*Disclaimer* I'm still not rich or English and if I owned the original story I would die from the pure association. I don't own any references but own my comments.

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Chapter 28: Breaking the Law

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 Lol what?

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak Wow the walls were black in a black room? I thought they'd be purple! with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. Um, I don't think it's legal to own furniture made of bones. I bet you could find some on ebay anyway! I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath. L-leather thong, the horror.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. I hope that meant she dispersed into teeny tiny little invisible pieces! So did Drako and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting More planting! his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. No one, and I mean NO ONE cares about your nail polish!

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot Is 'put' really that hard a word? his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. She smiled with her lipstick instead of her lips? How does that work? "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to cry Drink up! sadly. Vampire hugged him.

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. Wait who said this? Draco? Darko? Vampire? Loopin? Snape? Dublydor? "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped. *Grammar Alert* That should be 'course' not 'coarse'.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly, he clearly wanted to shoot us.

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I didn't know that you could replace tattoo's! I gasped. *le gasp* He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Dear God I think everybody looks like him to Tara's weird mind. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). Child pornography is illegal.

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock ...Spock? in my you-know-what and passively we did it. Feel the excitement of passive fails!

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111

Chapter 29: Brace Yourself

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111 This has been bugging me for a while now: Just what help is Raven giving?

"Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily. BANG! BANG! They're dead, let's celebrate!

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. *gigglesnort* We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket. Life Lesson: Never put caramel in your pocket, it won't end well.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily. What's with all the shooting?

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Draco demonded DEMONS! all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. The world leading center in fruit rehabilitation. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly. Snoopy? Snoop Dog? Who is this Snoop?

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. Google is superior to Yahoo!, if you disagree you can leave. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry Drink! And yes I'll continue with this game! all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111 No one would marry you, no matter how drugged).

I started to cry Drink! tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. Why for the love of all that is good in this world didn't they take out their wands then? They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand. Holy Mother of Narwals! Someone has an ACTUAL wand! You there, yes, you in the back! Owl the Daily Prophet at once with this ground breaking news!

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I think seeing Snape danceing a ballet in coustume would make my list of Top 10 Mentally Scarring Things. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry. Drink up!

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Who the hell is Evergreen? Remember the cideo u took of Snake."

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111 I'm going to be scarred for life, aren't I? Brace Yourself, the next chapter is sad...

Chapter 30: Rapping and Texting

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111 blah blah society sucks! derp derp blah goffic! That was a summary of Tara's note, I think it's quite accurate.

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. *chuckles* How does one 'loaf meanly'? He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle. WTF?

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11! That must have been incredibly painful to get, and painful whenever Voldemort makes it burn.

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1" They're going to rap?

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. Argh! *loud banging noises are hear for several minutes* He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist Fail) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. His hair is black in canon! I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive. Oh yes, How romantic those moments were. *eyeroll*

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I read this and I see Harry and Draco tied to posts while Snape dances around them in a strange animal costume hitting them with pies and chanting, "Ooga Boonga" over and over. In the background Ebony is dressed like Yoda. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted. Where does this endless supply of guns come from?

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand. AH! More wands!

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him….

"Crosio!" I shited *gigglesnort* pointing my wound. She cursed him with her wound? Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio. This is how I picture that conversation!

Ebony: Serious u lik hav 2 help us! Snoop is gonna rap Drako and mak him a prep!

Sirius: Who in the name of Merlin's Trousers are you? Moony put you up to this didn't he! I didn't mean to send that message, he didn't explain how to use this thing properly!

Ebony: Help me, drago needs help from snap lik rite now!111

Sirius: I'm on the run from the law because of a traitorous rat! What am i supposed to do?

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. *cries* But his name is Severus Snape, he's one person!

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go." I've come to a conclusion: Everybody in this story suffers from MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) which is why they all have 32.4 names!

A/N: Come on review! If you do I'll write an omake where Ebony meets the canon characters, just tell me who you want her to meet the most.