A/N:

So, a little present thing before I go to bed :3 ..Am I doing it right? |D Don't hate me ;—; I got so many feels from writing this, but I promise it's not bad!

The color of red was all he could see; it trailed from the top of his chest all the way down to his middle abdomen, gushing by the second. The taller man scrambled to find something he could use to add pressure with, deciding on his jacket. Stripping it off, he bunches it up and places it all along the wound, trying to ease the flow of blood coming from the younger boy.

But even as he tries to keep him alive, he knows before he even starts. Unless some kind of miracle happens, Allen Walker is doomed.

"B-… Allen?" Kanda asks, voice wavering, timid. He's terrified; he's not going to hide from that. He doesn't want it to be this way, stupidly wishing it was him instead of Allen. At the sound of his name, the boy turns his head, faintly smiling. He has to be in all kinds of pain, and yet he's smiling. Unbelievable.

"Kanda…"

Kanda swallows hard, eyes locking with silver ones, glazed and tired looking. He can see the fear in those soft pools of grey, despite the calmness he speaks with. He's scared of dying. He's scared of leaving Kanda here, alone. A cold feeling trickles inside of Kanda. It's stale, still, and unwavering. He nearly loses his balance as it starts to pour into him, making him immobile.

"You… said my name."

Kanda can feel something breaking inside him. He knows what this means, and he doesn't want to believe it, but there it is staring him dead in the face. In less than five minutes, Kanda knows he's going to be alone. Just as alone as he was nearly ten years ago. Again.

I can't do this.

A pair of dark eyes shoot open, breath hitching to a standstill. The body that holds him immediately wakes upon feeling the discomfort of his lover, flinching at how cold he feels, literally shaking right in his arms. The room is dark, but for the light that finds its way through the windows. Allen can barely see his lover, but he feels him shaking and trembling like a scared puppy. It's so unusual that it almost frightens the boy.

"Kanda?" he whispers, voice tired sounding, but alert with confusion. "Kanda, talk to me." He's forcing himself to wake up faster, suddenly struck with deep concern when he doesn't hear the man respond.

The older man is still not breathing, still way far off into his own mind. What did I just dream? He's asking himself this over and over as he hears Allen try to get a response from him. Sitting up, he can feel himself shaking, trembling with…

Fear.

It is there, staring at him as dead serious as it has been for the longest time. And this time he can't look it in the face and say I don't care. He doesn't know why he had that dream just now, but he knows exactly what that means and that scares him. Allen was dying, right there in front of him, and there was nothing he could do but watch it happen, and stare into those soft eyes, still smiling as he bled out.

Smiling. Smiling at Kanda. Smiling for Kanda.

Something like anger, just a sliver of rage sparks inside him. That damned boy, he doesn't know how to feel anything but happiness and have an optimistic attitude even when he's dying.

"Kanda if you don't answer me right now, I'm going to get Komui." Allen is starting to panic now. He's looking down at Kanda, taking his head into his hands to look into those eyes of his. He looks so scared, and it's so not like him to be so seemingly petrified and so afraid that it starts to make Allen a little nervous.

At the younger boy's little threat, he starts to come back a little. He tries to breathe slowly, listening to that soft voice try to coax him to a calmer state, but he's not gained full control of himself yet. Suddenly he's glad he is with Allen now, because that was possible the worst feeling he's ever felt, and the fact that it's not the first time makes it even worse. Anyone else would hold this against him forever, but not Allen.

"… Allen," he says, practically gasping, as if he'd just emerged from underwater. Just one word and he can feel it again. The pure loss he felt in that dream was so real it stripped him of every barrier, wall, or anything that he could possibly use to hide how he was feeling right now in this very moment. He feels like he might just pass out from the pain that caused him.

Gripping the fabric of Allen's sleep shirt, he tears his eyes away, closing them as he starts to breathe more heavily, attempting to slow his heartbeat. Arms wrapped around Kanda, he doesn't quite understand what is going on, except for what he can piece together, and that isn't much. Kanda can't fathom the fact that this was all over Allen; these feelings rushing at him all at once becoming overwhelming. He loves this boy. He needs this boy.

He can't live without Allen Walker.