Title: Cradle of Blood – chapter 10 – "To hide my heart."
Pairings: Zero x Kaname. Some Kaname x Zero also, and a few secondary pairings.
Warnings: AU. Sex slavery, prostitution, mature themes and lemons from time to time.
This is AU, so Zero grew up as a hunter in the notorious Kiryuu clan, was never bitten and didn't go through the trauma of being turned into a vampire.
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I wanted to put a note to thank all the wonderful people who have been writing such lovely reviews~! ^_^/
(I will catch up with the replies one day. XD;;)
It really makes me so happy to know what you think of the different things in the fic, and it always gets me all re-energized and super motivated to write more!! :D
I'm also so touched by the fact that so many people have been reading this story! I never expected it would interest that many people, and I'm so touched! It's been only about a month and a half since I started posting it and yet chapter 1 alone has 4000+ hits already, which absolutely amazes me! O_O
It also makes me feel the pressure (because I really want the story to be good and I hope you'll all go on enjoying it as the plot unfolds), but it certainly motivates me SO MUCH! :D
So thank you so much, you're all such a wonderful motivation to write~!!
This is a fluffy chapter for once! Well, it's CoB, so there's still tons of angst all over, but at least there's no rape or anything this time. XD;; *lol*
Although there's some lemony stuff… ;D But it's consensual!
It's a bit of a slow pace for now because I want Zero and Kaname to get closer and know each other better before things move on. :D *hopes you'll enjoy their fluff… err, angsty, bittersweet fluff* XD *lol*
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Zero arrived at the 'house' with a smile on his face and a square package safely concealed in a bag under his arm.
Out of habit, he took a quick look at the display window before entering, but naturally no one of interest was there anymore, since it was way into the peak hours and around this time most of the slaves were already in their rooms, receiving customer after customer.
The blood district was brimming with activity, streets full of people coming out of work late or having had dinner already and going for some 'fun' before returning home. The brothels and other 'teahouses' were crowded with visitors. Until now, Zero had only been there around opening times, and was surprised by the amount of people in the streets and in the lobby of the 'house'. He knew a lot of people went to those places, but he hadn't quite realized just how many.
The husband of the old harpy was at the desk, and his face lit up when he saw Zero push the door open.
"Oh, Mr. Kiryuu! You are quickly becoming a regular of our establishment."
Zero cringed, and wanted to cut the talk short, almost expecting them to offer him a point card or something ridiculous like that, because of the 'regular customer' talk. He limited himself to the minimum of interaction while filling up the check-in form. The man didn't mind, used to his reluctance and assuming that the occasional glares and somber mood were Zero's usual personality.
The old man, which Zero assumed was the owner –or one of them in any case, as the hunter didn't know if the house was owned by the couple or by only one of the two-- was rather talkative, perhaps happy to see Zero because he was a good customer who stayed long hours and paid all the fees without arguing.
The hunter simply sighed when he saw that the man had immediately picked up a pen and checked the 'outside toys - extra fee' check-box as soon as he saw the bag under Zero's arm, assuming it was something like that.
After all, what else could he be bringing to that place?
He wasn't about to tell them what it was anyway, so he just played along.
"You have perfect timing tonight, Mr. Kiryuu, the customer who was with your favorite just left less than a minute before you walked in, so you can go upstairs right away instead of waiting."
A large number of people were waiting to have their turn with the pureblood, but there was a reservation fee for a slave that was currently taken, and many of them were stingy and decided to just line up and arrange things among themselves, waiting without paying to secure a reservation.
The owner, greedy as ever, shot a little glance in the direction of the teahouse area, where they were waiting. He hadn't told them that the previous customer had just left, and if they complained that he let someone else pass first, he would claim Zero had paid for a reservation. Let them wait!
Much to Zero's revulsion, the owner seemed to have taken a liking for him.
Or better saying, for his quick-to-pay wallet.
At least for once, it turned out to be a good thing more than an annoyance, since otherwise Zero would be waiting in the teahouse for several hours, as the pureblood was extremely popular and had quite a number of people waiting for him around rush hour each night. Zero might have had to go back home if he'd had to wait for them all to pass first. He hadn't quite realized just how busy the house got around rush time. Belatedly, he was wondering if it was a bad idea to come around this time, and whether Kaname would be very tired. But then, if his presence might delay the pureblood having to take on the crowd that was waiting in the teahouse, it couldn't be all that bad…
A handler accompanied the hunter upstairs (more for the habit than anything since Zero already knew where the pureblood's room was), and was dismissed quickly.
Zero closed the door behind himself as he entered, and scanned the room in search of the pureblood. Kaname was nowhere to be seen, but the bed was freshly made and the sound of water could be heard coming from the bathroom.
Apparently, the pureblood heard the room door as well. He'd initially thought it was someone coming to check as usual if he was ready —and if he was in one piece— for the next customer, but when a moment passed without any handlers barging into the bathroom, he realized with horror that they'd simply sent in the next customer directly, and that he was making him wait.
Much as he hated the words he had no choice but saying, he quickly uttered an apology.
"I'm terribly sorry for making you wait, my lord!"
He'd spoken hurriedly, a moment before rushing out of the bathroom, still drying himself –or trying to, as fast as he could possibly manage, knowing well that whatever he did he'd inevitably already be in trouble anyway, since making a customer wait was one of those things certain to earn you a beating. They paid for the time spent there, and they violently hated slaves trying to slow things down and make them pay extra unnecessarily.
But instead of an angry stranger fuming and waiting to make the slave regret having wasted a customer's time, Kaname found his silver-haired savior standing by the door.
Zero smiled at him, both saddened and amused by the way the pureblood had rushed out of the bathroom, still holding a towel to himself.
Kaname could only stare back and open his mouth without knowing what to say.
What was this indescribable feeling swelling in his chest?
He'd been so certain of his decision that he couldn't possibly let the hunter get too close, knowing that he must remain cold and detached and simply enjoy what he could while it lasted and then endure when the man decided to break the mask and show his true face…
But if he was so certain, then what was this thrill of delight rushing through all his veins at the sight of the man smiling softly in front of him?!
Why did the sight of him cause a lump in his throat that matched the burning in his eyes and only made it even harder to find the right words?
"… I… I wasn't expecting you so late…"
He never knew what to say, with this man. With normal customers, there wasn't really any need to speak, or to be more exact, he wasn't supposed to speak at all, as talking without being ordered to would be like asking to get punished even more.
Most 'normal' customers just grunted orders or grabbed him and shoved him onto whatever position they wanted, just kicking his legs open or throwing him down on his knees for them.
But this man… he always looked at him as if he was a living breathing being rather than an object to use to satiate one's needs, and Kaname had spent far too many years being treated like less than trash; having someone act like he was a sentient being was just too strange, making it even harder for him to find his words.
Needless to say, ten years of being used to the idea that speaking was forbidden also made one's conversational skills quite rusty, so their conversations were always awfully awkward and filled with long silences while Zero thought of a new direction to follow and Kaname answered his questions.
But luckily, Zero had so far always been very understanding, and didn't lose patience with the pureblood despite his moments of silence and awkward pauses. That also never ceased to surprise Kaname.
"I was only going to come visit you tomorrow, but I had some time tonight, so I thought I might as well drop by." Zero was remembering the huge line waiting in the teahouse, and realizing that just as many or more must have come by already. He took a better look at the pureblood, trying to see how he was faring. Several hours had passed since the opening hour, and he could only imagine what the pureblood must already have had to go through tonight.
Kaname endured the scrutiny in silence, dropping his gaze to the ground in the display of submission that years of beatings had forced him to adopt as a mask to protect himself.
Needless to say, he was completely mistaking the reason why the hunter was casting such an examining gaze on him.
He was still holding the towel to himself, and wondered if he was expected to drop it, but since the hunter didn't give any orders, he didn't want to take an initiative and make it worse. Small nervous tremors ran up his spine, but he forced himself to stay still during the seconds that felt like whole minutes.
The pureblood was standing a bit weirdly, and had been limping rather visibly when he came out of the bathroom. Zero realized Kaname must still be having trouble walking because of the recently dislocated hips. Other than that and the deeply exhausted look the pureblood had, there were a number of bruises, more or less fresh, that weren't the same as the ones Zero saw the previous time, so he must have gotten them since then.
There were other things too, that Zero couldn't see… the way other parts of Kaname's body hurt so terribly much, because of how much abuse he'd taken by this time of the night… or how his jaw was still throbbing, because only a day ago the 'house' had had his fangs torn out again. They had regrown a bit faster this week since he'd been given blood for his injuries some days ago and that always accelerated the process.
The previous day and night had been a living nightmare, as the pureblood was completely groggy from the drugs and in horrible pain, especially since the customers were inevitably very intent on using his freshly defanged mouth.
Luckily he was feeling better today, or at least less bad, but his body was covered in a web of bruises, courtesy of the anger of a large number of the previous day's customers, irritated by how slow he was with his mind and blood so clouded by the potent anti-vampire drugs; they were made to prevent him from using his powers, but on top of also slowing down his healing they were overkill and left him completely dazed even though he'd gotten the shots in the morning of the previous day.
There were some particularly nasty bruises along the pureblood's jaw and around his neck, as well as many all over his arms and legs, mostly in places that told a clear story of how he'd gotten them.
Zero's body temperature rose slightly, in a mixture of anger towards the ones taking advantage of the pureblood –a protectiveness that surprised the hunter himself—and for a smaller part, …heat due to less noble ideas prompted by the location of some of those bruises.
Zero would never wish to do to Kaname what those people did, in that he didn't want to rape the pureblood like others regularly did, but… the hunter was only human, and the mind image of Kaname bent forward on his knees on the bed, held in place by hands tightly gripping his arms from behind … Zero's pants suddenly felt a lot tighter than a moment ago, and his face also felt hotter than before. Suddenly, he was very glad that the pureblood's eyes were still cast down, because that meant Kaname wasn't seeing the ridiculous flush that took over his face at the idea of the pureblood in such a position, offered for the taking. It was inevitably a turn on, even though Zero was also horrified with himself for having such a mind imaged while looking at the battered body in front of him.
No, no, no, must focus!! Can't think of that!
If he started thinking of that every single time he laid eyes on Kaname's…… surprisingly sensual, luscious and desirable bod-… err, on Kaname's body, he'd be no better than the others, in his opinion.
A bit late, Zero realized the pureblood's skin was getting slightly more flushed than a moment ago, and he was breathing more shallowly now, his whole body rigidly tense as if he was expecting to be hit anytime soon. Unless he wasn't expecting to be hit, but to be…
With horror, Zero realized what impression he must be giving with his silent staring examination.
"Ah! It's not what it seems at all! I was just looking to see if you were hurt."
The pureblood looked up, still tense, and when their eyes met for a brief instant, the hunter saw clearly that Kaname didn't believe him. The pureblood quickly looked away, expecting to have made things worse. He didn't know however, that Zero was feeling quite guilty. So much for reassuring him…
Kaname's voice was subdued and artificially calm when he replied.
"It's okay really… you don't have to… "
…to make up excuses.
Not exactly something safe to say so bluntly, so the words died on his lips. This hunter may not have brutalized him so far, but there was no need to hasten the inevitable in a way that would make it more painful than it would naturally be.
But he just felt so tired of this constant worrying and waiting for the worst. Not knowing when it would come was wearing him out, because the knowledge that it would inevitably happen simply wouldn't go away.
If he didn't know better, he'd have said 'You don't have to make up excuses to do what everybody else comes here for. You've paid already anyway… you own me for the upcoming few hours, so just stop dragging on this unbearable wait and do as you please already!'
Of course, unbearable as the wait may be, the inevitable horror at the end of it was even more frightening in Kaname's eyes, so he would certainly not say something that might anger the other. Even this nerve-wrecking growing apprehension was better than the moment the pureblood just knew would come sooner or later, when the hunter would cast aside the gentleness that could only be fake and do his worst.
Wanting a way out, any possible way out of the growing uneasiness in the air between them, the pureblood broke the silence again, nervousness practically dripping from his hesitant voice as he lowered his head again. It was easier if he didn't have to look at the man, if he didn't have to see when he would drop the gentle expression and get a cruel one instead.
"Would you like to have me naked or back in the… in the outfit, lord?"
Bondage outfit, more exactly, as what he was made to wear for the customers of the 'house' was almost always that rather than actual clothing. Currently, the pureblood was currently still nude, as he'd been finishing his shower when he heard the hunter come in.
However much he may hate the wretched bondage gear, Kaname deeply hoped the man wouldn't say 'naked'. He was afraid that it would mean that the inevitable moment he feared would come tonight after all.
And then again, he wasn't sure which would be worse –after all, the outfit wouldn't stop anyone from doing anything to him anyway…
Unaware of the pureblood's worries, Zero was slightly kicking himself inwardly, because only now it occurred to him that even with the heating on full blast around the bed area –for the comfort of the customers, naturally, not of the slaves—in the middle of the winter it must be rather unpleasant to be constantly nearly naked as the vampires were made to be. He suddenly wondered if the shivering that he'd witnessed on several occasion was entirely caused by apprehension alone, and how much of it was actually cold.
He himself was rather hot, as he was still wearing his thicker outside jacket which he'd put on because it was snowing when he left, on top of a shirt and a sweater. It was a casual jacket with handy pockets, somewhat longish and reaching the tops of the thighs, which was convenient in cold days, so Zero wore it often during the winter. Presently, an idea was coming to his mind as he answered the pureblood's question…
"I thought I told you you didn't have to call me 'lord'… And don't bother putting back on what you were wearing before."
A cold wave washed over the pureblood as worry rushed through his veins. Oh no…
He was inevitably assuming that he must have angered the hunter by accidentally calling him 'lord' –habits were hard to drop after ten years being forced to address any customer that way—and… he was also quite certain that the hunter most definitely intended to take him tonight.
Kaname nearly stepped back in worry at the idea, but stopped himself at the last instant, forcing his body to be still and hold the submissive posture he so hated, knowing that trying to delay the inevitable further would make it much worse.
He was naturally quite puzzled then, when instead of hitting him or doing anything sexual to him, the hunter pulled off his own jacket and handed it to him.
"Here, wear this while I'm here."
Kaname stared at him as if he didn't understand, or couldn't comprehend the unforeseen order, so Zero just wrapped the jacket around the pureblood's shoulders and patted him in the arm with a mix of embarrassment and reassuring gentleness, before turning around and walking up to the bed –in part to prevent himself from staring while Kaname dropped the towel and slid the jacket on.
The bed was visibly the most comfortable piece of furniture in the room, contrasting with the small divan nearby, which looked more decorative than anything else. The hunter sat down on the border of it and motioned for the pureblood to approach.
Kaname did, after finally shaking himself out of his unmoving state and sliding his arms through the sleeves of the jacket. Unsure of whether he was expected to leave it hanging open or fasten it shut, he haphazardly held it mostly closed with his hands, until Zero made a little gesture indicating he could zip it shut, and the pureblood complied quickly, still surprised.
He knew he wasn't allowed to wear normal clothes, but disobeying a customer would be the worst possible, so the pureblood technically had no choice other than wear it anyway… and once he was in the jacket, he realized with amazement just how incredibly warm it was. The effect was made even more impressive by the fact the jacket was already warmed by Zero's body heat, so Kaname didn't have to adjust to putting it on cold. It was his skin that was cold from having been naked until now, and the jacket's contact was pure delight in contrast.
Zero had a much more muscular build than Kaname, something that would have been inevitable due to their natures even if Kaname hadn't been a slave, but it was even more visible since Kaname's body had been weakened by the anti-vampire drugs for so many years as he grew up, and as a side-effect he hadn't gotten quite as tall or strongly built as he might have otherwise. The pureblood was a little less tall than the hunter, and had much more slender arms and legs. It wasn't a considerable difference, but it was still more than what might have been the case if he'd grown up without the drugs hindering so much of a vampire's natural functions.
And then again, all purebloods naturally did have a more androgynous beauty and more delicately built bodies than humans and other vampire classes anyway, so even if he'd grown up free he would probably have had the same curves and slender limbs and would just have been a little taller and physically stronger than he was now.
In the situation at hand in any case, the hunter's broader shoulders made that his jacket was too big on the pureblood, and the tip of the sleeves didn't simply stop little ways past the wrists as it did on Zero, they went instead a good inch or two lower, about halfway down on Kaname's hands.
Zero saw this and couldn't help but find it strangely adorable how the pureblood's fingers stuck out of the sleeves, the oversized garment giving him a more innocent look… if you ignored the attractive bare legs and the fact that no matter what Kaname wore, he looked good enough to eat.
There was an absolutely irresistibly sensual vibe about the pureblood at all times; Zero didn't know if that was due only to the natural features all purebloods were born with or if it was Kaname in particular that was that way, but it made everything about the pureblood seem always permanently luscious and lust-inducing.
It also made concentrating around him quite difficult each time that Zero came over, especially since the hunter was desperately trying to resist the temptation.
If it was like that even for humans, how did the other vampires perceive the purebloods?
Zero knew that technically, pureblood vampires had 'built-in' pheromones to make others around them –especially fellow vampires—perceive them as extremely desirable and superior, but this was… so much more than what he'd expected. It was practically like Kaname had a scent or a general vibe about him that was begging anyone around to jump him.
As much as Zero may be tempted to do exactly that, he realized what a horrible curse such a thing must be, and had to feel bad for the pureblood.
Technically, all vampires had a certain something in them that made others find them extremely beautiful and alluring, yet another thing that hunters used as an argument in their theory that nature meant the vampires to be pleasure slaves, since their bodies were naturally made for seduction.
Evolution might have meant this as something to attract prey by seducing humans, and, in the case of purebloods, something to instill into other vampires the idea that they were to be revered and adored, but in a world where they were deprived of their power and anything they could use to defend themselves, on top of being reduced to captivity and enslaved… that scent or whatever it was must be horrifying to live with.
Now that the vampires were at the mercy of their enemies, that natural something -- both natural charm and pheromones -- that they couldn't shut off was drawing in people intent on abusing them, instead of prey or potential mates.
Until some days ago, Zero might have snorted and sided with the majority of hunters in thinking 'serves them well!'
Maybe not. He wasn't quite sure how he'd have reacted, in truth. He might have said that, out of automatic hunter reaction or not, depending on the mood he was in, then… Now on the other hand, the mere idea made him inevitably cringe a little, because it instantly conjured images of cruel tormentors cornering this vampire against a wall … The same vampire whom Zero was currently watching from the corner of his eyes as Kaname cutely tried to disguise the delight on his face at the warmth of the hunter's jacket.
The hunter gestured for the pureblood to sit near him, and Kaname complied immediately, worried but still surprised that the hunter hadn't made any move towards him yet.
But the surprise would only grow even bigger.
Zero pulled something out of the bag he'd brought with him, and handed it to Kaname.
It was a square package, wrapped in a beautiful dark brown paper with a glossy surface and a black satiny ribbon around it, tied in a flourish on the top.
The pureblood's initial reaction was to think with delight that it must be food of some sort, but when he took the package from the hunter's fingers, he nearly dropped it. He'd been expecting it to be some sort of pastries, or maybe a box of chocolates from the shape, but it was much heavier than he'd thought.
He glanced at the man with an uncertain look, holding the package close to himself. Zero had an amused look on his face.
"Go on, open. It's a gift for you."
Kaname swallowed dry, still filled with uncertainty. On one hand, it was a magical experience… on another hand, he'd suffered far too much to believe someone would bring him a real gift, so there was more apprehension than eagerness as he opened the package, fearing what he might find inside.
He was stunned to the point of being speechless.
Once the ribbon and the wrapper had been removed, he pulled aside the layers of protective silk paper beneath and found himself holding in his hands a heavy chess set, of a beautiful dark mahogany, with the squares made of polished marble, securely embedded in the wood. It was gorgeous, and must have been rather expensive.
But… How…
How did he know…?
And then he remembered telling Zero of how he loved playing chess as a child, and how he would challenge his father as often as he could when he was small…
The hunter had remembered that…? Remembered and brought him such a princely gift…?
Kaname was so taken aback that he couldn't reply, and for a moment even forgot to breathe. He looked so stunned that Zero even got worried that there might be something wrong.
The hunter pointed at a small ornate little lock on the side of the board, and explained "there's a lock here. The board itself is a box, and the pieces are stored inside."
He demonstrated as he spoke, opening it. The box revealed a black and a white set of pieces, sculpted in marble. The white ones were Italian Carrara marble, and the black ones were Turkish black marble. The whole set was bathed in the pleasant scent of the wood the box was made of.
Zero was no chess specialist, but he'd played it a bit too, although not with that much dedication, more like a fun thing Ichiru and him would do from time to time as kids. But he could tell a beautiful set when he saw one, and he was glad he'd picked this one. He felt a certain pride when looking at the elegant pieces gleaming darkly in their individual spots inside the box; this was a present that was sure to please.
But to his surprise, the pureblood looked anything but happy, and Zero couldn't understand what was wrong.
Kaname closed the box softly, holding onto it tightly, head bowed because he didn't want the other to see how his eyes were filled with tears, threatening to spill and roll down his face anytime now. The pureblood's dark hair concealed the look of pain in his eyes.
He was holding his breath, certain that if he let it go he'd ineluctably start crying.
"Kaname… What's wrong?"
The pureblood's shoulders were shaking slightly. Zero couldn't understand, and pondered if there was such a colossal difference between their species or cultures that something that seemed beautiful to one may seem like an insulting gift to the other or something, ridiculous as the notion may seem.
A tear fell on the chessboard and rolled down the marble top, before the pureblood quickly wiped it off with his fingers, too late to hide it.
"Kaname…? Talk to me."
A direct order from a hunter, he couldn't evade. The pureblood shifted but didn't raise his head. He replied, in a forlorn voice. "I'm so sorry, but… I can't keep it… they'll confiscate it. Even if I had a place where I could hide it, it would be too dangerous."
Anything left behind was treated as something a customer had forgotten, and was taken away. If a slave was found trying to actually hide something, on the other hand, it would be theft, and the consequences would be tragic.
That's it…? He's so desolate because of so little?
Belatedly, Zero realized just how much the gift must have truly pleased the pureblood for him to feel so dejected at the idea of having to return it.
"That's not a problem. You can still have it, and I'll simply take it home with me and then bring it back each time I come to see you. That way… well, if you feel like it of course, we could play with it, and continue the game the next time if we can't finish it in one sitting."
The pureblood was so surprised that he actually raised his head, momentarily forgetting his embarrassing tear-filled eyes and flushed cheeks.
"Wh-… Is…. Is such a thing really okay…?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"And… and you would want to play with me?"
Play with a slave…?!
There was only one game that hunters normally played with slaves, and it was by far not chess. Nor was it pleasant, well, for the slaves in any case.
Zero had actually demonstrated more tact than usual, by making sure to mention 'we could play with it' instead of merely saying 'we could play' and risking the pureblood somehow assuming he was talking about sex.
He explained further. "Well, I'm a bit rusty, but it could be fun, no…? Usually we mostly sit around and talk, I figured this could pass the time in a pleasant manner as well, by playing chess while chatting…"
'Pass the time?' Why would you want to 'pass the time'…?! You are paying the 'house' for each hour spent with me… Why would you pay for my company and not do anything to me…??
But Kaname wasn't about to ask the hunter that, of course, although he did shoot him a few quizzical glances while attempting to sort out his own thoughts.
The puzzling lack of logic –from Kaname's point of view at least-- in the hunter's behavior reminded the pureblood of his cautious instincts and of his decision to keep his heart as locked as he possibly could, since things were visibly too good to believe. But surely, accepting this gift couldn't do any harm, could it…?
At this point, even if Kaname's reason had insisted that it was a poisoned gift that must be cast away, the pureblood might not have been able to do so. His fingers were clinging to the board with all he had. Chess had been one of his absolute passions as a child, and he'd long believed he'd never get to play it again. Sometimes, when he was alone in the dark, during the few hours the slaves were left to sleep and recoup for the next night, he found himself staring at the canopy of the bed, imagining the board in his mind and mentally moving the pieces… but the mind image had never lived up to a real board, and he wasn't really able to play that way, especially not with his mind dulled by the anti-vampire drugs and by the exhaustion of each day, prompting him to slip into an agitated sleep before he could truly play anything.
But this! This was like a dream coming true right before his eyes.
It seemed so wonderful that even knowing that it had to be too good to be true, it was impossible to resist. And, as he kept repeating to himself, there could be no harm in accepting it…?
If he was right, when the hunter stopped being gentle, he'd lose everything he'd done for him anyway… so he might as well enjoy whatever he could get for now, right? It didn't clash with his decision to be wary and cautious, after all. …Even if in his mind it just sounded like he was making up excuses for himself, to be able to accept the gift no matter what…
Ah, let tomorrow tell if he was foolish in accepting or not!
"I don't understand… why you would bring me such a precious present. But I am deeply touched and so very grateful for it. I will gladly keep it, since you offered."
Beyond the politeness, he really was deeply touched. It was a bit late to hide it, considering he'd ridiculed himself enough by crying over it.
Zero was already about to say not to sweat it, but the pureblood continued, hesitant.
"I…"
Kaname was torn by completely contradictory urges, at the moment. Even with the fear that the hunter might be out to betray him, Kaname felt compelled to repay him for the gift, and a part of him that was perhaps much too crazy and reckless also whispered to him that rather than tremble in fear waiting for the inevitable, he might as well seize things into his own hands for the time being.
Not finding the right words to express all that he was feeling, Kaname just set the chessboard down on the bed and slid to his knees on the ground, less fluidly than he might normally, as his hips were still giving him a hard time.
In a heartbeat, he was kneeling in front of the other, or more exactly, between his legs, and his nimble fingers were on the hunter's pants zipper.
Zero was, to say the least, rather surprised.
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?!"
Not that what the pureblood was doing didn't send a spike of molten heat straight to Zero's groin the very instant he saw Kaname drop to his knees in front of him, but… the hunter's decency and principles made that he felt obliged to oppose some resistance, if anything in case the pureblood was doing this because he felt forced to one way or another.
But Zero also had in mind the vivid memory of the amazing experience that having the pureblood's lips around him had been, the first time he came to the 'house'.
He didn't want to think of all that the pureblood had gone through that caused him to develop such skills, but there was no doubt that Kaname's mastery in bed was something spectacular. And the moment of distraction at the memory of the earth-shattering orgasm he'd had the last time made that by the time Zero snapped out of it, Kaname already had popped the button of the hunter's pants and was pulling his –embarrassingly already hard—flesh out of the confines of pants and underwear.
"Kaname… you… you don't have to."
It was already hard to concentrate with the pureblood's slender fingers around him, but when Kaname parted his lips and let the tip of a delicate pink tongue peek out to tease the head of Zero's erection tantalizingly slowly, the hunter pretty much forgot what he was saying.
"Stop me if you don't like it, Kiryuu-sama…"
Zero was pretty sure he was going to protest about something. Either the use of the honorific or the fact that Kaname was still there on his knees when he'd told him he didn't have to… or… or something. The hunter's brain blanked out the moment the pureblood's warm lips engulfed him, and at the present moment, Zero was having quite some trouble thinking coherently. His mind was very much empty other than for the repeated string of expletives about how amazing this felt.
Kaname had pumped the hard flesh in his mouth a few times before pulling out and continuing the same movement with one hand while his lips and his tongue moved up and down the hunter's arousal, lavishing it with single-minded attention and providing amazing stimuli on various areas simultaneously as his teasing tongue slid over the hard flesh in a maddening dance that touched each spot with perfect timing to the rhythm of the pureblood's hand movements.
Kaname's lips closed over the head of Zero's arousal again, tongue flicking over the slit to wipe away the clear liquid that was about to drip out. Zero's fingers clenched on the sides of the bed he was still sitting on, knuckles nearly turning white, and he couldn't hold back a throaty moan anymore.
The pureblood smiled inwardly, belying the nervous tenseness that was still haunting him. At least, he's enjoying it… He'd been initially afraid that the hunter might punish him for the initiative, but Zero seemed to be too much into it for that to be likely, or at least the pureblood hoped so. It was so much easier to read the other customers and guess what they might or might not do. This one was… way too unpredictable for that.
Fears aside, Kaname sincerely wanted to do this. Because he had nothing else that he could possibly give to repay the hunter. He was a slave, and not even his body belonged to him, so a special service was the only thing he could do to try and give back a little. And at least, in those moments, he was slightly in charge and didn't have to worry as much about what the other might suddenly do to him… except that it was a double edged blade once again, since there was nothing to say that the hunter would simply throw him down and take him instead of letting him finish, or even after he finished.
But then, the hunter could do the same thing at absolutely any time he so wished anyway, so it didn't change much. Kaname had no right to refuse, or even any hope that it would somehow not happen any time.
But in a way, he was torn between the urge to provide this pleasure to repay the hunter, and the inevitable fear that it would cause things to go way farther than he felt comfortable with.
The pureblood was pulled out of his musings by a sudden contact that startled him slightly. He was still pumping the hunter's glistening flesh, lips and tongue tracing intensely arousing semi-circles along each side of it while he pumped it… when the soft weight of the hunter's hand on his hair made him jolt.
Countless people pushed his head down, yanked his hair, or other random variations of such things whenever he was made to give them blowjobs, but what surprised him deeply was that what the hunter was doing was completely different from that.
Zero was still sitting, although in a less dignified manner now as the pleasure had liquefied his hesitation and he was bucking earnestly into the pureblood's hand and mouth while moaning in the back of his throat, almost keening softly… but all along, he was also forcing himself not to buck too hard, and was stroking the pureblood's hair in a succession of gentle caresses.
Unlike what most customers usually did, he wasn't trying to regulate the speed at which Kaname moved –terribly tempted as he may be— nor was he trying to force himself into the pureblood's mouth any harder or anything… he was just letting Kaname do it at his own pace, while gently petting his hair, fingers caressing the dark head softly, running between the locks smoothly, the contact completely different from anything the pureblood had experienced in years and years.
Kaname's movements became less precise and less skilled, strangely. He didn't understand what was hurting so much in his heart, but he was having more and more trouble doing it right, and then, all of a sudden, he stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed that the hunter was not moving anymore.
It took him a moment to realize what Zero was staring at, and then Kaname finally noticed that he had tears running down his cheeks, and that the hunter was looking at him with concern.
He hadn't even felt when he'd started crying. The hunter's unexpected gentle caresses had swept him off his feet, so to speak, and his body had reacted automatically to the intense ache in his heart. He hadn't realized just how starved he'd been for a simple contact that wasn't meant to hurt him.
"…ah… I… I'm sorry… I…"
The pureblood's hands went for his face, ashamed of the display and wishing he could hide it, and in the immediate, terribly worried about having stopped in the middle of the blowjob. Any other customer would beat him for the interruption, but Zero merely reached down and pulled the pureblood up, making him sit next to him on the bed. Kaname let himself be guided to whatever position the hunter wanted him in, partially out of habit and partially because he just simply didn't know what he was expected to do, and feared immediate punishment regardless of the gentleness the hunter had displayed. But to his renewed surprise, all Zero did was pull him close and hold him.
"Are you okay?"
The question registered in the pureblood's increasingly clouded mind, and he weighed each word, turning them around in his head and trying to understand what the hunter was asking him to do, but it just didn't compute. It was not a question people normally asked him, and he didn't know what to answer, especially in a moment where he felt so dazed. At this point, he didn't even know why the tears weren't stopping no matter how hard he tried to regain control of himself.
"I… I'm not sure."
Kaname's reply came out in a voice so broken and lost that Zero's eyes widened.
The hunter carefully pulled them backwards to tumble onto the bed, turning onto his side and pulling the pureblood closer into his arms, almost cradling him to his chest while he started caressing Kaname's head again, whispering reassurances into his ear as he'd done when he'd helped him after the pureblood had been so terribly hurt by Ichiou.
Zero wasn't sure of the proper way to comfort a vampire, or –for that matter, anyone human or not who'd been so badly abused—, but the simple gestures from childhood that Ichiru and him had shared countless times had worked already once before, so he figured they would work again.
"Shh… sh… It's okay. No one's going to hurt you while I'm here."
Zero's words came out on instinct, a reflection of the urge he had to protect the pureblood, but the promise actually surprised the hunter himself, especially since he'd had to correct the sentence just before he voiced it: his first instinct was to say 'I won't let anyone hurt you anymore' but that was hardly a promise he could keep, wasn't it?
A wave of bitterness washed through the hunter at the idea that this person shivering in his arms, that was already so broken, would go on being hurt each day, and that there was nothing he could do to prevent it.
When did he become so protective of the vampire?
Was it because he'd seen him so broken already and feared what might happen if Kaname got so much more hurt that he didn't manage to come back from it the next time? Or was it because of the pureblood's surprisingly adorable earnestness in trying to repay the hunter for things regardless of how desperate his own situation was?
Kaname was fighting a battle of wills within himself. His heart was in too much pain and just needing the contact far too much for him to try in any way to get out of the hunter's soothing embrace, while his reason told him that the man may be gentle now, but that he'd inevitably punish him for the interruption sooner or later. Still dazed and unsure of what he was doing exactly, Kaname hesitantly tried to reach for the hunter's arousal, intent on finishing the job.
Zero had been too concerned by Kaname's distress and had just pulled him into his arms without immediately bothering to zip up etc., so the pureblood's fingers found what they were looking for easily enough… except that it was completely not in the state he'd been expecting, to the point that he was almost as surprised by the contact as the hunter was, when his fingers wrapped around the other's flesh. He pulled his hand back right away, as if something had bitten him, and actually had to touch again, curling his fingers around it and then shifting on the bed so that he could actually see for himself before he believed what his fingers told him.
Zero was starting to turn a deep shade of pink wondering what in the world the pureblood was doing and why he looked so surprised, but Kaname was absolutely mesmerized.
The hunter's erection was gone.
Kaname had to refrain from poking him to make sure, so disbelieving he was.
He expected the hunter's kindness and comforting gestures to be just an act all along, so naturally, he assumed that even though Zero was holding him gently in his arms and acting so worried and concerned… it couldn't be true, so the hunter must still be hard and waiting for completion. To see for himself that Zero was actually soft and limp was completely unexpected. The pureblood held his breath, not knowing if there could be another reason for this and if he'd be foolish if he took it to mean that Zero's concern and worry for him were real.
The hunter was embarrassed enough by the staring and touching –not to mention worried that Kaname's poking might reawaken his urges for good and make things more difficult to resist—, so he quickly readjusted his clothes and zipped and buttoned his pants.
Kaname was still staring at it disappearing into the pants, a shocked look in his eyes.
"You're… not hard…"
The pureblood kicked himself inwardly the moment after the words left his lips, afraid he might have sounded offending, but Zero merely reacted to the enormity of the obvious statement.
"Of course not! You started crying and I was so worried for you… it just… uhm… went down…"
Zero's voice died off into a nearly inaudible level by the end of the sentence. Must it be so embarrassing?? He flushed a deep shade of red as he said the words, maybe particularly because of the absolutely startled expression of disbelieving shock on the pureblood's face, openly staring at him as Zero spoke.
It wasn't the same as the look the pureblood had in his eyes when Zero could tell that Kaname hadn't believed something he said, though.
This time, the pureblood looked like he desperately wanted to believe, and was afraid of it not being true. He was just so shocked that something so unbelievable could actually be true, and that someone would be concerned for him enough that their body would put the lust in a secondary place. It might have been laughable if the hunter didn't realize just how much pain the pureblood must have been carrying all along, for something so ridiculously simple and physiological to make such a deep impression on him.
Kaname was still trying to get a hold of himself, rather unsuccessfully.
"But.. I… I should finish…"
He hated how stupid he sounded as he gestured for the hunter's zipper almost pleadingly. Or the fact that there were still fresh tears sliding down his cheeks.
Zero pushed the pureblood's hands away, closing his own over them.
"Another time, okay?"
He slid an arm around the pureblood's back and pulled him closer, resting his chin on Kaname's head gently while he wrapped his arms around the pureblood's back and caressed his back and head soothingly. The pureblood practically burrowed against his chest, his whole body shaking softly as he desperately fought the urge to cry that had reawakened anew. Why did he always feel like breaking into sobs when this man held him gently?! Why could he not resist the need for contact and remain cold and careful as he'd planned to?! Why was it so difficult to resist this man's embrace?!
Kaname couldn't help but think that if Zero was indeed just playing him as he thought, then he was a complete master at it. Which meant that either the hunter's kindness was real –which the pureblood was pretty sure was definitely impossible—or he was far more dangerous than Kaname had initially imagined, a thought that sent a shiver of renewed fear skittering up the pureblood's spine.
Never had he encountered someone capable to act so well, or with such amazing control. Even the ones who had fooled him before hadn't been able to display an ounce of the amount of care that Zero displayed, because his gentleness felt so terribly genuine that it went straight into Kaname's bleeding heart, right in the way he most desperately needed.
The pureblood choked a strangled sob and couldn't prevent himself from momentarily forgetting all the restraint that he'd meant to display to protect himself.
They stayed in that position for quite a while, Zero patiently soothing the pureblood, caressing his hair and whispering gentle words. It took quite some time, but eventually the pureblood started to calm down little by little, and his physical sensations managed to pierce through his mental distress, making him realize at last just how much his hips were hurting in that position. He tried shifting his leg a little to see if that would make it less bad, but because he was laying on his side, the higher leg didn't have as good support as the one on the bed, and its weight pulled on the joint in a painful manner. Zero caught on all the shifting around, and realized the pureblood was uncomfortable.
"Hey, what do you say we play that chess game now? If you feel like it, that is."
Kaname once more didn't know exactly how to respond properly to the hunter's offer, and just nodded after giving up on trying to talk. Zero helped him shift onto a position where he'd be more comfortable --laying on his belly along the bed's length-- and then started setting the board while Kaname marveled at the fact the hunter hadn't touched him any more than the necessary to help him –inevitably he'd been automatically expecting Zero to do a lot more than that, when he found himself laying down in that position.
And truth to be said, Zero did have to quickly move away, because the jacket may technically reach low enough, but it barely did, resulting in the pureblood's perfectly round buttocks being really tempting, the very edge of them barely showing where the jacket had slipped up a little due to the accidental rubbing on the bed coverlet as they moved.
Oh… uhm. No good. Zero made sure to quickly sit opposite to the pureblood and not stare over Kaname's head too much, hoping that from that angle at least it would be less tempting.
He was also rather glad that he had zipped his pants earlier. He was currently having to hunch forward so that his sweater would cover his crotch and not reveal that he was hard again just from seeing the pureblood in that inviting position.
He'd wanted to put his jacket on the pureblood earlier not only because he thought Kaname might be cold being always naked, but also for a great part because he hoped that it would make resisting temptation easier.
But ironically, the fact that most of what Zero wanted to see was covered made him hyper-aware of it, his gaze instinctively straying to what he could see of the pureblood's bare skin, trying to see more. Not to mention that the idea that Kaname was completely naked, inside his jacket… well, he'd better start focusing on chess a lot if he wanted to be able to stop staring.
The last thing he'd want was to make Kaname think he wanted to do to him what all those other people wanted to…
Well, wait, he did want to. But not like that!
He wanted to bed the pureblood, yes, but only if he believed that Kaname wanted the same also. He would not force him like the others did. Kaname may be a vampire and all that, but Zero refused to think of him as an object to use at will to satisfy bodily desires. Not even beasts deserved such a fate, so even if the vampire visibly aching in front of him had really been a beast rather than a person, Zero would still think the rapes were disgusting. And as it was, it was far too late for him to view Kaname as an object or probably anything other than a person.
Zero was trying to remember when was the last time he played chess, as he set the pieces on the board. Something looked kind of off, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. Kaname was shooting desolated glances at the board, but not daring to say anything, which confirmed the hunter's impression.
"I put something wrong, didn't I? Can you fix it?"
The pureblood seemed to breathe in relief and quickly switched the bishops and knights, which Zero had set in the wrong places. Kaname had been burning to switch them from the very instant the hunter had put them wrong, but had been wary of saying something and getting in trouble.
As it was, he was torn between the delight of seeing the board in front of him and being about to play and… the fact that he was pretty sure that a slave trashing his opponent in a few moves would have tragic consequences.
If this was any other customer –not that any of them would have played chess with him, of course, but hypothetically speaking—he knew well that he would have had no choice but play it on the defensive and let them win, hopefully making mistakes that wouldn't seem too blatant, to avoid offending them by making it obvious that he was losing on purpose. Hunters liked to believe they were superior to the vampires in all things –which was completely untrue, simply speaking of the gifts nature had given each race—so performing well at anything but the sexual service that vampires were forced into would have been asking for trouble.
But this hunter was different, right? Or he faked it very well, in any case. So maybe it would be okay to end the game in a draw or even…
The pureblood laid his face on his forearms crossed in front of himself, and eyed the board through wistful eyes, wishing he could truly play as he pleased, without holding back in the least. His thoughts were interrupted by the hunter's voice.
"Black or white?"
The black pieces were already on his side, so Kaname just left things as they were and replied "Black, please."
"Kaname… I don't know if you've thought of that or not, but please don't hold back. I figure you're considerably better at chess than me, but I wouldn't want you to tone it down for any reason. I like better playing fair and don't mind at all if you win."
Once more, the pureblood was absolutely surprised by the man. It was as if Zero somehow always knew what he was afraid of, or at least always knew the right thing to say to wash away his fears. Kaname's face colored slightly and he couldn't hold the delighted smile that took over his features as he whispered a promise. "I will play seriously then."
Zero felt something strange inside himself at the sight of the pureblood's innocent happiness. Something like an urge to ensure that this smile wouldn't die away, a feeling that he couldn't explain to himself but that felt very strong and warm inside… and very similar to the protective urges that made him stroke the pureblood's hair when Kaname had been so lost earlier.
.
28 minutes later, white had completely massacred black and the two were staring at the board with different levels of disbelief.
Zero was staring at Kaname's fallen black king laying on its side. The hunter was still awed that he'd won so thoroughly. It was common knowledge --in the post-war world, that is-- that all the great chess players of the past had been vampires, passing themselves for humans to live among the human society, which made that chess in a competitive level had nearly died as those people were killed or captured with the war. Vampires simply had a natural ability for chess and other strategy games, something perhaps born of their greatly analytical minds and heightened intelligence. Zero had expected that a pureblood especially, would completely crush him in a match, especially since he hadn't played in a few years himself. He was very surprised to have won, and if not for the sincere smile that Kaname had had when he promised to play seriously, Zero would be convinced that the pureblood had thrown the game.
Kaname was completely taken aback, staring at the board with utter mortification and flushed embarrassment. He was used to all sorts of shame, but this was a different and vaguely strange type. Considerably less bad than the much more real and painful shame he felt when his tormentors humiliated him, there was no doubt about that, but… he still couldn't believe he'd been defeated so thoroughly. By a human no less!!
It had been a difficult match with many losses on both sides as they were both rusty, but even then it was still as if the hunter was always a move ahead of him. Kaname was still somewhat in shock that he hadn't seen the obvious trap of the bishop farther away on the board when Zero had drawn the pureblood's king out and then checkmated him. Kaname had practically turned lividly pale with disbelief when it happened and then red with shame the moment he'd tumbled his own king to the side to indicate he accepted his defeat.
Sure, he'd only ever played chess as a child, mostly against his father, Haruka, who wasn't exactly a specialist at it himself –Juri was much better, but rarely ever felt like playing--, but… Kaname had loved chess deeply enough that he'd hoped he was somewhat good at it, back then.
But now, the ten years spent in captivity had felt more like hundreds of years, and had had a heavy enough psychological impact on him that for far too long his mind had shut off way too much of certain things, the things that he didn't think he could ever have a chance at anymore.
He could barely remember the basic rules to play, and strategy was straight out of the window. He was horrified at how rusty he'd gotten.
Zero was starting to feel guilty for just how shocked the pureblood looked –although he had to admit it was kind of funny, in a cute way—and was getting tempted to ask if he was okay, when Kaname spoke again, in a wavering and hesitant voice.
"Would… Would it be okay if we played again? I think… I really need some practice."
The way those dark garnet eyes looked when the pureblood raised his head, his cheeks still slightly flushed with embarrassment… it was mesmerizing. Zero could only smile and nod eagerly.
They spent the next few hours talking of random things as they played game after game. Kaname was less tragically shocked by the next losses, because he'd scored a few victories against Zero as well –although he suspected the hunter had thrown the game in his first defeat, because Zero had been on a winning spree and Kaname's morale had been dropping visibly.
The pureblood was somewhat annoyed by the idea, but he was also perplexed that the hunter would bother at all with trying to cheer him up. Rather than feeling irritated by the undue victory, the shame of failing so badly fueled Kaname's urge to do better than that, and he managed to finally properly beat the hunter a little later. He'd been instinctively worried at first, but Zero had been supportive and fair-play about it, another thing that touched the pureblood more than he'd have expected. A rush of unexpected warmth filled Kaname's heart and his fingers tightened automatically around the knight he'd used to checkmate Zero's king, in an innocent pride that he hadn't felt in more than ten years.
It was such a strange feeling to watch the time passing without anything terrible happening, without having to jump with fear at the slightest sound of footsteps outside, the succession of customers coming one after the other, barely leaving him enough time to change the sheets and clean up in between each, his body more and more worn out as exhaustion took over him and the various aches and bruises multiplied and made things more and more difficult with each newcomer…
Or even, it was so strange to simply be able to have a conversation with someone, play a game, talk of random things… Things that humans took for granted and enjoyed freely, and that were completely impossible for a vampire in the current world.
Even talking at all just simply felt so weird. Kaname had lived in slavery so long that sometimes he'd whisper to himself in the dark, afraid of forgetting the sound of his own voice, or how to speak. Now, it felt so weird to hear himself so often. He was nowhere as eloquent as he'd been in the past when he was free, and he hated every single time he paused awkwardly to search for a word or because speech patterns came slightly jumbled. But the gentle reassuring smile of the hunter made everything all better, and the times that Kaname's gaze strayed to Zero's warm amethyst eyes or his soft-looking lips, the pureblood nearly forgot what he was saying altogether, lost in the urge to drown in that smile and never come back out of it to face the harsh reality of the world.
They were too engrossed in each other to see the time passing, but after a while Zero finally noticed and decided that if he wanted to have any chances to make it back home on time to get some much needed hours of sleep before getting up for work, he'd better leave soon.
His need to leave broke a little the spell of the moment, bringing back the reality of the fact that he wouldn't be there always, and throwing a shroud of sadness over the pureblood. Kaname concealed it to his best, but he was less talkative, and his eyes lost themselves on the ground more now, instead of stealing glances at the hunter as he'd been doing before. The rational side of the pureblood was reminding him harshly of how foolish it was to bask in the other's presence, when it was but an illusory solace that couldn't possibly be sincere regardless of the appearances. Kaname knew well that when the other finally did break the mask, his heart would shatter, but he was too hurt to not cling to the moment at hand, ever lost in this battle between reason and raw need, between knowing that it could not possibly last, and desperately yearning for even a tiny little moment of respite from the daily horror he lived in.
Against his best judgment, the pureblood couldn't stop the words coming out of his lips when the hunter got up.
"When will you be back?"
He didn't want to ask it, because it was an admission that he wanted the hunter to come back, and even just such a simple idea was already giving so much power to the other by letting him know that the pureblood was getting more dependent of his presence, despite all his attempts to distance himself.
But if the hunter had thought of it that way, he betrayed no such thing on his face when he smiled at the pureblood.
Zero had a hunting/searching mission out of the city the next day, but it was just a routine one, and he was sure he would be back on time to drop by the opening hours of the 'house'. They would be hunting for survivors of the war hiding in the wilderness, usually level E's who'd somehow escaped previous searches. But those missions most often went by without any enemies being found anyway, so it would probably be an easy job and be done fast.
Originally, he'd planned to give Kaname the chess set at his return, but he brought it along when he decided to visit tonight. He wasn't about to mention his work as a hunter though, so he didn't say anything of the mission and merely caressed the other's face softly, replying "I'll be back tomorrow at the opening without fault."
The gesture had been instinctive, and it slightly surprised the two of them. And as Zero walked to the door, strategically looking away to avoid being tempted when the pureblood took off the jacket to hand it back to him, this time it was Kaname who whispered "Take care…"
Zero chuckled, turning to meet Kaname's hesitant gaze, and raising a hand to his face, fingers brushing softly the pureblood's parted lips.
"You too…"
The door clicked softly, and Zero walked away, leaving Kaname with the feeling of the hunter's touch still lingering on his lips. He stared at the wood, sighing softly, in part wistfully wishing for more and in part angry at himself for having failed to keep his distance from the other.
He walked away from the door and let himself fall on his back on the bed, inhaling deeply the hunter's scent on the sheets. He didn't have to hurry as much since he wouldn't need to shower before the next customer –that too, was such a strange feeling… normally he had to run to have time to do it all, especially during rush hour when they sent people in at shorter intervals. The hunter had stayed long enough that it was now much later in the night, when the flow of customers lessened, although the pureblood still had a few hours ahead to endure as there were always latecomers, and his popularity made that it was unlikely those would go for another slave if he was free. If no one came, they'd put him in the display again, to attract anyone still passing in the street until the time the house closed and he was finally allowed to sleep, until the next evening.
Normally, once the night was over a slave would just sleep on the last sheets used, while the others were washed, but Kaname was secretly planning to put the sheets with Zero's scent aside from the others and switch them with the last set of the night, to be able to sleep on them once the night was finally over, instead of just leaving them in the pile to wash for the next evening. He knew it was stupid to let himself so open to hurt by allowing himself to depend on the other for comfort, but at least the hunter wouldn't see what he was doing and have yet another edge on him. He could always try and distance himself the next time… or at least, that's what he told himself he must try.
As he got up to change the sheets, something small bounced off the bed and fell on the ground, rolling away. With horror, Kaname went after it, recognizing a chess piece that had been forgotten behind when Zero had put everything away to take the board back with him.
It was the white knight that Kaname had used to checkmate Zero in his first truly earned victory. They had switched around back and forth and Kaname had been playing with the white pieces through part of the night.
Kaname looked at it up close, a bittersweet feeling spreading in his heart, making him unsure whether it was pain or pleasure that he felt when he looked at the little sculpted piece of marble in his hand. The same feeling he felt when he looked at Zero, and in a way, the hunter reminded him of that chess piece… pale skin crowned by hair that looked grey from afar and was almost silver when you saw it up close in the light, much like the knight crafted of beautiful white marble, streaked with grey and mottled with some other stone that shone softly in the light and reminded the pureblood of the hunter's gentle amethyst eyes.
Kaname felt his throat tightening, and he unconsciously brought the knight up to his mouth and placed his lips on the cold surface of it before he'd noticed what he was doing.
Tomorrow, he'd attempt to be cold and distant. Yeah, like you'd be able to do it… He shook the doubt away and told himself that he would try his very best.
He wrapped the chess piece inside the sheets he was going to put aside, and hid it all in the corner behind the door of the little laundry space in the wall, before quickly making the bed with new sheets and sitting on a corner of it to wait for a handler to come and send in the next man.
Now that he was ready and waiting on a cold bed, there was a strange ominous feeling in the air, of which he couldn't quite pinpoint the source.
His gums were still hurting from the fang removal and he licked them nervously while he waited. It was easier to ignore the physical pain while Zero's company had been occupying his mind and keeping him busy. Now that the hunter was gone, the exhaustion and the pain were making themselves more noticeable.
But Kaname could tell that strangely this wasn't at all what was causing that worry. It was a weird feeling in his blood, something intangible and vague letting him know that something bad would happen, but not precise enough to say what, leaving him particularly tense, worry churning in his gut.
Something in his instincts told him it was related to Zero though.
Inevitably, he feared it meant the hunter would finally betray him soon, and that thought sent spikes of pain straight through his heart. He wasn't left enough time to worry about it in the immediate though, because the door opened and he had to stand quickly, glancing at the bed in worry to see if he'd left creases on where he was sitting.
.
.
.
[tbc]
Cliffhanger? XD; *lol*
The chapter title this time is a chunk of a line from the song "Play dead" by HIM. :D
I chose this line in reference to Kaname's decision to try and shut his heart completely from Zero, by fear that otherwise he'll get hurt more. (Decision he took in the previous chapter, but that he meant to implement in this one…and failed. (Well, he still intends to try again next time XD;)
And unrelatedly: AAAHh, the chapters keep getting longer!! XD;;; *tries to make it a bit shorter* (This fic has already hit the required size to be considered a novel. XD;; *lol*)
The next chapter will probably be up next week-end… unless my Muses go crazy and it ends up getting ready by Wednesday... *is never sure* XD;;
.
NOTE: If you are wondering why Zero and Kaname both behave slightly differently than they do in VK, it's because while they are still the same people, they have lived very different lives from the ones they had in the normal VK storyline, so it inevitably influenced their outlook of the world and the way they react to various things:
Zero still grew up among hunters, but he wasn't present at the death of his parents, and was never turned into a vampire, so his hatred for the whole species never went to the extremes it has in the series. (The death of his parents was a tragedy, but the memory of the war was still somewhat recent too, Zero didn't lose everything like he had in normal VK, and as a result in the end it didn't have exactly the same effect.)
Imagine the sweeter Zero we've seen in flashbacks with Ichiru etc, and how he might have turned out to be if he'd grown up more self-assured and without the self-loathing and anger of turning into a vampire.
Kaname on the other hand, is of course still a pureblood and in part influenced by the way he was raised, but he has also been a slave for the past ten years, and is much too used to being beaten for no reason, so by now he knows to put up a mask of fake submission, and is a lot more careful than he was when he'd just been captured.
On top of that, Kaname didn't go through the same things he did in the manga, so he didn't get used as much to the same type of powergames and mental struggles from the same type of more cold/calculating viewpoint. The type of abuse he's suffered after the war was a lot more direct and lacking in subtlety.
To give a more exact idea:take the innocent and trusting Kaname from the flashbacks in the manga (yes, that Kaname that chairman Cross would say was so innocent and each time cutely fell for whatever story the chairman made up), and then imagine how he might turn out if instead of having had to learn to manipulate people under his authority, he was captured while still innocent and gentle, and was completely traumatized by years of abuse and slavery. (I'm going with the setting that vampires hit puberty earlier than humans, for survival reasons.)
Keep in mind this is AU, so a lot of the settings are different, some just a little, others a lot, so of course that inevitably affects how the characters are, even if they are still the same characters. ;D Certain details change.