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I heard the noise of a phone ring in the distance, but ignored it. I was too tired to realise that it wasn't my phone, I didn't even realize that I was still sleeping on Sam's couch.

A few minutes after that I started to open my eyes, I could tell the arms that were wrapped around me from last night were gone.

I could hear Sam's voice from somewhere nearby, it must have been his phone that woke me.

I needed coffee and soon, I wasn't going to wait for Sam to get off the phone. It's probably just Oliver telling Sam about the game last night because he missed it. I got up and made myself coffee, still wearing Sam sweats and old academy t-shirt.

Thinking all night proved to be worthless, my brain still wrapped around the same question. Is this more than friends do? It feels like so much more than a friendship, we spend hours with each other every day. Ever since my first week on the job I knew there was something between us.

I knew something was wrong when he came sulking into the kitchen, he didn't say anything just sat down on the stool and ran his fingers through his hair making sure to cover his face expressions. Not even a good morning or how'd you sleep last night.

That phone call couldn't have been from Oliver, loosing forty dollars wouldn't have this big of an effect on him, it has to be something personal.

I shouldn't even be involving myself in the situation like this, but in the two years we've worked together I've only ever seen him act like this once, when he told me he was going to go undercover. That thought brought a cold shiver down my spine.

"Everything alright... You look, well bummed". I asked, even though I knew what the answer would be.

"I'll be fine, just need a minute". With that, Sam got off the stool and walked away. I heard him slam the door to either his bedroom or the bathroom, whichever it was he won't be out of there for a long time.

Not knowing who that phone call was from was torturing me. How could they crush Sam like that?

I couldn't explain to myself what I felt towards Sam, the only thing I know right now is being around gives me the tingles, his smile could make my day, and those little cute things he does just to make me smile leaves me in awe.

No one is going to Sam away from me, I will do everything in my power that I can just to keep him with me one more night.

...

I didn't know what to do, or how to react. It was such a shock, even though I should have been expecting it. After seeing Sam in Best's office with Donavon, I knew that my night mare was coming true. The one person that makes everything better would be leaving me.

Where would I go, where would I live, how can this be happening to me? As soon as I think something in my life is finally working out the way I want, everything comes crumbling down.

It was the drive back from work when he told me, he just let it out as if it was nothing. How could he do this to me, why...?

I tried to stay calm, to just think of one word to say, just one word.

"Oh, wow..." I said in shock, I couldn't handle it. I rested my head against the seat belt, closing my eyes. Trying not to cry, I could feel the blood draining from my face. It felt like it was -40 degrees in the truck. My legs felt weak and my head felt like a giant balloon.

"Andy, are you ok? Andy? ANDY?" I could barely hear Sam yelling even though he was right beside me, his voice felt a million miles away.

I felt the sharp turn of the trucks when Sam stopped the car on the side of the road abruptly. Air, I needed fresh air.

I still don't remember falling asleep, All I saw was blackness. I could hear someone trying to talk to me, the noise was just out of reach. My throat was too dry to say anything. I could feel someone moving the hair away from my face, shaking my arms.

My vision came back slowly, I was extremely confused because all I could see was light blue, everywhere. But those voices were coming closer, I could hear them.

"Andy, wake up. ANDY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?" It was Sam, he was yelling my name. I tried to reply but managed to make only a small whimper.

After a little time I could see and hear, I was now sitting up listening to how much I scared him. I don't want to talk, I don't know what to say.

I just wrapped my arms around him. I just needed to forget, just to forget everything that happened this week.

"I'm sorry" Sam whispers to me. How could Donovan do this to me?