Disclaimer:Code Geass and Warhammer 40k belong to other people.
Time Warped, Part II: The Massacre Princess
"I think we broke him…" one of the Raiders casually remarked as Suzaku sank to his knees, curled into a ball, and began rocking back and forth.
"Fif…fifty-first mi…millennium?" Kallen sputtered.
"Yes, General Kozuki," another Raider confirmed.
"So…2017 a.t.b.," Lieutenant Evadne addressed her squad, "The Black Knights…well, our version of them…won't be founded for another coupla thousand years…"
"Don't think modern Knightmares are invented yet, either," a Raider added.
"Is Mt. Fuji still in one piece?" the Lieutenant turned to face Lelouch, who could only mutely nod.
"Damn, Zero's not even taken over Terra the first time around yet…"
"Wait…we're back in the First Black Rebellion!" comprehension finally dawned upon the heavily-armed squad.
"Fi…First?" Suzaku squeaked out.
"Hey, if this is the First Black Rebellion, you guys reckon the Massacre Princess still has her mortal body?"
That did it. The nickname snapped Suzaku out of his trance, and he immediately tackled the offending Raider. More accurately, he tried to, and quickly realized he was no match for two tons of Knightmare and wearer.
"We're talking about Princess Euphemia? As in Bloodstained Euphemia? As in the Euphinator?" Lelouch visibly bristled with each title.
Anger turned to puzzlement as the two revolutionaries and one Honorary Britannian realized the Raiders' voices were not contemptuous, but rather starstruck.
"Oh, that's right…this is before 'that' happens," one of the Raiders finally realized, "A good couple of thousand years before, I think. Wasn't it Psychic Special Warfare that gave that report?"
"I think so…though if we're in the First Black Rebellion…"
"Ah, the SAZ Massacre," Delia concluded, "Classified as an 'Especially Slow Tuesday' in terms of actual death toll, whatever the hell a 'Tuesday' is."
Kallen pinched herself. She would be lying if she said that seeing somebody take the Lancelot's pilot down without blinking wasn't amusing, but her hallucinations were turning into nightmares. There was no way these people would classify somebody trying to kill all the Japanese as "an especially slow Tuesday."
"I suspect we already have done irrevocable damage to the time stream, so gather round and let us tell the tale of the Massacre Princess in the fifty-first millennium. So it began on an Ice World undergoing Exterminatus…"
Unfortunately, a massive Knightmare battle began raging outside the cave at that very moment, drowning out the Raider's words with gunfire and colliding metal. The semi-unwilling audience began to recoil in horror, as they still stood close enough to hear the tale.
"…never knew you could do that with a Warscythe…"
The remnants of Schneizel's fleet joined the rapidly-expanding melee. Airships pulled up next to one another, exchanging cannon fire and boarding teams as flaming hulks crashed into the ocean below.
"…with his lymphatic system…"
Having exhausted the majority of their ammunition, the Burais and Sutherlands began engaging in hand-to-hand combat. Meanwhile in the cave, all three onlookers visibly paled.
"…an avocado hat…"
A contingent of EU Knightmares, displaced in time and space by the irrevocable damage done to the universe by the current explanation of events, joined in.
"...cocktail wieners and a salad fork…"
The wreckage of Knightmares and airships choked the surrounding waters, and the slick of machine oil threatened to ignite at any moment.
"…and three jars of peanut butter!" the Raider proudly concluded, with his squad nodding enthusiastically in support.
Suzaku looked shell shocked, Kallen was hyperventilating, and Lelouch was barely holding back a retch.
"How many tassels?" Lelouch muttered.
"…never looking at green peppers the same way ever again," Kallen swore.
"With the moon?" Suzaku choked out.
A/N: So it seems a few people are speculating as to Euphemia's exact nature in the Code Geass 50k timeline. Well, the answers are certainly not here, but I've sprinkled a few foundational pieces in the main story.