Now that he had escaped from the hospital, Naruto was breathing more easily. Outside, all of Konoha sparkled, bright and colourful, under the afternoon sun. In direct contrast with it were the hospitals suffocating halls, dulled under florescent lighting, and stifling. He felt free again, like a burden had been lifted, and tripped down the street towards Ichiraku. He felt the sunlight seep into his skin, warming even the coolest, darkest places in his heart - the places afraid of his future, the places fearing the truth of his own identity, and fearing all the tension he now felt around his best friend. Uncertainty and confusion tainted his image of Sasuke now, but outside in the fresh air and heading out for an ordinary bowl of ramen, things seemed less complicated.

The blond boy hopped up to the ramen stand, taking in its familiar menu with relish, greedy for any sort of normalcy. Ayame, spotting him, quickly moved over to take his order. "No one paying for you today, Naruto?" she asked with a smile. She was one of his favorite acquaintances, because she never changed.

"Just me today! Smells great in here, though. I might be forced to fork over some cash!"

She gave him a look that said she doubted he could avoid it, especially now that he was sitting down and drooling over the menu. "So where's the rest of the gang today?"

Naruto choked a little on his saliva. "At the hospital," he chuckled nervously, "Where else?"

Concerned, Ayame leaned forward. "Nothing bad, I hope. What happened? Who is it?"

"Well," Naruto spread out his fingers, counting them off. "Kakashi's not gonna be out for a while, Iruka's gonna be there for as long as Kakashi is so he can keep him in line, Tsunade's probably still hanging around there, and I'll bet you anything Sakura and Ino are right there at Sasuke's bedside now that he's awake. As for what happened..."he trailed off, trying to find the best way to explain it. "Well, the long of it is long. The short of it is that, when Tsunade throws dinner parties, people die."

"Die?!"

The blond sighed. "Not really die. I was trying to be emphatic. It's more like people just end up in hospital for a few days."

Ayame rolled her eyes before looking at him expectantly. "So whaddya want?"

Kakashi was having the time of his life. Seated in the best wheelchair the hospital had to offer and sporting a grin that would make Naruto proud, he careened down the hallway and around a corner. It was almost like playing tag!

"Hatake Kakashi! When I catch you, you are DEAD!"

The jounin giggled. Well, death tag. That was one of the reasons he loved Iruka; the man was just so much fun!

"Kakashi, bring that kid's wheelchair back!" The pony-tailed teacher flew down the halls after him, not gaining any ground, but not losing any either. It was more apparent now than ever that Kakashi had an amazing amount of upper-body strength.

Kakashi turned his head slightly, "Tell her to come and get it!" O ho! Score one more for Never-Had-A-Childhood-Hatake!

Iruka was running out of words. He'd used all of his threatening ones, and his convincing ones, and even his pleading ones. Maybe there were some guilt-trips left. "You're being a bad role model!"

Wow. He shuddered to think about how stupid he sounded. Kakashi just laughed, and put on speed...noticeably. Which made Iruka feel that something very bad was about to happen.

The jounin was feeling good. Very good in fact. However, Main 3 was getting old - he'd already been around the floor at least twice - and they were coming up to an elevator. He thought about it for a moment, silver hair blowing in the breeze, before fixing his gaze upon the stairwell at the end of the hall, directly in front of him. Well, he was feeling very energetic what with all that rest. Actually, he felt like he'd had a whole lot of caffine. And the stairwell DID have a push door.

Suddenly Iruka understood. It was like he had been granted the power, for a mere half a second, to read minds. "No! No no! Don't you DARE!"

"Ahahahaha!"

The stairwell door flung open and down went Kakashi in the wheelchair - the best wheelchair the hospital had to offer - laughing all the way.

Having finished his ramen, Naruto had decided upon returning to the hospital. Sure, Sasuke was acting strangely - VERY strangely - but what kind of flake just left his best friend to suffer the boredom of the hospital alone? Let alone the agony of being visited constantly by girl after girl. Oh the horror! Certainly, someone would have to save him. And who else but Naruto? The Best Ninja Ever?

It wasn't always fun being a ninja. Sometimes people were killed. Or were forced to commit suicide. Or were captured, or defected, or were psychotic. Most of them had sanity issues, actually. Anyway, most of the time it wasn't fun. However, Naruto liked fun. Sometimes he was very aware of his amazingness as a ninja, particularly his ability to be sneaky. For one who wore orange, he was a very stealthy ninja. That thought alone was enough to bring a smile to his face and a tune to his lips. He began to whistle one of those good ol' familiar tunes that few people actually know the name of. Then he added words.

"Stealth...stealth. So sneakeh! Oh yes," he found himself whispering. "Stealllth, stealth. How is he...so sneakeh?!"

And so he sneaked and sang all the way back to the hospital, in through the front doors, and over to the elevator where he pushed the button and waited. "Ohhhhhh yes. It's 'cause he's sooooo sneakeh" he sang under his breath.

He tapped his toe in time to the beat of his theme song, growing impatient with the elevator shaft's inability to procure an elevator. Meanwhile, there was a lovely stairwell RIGHT next to him. Wasn't it a little shameful for such a sneaky, stealthy ninja to be sitting around, waiting for an elevator? Hadn't he already disgraced himself enough by using the door as a means to get into the building when it had always been covered in windows? And didn't he want to remain toned and in shape?

"Sneakeh..." The song died on his lips. Who would respect a fat ninja? Well, Chouji was sorta fat, but he made it work for him. Who would respect a fat Naruto?

The answer was immediately clear. Not even Naruto could respect himself if he was to lose his very sexy, very manly physique.

"Guess I should take the stairs..."

"Ahahahaha! You'll never catch me now!"
Thunk-ity-thunk-ity-thunk-ity
"Kakashi, this is a BAD idea!"

As he approached the stairwell door, Naruto could have sworn he heard a burst of maniacal laughter that was slightly familiar. Eager to walk off any weight issues, he didn't even hesitate before throwing the door open. Push doors were so convenient!

Kakashi rounded the corner expertly, passing the second floor with ease. He was actually handling the ride quite well, considering that he was still admitted to the hospital and was flying down a few flights of stairs in a wheelchair. He was going to make this last corner really count!

Naruto really couldn't believe his eyes as the opened door revealed a scene straight out of his worst nightmares. Out of the blue came Kakashi, bearing down on him, and there was little time for any sort of escape.

Somewhere, an elevator dinged.

"Quarantined?!" Naruto found himself shouting in disbelief.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Yes! Quarantined! Look at this mess!" She gesticulated angrily towards the busted wheelchair, the jounin sprawled out on the floor, and Iruka who was sitting against the wall with a twisted ankle.

"Hey, it's not like I was the nut who stole some girl's wheelchair and flung myself down a million flights of stairs!"

Tsunade had to acknowledge, to herself at least, that Naruto was right. She turned her wrath upon poor Kakashi, with a "You-!"

The blond boy perked up. "He's unconscious!"

The hokage leaned over and gave the man a tap with her foot. So he was. "Well, I think we should have him quarantined, then. And Sasuke."

Iruka couldn't help himself. He had to ask why.

"Because!" the woman bellowed. "I want to quarantine somebody, okay?!"

The hospital staff joined the two ninja seated on the floor in a questioning look.

"What?" she demanded.

Naruto looked pleadingly up at her. Then he whined. "I don't wanna be quarantined. It's not my fault two out of the ONLY three people in possession of the Sharingan attack me ALL THE TIME."

Tsunade rubbed at her eyes. This entire issue was getting to be so...well, she didn't want to think it, but seeing as she had little choice...it was just so tiresome. She could practically feel it aging her. Slowly, she turned her head to face the loveable little annoyance. "Yeah, yeah kid. You have a point. You really mean to tell me you didn't hear the freak coming?"

The student stared at her face. "Wait, which freak?"

"Kakashi! You didn't hear Kakashi and his, well, her wheelchair coming?"

Naruto gave her the most sarcastic glance he could manage. "Yeah, I heard him. Then I flung open the door and jumped into his lap."

"Thanks for that, brat." She found herself rubbing at her eyes again, and then stifling a yawn. This had to stop. Was this what old age felt like? It was only three o'clock, and she was already prepared to crawl back underneath the covers. Dealing with Naruto was, occasionally, even more painful than dealing with politics. "Well," she drawled tiredly, "You should just...stay out of trouble. Go eat some ramen, or something, away from the people you keep putting in the hospital."

Naruto found himself frowning and raising a hand to his blond locks. "But Sasuke just woke up. How many good friends do you think I have?" He realized how pitiful this sounded when Iruka looked up from rearranging his boyfriend's limbs long enough to shoot make concerned eye contact. So he changed tactics, adding a carefully crafted smile. "Besides, they've both really only been in for one visit each this time, so far."

Tsunade cocked an eyebrow, and she did not look amused. He stood up quickly, waving his hands to placate her. "That was a joke! I'm going to follow all the rules! Just after I go save Sasuke from the girls!"

Iruka hoisted himself up on his good leg and looked down - well, not down anymore, but it still felt like it - at his student. His little Naruto was growing into a man! But no cute thoughts; he had to be serious. "Naruto, you should put a little distance between you two." At the boy's contemplative look, he wondered whether or not he was being insensitive. "It's just that I think he really needs to recover. And I think you need some time to get your head together," he finished, his voice managing to sound very wise even to Tsunade.

Naruto knew immediately what Iruka meant by "getting his head together." Figuring out what Sasuke wanted from him really, that was a priority. But even harder to achieve than that was figuring out what he really wanted from Sasuke. It was just so confusing!

The hokage started waving her hand and him. "Off with you! You can see them all when they've gone home." Then she began snapping her fingers at the few medic nin lazing around in the barren hallway. "Why aren't these two being taken care of?"

In response, a small group gathered around Kakashi and checked him over before putting him on a stretcher and wheeling him back to the room he came from. One man approached Iruka who, after spending a minute or two swatting away hands and insisting that he was "fine," relented and allowed himself to be taken away as well.

"Wait." Tsunade stopped Naruto as he headed for the door. "What happened to Iruka?"

The boy looked thoughtful. "You know, I'm not sure. I think he was running after Kakashi, and-"

"Figures. Okay, now you can go home." The fatigued hokage began drifting further into the hospital, towards the elevators, before she stopped, back up several feet, and took a good look at the stairwell door. Maybe she should take a look. She had to wonder what the skid marks looked like.

Having watched her go, Naruto debated whether or not to try sneaking in to see Sasuke. The receptionist, whom he hadn't noticed earlier, was watching him warily. He sauntered over to her. "You know," he began, turning on the charm, "I have to wonder what a pretty girl like you is doing down here all alone."

She gave him a dry look. "I'm too old for you, kid."

Putting his hands on the counter, he peered over to look around at the things on her desk. "You're in league with the old hag, eh?"

The woman reached over and gave his hands a little slap before going back to work. "We're all in league with her. It's a conspiracy. Some people say she's the hokage," she quipped. Then she gave him a look that said quite plainly 'I'm watching you' and scuttled over to sit at another section of the desk.

Naruto sighed, turned himself around to face the doors, and rolled his eyes. It really was a conspiracy. Despite having a lot of respect for Tsunade, he couldn't help thinking that she was more than a little insane. "Quarantined!" he whispered in disbelief, just as the automatic doors opened in front of him.

That entire fiasco had lasted only a half hour, and he had no idea what he was going to do with the rest of the day. Usually he sparred with someone - usually that someone was Sasuke. Of course, he usually also had the option of sparring with Kakashi, or even Sakura, when she wasn't busy. Naturally, most of Konoha had to be in the hospital. What was he supposed to do? Spar with himself? That sort of practice, as one advanced as a ninja, became more and more useless. How was he supposed to surprise himself? In the end, against anyone, it was the element of surprise that made one successful, or terrible.

Maybe he'd go home. And eat more ramen. His stomach rumbled at the thought, but then he remembered what he'd been thinking just prior to the collision with Kakashi. Naruto looked sternly down at his stomach. 'Behave,' he thought. 'We just ate. Lots. And if we keep eating, you'll get big and we won't be nearly as sexy as we are now.' After that mental chastising, his insides seemed to be sobered. He felt the need to offer it some kind of reward.

"And," he added aloud, gazing down upon his abdominal region, "tomorrow you can have whatever you want for lunch!"

A passerby shot him an odd look, and, finally taking note of the fairly busy street that he was stopped in, he decided to brainstorm back in his appartement where there was no one around to mind when he chatted with various body parts.

Back at the hospital, Sasuke was feigning sleep. Sakura and Ino, after cooing for a moment or two over how adorable he was when he slept like that and wondering aloud how long it would take him to get feeling better, left him in peace. He heard their chatter fade away as they entered the hall, and then their exclamations of surprise.

"What happened?! Iruka, is he okay?"

So it was Kakashi, obviously. Probably injured. Which meant they were bringing him back into his room, probably to tuck him back into bed. Which meant there was little time left and he had to act quickly.

Making as little noise as possible, the Uchiha slid out of bed and left a flimsy clone in his place. It was no Kage Bunshin, but it just barely held up the sheets. That was all he needed. Along the floor he went until he reached the window. He gently pulled it open, threw himself gracefully out of it and closed it after him. A moment later, he could hear them moving Kakashi back into his bed.

Now that his escape was made, it was only a matter of time before someone figured it out. Given that this was a hospital filled with ninja, his time was very limited indeed.

Naruto was at home, desperately trying to "get his head together." He just had this feeling...like he had to have a plan of action. He needed to figure things out. So that's what he was trying to do. Sasuke was being all...aggressive. And...well, flirty. That was the biggest thing throwing him off. He was always the flirty one! What business did Sasuke have, molesting him and flirting with him? He was the king of put-people-on-edge flirtation. It made them uncomfortable, and touching certainly added a bonus to their reactions.

Maybe that was what Sasuke was trying to do. Make him uncomfortable...put him on edge. It was definitely working. That one day...when the dark-haired boy had ended up on top of him...well, he hadn't even really been sure which way was up.

How would he respond when Sasuke did it again? He just knew that it would happen. That kid wasn't acting strangely without reason, and he didn't think it was a simple chakra imbalence. When those black eyes looked into his...there was a fire in them.

Just thinking about it made him jumpy.

With that thought in mind, Sasuke's imaginary gaze searing into his skin, he got up from his seat at the small table and locked the door. Then he checked the windows throughout his house. The only open one nearly gave him a heart attack he was so anxious, and after shutting it he had to giggle. What was he afraid of? Sasuke was in the hospital, and boy, if he did show...

"I'd show him a taste of his own medicine. Nobody messes with Uzumaki Naruto." He felt secure, having made some decision.

But then there was a voice from behind him. "Is that so, usuratonkachi?"