Wow! It's been a while guys I am so sorry! This update has been a struggle I must admit but I got there with lots of help from the wonderful amethystsea, she has helped me so much on understanding treatment facilities, drug problems, I owe her a HUGE thank you! :) This is a long update so be warned, no smut (shock horror!) but this is quite deep, I hope you enjoy and I hope it's as real as it could be, thank you :)

Chapter Ten

'Please Josh, help me.'

He'd been waiting to hear his little brother say those words for such a long time, he'd convinced himself over the past couple of months that the next time he saw Jake it would be to identify his body. Having his little brother here, still alive, hearing those words, hearing and seeing the emotion as he spoke, he knew that finally, the person sitting in front of him was the Jake that he'd known, fought with and loved for so many years.

Fighting back tears that were threatening to fall he bit down hard on his lip and walked over to the bench where Jake was sitting. He sat down beside him and lightly patted his back, they'd never been good with hugging or shit like that but right now he wanted to hug him to death for finally seeing sense.

'You know I'll help you, dad, Shannon, Caitlin, we'll ALL help you through this Jake,' his voice shook as he tried desperately to hold himself together, he had to be the strong one now, if Jake was going to get through this he needed a big, tough older brother to see him through to the other side.

'I know I don't deserve it Josh, not after all the shit I've put you through, I've put dad through…Caitlin, a fucking thirteen year old kid, has more sense than I do, how the fuck did it come to this, huh?' Jake looked at his brother who shook his head, he'd seen his brothers experiments with drugs as just a passing faze, just like his own, he would always regret not stepping in sooner and maybe preventing Jake from going so far.

'You were young when the show started, as soon as your face appeared on TV all those fucking dumbasses came into your life, people who wanted to spend your money and party with you without paying a fucking dime, I didn't think things would get this bad Jake, if I'd known…'

'Nah Josh, this ain't your fault,' Jake fiercely shook his head and got up from the bench, 'I know I've blamed you, it was easier to blame anyone but myself. You, dad, mom, okay life hasn't exactly been a fucking breeze but I was the one that chose this path, look at you, you have this place, a fiancé, a daughter, if I'd stayed straight maybe I would have the same thing right now.'

'You're twenty five years old Jake, you have plenty of time to get your shit together and have this kind of life for yourself. Fuck Shannon didn't come back till I was two years older than you are right now! You know once you get clean dad will have you back on the boat, you'll start earning money again, you'll get yourself back on your feet in time, you can put all this shit behind you and start again,' Josh offered his brother some encouragement which he clearly needed, if Jake was going to make it through he needed to put the past few years to rest for good, all of them needed to do the same thing so that they could move on, together.

'None of the guys would wanna work with me after some of the shit I've done,' Jake scoffed, in his sober frame of mind so many different things started to seep into his head, he'd said and done some awful fucking things, not only to his own family, but to people he'd once considered his second family.

'Jesus Jake are you kidding? Nearly every fucking guy out there has had problems with drugs, alcohol, gambling. ALL of us have said and done stupid fucking things, everyone deserves a second chance, you get clean and you get yours! Don't start trying to talk yourself out of this before we've even got you a place somewhere, please Jake,' Josh got up off the bench and stepped towards his brother who immediately turned to face him.

The sadness, the hurt, the pain, it was all so clear on his older brother's face and he knew that he was responsible for it all and as much as they fought, argued and acted like assholes towards each other at times, it broke a part of his heart to know that he had done this to someone, though he'd never admit it out loud, he'd looked up to all his life.

'I promise you I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get clean, I'm gonna sort all my shit out and I'm gonna come back here and be a part of this family again, I don't wanna live like this anymore, I don't, I don't,' before he could stop them the tears started to flow again as his fragile mind and body began to collapse around him.

'Come on,' Josh immediately wrapped one of his arms around his little brother as he could see just how unsteady he was, withdrawal symptoms were going to hit him hard and he had to start making arrangements to get him to rehab before the worst effects began to hit him.

Shannon's POV

'What the hell is going on down here?' Shannon had just sat a still crying Caitlin down on the couch as Louise came into the lounge.

'Jake came out to talk to us…..' Katie looked between her and Louise, she was scared and nervous but Shannon needed to know what had happened.

'Tell us what happened Katie,' Louise said before Shannon had the chance to speak.

'No, I'll tell you what happened,' Caitlin suddenly spoke up, she wiped her eyes with her hands and looked at Shannon who in turn took one of her hands and held it.

'We, we were talking about this stupid party that some older kids are having this afternoon, we weren't gonna go though were we?' Caitlin looked towards Katie who immediately shook her head, Shannon guessed that they were lying but right now some dumb party was the least of her worries.

'Jake heard us talking and he came out of the kitchen and started to try and lecture us about drinking, partying…I just told him a few things I shouldn't have, like how dad and grandpa are sad because of him, they are sad because of him though, I know they are!' Caitlin choked a little and Shannon wrapped her arms around her.

'Oh Caitlin, don't get upset, you haven't done anything wrong….'

'I just, I just don't get it mom! Why would someone wanna make themselves sick? I hated being sick! I hated being stuck in hospital not being able to get out of bed to even go to the toilet!' Caitlin began to cry again and Shannon held back her own tears to try and remain strong for her little girl.

Seeing Jake as sick as he was had brought back some awful memories for her baby and she felt responsible. She could have just taken him to a hotel for the night, that way none of this would be happening right now.

It took a few minutes for Caitlin to calm down and stop crying, Shannon was about to speak when Josh came into the room carrying a deathly pale Jake with him.

'We need to sit him down and get him some water and something to eat,' Shannon got to her feet and Caitlin did the same thing so Jake could lie down on the couch.

'Do you want me to take the girls home with me?' Louise spoke up as Josh fussed over his brother before Shannon could answer Caitlin spoke for herself.

'No, I'm staying here,' she shook her head and gripped Shannon's hand, as much as Shannon did not want Caitlin to be around Jake a little voice in the back of her head told her not to argue, maybe seeing Jake in this state would prevent her from following a similar path in the future?

'You take Katie home, we'll be fine,' Shannon formed a little smile as Katie walked over to her mother, Louise smiled back and mouthed 'call me' before she started to make her way out of the lounge. Once they had left her attention went back to Jake and Josh.

'Maybe we should take him to the hospital? He doesn't look good Josh,' Shannon spoke up as Josh got up off his knees and smiled at her, it was a pretty weird time to be smiling.

'He's going to rehab, someone managed to do the impossible,' Josh looked at his daughter who smiled back at him. 'I'm gonna start calling places to see if we can get him in somewhere today, the withdrawals are starting already so we need to get something sorted out, can you make him something to eat?'

'I'll stay with Uncle Jake,' Caitlin announced as she let go of her mother's hand and went over to the couch where Jake was mumbling something that couldn't be made out. 'It'll be okay, we're all gonna help you Uncle Jake.'

Shannon and Josh both looked at their daughter with a tremendous amount of pride and love. She had an old head on young shoulders, suffering from cancer and learning about death at such a young age had seen to that. A lot of kids her age wouldn't be able to cope with what was going on but she could, she was special.

'You get on the phone, I think it might be best to start with your dad, he needs to know what's going on so he can come home,' Shannon finally broke the silence to talk to Josh. Phil needed to be here and maybe, with his connections, he could find somewhere for Jake to go.

Josh nodded before he went over to the couch to kiss Caitlin's head. 'If anything happens, yell for me and I'll be here okay?' Caitlin nodded at her dad before he disappeared into the hallway to start making calls.

'I'm gonna make some soup for you Jake, you need to eat something,' Shannon didn't think that making him a huge meal would be a good idea considering how sick he looked. Until he could start getting medical help all she could do was try to keep him comfortable until Josh could find somewhere for him to go.

'Thanks Shannon, after some of the things I've done…'

'None of that matters anymore Jake, you're getting help, that's all any of us ever wanted,' she smiled softly as Jake met her gaze, all of a sudden she could see the young boy that she'd once known again and for some reason, she just knew that things were going to be okay.

'Dad? Dad can you hear me?' Josh hollered down the phone as loud music and background noise filtered through the speaker. His dad was obviously in a bar or restaurant, he didn't really care where he was, he just needed him to take this call and listen to what he had to say. 'Dad for fuck sake just go outside!'

'You don't need to fucking shout at me Joshua! I'm headin' out now, this better be good!' His dad yelled back at him over the noise, Josh didn't know how the fuck he could even hear him, then again his dad always seemed to have a way of fucking hearing everything, he'd caught him sneaking out enough times to know that his father had superhuman hearing powers or something.

'There, I'm outside so what the fuck is going on?' Phil hollered down the phone as Josh took a deep breathe.

'Jake's at my place right now and to cut a long story short, he's ready to go to rehab,' there was no point in going into great detail about what had happened right now, he could do that once his dad came home, all he needed to know was that Jake was ready to get help.

'I'll call Delta right now and see if I can change my flight, I could be home in a few hours….'

'Dad we need to get him into rehab now, he's already starting to withdraw from whatever shit he's been taking and the longer we leave it the more tempted he'll be to run and go buy some more shit that he can take, is there anyone you can call to try and get him in somewhere like right now?' He sighed, hoping that his dad could think of something, there were only a couple of inpatient rehab centres in Seattle, if there was nothing available in them he'd have to start looking further afield and the further the treatment place was from them the more time Jake would have to cope with his symptoms without help.

'A friend of a friend knows some chick that works over at that Lakeside Rehab place, it's a long shot….'

'Well it's the only one we've got, you call your friend and I'll call the airline and see if I can get you on the next flight…'

'That won't work, they won't talk to you about my ticket you know what these fucking airlines are like. You sit tight and keep an eye on Jake, I'll call Carl and see if we can get something sorted out then I'll call the airline, I'll call you back as soon as I got some news,' just like that, Josh heard his dad end the call, he was now in full papa bear mode and he was sure that his dad could sort something out, he could get candy from a baby with his baby blue eyes and sweet talking ways.

'Uncle Jake? You don't look so good…..' Caitlin had kept her eyes on her uncle ever since she'd been left alone with him, he'd looked pretty pale before but now he was turning grey.

'I think I'm gonna puke…' Jake said between breathes as he tried to prevent himself from being sick, he didn't want his niece to see him like this, she was too young to be going through shit like this with him.

'Hold on I'll go get a bowl!' Caitlin quickly got up from the couch and burst out of the longue, nearly knocking Josh on his feet in the process.

Josh ran into the longue in time to see Jake vomiting into one of the vases that sat on the fireplace.

'I found o…..Oh, too late,' Caitlin came running back into the room with a bowl in her hands just as Jake began vomiting again.

All that Josh could do was pat his brother on the back and hope to fucking God that his dad had managed to sweet talk someone into getting Jake a place at the Lakeside Clinic, if he couldn't then they were going to have a very rough day and night ahead of them.

'Caitlin honey, are you sure you wanna stay here? Mom can call Louise and ask her to come back for you,' he said to her as she handed an empty white bowl over to him which Josh promptly placed on top of the vase to prevent even more vomit entering it. It was hard enough for him to deal with seeing Jake like this and he knew that things were going to get worse, he didn't really want his child to see her uncle like this.

'Dad I'm fine, I want to be here, I know what it's like to be really really sick, I know this is different but he needs people around him just like I did when I was in hospital,' his heart was fit to burst with the amount of pride and love that he felt for his little girl in that moment, if he was never going to achieve anything else in his life at least he could say he'd helped to create a wonderful human being.

'Can you go tell mom to forget about the soup? I don't think he's gonna be able to eat anything,' Caitlin nodded as Jake continued to heave over the bowl that Josh had put in front of him.

Josh patted him on the back and offered a few words of encouragement, he felt like a spare part because he didn't really know what he could say or do to make this any easier for his younger brother. He needed help, professional help to make this a little better for him, he just hoped that his dad could do something otherwise he'd have to take him to the Emergency Room and hope that they could give him something to make this better for him.

'Mom forget about the soup, Uncle Jake's not going to be able to eat it, he puked in your favourite vase,' Shannon had just been about to open up a can of soup that she'd dug around in the cupboards to find when Caitlin came into the kitchen.

'I'll get him some water, if he can't eat he at least needs to keep his fluid levels up,' she could feel herself beginning to panic a little, she'd not seen anyone go through withdrawal first hand but she had seen enough programmes about it to know that it wasn't a pleasant experience. Jake needed to be somewhere he could be looked after by professionals, her limited knowledge on the subject would not be enough to help him and keep him going for very long, the temptation for him to go out and buy drugs was going to increase every minute that they waited to find somewhere for him to go.

She pulled a large bottle of water out of the fridge and picked up a glass from the cupboard before she followed her daughter down the hallway and into the lounge in time to see Josh helping a grey coloured Jake onto the sofa.

'I'm ffreezing,' Jake shivered as he took a seat on the couch, setting the puke filled bowl in his lap, as much as he wanted to lie down he knew it was best to remain upright in case he had to puke again.

'I'll go get some blankets,' Shannon put the bottle of water and glass down on the table in front of Jake before she hurried upstairs to find him some blankets to keep him warm.

'It'll be okay Uncle Jake,' Caitlin took a seat next to her Uncle and took one of his freezing cold hands in hers. It was a small gesture but to Jake it meant the world.

Josh started to pace around the living room, he didn't know what to do for the best, he could see that his little brother was suffering and he wanted to make it stop but he couldn't, he had to go through this pain to make it out the other side but that didn't stop him from wanting to swap places with him, Jake looked so frail and vulnerable, he was strong and tough, he could take the effects of withdrawal and he was beginning to worry that his little brother might not be able to cope for much longer.

He had been about to try calling his dad again when Shannon appeared back in the room carrying a huge blanket in her arms, he went over to help her unfold it and place it around Jake's shivering body, both he and Shannon exchanged nervous glances after they'd wrapped him up in the blanket, pulling her to one side Josh explained that he was waiting for his dad to call back.

'What if this doesn't work out and your dad can't do anything? We need to have a back-up plan Josh…..'

'The only back up plan I have is to take him to the ER and hope that they can sort something out for him, I just don't know Shannon, I haven't been through this shit before,' Josh tried to remain calm, Shannon was right, they did need a back-up plan but going to the ER was the only plan that he had. He certainly was not hitting the streets to get Jake more drugs to tide him over until they could get him help, no fucking way.

Just as she was about to offer Josh some form of comfort his cell began to ring. He answered the call straightaway, hoping that his dad had some good news.

'So what's the score?' Josh said as he began to walk out of the room.

'You can take him to the Lakeside clinic right away, I managed to talk to the woman that runs the place, turns out she's a big fan of the show so I offered to take her out for dinner, it did the trick,' Josh couldn't help but laugh, it was typical that his old man would manage to charm his way into getting what he wanted.

'And what about your flight?' Josh asked, he wanted his dad home as soon as possible.

'I'm booked on the 1.30 flight now, I'll call when I land so one of you can come pick me up. Can I talk to Jake? I won't get to see him once he's in the recovery centre,' Josh could hear the sadness in his voice, any father would want to see their child before they entered a rehab programme but he knew that they needed to get Jake there right away, waiting a few more hours would be too much considering the state he was in right now.

Walking back into the lounge Josh held his hand over the speaker and asked Jake if he was well enough to speak to their dad, he looked a little afraid but nodded his head, he had to speak to his father at some point after all.

Handing the phone over to Jake Josh then bent down a little so he could give his daughter a hug, a hug which he needed now more than ever.

'Dad? Thank you for helping me, I'm so sorry…..' Jake's voice broke as tears began to run down his cheeks, he didn't know where to begin, he had fucked up so much, he was so lucky that any of his family still wanted anything to do with him after all the shit he'd put them through.

'You don't need to thank me and you don't need to say sorry, I'm really fucking proud of you for doing this Jake, this is gonna be the toughest thing you've ever done in your fucking life but I know you can do it, you can do anything. I just want you to get better, we all want you to get better. I know I don't say it enough but I really love you son,' Jake's emotions completely overwhelmed him as he started to cry even harder, taking the phone out of his hands, Josh spoke to his dad once again.

'He's a little upset dad but he'll be okay, he'll be annoying your ass again soon, you know it,' Josh tried to add a little humour into the mix but he could hear that his dad was just as choked up as his brother was. 'I'd better head off, the sooner we get him to rehab the better, I love you pops, see you soon.'

'Love you too kiddo,' Josh ended the call and immediately went to pull Jake into a hug, Caitlin joined them in a mini group hug then Shannon did the same, it was like a mini therapy session was going on in their lounge.

After a few minutes Josh pulled away from the embrace, Jake needed to get to Lakeside as soon as possible but before that could happen he had to pack some things for him to take with him.

'I'll go get some clothes and stuff for you to take with you then we'll go, the sooner you get there the better,' Josh smiled before he disappeared out of the room to go upstairs and pack for his little brother.

Jake, Caitlin and Shannon remained in the lounge waiting for Josh to reappear, each minute that passed Jake could feel his nerve beginning to leave, could he really do this? Maybe he wasn't strong enough to give up the drugs that he'd become so used to taking day after day, hour after hour, this could be the last time he set eyes on his family, he might never see his dad again, did he really want to take that chance?

Shannon kept her eyes firmly fixed upon Jake, he wasn't saying anything but she could tell that he was lost in thought. Now that he knew he had a place in rehab she wondered whether he was having second thoughts, it wouldn't be a surprise to her if he was, just a couple of hours ago he was going to leave and go back out on the streets now he was headed to rehab to get his life together, he'd begun to experience what the next few days were going to be life as he went through the process of withdrawal, it wasn't going to be pretty.

'Okay I put in a few shirts, trousers, pants, socks, a couple of hoodies and put a bag full of toiletries in there too, have I forgotten anything?' Josh announced as he came back into the room slightly breathless from hurrying to pack up a few things that Jake would need whilst he was away.

Jake immediately turned around when he heard his voice and Josh had never seen him look so scared before, not even the Bering Sea made him look as terrified as he did right now.

'I…I don't know iiff I can ddoo thiss,' Jake stuttered as he took his eyes away from Josh, he was too ashamed to look at his older, stronger brother.

'You CAN do this Jake, you're a lot stronger than you think you are,' Shannon instinctively took one of his thin hands in hers and smiled softly, shouting at him was not the way to go, who wouldn't be scared about something as huge as this? 'I know that we haven't really got to know each other since I've been back but I remember how strong you were when we were younger, you used to go toe to toe with Josh and even though he was bigger you never backed down…'

'I'm not that ppersson now!' Jake let out a cry of frustration, even if he did manage to get off the drugs how could he suddenly make all the things that he'd done to those closest to him right again? How could he not be tempted to fall back into his old habits because being a fishermen meant that getting his hands on drugs would never be a problem, how could he cope with the temptation not to use ever again?

'That person is still there Jake, he might be buried deep down below the surface but he IS there, I know he is, we all know he is! You're talking as if your life is over and it's not! This is a new chapter for you, a new chapter for all of us. The past, it doesn't matter anymore, what matters is that you find the strength to walk out of that door and face your fears, this is the hardest part and you can do it, we all know you can Jake,' Shannon stood up in front of him and held her hands out to him, it was now or never, the longer they waited the more difficult it would be for Jake to leave, he had to make his decision now.

Jake placed his head in his hands and tried to clear his mind as different scenarios played out in his head, some were good, some were bad. He felt an arm on his shoulder and looked up to see Josh standing alongside Shannon, he was holding out a hand as Shannon continued to hold out one of hers. He jumped a little when he felt a kiss being placed on his cheek, he'd almost forgotten that Caitlin was still sitting next to him on the couch, she'd been so quiet, he'd probably terrified the poor kid.

'You'll be okay Uncle Jake, if I can beat cancer you can beat this, don't be scared,' Caitlin spoke very quietly, she had remained quiet throughout the whole conversation as she didn't really know what to say. She understood what was happening but she just felt sad, she'd seen sick people in the hospital and it always made her sad, no matter what they were going through.

Hearing his nieces soft voice and seeing the sadness etched on her face was the final push that he needed, if he wanted to get to know her, to be a part of her life then he had to sort himself out. He wanted what his brother had, a family, and the only way he'd get it was by going to rehab and changing his life.

He wobbled as he got to his feet but Shannon and Josh managed to hold him steady as they began to walk outside to the car. Caitlin ran on ahead to open the front door and take Jake's bag to the car, it took a few minutes, Jake was in no fit state to walk very fast but eventually they made it to Josh's car.

'You take care of yourself and we'll see you soon, I'm so proud of you,' she didn't know if her words would mean much but she meant every word, hugging him gently she then backed away to let Caitlin say goodbye to her Uncle.

'I'll write to you and send you pictures and stuff if they let me, when you get home we can ask grandpa to take us all out on the boat, that'd be awesome!' Jake smiled for the first time and pulled Caitlin into a hug, 'Thank You,' he whispered before he sat himself down in the front passenger seat.

'I'll call you when I get there, I might not be back in time to pick dad up from the airport,' Josh didn't know how long it would take to fill out paperwork and sort everything out, Jake might even change his mind again once they got there but he doubted it.

'I'll pick him up, you just worry about Jake, I love you,' Shannon planted a light kiss on his forehead before Josh walked around to the driver's seat.

The girls watched as Josh backed out of the drive and disappeared off down the street to start Jake's most important journey so far.