Sure, I loved that he was with me, but I knew he needed the money he was missing out on by staying home with me.
The last three weeks had been interesting. At first, I was beginning to wonder just how bad Jasper's addiction to drugs was. It seemed as if he didn't need it. But then suddenly, Edward was at the apartment checking to make sure I was taking my meds and Jasper wasn't to be found. 'He has things to take care of', was the only response I would get from Edward, but I could see the pain in his emerald green eyes. And even though he wouldn't tell me directly, I knew Jasper was off getting high and once again avoiding me.
It was hard for me to pin point when exactly Jasper would need his next fix, but I was getting better at noticing the signs. It also seemed as if the time between fixes was getting longer. But who knows, I've been drugged up on codeine for a while, so it could all be a dream to me.
That was another thing funny about our arrangement. We acted like a couple, at least I think we did, but we weren't a couple. He was constantly harping on me to eat, when he was around; always bringing me fresh pies from work and even an Oreo Mc flurry one time. He even went as far as measuring out my medicine for me. Figure that one out, a drug addict worried about me taking too much of my prescription. As sad as it sounds though, those were the things making me fall for him.
The knock on the bathroom door broke me from my thoughts, "Darlin' you about ready?" Jasper asked through the door. I looked at my refection in the mirror gauging if I was done or not.
"Just a minute babe," I called back to him as I wound my hair into a loose bun. Thankfully this past week, I've been able to do things again without coughing so bad it hurt. In fact, in the last three days I haven't coughed once. Just in time to have dinner with the Cullen's.
I quickly used the curling iron that had mysteriously appeared last week, to curl the wisps of hair that fell around my face. I heard Jasper on the phone. I couldn't hear much of his conversation just that he was making plans for Monday night.
Once I was done with my hair, I made sure to unplug the curling iron. I finished my makeup and quickly slid my shoes on then took one final look at myself in the mirror. I was very satisfied with my white linen skirt with matching white blouse so I left the bathroom to look for Jasper.
I found him in the bedroom tucking his dark green shirt into his dark jeans. I officially loved going to family dinners with Jasper because he always looked so fucking sexy when he got dressed up. He turned and smiled at me.
"Ready?" I nodded and turned to leave the room. "Do you have your inhaler?" He asked following me, I could hear him grab his keys.
"Yep, in my bag," I told him as I picked up my bag. He gave me a funny look, but said nothing as he held the door open for me.
The ride to his parent's house was quiet, and a few blocks from the house he pulled over, telling me we had to switch in case his mom was watching us pull up. That's right, I'm the one supposed to be driving.
Once we got there, he helped me down from the bronco, my body sliding against his front making me very aware of his erection. I bit my lip as I thought about ways to help him with his 'problem'.
He took my hand, leading me into the house as we entered through the garage. I followed behind him as my heart did flips at the simple gesture of his holding my hand. We were greeted by Esme who looked as beautiful as always in the black slacks and cream colored blouse she was wearing. She gave us both a warm hug, complementing Jasper on his trim but then giving him hell about his hair still falling in his eyes. I asked her if she needed any help with dinner, which earned me a laugh and smile as she said she had it under control. She suggested Jasper and I go watch some television while we waited instead.
"Um, actually," I said causing Jasper to look at me in question. "I was thinking maybe Jasper would like to help me pick out some books from his collection. I've been thinking of picking up on some reading." I smiled at Jasper. Esme nodded and agreed with me.
"What sort of things do you like to read about?" He asked as he led me up the stairs to his room. Doesn't he know the book thing was a ruse?
"Um... Something with a good story line," I said as we reached the creaking step. I smiled, knowing exactly how that was going to help me.
He opened the door, motioning for me to enter before him. I caught a smirk as I passed him. "Well, let's see..." He said closing the door, then heading to his bookcase. "There's The Outsiders, The Catcher in the Rye, Glory." He chuckled, looking at me. "Harry Potter." He looked back at his books and I used the opportunity to lock the door. "I have all Shakespeare's finest works with notes in the margins so you can understand it. If you want something that is rather eye opening there's Night..." he trailed off when he felt my hand take his.
"Well, what would you recommend?" I asked pulling him towards the bed.
"Um, ever read To Kill a Mockingbird or, Of Mice and Men?" I nodded as I turned us so he was walking backwards towards the bed now. I smiled at him. He was rambling about books and it was fucking cute of him. Apparently he's a closet book worm. "Those are books usually recommended as school reading, but ones I actually enjoyed," he continued.
"I've read them and I quite enjoyed them myself." I told him as the back of his legs hit the side of the bed. "What about romances? Got any of those that you liked?" I asked, pushing him back on to the bed.
He caught himself with his elbows, "Gone with the Wind." He shook his head, "I don't read much romance, hence the reason, I'm not romantic." I pulled my skirt up to straddle him.
"Well I don't believe that Jasper," I said as I started to kiss his neck. "I mean, you did after all nurse me back to a healthy state. That in its self is pretty damn romantic if you ask me."
I felt him tug on the collar of my shirt, kissing the exposed skin of my shoulder, "Isn't romance supposed to be like flowers, diamonds and chocolate, grand gestures of love, sweeping a girl off her feet?" He asked as his hand slid up the back of my shirt, pushing me closer to him. "And you know, aren't I supposed to look like Fabio?" He asked while kissing my neck.
I giggled in his ear as my hands slid to the fly of his jeans. "Fabio's not my type. But lucky for you, you are definitely my type," I informed him as I unbuttoned his jeans.
"Makes me very lucky indeed." I climbed up off him, tugging on his jeans. He lifted his hips so I could pull them down I reached for his boxers. "We gotta be quiet baby," he warned as I pulled his boxers down, freeing my prize.
I smirked at him, "Well, listen for the creak babe and don't worry about me. I don't talk with my mouth full." I got comfortable as I stroked him, watching as he fell back on the bed.
"Fuck me..." he said in what sounded like a pained plea, but no louder than a whisper.
Oh trust me, you'll get that tonight as well, I thought as I licked him from base to tip. I sucked on the head a little, much like you do to the top of an ice cream cone.
"Yummy." I giggled, causing him to groan, before sliding him in my mouth.
I bobbed my mouth along his shaft, taking him in as much as I could, as I swirled my tongue around him. Jasper bucked his hips some as he moaned out quietly. I moved faster on him as I rubbed my thighs together to relieve some of the tension building between my legs. That was the one thing about giving Jasper head, it always turned me on.
I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, stroking him in rhythm with the work my mouth was doing. Occasionally I tightened my hold on him as I took him in deeper, causing him to buck again, as his hand ran through my hair. Not trying to force a pace but as if a loving gesture that egged me on.
After gently dragging my teeth along his shaft I felt him start to twitch, followed by his warning that he was gonna cum. I wanted to giggle at how after all this time he still wanted to warn me, like I was gonna pass up on that.
I hummed around him as I relaxed my throat to take him in farther as he exploded into my mouth. Quickly I swallowed every drop, pulling back from him slowly.
Quickly Jasper reached down and pulled me to him. His eyes were bright as he searched my face, a conflict evident in his eyes. I understood what was wrong when he kissed my chin.
"Fuck that was awesome," he murmured against the flesh of my neck as he licked at my skin, this time making me moan out.
"Well, I did promise to make up for all the teasing didn't I?"
After Jasper redressed and I grabbed a few books off his shelf we headed down the stairs just as Edward was coming up to get us for dinner. He gave us a curious look before shaking his head and heading to the dining room. I tugged on Jasper's hand to make him to stop. He turned to me, raising an eyebrow as I stood on my toes to run my fingers through his hair.
"Sorry, your hair was... yeah." I shrugged while giggling. I didn't want his parents to have evidence of us breaking their rules, and he definitely had sex hair.
"Usually happens when girls attack you on a bed," he said, smirking at me.
I pouted, "Well, if you didn't like part one of your surprises," I sighed trying to sound disappointed. "I guess I can forget the rest of the night," I teased as I headed into the dining room.
He grabbed my hand, spinning me back to him as he held me close. "I didn't say I didn't like it," he said as he looked down at me.
"Well good, cause I was looking forward to later," I said while winking at him.
He moved his head to place wet, hot kisses on my neck, causing me to grab his shirt in my fist. "I want to kiss you so damn bad right now," he confessed in a hushed tone.
"And you will Jasper, I promise, just not now." I pulled away, taking his hand in mine and dragging him towards the dining room.
"Tease," he whined as he followed behind me.
Dinner was once again excellent. Esme had made a delicious roast with red potatoes carrots and cabbage. It was entertaining to see how Esme treated her grown son when he pouted over the cabbage, but she handled it like any good mother, by telling him it wouldn't kill him.
"Do you want to trade? My carrots for your cabbage?" I asked him softly.
"You need carrots for your health," Jasper retorted.
"Yeah and cabbage is good for you too you know."
He poked at the cabbage on his plate, "Tell me what vitamins it has that help me and I will. Carrots help you see."
No shit Sherlock, I thought as I looked over to Carlisle to help me. Carlisle gave me a sheepish smile as I caught him sliding his own cabbage into a napkin. Well now I know were Jasper gets it from.
I shook my head, "Fine Jasper don't eat your cabbage, more coffee cake for those of us who do eat our dinner," I teased while taking a bite. I saw Esme grin at me as I winked at her. Remembering her mentioning the coffee cake she made for dessert
I saw Jasper's jaw drop from the corner of my eye. "And just who says you're good enough to have said coffee cake," he asked, poking me in the side. I laughed and tried to pull away from him.
"Cause I'm an angel." I grinned as I motioned around my head. "See the halo?"
He raised his eyebrow and leaned into me, whispering quietly in my ear, "Yeah, 'angel of blow jobs' wasn't it?"
I blushed as I turned to look at him. "Only cause I was tempted by the devil himself." I made point of having him see me look up and down his frame as I gave him a half smile.
He returned it with the smile that made my fucking panties wet. The wicked one that made it clear he was gonna fuck me until I forgot my own name when he got the chance. "Feel like dancing with the devil under the light of the moon?" He whispered again.
I leaned closer to him, "Well now, are you the Joker or the Devil? 'Cause I'm confused now."
He looked as if he was thinking it over, "Hmm... I can't claim to be the devil..." He turned his head towards mine. "A devil maybe," he concluded.
I looked up at his eyes and noticed that he was watching me intently. "Well either way, would you be the one I would dance with?"
He nodded his response. Our faces were so close to each other now that his nose brushed against mine. I had to grab on to the fabric of my skirt to keep my hands from grabbing his face and crashing his lips to mine.
I swallowed roughly, my throat suddenly very dry as I nodded, "Then yeah, I would definitely dance with a devil under the light of the moon." He moved his head slightly as I felt his lips at the corner of my mouth. Before he could pull away I moved my head, our lips barely touching when someone loudly cleared their throat causing us to jerk away from each other. I looked down at my lap as I felt my face burn in embarrassment. I can't believe I forgot we were having dinner with his family.
The rest of the dinner went smoothly but there was a shift in the bubble that Jasper and I were in and judging by the way he would look over at me, he felt it too. I don't know how to describe it really, it was like the point where we were just roommates that liked each other was crossed into a whole different level. Honestly I was both excited and scared beyond reason.
Jasper had put his hand in mine and suddenly I had butterflies that made me feel sick. Unable to continue eating, I sat and listened to the Cullen's talk about various topics that affected the family. I could feel Jasper rubbing circles in my hand, obviously feeling my unease, but I just smiled up at him, praying the night would end soon.
Just as Carlisle started recounting a story about taking the boys camping one summer, Jasper leaned over and whispered, "Are you okay?" Was I okay? Something about tonight was making me uneasy, but it wasn't where I was or who I was with. Intuition was what my mom used to called it. The feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you something, but you never know what it is until it hits you.
I smiled and nodded at him. "I'm fine, just full." He kissed my temple and joined in with his father, teasing Edward.
Shortly after we were saying goodnight and leaving to go home. The butterflies returned and I turned the radio on to help ease the electricity that seemed to be swirling around Jasper and I. Normally it didn't bother me, it was like a security blanket for me but now it was stronger than usual.
After getting fed up with the many rock songs about being in love I changed the channel to an R&B/Hip Hop station. The first song on was a classic Eminem song and I couldn't help but rap along. He laughed at me as he smoked his cigarette and drove. I was thankful just to have the tension broken. I should have known better, once the opening beat for 'Peaches and Cream' came on. I didn't know what it was with that song but Jesus it made me hot.
Finally about halfway through the song I got enough nerve to change the station, of course I stole a glance at Jasper as I did so. I bit back a smile as I saw him lick his lip. I could see from where I was that his eyes were bright and excited. Fuck yeah, I'm getting laid! I fist pumped in my head, as I tuned the radio back to the rock station.
And wouldn't you know it, another sex song was on. I was about to snap the radio off but Jasper's hand stopped me.
"It's a good song," he said. Uh, yeah I know that, I thought as I leaned back in the seat. I actually preferred this version of 'Pony' to the original, but I wouldn't tell Jasper that. I watched him coyly as he drove. He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel as he sang along to the song. Jesus Christ, if I wasn't worried about him crashing I would so fuck him right now. For the second time tonight I found myself rubbing my thighs together trying to cause some much needed friction.
My thoughts of being inconspicuous as I watched Jasper were obviously not true as he looked at me and smirked as he sang;
"You and your body...Every single portion
Send chills up and down my spine...
And juices flowin' down your thighs"
We pulled up to the apartment and I bit back the moan his voice was earning as I quickly tried to get out of the bronco.
"Anxious are we?" He teased as he got out. I just looked at him over my shoulder and smiled before running up the stairs to his door. I leaned up against the door, propping one foot against the door and quickly pulled my hair out of its bun as it cascaded in curls around me.
I could hear him whistling as he jogged up the stairs. Fucker knew I was waiting for him.
"Jasper," I called to him. "I don't have my key and I really need you to slide yours in the slot," I said as he reached the landing. I gave him my best innocent face as I twirled my hair around my finger.
He bit his lip as he unlocked the door. Once it was unlocked he pushed the door open and firmly placed his hands on my hips as he pushed me inside. I giggled, adding to the innocent role.
"So you were asking me if I was anxious earlier?" I brought my thumb to my mouth and chewed on the tip as if I was shy. He kicked the door closed with his foot. Reaching behind him to lock it shut.
He licked his bottom lip, "Well, if you're not... I could always..." His hands left me, causing me to pout as he stretched above his head and yawned. "Go to bed."
No way buddy, you are so fucking me tonight, I thought.
"Well, it's too bad you're so tired, cause I have a burning need... and I really need some assistance in satisfying it. I mean just the thought of you helping me..." I ran my hand along the front of his jeans, rejoicing in my head when I felt his cock straining against the fabric. "Makes me very, very, happy." I smirked at him.
His hands dropped down from their stretch and he held my hand over his bulge as he smirked at me, "I think I might have what you need." He brought his other hand to cup my face, kissing my neck as I moaned at his kiss. Fuck, he's gonna make me come right out and say it isn't he? Answer him, I yelled at myself.
"Well, only you can help me Jasper 'cause it's only your cock I want inside me," I said as confidant as possible but I could still feel the heat rise to my face.
"Tell me how bad you want it," he said against my skin, causing my stomach to clench.
"Very."
He let go of my hand as his hands touched my thighs. His fingers ran along my skin and up my skirt, tracing the edge of my panties on my ass. He squeezed it before running his hands up to my hips. "Your panties are in the way," he whispered before taking my earlobe into his mouth sucking on it and causing me to moan and lean into him. He moved his mouth down my neck, licking and nipping at the skin, making my knees feel weak.
"Do you want the honors?" I managed to breathe out. My eyes locked with his, his green eyes flashed something I couldn't read or didn't recognize as he led me to the couch and I felt my ass hit the arm. His thumbs tucked into the waist band of my panties as he pulled them down to my knees. Without taking my eyes from his I kicked them off, along with my shoes and then I reached for his jeans, pulling him closer to me as my hands made quick work of the fly. I pushed them off his ass, using my feet to push them down his legs. He broke our eye contact, kissing my neck again.
I slid my hands into the front of his boxers, stroking his cock as he moaned into my neck. "Your boxers are in the way," I teased.
"Do you want to do the honors?" he asked huskily against my neck. Bastard, teasing me like that. I let go of him and tugged his boxers down, again using my feet to push them down.
I placed my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back some. "Hold on," I explained when he looked at me quizzically. I crossed my arms over each other grabbing the hem of my shirt and pulling up and off. His eye lit up when he figured out I didn't want my shirt on. He grabbed my tit and massaged it through the lacy fabric as he began to suck on my collarbone. I moaned, putting my hands into his hair holding him to me. His other hand slid behind me and undid the clasp of my bra. That's a hidden talent, I thought briefly.
Without breaking contact with his mouth, he slid the bra off my shoulders and down my arms. I reached my arms out behind me as I leaned back, supporting myself up on the seat of the couch with my hands. Jasper's hands ran down the sides of my body as he traced every curve my body held. He gripped my hip firmly as his other hand ran its way to my center. I felt him slide his finger into me and watched him smile when he was able to confirm his unspoken question. He gave me a few pumps with his finger making me buck into his hand.
He chuckled, removing his hand from me making me pout. He reached up and ran his finger along my bottom lip, wiping my juices on me. My eyes locked on his as, out of instinct, my tongue ran along my bottom lip. He bit his lip as he watched me as both his hands grabbed my hips and pulled my ass to the edge of the armrest. I could feel him teasing my entrance and I tried to move forward, but he held tight to me, keeping me in place.
"Jasper, please," I begged. He gave me a nod before sliding into me. My head fell back as I moaned. I loved the way he felt in me. I could hear him mumble something before he started moving, sliding in and out of me, gradually increasing his movement.
I brought my feet up onto the arm of the couch as I lifted my hips. He moved faster, hitting me deeper as I called out his name. Oh shit, I don't think I'm gonna last like this much longer, I thought as I felt my arms begin to shake.
His arm snaked around my back lifting my weight off my arms as he fucked me faster. His hair flopped into his eyes as he bit his lip, thrusting harder into me. I closed my eyes, moving my hips with his as I let the feeling of him dominating my body take over. I felt my muscles clench around him as my body started to tremble.
"Alice come here," he growled to me, causing me to snap my eyes open. He pulled me up, my chest pressed against his. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, attacking his neck with my lips as I moaned against him. He spun us so that he was now sitting on the arm rest.
I felt Jasper's hands move along my body as I bounced on him. He cupped my ass in his hands, squeezing as his lips worked their way across my shoulders. I ran my hand along his forehead brushing his hair back as he looked up at me.
"Oh fuck," I moaned out just as he thrust harder into me, causing me to fly over the edge. I clung to him as my body rode out my orgasm, panting in his ear. I rolled my hips on him fast desperate to get him there. I don't know what came over me as I sucked on his neck, but I started to run my teeth lightly against his neck causing him to moan.
Using that as motivation, I bit into his neck as I bounced faster. He growled out my name as he grabbed my ass harder slamming into me as he came.
----------------
I woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of whistling. Jasper seemed to be doing that a lot lately and it was always one particular song but I couldn't place what it was. I threw the blanket off of me and stretched. My arms were sore but nothing I couldn't deal with. One thing for sure, being with Jasper was definitely going to keep me in shape.
As I sat up I noticed a glass of orange juice and some vitamins. I smiled as I picked up the glass, still ice cold, and took the vitamins. I grabbed his button up, put it on and headed out to the kitchen with my juice.
"Morning Jazzy," I said as I slid up on to the counter, close enough to Jasper but not to get burned by popping bacon grease.
He smiled at me, "Mornin'... how would you like your eggs?"
"Scrambled please." He gave me a half smile before returning his attention to the stove.
His left hand reached over and rubbed my thigh, "Did you sleep well?"
I nodded, "I did. Did you?"
He nodded, "I had good dreams." I wanted to ask him what about, but decided against it.
I took a sip of my juice. "That's good. So, are you free today?" I asked peeking at him through the corner of my eye. I knew he had plans tonight but a part of me hoped he would want to spend the day with me if he could.
He nodded and smiled, "I was hoping you were too." For you always, I thought and blushed at my own stupidity.
I laughed trying to cover up the girlie grin that stretched across my face. "Gee let me think... um, yep I free." I mentally rolled my eyes. Way to sound like a love sick fool Alice. Wait, love?
Jasper leaned over and kissed my shoulder, "Good." I smiled as the butterflies returned with the tingles. The feeling from last night returned.
"So, did you want to do anything special or just hang out here?" I asked before finishing my juice.
He shrugged as he put the egg mixture into the frying pan. "Maybe we could go to the park... there's this little hot dog cart we could get hot dogs and you could draw and I could just hang with you?" I leaned my hands on the edge of the counter to keep myself from flying away. I couldn't believe he actually wanted to spend time with me while I drew. Or basically with me in general.
I nodded, "That sounds nice and I also wanted to go to the open fair market thing that your mom was talking about." I chewed on my lip, unsure if he would want to go. But honestly the market sounded nice. Esme had told me that there were plenty of vendors with hand crafted good as well as fresh produce and flowers. "If that's okay with you," I added.
He nodded, flipping the eggs around. "That sounds great baby." He looked at me and smiled. I felt like my heart was gonna fly out of my chest. He called me baby! And all this time I thought he didn't see me that way. I mean I was always calling him, Jazzy or babe, and he never said anything.
I grinned at him as I jumped down from the counter. I gave him a quick hug around his waist kissing his back, before I got the stuff for our table. As I set the table, I started to think about the feeling of unease from last night and how it appeared again. I couldn't place it but as Jasper came out of the kitchen with breakfast, I realized whatever it was I didn't care because I was with Jasper and I hoped to be for as long as possible.
We went to the open air market first, deciding it made more sense since it was farther than park. I felt like my face was going to break with the amount of smiling I was doing. But it didn't matter cause here I was, in downtown Seattle holding hands and walking around with not only the funniest guy I had ever met but also the sexiest and most fuckable man ever.
We passed one of those photo booths that give you a strip of photos. I started to pull Jasper towards the booth.
"Oh babe! Look instead of five, you get ten photos." I pointed out at the sign.
He grimaced as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh… darlin' I'm gonna break the machine."
"Whatever" I rolled my eyes then pouted, "Jazzy... don't you want a photograph to remember our first date?" I felt my eyes go wide as his eyebrow rose. Shit I did not just say that. I felt the heat rise to my face as I tried to back pedal, "I mean our um... first outing?" I chewed on my lip waiting for him to say it was over and to take me home.
But it never came, instead he gave me a gentle smile and nodded. He brought our hands to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. "Just don't blame me if it breaks, okay?" he said.
I made a snorting noise, "As if, you're fucking hot," I said, hoping to get the carefree moment back as I pushed him into the booth. "If anything, the camera will want to take you home and have its way with you," I teased as we sat in the booth.
He chuckled reaching for his wallet, "I don't want the camera though." I looked at him and smiled. Good answer buddy, I thought smugly.
"Wait! It's only five dollars and I'm making you do it, so I'll pay," I said reaching into my bag for my wallet.
"It's our first date, I'm paying," he said with a smug smile as he put the money in the machine. I didn't even have time to register the fact that he was teasing me because I was grinning like a fool that he even said that. Suddenly the flash went off and I looked over to see Jasper didn't smile.
"Oh come on!" I laughed, as he shook his head, raising his eyebrow in determination not to smile as the next picture was taken.
I spent three more pictures trying to make him smile, finally getting him to crack on picture five by kissing his cheek. Pictures six and seven we were acting like we were mad at each other. Picture eight I gave him bunny ears while he flipped the camera the bird. Picture nine I sat in his lap while he wrapped his arms around me and smiled with his head on my shoulder. The final picture he kissed the corner of my mouth making me grin.
When we were done with the booth we got our pictures and laughed at how silly some of them looked. My eyes kept going to the last two and how happy we looked, wondering if he saw it too.
We were starting to head back to the car when we passed a vendor with handmade quilts based on famous children characters. I looked at some of the pink, frilly princess ones smiling at the vendor and complementing her on her work. I felt my body tense up when I came across the Cinderella quilt. I know it was stupid but I couldn't get past the way I felt when it came to that particular fairy tale.
I felt Jasper place his hand on my hip as he pushed me towards the end of the table. I instantly smiled and relaxed at his touch. There sitting on the edge of the table was a quilt inspired by Alice in Wonderland. Of course he'd find this one. It was beautiful with a purple base and black satin binding. The five character squares were the white rabbit, the mad hatter, the queen of hearts, that caterpillar and the Cheshire cat in the middle. As I stood there looking at the detailed work of the characters I faintly heard Jasper asking how much. I went to get my wallet out of my bag and his hand stopped mine.
"My treat," he said simply.
"Well it will look awesome in the living room." I smiled at him.
When we got to the park, we spread out the new quilt and got comfortable on it. I was just going to sit next to him but he insisted that I sit between his legs. Once I got comfortable there I smiled at how we seemed like a real couple. Which, coming from me, was a hilarious thought, since I had never been in an actual relationship.
I started to feel bad that Jasper was just sitting here in the park with me concentrating on something else so I tried to keep up a conversation with him. But he just laughed and told me he was fine. I wound up shrugging it off and got lost in the drawing I was currently doing of a couple about ten yards from us. Before I knew it Jasper and I were laughing at them as the guy tried to calm the girl down after, I guess, he touched her in a way she didn't want. I shook my head, thankful that as far as sex goes, Jasper and I were on the same page.
We never got the hot dogs we planned on, instead we headed back to the apartment for an early dinner.
I started pulling the chicken, peppers onion, and cheese out and muttered a curse under my breath. Of course Jasper heard me. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him I'd forgotten to precut the peppers and onions for dinner while he was at work. Luckily, they were easy to get into the strips I needed for the fajitas but I felt bad that I was gonna have to use the knife when he was at home. He smiled at me, again his eyes having the unknown emotion in them as he told me it was okay. He kissed my forehead before going to the living room.
Well that's progress, I thought as went to grab the knife I needed.
I tried not to laugh at him during dinner as he repeatedly complimented the fajitas. Really they're not that hard to make. I watched him as he ate, taking note of his mannerisms. Even though he seemed to be enjoying himself and our conversation, I could tell by his hands shaking and the way his leg bounced anxiously that he needed his fix.
At least you were able to make a day out of it before hand, I thought sadly.
Shortly after dinner he got ready to go wherever it was he was heading to. I tried to stay out of his way, keeping busy in the kitchen with the dishes. He came up behind me as I washed the dishes. One hand on my hip as the other one ran up my shirt, his thumb brushing the underside of my bra as he kissed at my neck.
"I'll be back tonight when you're in bed, so don't wait up," he told me. He kissed my temple. "Remember my rules."
"Seriously Jazzy, I've been here a month. Have I broken any rules yet?" I smiled at him as I tapped his nose, laughing at the soap bubbles left there. He shook his head before swatting me playfully on that ass as he left the kitchen.
"Hey Jasper?" I called out when I heard him unlock the door.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful, 'kay?" This became my standard goodbye to him as was his standard answer of, 'always am'.
The routine was back in full swing. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare and he wouldn't be there. Somehow I would find a way to get myself back to sleep and then feel his warmth as the familiar melody was hummed into my ear. Then when I awoke in the morning, he would be gone, not without leaving a note telling me as always, that he had shit to do after work.
A.K.A. I'm fucking high and avoiding you. I wasn't stupid. I knew he was avoiding me. And I wasn't sure what hurt more, that he felt he had to hide from me at his worst, or that he didn't trust me enough to let me take care of him when he came down.
Tuesday and Wednesday went by in a blur. Thursday morning I awoke to Edward in the apartment. Thank God I had enough sense to make sure I had pants on this time.
I walked into the kitchen where he was putting the groceries away.
"Good morning, Edward," I said politely.
"Morning Alice. Good to see you healthy again."
"Thanks. You know, you don't have to put the food away." I shrugged as I grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge. "I can do it."
He shrugged. "It's okay. I've been doing it for so long now it's just easier for me to do it then to try to break my routine." Yeah, I know all about that. Wonder if he's like his brother and loathes change as well. He turned to smile at me. "Thanks though."
"Oh, okay then." I leaned against the counter and ran my finger tip along the rim of the soda can. "Listen, I never said sorry for snapping at you that one night and well, I'm sorry." Even though you deserved it, I thought.
He chuckled shaking his head. "I deserved it. I should apologize too."
You think?
He turned to lean against the counter as he rubbed his hands over his face. "You seem like a nice girl...Can I ask why Jasper?"
I bit my lip. "Well..." 'Cause I think I love him? I could feel the heat rising to my face just at the thought. Could that be what I was feeling? Love? "I wouldn't know how to tell you if I could."
He loosened his tie some before folding his arms over his chest. "Try me."
I laughed, "Alright don't say I didn't warn you." Which would sound less crazy? That I was very possibly in love with his brother or that I've been drawing Jasper since my last birthday? "Being in the medical profession, surely you know about the thing shrinks call 'ghost writing'?" Apparently I'm going with that one.
He chuckled while nodding, "Yeah."
I felt my eyebrow rise at him when he started laughing. Does he already think I'm crazy? "Well, hold on," I said. Placing my unopened soda on the counter, I went to get my bag. I had left it on the dining room table when I was drawing during dinner last night. I headed back to the kitchen with my sketchbook.
"Okay well apparently I do that. But it's been dubbed as 'ghost drawing'. Honestly when I first met Jasper I didn't make the connection," I explained while thumbing through the pages for the picture I showed Jasper. "So at first, yeah I was attracted to him, but then things became clearer." I flipped the book around and handed it to him.
"Now I believe there's a reason why he and I are together, like it was predetermined ya know?"
He studied the drawing for a minute, looking from it to me and back while nodding. "Is that the only reason?" What the hell was it so hard for Edward to believe that I was not only attracted to his brother, but I felt that we had some sort of predestined shit between us?
"What do you mean?"
"Your feelings that it's predetermined, is that the only reason you're with him?" He clarified as he handed me the book back.
"Well, no I mean, I really like him Edward." I shook my head as I closed the book and set in on the counter. "It's hard to describe because I've only known him, like a little over a month, but there's this draw to him. Like when I'm with him everything in the world around me could come crashing down and as long as he isn't hurt, I could care less." Because as long as I'm with him, I'm safe, I thought as I looked down at my shoes.
"Which is stupid cause he doesn't feel the same," I shrugged at the thought.
Edward gently kicked my foot with his, making me look up at him. He had that crooked smile on his face as he asked, "What makes you think he doesn't feel the same?"
I rolled my eyes. "Come on, why would he. I'm just some kid he offered to help off the streets. Sure," I said while shrugging, "he humors me and does the 'couple' thing." I shook my head as I thought about the picture booth. "There are other reasons but I don't need to burden you with them."
"Alright Alice, listen to me okay?" I nodded.
"First, Jasper, when he humors someone, it isn't in the way you think." I felt my eyebrows furrow at that. What the hell did that mean? "Second, he's changed since you've been around. His entire face lights up around you," he said making me blush. "And he kind of gets lost with you. Third, he has never cared about someone outside of the family. Ever." He gave me a pointed look as I shook my head at him.
"That's not true. Even your dad told me he cared for Maria at some point." Shit, I didn't want to say her name. It was like Beattlejuice. Say the bitches name and she just might pop up from her coffin.
It was Edward's turn to shakes his head at me. "Not in the way that he would take her off the streets, make sure she's fed and care about her health." He shrugged. "He's usually in self defense mode, but something about you." He pointed at me to make his point. "Got to him." To say I was surprised that Edward was defending Jasper was an understatement. If anything, he made the impression that he thought lowly of his brother.
"I just don't get it," I said as I pulled myself up onto the counter. "If I affect him as much as you and Carlisle seem to think, why is he pulling away? I mean, I'm not stupid Edward, I know he's spun out his mind when he leaves me the fucking notes."
I watched as Edward chewed on his lip, thinking over what he was going to say. "He's not stupid either. He can tell if he hurts someone."
Right, then he would know that his disappearing is eating me alive, I thought bitterly.
"He gauges human emotion surprisingly well." Edward looked down as he placed his hands on either side of him on the edge of the counter. "As stupid as it sounds, he's trying to protect you. From him... he pushes himself for as long as he can to go without," he explained, bringing his eye back up to mine. "Then gorges himself on his fix."
I put my elbows on my thighs as I put my head in my hands, "I don't know what's worse. That he has to hide this part of himself or the fact that he's still fucking Maria and me."
I could hear Edward clear his throat and move around. "Umm... I wouldn't put it exactly like that." My head snapped up to look at him. He was clearly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation went.
I gave him a sad smile. "Sorry... Like I said, you didn't need to burden yourself. I have no room to talk since," I shrugged, "it's not like we're dating or anything." I slid myself off the counter, suddenly feeling like I needed to get as far away from Edward as possible. "So now that I officially made an ass of myself," I said while blushing and grabbing my sketch book. "I uh... have something to take care of..." I trailed off, knowing full and well that I was lying.
Edward grabbed my arm, spinning me to look at him. "Can you just trust me when I say that everything isn't as it appears? He's not fucking Maria, she's fucking him... does that make sense? And he's not fucking you... I think...I think he's... trying with you."
No Edward, we're fucking, I thought as I pulled my arm from his grasp.
"Considering your assumptions when we first met, I do trust you." I shook my head at the irony of that. "But again, it's not like I could ever say anything to him cause he's not mine to begin with. Thank you though, for talking with me." Again I gave him a sad smile.
He sighed, "You can be honest with him Alice." His eyes gave me a pleading look.
I just nodded and went to get my bag, "Remember to lock up when you leave?" I called out to him, laughing some as I said. Jesus Jasper. "Sorry, I don't know if he'll be home before me or not and I don't want him to be mad." I explained to Edward, even though I was sure he already knew the rules.
I could hear Edward laughing from the kitchen, "That's a new rule, but sure." His words made me turn around and face the kitchen. New?
"Wait what?" I asked.
Edward came out of the kitchen, "Does he tell you to keep the door locked?"
I nodded, "Keep it locked, no one inside except you and no calling the cops." I listed off for him.
He smirked, "I've heard the 'no one inside except for you' and the 'no cops' one, he doesn't really have anything... the 'keep the apartment locked' one is new." His eyebrows furrowed as he chewed his lip. "Either he's getting more paranoid or he suddenly thinks there's something, or someone, here worth protecting."
Someone?
Me?
I laughed, trying to ease the tension building in the pit of my stomach and to keep my heart from jumping out of my chest. Holy hell, what if he's right? What if I'm the thing he's trying to protect or sees as valuable? "Well, I know where he keeps his weed." I shrugged and smiled at Edward, "Maybe he's protecting that?" I joked.
Edward just rolled his eyes in response making me laugh again. "Well, see you Sunday?"
"Yup," he called out as he headed back into the kitchen.
---------------
I sighed as I turned the page of the book I was reading. Sometimes I really think Scarlett O'Hara was a dumb girl. I could hear the door unlock signaling Jasper's return. I glanced at the clock. It was just after ten o'clock. He's been off work almost three hours now. This I found out from Larry.
Yep, I pulled the concerned girlfriend card on Larry. I called Jasper at work, made up some excuse to see when he got off work. Luckily Larry answered the phone because he gave me the information I wanted. Not only was Jasper off at seven but he was going to hang out with him for a bit while they waited for Larry's wife to get off work.
I glanced up over the book just as Jasper entered the room. He didn't smile at me, not that I was expecting it. He was probably upset that I called his work, but damn it I missed him.
Way to sound obsessed Mary Alice, I scolded myself.
If anything, Jasper looked annoyed, yet worried. I wondered if Edward called him and warned him that I had talked to him about Maria. Either way it didn't matter. I wanted Jasper to know the truth. That I want a definition as to what we are and why he leaves. I don't care that he uses the drugs. I was certain he knew that by now. But what I did care about was why was he going to Maria? Clearly she was no good for him.
Finally he gave me a tight lipped smile as he reached the dresser and began to remove items from his pocket. I pretended to be absorbed in Scarlett's narcissistic ways as I mentally listed off what he removed from his pockets.
When I saw the foil wrappers laying next to his keys and supply for his next fix, I felt a surge of jealousy wash through me.
"I gotta shower," he said suddenly, making my head snap in his direction. He stood in the doorway with a change of clothes, watching me. His eyes narrowed slightly as anger flashed over his features but was washed away and replaced with worry. Quickly he headed to the bathroom.
Against my own will, my body went to the dresser. I inspected the foil wrappers. Condoms.
Well at least he wraps his shit up, I thought momentarily.
I could feel the warmth of tears hang on my eyelashes as I stared at the one wrapper that confirmed everything for me.
He didn't need me like I needed him. He had other outlets and he was with her tonight.
I climbed back on the bed, quickly wiping my eyes and waited for Jasper to return.
Shortly he came in, climbing his way up the bed towards me. His eyes half lidded as he smirked at me. I bit my lip, wondering what my next move was going to be. I had to let him know how I felt, right? I mean, he had a right to know that I felt we were more than roommates with benefits right?
As he got closer, I felt my stomach drop. His smirk got more pronounced as the dimple of his left side showed. I wanted to cry at that moment. He was so devastatingly beautiful that I was afraid by being honest with him was going to ruin everything. Could I really go on without his touch? Without his lips on my body? And most importantly, without him?
"You can be honest with him, Alice." Edward's previous statement rang through my ears.
"Hey pretty lady need a sleeping pill? I can help." His voice was thick with his accent and the lust that emanated from him.
I shook my head and looked directly ahead of me, avoiding his gaze, "We need to talk."
I saw his face fall out of the corner of my eye as he collapsed onto the bed next to me. "Okay."
"I don't really know where to start so I'm just gonna say the one thing that's eating at me the most, okay?" I asked looking at him. He nodded as he swallowed.
I took a deep breath to prepare myself. Now or never Alice, I reminded myself. "Are you fucking Maria?
His eyes got wide and he sat up straighter. Yeah, thanks for confirming that.
"Sometimes."
I closed my eyes, laying my head back against the headboard. "Have you been fucking her since you met me?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Oh God," I whispered as I got up off the bed, turning to face him. "So is that where you go? When you disappear cause you got shit to do?"
He finally moved to the foot of the bed, where I was now pacing. "Not all the time... actually, not very often anymore." I looked at him to see him looking my face.
"Where do you go Jasper? Why do you feel like you need to leave? This is your home not mine! If you don't want me here when you're spun out, just tell me to leave and I'll go for however long you need to be alone." But please stop, I begged in my head.
"I don't want you to leave," he said softly. "I go here and there, mostly hang with Larry. I can't do things to you, hurt you like I did that time okay?" I could see the hurt in his eyes as he tried to explain it to me. "I just couldn't live with myself if I hurt you like that again."
I walked over to the dresser and snatched up the open condom wrapper. "So answer me this Jasper, is it better for me to think that you want to be with me? Or is it better that I freak out thinking you're in a ditch somewhere or even worse fucking Maria?" I spat at him as I threw the condom wrapper at him. "Do you think making me feel like I'm not what you need or what you want, doesn't hurt? That you chose to fuck her over me, doesn't break me? Because guess what, it fucking does!"
He rubbed his face roughly. Yeah I'm not stupid Jasper I know you're fucking around, I yelled in my head.
"And what if I'm not fucking Maria? I always tell you I'm gonna be fine. Fuck Alice! Larry's wife deals with what we do, why can't you?"
"Just because you say you're gonna be fine does not make it so." What if he was to get some bad shit? Didn't he know that could fucking kill him, kill me?
Wait, if he's not fucking Maria...
I felt my eyes widen as I understood the implication of his question. "So there are more girls?" I asked even though I was afraid to know the answer.
"They don't mean anything though..." He sounded like he was pleading with me.
"It doesn't matter Jasper! I worry about you okay. I kinda have to when I wind up drawing some of the most fucked up shit I've ever seen!" I started pacing again, needing to keep myself occupied so I didn't A - slap the shit out of him, B - throw something or C - look at him and lose my courage.
"Why them? Why do you have to go to them?" What am I doing wrong that he feels like he has to go elsewhere? I thought he was happy with me. I stopped to look at him. "Am I not good enough?" I asked softly, feeling the tears pricking my eyes.
He rubbed a hand over his face again, before raking in through his hair. "You're always good enough. Jesus Christ, doesn't it matter at all that I am trying so hard not to fucking hurt you again?! I washed blood out of my fucking comforter from the last time. Blood Alice, that's how bad I hurt you, and I fucking called you things..." It was only the drugs talking, I wanted to tell him. He shook his head, "I am a really bad man, can't you see that? I am selfish 'cause I still want you here, I'd rather you see the good side of me so you don't run away."
I do see the good side Jasper.
"Did I ever say you hurt me?" Sure I was sore after sex, but it was worth it.
"No, but, I fucking know I did. And that pisses me off more 'cause I can't trust you to tell me when I did!"
"Because you didn't fucking hurt me Jasper! If you did, guess what I didn't feel it!" I yelled at him. "I would tell you if you hurt me. Fuck, why do you think I even brought up Maria and you leaving? Because that shit hurts more. I know I may not be your wife, or your girlfriend or whatever fucking label you want to put on us." I folded my arms over my chest daring him to look at me. "You know what would hurt less? If you fucking hit me!" I spat at him as his eyes locked with mine, "Cause at least I can recover from that shit."
He let out a heavy sigh as he shook his head, "You know you're a fucking hypocrite right?"
"Really," I could hear my voice get cocky, but I was beyond caring. "Enlighten me, Jasper."
His eyes narrowed, his normal bright green eyes turning dark with anger, "You go out and offer your mouth and body to the highest bidder... You even let them fucking hit you!" He snarled at me through clenched teeth. "And you probably fucking kiss them too!"
What the hell?
"You don't think that shit hurts me?" He asked, hitting his chest to emphasize his point. "You don't think when you turn your cheek it doesn't stab at my ego a little? I normally wouldn't give two shits about it but with you I fucking care and that shit confuses the hell out of me but I just wanna go with it." He confessed.
"Felix? If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have had the money that day to meet you!" I shouted dropping my hands to my side. "And eww! I don't let just anyone kiss me Jasper. The fucker who made me associate pain with kissing was my step-brother." I confessed unable to hold back the tears. "He convinced me that I loved him and would beat the fuck out of me AFTER he kissed me or after he fucked me!"
"And you know what, FUCK YOU! You knew what you were getting into when it came to me! You knew what I do! And you know what? If you were to tell me right here and now to stop, I would because I would do fucking anything for you!"
His brow knitted together, "What? I didn't know!" Wait was he serious? His eyes got wide, "I thought you were some street kid, I fucking thought you stole the god damned money. I didn't figure out what the fuck you were until you wouldn't kiss me!" He paused for a moment looking down at his hands as they clenched and unclenched. Any other person would have run by now, thinking this man, who was at least twice their size, was going to strike them. Especially coming off his high like he was. But, I stood firm as he collected his thought. I don't care how many times I can blame the drugs for the way he acts. I knew in my heart that he wouldn't dare raise a hand to me.
"And what would you do huh?" he asked, bringing my attention back to his face. "If I told you to stop? Use that shit against me too? Throw that shit in my face?"
"Fuck you too! You know what I am," he said as he shook his head. He had a smirk on his face that would have made The Joker cower in fear of him. "I know my mom told you what I do and you..." He pointed at me. "Stayed... You could've left, but you didn't. But now you want to confront me?" Disbelief crossed his features, "I have always been nice to you Alice, I fucking lo – care about you. And having some asshole toss you around like a rag doll pisses me off."
He brought his hands to his hair and he pulled on it slightly before slapping them to his thighs. "How much do you want?" he asked.
"Okay first off, like I said, if you wanted me to stop, I would. I don't even like doing that shit anyway. I only did what I fucking could to survive. Secondly, I didn't fucking leave because I care too fucking much! But every time you tell me that you're working late or you've got shit to do it hurts..." I trailed off.
Oh hell no! Did he ask to pay me off?!
"I don't want your fucking money, Jackass," I snarled at him, turning to leave the room. He grabbed my arm, pulling me back towards him and shoving me onto the bed.
"I'm not throwing that shit in your face. What the fuck do you want from me Alice? Huh?!" He asked leaning over me.
I looked up at the ceiling as the tears fell. I couldn't look at him. I hated this, us fighting. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him and tell him that I loved him, that I was never gonna leave him.
"What I fucking want Jasper, is you, all of you. Don't you fucking getting it Jasper? I want you and every fucking thing that comes with it. I want you to fucking trust me enough that you don't have to run off and hide from me!" My voice cracked towards the end as I covered my face with my hands.
I felt the mattress shift as he sat up. "You have all of me Alice! You're in my fucking head! I swear to God, there is not a god damned minute that passes that I don't fucking think about you! Unfortunately you got your wish. You have all of me and excuse me for thinking that you would rather me come down elsewhere 'cause I saw the fucking tears from the last time I was around you when I was coming down." I moved my hands from my face to look at him. Staring at the back of his head
"Other girls, I don't care if I fucking hit it too hard. I don't care if I call them a whore or a slut or a cum bag." He looked back at me. Now I felt like a fucking fool. This was hurting him just as much as me. "I care about saying shit like that to you, I don't fucking want to!" he seethed. His face softened as his eyes darted around my face. He turned his back to me again as he buried his face in his hands. "And see you're crying again." He said in a defeated tone.
I looked back up at the ceiling, "I'm crying because I'm falling in love with you and it scares the shit out of me. I cried last time because I wasn't prepared for this." I waved my hand in his direction. "Your coming down. Sorry, the only fucking addicts I've been around were stoners." I chuckled darkly when I thought back to the last time I was near him when he was crashing. "Sure, when you called me a kid it hurt, but it wasn't a lie. If I wasn't so fucking childish we would be fucking right now not fighting over some bullshit that I have no right be upset about because you're not fucking mine." The tears fell out faster as I admitted that to him out loud. It hurt more to say it then think it.
He laid down next to me, pulling him closer to him. "Please just stop, I really can't take this right now okay? Not from you, stop crying." he pleaded as he wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. "I can't promise you anything okay? Well, maybe one thing, I promise I won't see the other girls, I'll try to cut Maria out but she's a vindictive bitch, so... just please stop crying." He pressed his lips to my head. "And I am yours." he whispered.
I moved my body around so I could wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I am. I just want..." I couldn't even bring myself to tell him what I wanted from us, so I shook my head instead. "Never mind. I'm sorry Jazzy."
"Tell me what you want. Please?" he asked as he brushed the hair out of my face.
I laughed and hid my face in his chest, inhaling deeply. "It's childish," I mumbled against the fabric of his undershirt.
His hand slid up the back of my shirt as his fingers gently ran up and down the expanse of my back. I felt myself instantly relaxing into his touch. "Please?" he asked again.
I rolled off of him and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I propped myself up on my hand. "I want to know what we are. I mean are we roommates with benefits? Friends with benefits? What? I mean this is so fucking confusing." Understatement of the fucking century there.
He moved to lie on his side, his body mimicking mine as he took a deep breath. "Well, I would automatically say we're together, but you haven't kissed me," he smirked a bit. "What do you want us to be?"
I bit back a smile, I wanted to scream at him that I wanted to be his girlfriend! "I want us to be 'us', you know the whole..." I pointed to him, "boyfriend and," I pointed to myself, "girlfriend thing...." I trailed off, praying to whoever answered prayers that he understood what I wanted.
He tried to hide the huge grin on his face by biting his bottom lip, but failed miserably. "Anything you want... but I hope you realize, I am really gonna bug you for kisses now." How silly that he felt that he needed to warn me, I expected it. He leaned closer as his lips kissed my cheek and then my jaw.
I sat up some, grabbing his face between my hands. Slowly I brought my face to his watching as his eyes lit up in anticipation. Gently I brushed my lips against his only to quickly pull back smirking at him. "Like that?" I teased.
He laid there for a minute, grinning like a fool before he pulled himself up some, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Quickly my eyes danced along the expanse of his chest and stomach, taking inventory of the scars that were in various sizes and ranging from white and pink against him. I brought my eyes to his, smiling. He trusted me.
"Nah..." he said as he cupped my face in his hand, bringing his lips to mine. I always thought his mouth was uneven but beautiful and this moment I understood why. Because as our lips met it was like a key to a lock, fitting perfectly together. I felt him suck my bottom lip into his mouth causing to gasps as he pulled back. "Like that."
I smiled at him as my fingers danced along his stomach and chest. His muscles twitching at my touch. And his scars even though you could see them, I didn't see them as something horrible but as something that made my Jasper who he was. I never took my eyes off of his. I wanted him to know that he could trust me with this. "Thank you," I told him, thanking him for trusting me enough to show me this side of himself.
He moved us on the bed so that I was lying under him as he kissed me again, this time applying a little more pressure behind it. "Shit, my heart is gonna hammer out of my chest..." he laughed nervously, chewing his lip as he thought of something.
He moved my hands to his back, were I ran them up and down it, moving to his side and back up his back. "Can you feel them?" He whispered in my ear. I could hear the insecurity in his voice.
I moved my head so that we were face to face again as I looked into his eyes. "All I feel is you Jasper," I smiled at him.
He brushed some hair behind my ear, his eyes searching mine for something. "I'm in love with you Alice," he confessed before kissing me. When he pulled back I was about to tell him that I loved him too but felt a yawn trying to escape, so slapped my hand to mouth as I yawned, giggling afterwards at the awful timing.
He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Well you should go to bed."
"I'm only gonna go to bed if you're gonna go with me. But I have something really important to tell you first. And it's secret." I smirked at him as he moved the collar of his shirt I was wearing so he could kiss my shoulder.
Why the fuck is he kissing me there?
"And what is this secret?" he asked looking up at me
I wrapped my arms around his neck, locking my fingers together, refusing to let him go. "That I'm in love with you too Jasper." I smiled at him. This time his smile reached his eyes as he kissed me again. At first it was a simple kiss, but I wanted more. I ran my fingers through his hair, crushing our lips together. His tongue teased the crease where my lips met making me gasp as he slowly coaxed mine to meet his.
I smiled against his lips. He picks me after all.
A/N
You know the drill... Like it? Hate it? Let us know... Cause reviews are better then showing the one you love you trust them (well okay maybe not, but pretty darn close!)