Here I am! Faster than I thought and just because I'm avoiding my responsibilities by sinking in mayukaga, I mean akakaga... or something. Just noticed there is other ppl shipping mayukaga, who would have thought? I thought I was the only weird one (laughs)
Update: An edited version because last one had lots of mistakes. Btw~ I read you are all shipping MayuKaga now and are sad because he won't get Kagami. I really don't know yet how to solve this problem, since I want both Mayuzumi and Akashi to get Kagami. So difficult. So I was wondering, what would you think of seeing the end split in two different possibilities, a "MayuKaga side" and an "AkaKaga" side? Or maybe should I try to make an OT3? Or change the whole theme of the fic and turn it to MayuKaga? If you have any ideas I'd be really happy to hear them. I won't stop you any longer, please continue to read.
Chapter nine: A light warmer than the sun
The names of the first string players were decided faster than expected. Maybe because Akashi already had the team he wanted, or maybe because he really didn't thought anyone in the third or second string could become stronger enough to be of any help in the Inter-high.
Kagami's name was, of course, not included in the list. From the immense group of third and second string members, only Mayuzumi had passed to the first string.
After the list was made public, almost all the members that were still in the third group and a big part of the second group abandoned. The training was too hard to not even being considered of any value, and since the first exams were happening at the same time, the decision of leaving become even easier for them.
Even with that, at the end of the week there was still a big group practicing in the gym with the aim of getting to the first group for the Winter Cup, or maybe the year after that. Most of the third years had renounced.
It was a lonely week for Kagami, and a hard week for Mayuzumi, who could not even clench his fist to vent his anger, frustration and loneliness, at the unfavorable results.
**The emperor's watchdog**
Mayuzumi's face hadn't changed, but the aura that surrounded him was more than enough to understand just how angry he was. He was like that since the list had been announced and he hadn't stopped being angry not even for a second. His inexpressive face made his looks even scarier, making the few people that noticed him, run away as fast as possible. It might as well be the emotion he had showed with more clarity since ever; no one could be fooled by his death eyes, they all understood pretty well that he was raging at the whole world.
He desired to kick Kagami for not fulfilling his promise, he felt the regret of getting to the first string even when he never wanted to, and he embraced death wishes for the captain that had made the definitive list way too soon.
Crossing his arms over his desk he buried his face on them, trying to think in something different but unable to actually do it, getting more and more convinced that falling in love was the unhappiest thing that could have ever happened to him.
**The emperor's watchdog**
- Taiga- the voice of Akashi calling his name took Kagami for surprise.
He hadn't expected anyone to stay behind until so late, and the fact that it was the captain only made it more shocking. The ball he was holding slipped and fell to the ground, as his red eyes looked at Akashi. The bright reddish light of sunset fell around him leaving a pitch dark shadow, so long that it caressed Kagami's feet.
- Akashi? What are you doing here? -He replied, too shocked to be as formal as he tried to be in the presence of the small redhead, and the piercing stare of those hetero-chromic eyes made him notice his mistake- I mean… c-captain what…?
- No need to rephrase that- Akashi stopped his stuttering, advancing two steps in his natural calm but imposing pace- Why are you still here? The club activities finished a while ago.
- Ah, I just…- Kagami jolted, not knowing how to reply without getting scolded.
- Speak up- the captain advanced a bit more.
- … I asked the senpai to let me stay a bit longer in exchange of cleaning up the gym- He finally replied.
- I see- Akashi lifted his head a little bit in order to keep eye contact with the tiger- Why to stay behind even agreeing to clean when you could go back with everyone? Moreover, when you most certainly need to study.
- I-I passed last week exams…- He stuttered what was supposed to be a strong comeback but that ended up sounding like a weak excuse.
- I know- Akashi narrowed his beautiful eyes as he spoke- And I also know it only prevented your expelling, not resolving the problems of your grades. You hardly passed those exams.
Wait… did those words mean Akashi had been paying attention to him? Before he could stop it, his lips parted in a lovely smile that surprised the smaller boy.
- What are you smiling for? This is serious- Frowning, Akashi insisted in a more severe tone.
- S-sorry, it wasn't like that… I just… I'm happy that you worry about me-
Akashi couldn't reply to those words as fast as he would have wanted. They were so sincere, so straightforward, and moreover, so true. And more important even, that was the smile that Kagami only gave to him, that smile that made him feel more special than anyone in the world and that filled his chest with a warm feeling of happiness.
- We are in the same class, it's impossible to ignore all the comments teachers make about your grades- As soon as he found an excuse he said it.
- T-that's right… Sorry for saying something strange- Kagami's smile got smaller and smaller, until it finally disappeared leaving Akashi with an incomprehensible soreness close to his heart.
- You haven't answered my question yet- He remembered, making the tiger jump back a little
- I… I just wanted to practice more -He dodged Akashi's gaze by staring at the floor, scratching his neck with his right hand.
- Do you think it was unfair to be left in the third group?- Kagami widened his eyes at those words, turning just a bit to scrutinize Akashi's expression
- I don't… I need to be stronger- He replied clenching his fists. He did felt mortified of staying behind, but he wasn't as stupid to blame Akashi or Mayuzumi of his own weakness.
- Why don't you just give up?- Akashi lifted the ball that Kagami led fall a moment ago, making it spin on the tip of his index finger –Maybe you just don't have what's needed for this sport.
His words weren't meant to break him. It was a simple question that asked for an even simpler answer, some words that could corroborate the reason of Akashi's interest in him.
- Because I love basket. Even more than before now that I've found awesome players like you- Kagami's eyes, far from showing the despair he expected, shined with a particular type of light. The light that had managed to get through Akashi's defenses- I just really wanna play with you again!
Akashi could literally feel his face warming up at those words. He quickly turned his back to Kagami, hiding his face so the redhead couldn't see his embarrassed expression.
- Well, Taiga Kagami. If that's what you want I'll give you another chance- He spoke as calmly as the strong heartbeats in his chest allowed him to- I believe you've been informed of the practice match the third group is going to have in two weeks from now. If you can show your possible value as part of the first string there, you might get there for the summer season…
- ...W-what? -
It was difficult to think that those words were meant for him, but since there was no one else in the gym, they had to be for him. They even had his name included. He was getting another chance of going to the first group, of fulfilling his promise of joining Mayuzumi. Even when the official list was already announced and with that his chance were supposed to disappear. But why? Why was Akashi giving him another chance?
- Besides being stupid, are you deaf? -Akashi insulted him, more to get rid of his own embarrassment than for actually hurting him.
- I-I'm NOT- Kagami raised his voice with anger at the comment, before lowering it again to add- I just… why?
- The coach said I need to add another person, even though I said it wasn't necessary- It wasn't a lie but it wasn't exactly true either –Don't think too much about it. If I see anyone more useful I'll chose that person over you.
- Thanks!- Kagami said, turning around to get in front of him and bowing in a whole 90 degrees angle say- I really appreciate this!
Akashi couldn't say anything to that, feeling awkward by the open gratefulness of the stupid freshman in front of him. It wasn't like he was doing it based on feelings only, he tried to convince himself. He wasn't biased; it was just because Kagami looked like he could be of help for the team.
It had nothing to do with the warm feeling he got when talking with him or reading the notes he had wrote, he repeated trying to convince himself.
**The emperor's watchdog**
- Isn't it great? - Kagami's smile pained him more than anything.
The news the redhead was telling him were actually worth of praise and celebration, for he also wanted to spend more time besides the tiger, and it was the perfect chance for them to be together in the first group. He should be happy.
But it hurt. And that beautiful smile that took his breath away was the only thing to blame for his pain. Because that lovely expression, the most beautiful of all the faces Kagami made, was never for him. It was a smile for Akashi and only for him.
- That's great- He finally managed to say, hiding behind his blank expression the soreness of his heart.
- I know, right? -Kagami's smile changed to his normal, charming but not as perfect, usual smile.
- You'll be able to play in the first string…- Looking back at his book, Mayuzumi tried to avoid involving too much into the conversation they were having.
- Yeah! We are going to play matches together! -Kagami smiled fantasizing about the possibilities that the new chance gave him.
- Great- Mayuzumi looked down. He couldn't concentrate in the letters before him, but he didn't wanted to hear Kagami's words either.
- And we can practice together- He couldn't get excited over those statements. The feelings of Kagami were different from his own; they weren't love but friendship. The words wrote in his book didn't entered his mind, his eyes re-read endlessly the same two sentences but nothing came in. He wanted to turn the page but he didn't even knew what he was reading, his fingers moved along the page edge over and over again…
- Just try not to get in my way- He teased in his usual tone of voice.
He wasn't prepared for all those feelings; he didn't knew how to deal with them. Since he had never felt like that before, he didn't knew the way of controlling the whirlwind of emotion that menaced to sink him. He had felt glad, frustrated, confused, angered, jealous, mortified, excited and sad, everything in an insignificant span of time… And it hurt.
Why was loving so hard?
- Like I would- Kagami laughed softly. His voice was so pretty… When did he even started thinking that way?
It hurt…
- Ah- The small sound that left his mouth came from the pain in his finger. He had cut it with the edge of the page.
- Did you cut your finger?- Kagami leaned forward to see- How unusual of you-
- Its nothing- He said moving away, but the cut, made by the repeated and even insisting movement of his fingers against the page was bigger than a normal paper cut, and some drops of blood fell as he tried to put it behind his back.
- Hey, that looks bad- Kagami insisted pulling Mayuzumi's hand closer to him, in order to watch it better- How did you managed to cut yourself so badly with just paper?
- Like I'd know…- He retorted, trying to pull his hand away the grip of Kagami's warm hand.
- It's still dripping blood… It's gonna stain everything-
- I say it's nothing… just let me go-
Without listening to his words, as self-centered as always, Kagami leaned forward, trapping his finger with his warm mouth. His soft lips tightly closed below the cut and the warm tongue cleaning the wound with slow movements to prevent hurting him more.
Mayuzumi's pain and confusion disappeared at once, being overwritten by an immense pleasure and an even greater bliss. The feeling of that warm mouth over his finger added to the face of the redhead that looked directly at him, was overwhelming. He wasn't sure if he was blushing, but his heart was beating too fast for his own good.
- What are you doing? -He raised his voice imperceptibly, trying to pull his hand back, but Kagami's hands wouldn't let him.
- It's gonna hurt if you pull out like that- Kagami talked as he continued to lick the blood on his finger. Those erotic words that he could only hear with a double sense were gathering the blood in a very inconvenient place.
- Just, stop it! It's disgusting- Even in his unexpressive voice, those words sounded harsh.
Kagami widened his eyes and opening his mouth, released Mayuzumi's finger. He seemed more surprise than affected, his red eyes looking for an answer on the blank stare of the older boy.
- Disgusting? Isn't this what people normally do? -Kagami asked without understanding- Or maybe in Japan they don't?
- What? -He asked back, unable to follow Kagami's train of thought.
- Back in America Alex always licked my wounds like that. Because saliva helps disinfecting and healing small wounds- He explained softly pointing his own tongue, slightly tainted with Mayuzumi's blood.
- T-that's stupid. What if you got sick doing that? -He snapped, still surprised by the familiarity in which Kagami talked about it.
- I never thought about that- He leaned his face to a side, still confused by Mayuzumi's reaction- I'm sorry, I didn't knew it bothered you…
He wanted to say that it didn't, but that would lead to places he didn't wanted to go… Not yet, maybe not ever.
- Just, don't do it again- He replied softly and Kagami promised with a soft smile to never do it again.
And Mayuzumi felt a bit disappointed by it.
**The emperor's watchdog**
The week that followed that, was a small hell for Kagami, since he didn't even had time to rest. When he wasn't studying he was practicing, trying to find a way of proving his value as a member of the team. He didn't knew what to focus on, for he was failing in a lot of aspects and didn't had enough time for everything; he needed to master something useful.
He ran in the morning, did the usual training on the third group and then stayed behind to play a bit by himself. Defense, attack, stamina, technique. There were lots of things he still needed, but just playing against the boys in the third group didn't helped. Only the occasional sight of the first string practice helped him realize how far behind he was from the level they had. He still needed so much more.
When the first week ended, every inch of Kagami's body hurt and he was too tired to move from his bed. His brain was overflowing numbers he couldn't understand and kanji that looked too alike to be legal. Thinking about that, he haven't been able to read the last book borrowed from Mayuzumi in a while…
Gathering the remaining energy on his right hand, he reached out at the little table where Mayuzumi's book rested and getting a hold of it, brought it to his pillow, putting it in front of his sleepy red eyes, hoping to understand something.
It was useless, he was too tired to understand all those damn scribbles… Why did Japanese had to be so damn difficult?
His eyes closed and his face fell into the book. He was too tired to move away, just resting over the soft pages. They had Mayuzumi's scent.
It was a scent difficult to capture, just like his owner, and for a moment, when they met for the first time, Kagami had thought Mayuzumi didn't had a smell at all. But he was wrong. It was faint and didn't had any peculiarity that would immediately bring memories or images to it, like Akashi's smell, but it existed, and it wasn't like any other smell.
He could find him anywhere because he had already captured that scent so particular of him…
The image that came to his mind when he smelled the pages, was of a peaceful river. A deep river that at first looked completely calm, reflecting whatever tried to look into it like a mirror, but full of dangerous turns and with a passionate flow deep inside. And that could be associated with Mayuzumi's changes. He wasn't bright enough to notice them, but he had felt them. He felt that something was different in the way those grey eyes looked at him…
He couldn't point what was it, but he knew it was something important.
The ringing of his own cellphone made him jump startled, getting away from the images of the river to get back to real life. If it was his father and it was something important, not answering could mean the same thing as death. Without even looking at the screen, he put the phone at his ear.
- Hello- He yawned his answer, waiting for the scold of his father.
- Kagami?- His eyes widened once more to the mumble on the other side of the phone
- Mayuzumi-senpai? -He asked, trying to remember in which moment they had exchanged phone numbers- What's up?
- Do you…- Mayuzumi voice stopped. It was already hard to understand him when he talked in such a low tone of voice, so he wasn't sure if he had just talked in a smaller tone or actually stopped. Not until he spoke again -Do you have any plans for this weekend?
- Eh, I just have to study… why?- He asked back, rubbing his eyes with his free hand
- I… wondered- The monotone in Mayuzumi's voice was making him feel sleepy again- If you would like to meet?
- Sure- He replied without giving it much thought, hardly conscious as sleep was taking him down again
- Really? Is tomorrow ok?
- Sure…-
- Then, do you know how to get to Nagaoka Koen? -Mayuzumi's voice made him want to sleep so badly… maybe because he didn't changed his tone or volume.
- No…- He yawned again.
- I'll send you the route later-
- Ok… I'll… wait-
- Are you sleepy?- His eyes closed, and the image of Mayuzumi came with his voice, looking down at him with those unmovable grey eyes
- Yeah…
- I see. Sorry for calling so late- He could see Mayuzumi sitting by his side as the words came to him from the phone…
- Don't mind…- Even talking was becoming so difficult…
- Have a nice sleep-
- You too…- he could almost swear he had heard the sound of a good night kiss on the other side of the phone before dozing off… But then again, it might only be his imagination.
**The emperor's watchdog**
Only when he woke up the next morning, he was able to confirm that the sudden midnight call was real. The message with the route to Nagaoka Koen had already been sent by the grey haired, with the times of the trains he must took and the names of the stations he should remember. Punctuality in Japan's trains was really convenient, Kagami thought as he checked the hour. He had enough time to make some lunches before going.
**The emperor's watchdog**
Following the route, Kagami was able to get safely to the park that Mayuzumi had invited him to. It was astonishingly wide, with earth roads around trees and an amazing central square, full of people. Trusting more on his sense of smell that on his eyes, Kagami found Mayuzumi sitting on a bench waiting for him.
It was the first time they met out of classes, and the first time Kagami had ever seen him with casual clothes. They were unexpectedly well selected and suited him very nicely, black t-shirt, white jacket and grey pants.
- Hi- He said. It felt different and somehow exciting; meeting him in other place than the rooftop or the school gym.
- Hi- Mayuzumi replied with the same word, getting up from the bench and looking up at him.
- I got here before time… how long had you been waiting? -He asked bluntly and Mayuzumi just drove his eyes away from him.
- Just a while ago- He mumbled as he started to walk to some place, being followed closely by the redhead
- I didn't knew this park… it's really amazing- Kagami tried to find another topic of conversation as the one before has just died.
- I figured that much- the silver hair of the boy fell over his face, hiding the small taints of expression that usually would help Kagami understand, even by a little bit, how he felt or what he meant- And you actually said that yesterday. Were you too sleepy to remember?
- Shaddup!- He barked back, frowning strongly- I was just… making conversation
- Then you could talk about the book you borrowed…-
- I… I'm sorry, I haven't read…-
- I see- Mayuzumi was really difficult to read, even more when he intentionally evaded Kagami's scrutinizing gaze- Have you found a way of getting to the first group yet?
The hard question came without any preparation, falling over Kagami like a rock. What could he answer when he was still as lost as the first day of the promised two weeks?
- I-I'm not sure…- He tried to fool him but Mayuzumi's eyes were sharper than his own.
- Idiot, there's only one week left, you know? -Even though his expression was the same, Kagami could totally see the sassiness on that reply.
- I know! But I just don't know what to do!- He yelled back- I can only do my best.
- Idiot! That's why you are an idiot- Mayuzumi stopped and turned around, forcing Kagami to make a sudden stop in order to not crash with him
- You don't have to say it twice!- He complained pouting just a little
- I have to, because you are an idiot- He repeated hitting him with just one finger
- Well the ones that say someone is stupid are more stupid-
- And what are you? A kindergarten boy? -He joked a bit, opening his bag to take out a ball for playing.
Just then, Kagami realized the place they had got to, was a basketball court, half of it still empty, for most of the children were focused in some baseball game on the other side of the park.
- Leave you bag. I'll join your training for a while -He said, dribbling just a bit around his body and between his legs, as warm up.
- Thank you! -Kagami's joyful face was the only thing Mayuzumi needed. Just being able to spend time like that was enough. Being in the same group once more should be even better, and just the thought of that gave him motivation to help him out even on his free days.
- Well, let's play a quick one on one. Then we'll look over the things you fail at. I just hope it doesn't take us all day- He teased as usual.
- I'M NOT THAT BAD! -He yelled, leaving his bags on a side before rushing to Mayuzumi side.
- Yes you are-
- Bring it on! I'll defeat you! -The red haired laughed a bit, focusing in the ball like a dog on a stick.
**The emperor's watchdog**
It was really late. They had monopolized the court for so many hours most of the people that wanted to play had given up and gone. They even forgot to eat, too focused in the heat of the game and the shared wish of getting Kagami into the first string to actually care about that.
They only stopped when they were too tired to even move, drenched in sweat and trembling in fatigue. Dragging their feet to a side, they finally let the other boys play and recovered their stuff.
- I have lunch- Kagami stated, breathing hardly- Want some?
- Sure- Mayuzumi replied, receiving the lunch box filled with Kagami's delicious handmade food. The smell gave him appetite enough to empty the whole box in an instant, just like Kagami with his own. It was undoubtedly the best food in the whole wide world
- Ahhh, so good- The red haired said, closing the box and stretching back.
- So, you need to focus in your defense. You're really failing there- Mayuzumi stated- Even more than in your attack, and that's a lot to say.
- I have a good attack!
- Dunking every single time is not a good attack –The white haired looked at him with a mix of pity and futility.
- Don't give me that look! -Kagami retorted frowning like a mad dog.
- Just, practice more your defense –The boy repeated, drinking the miso soup that Kagami had brought in a thermo.
- Right, right…- Kagami shrugged and drank his share of miso soup.
His lips placed on the exact same spot where Mayuzumi had put his own a moment before. Probably Kagami didn't even noticed, but the white haired couldn't help but stare at those lovely lips, which he had discovered in the paper cut incident, were as soft as they seemed.
An indirect kiss, he thought before shaking his head. He wasn't a primary school boy to get worked over by such stupid things…
- Thank you- Kagami muttered at the exact moment he was trying to get his eyes away from him, dragging his stare back to those smiling lips and shining red eyes- Today was really fun…
- You're so spoiled…- The white haired looked away as fast as he could.
He was too bright for his eyes to stand the direct sight of him for too long. He was like the sun, and he loved that. He was even warmer than the distant sun of spring.
Once more, love seemed like a beautiful thing.
**The emperor's watchdog**
The so long awaited match had already started, and it didn't looked good to him. Even though he had worked so much, his team was losing. Even when he was clearly better than the rest of his own team, and was able to stand a direct game with their opponents, the gap between their teams wasn't getting smaller.
And it wasn't only because of the lazy plays of his teammates. It was also his fault, as he had made a lot of stupid mistakes in the first quart of the game, too nervous by Akashi's intense stare and Mayuzumi's angry glare to move properly… By the second quart he was a lot better, but the mistakes he did before had let a gap too wide to close in a sole quarter.
When the middle time came, they were still ten points below the other team, and that because they had really made their best effort. Akashi sighed to that painful game that wasn't doing anything but prove that Kagami wasn't ready to be in the first string. Already thinking about going back, Akashi got up from his sit and walked out of the grades.
- Aren't you gonna watch tiger boy to the end, Sei-chan? -the motherly (or maybe sisterly) voice of Reo made him stop halfway.
- Tiger boy? -He asked lifting one eyebrow, eyes fixed on the black locks of hair that fell over Reo's face.
- Should I have said, your lovely tiger boy?- He smiled softly, clearly teasing him
- I thought I'd already cleared this misunderstanding. I don't like him- Akashi retorted faster than usually, making even more obvious the nature of his weakness to the perceptive second year.
- Yeah, right. And then why are you in such a lame game?- He asked playing with his longer locks, making him shiver a bit- By the way, tiger boy is looking at you. He must be wanting to tell you something~
Akashi turned as soon as he heard those words, his eyes meeting with Kagami's red orbs, for Reo was saying the truth.
- Such a fast reaction, how lovely- Reo teased him a bit more. He certainly didn't knew the word "limit"- Come on, you have to talk to him, go, go, go.
Just like a dominant older sister, Reo pushed the small redhead down the stairs and then left happily, making really hard for him to just walk away as Kagami waved to him before running to his side.
- Akashi-kun! You really are here! -He smiled as greeting when he was close enough to talk.
- I'm regretting it already- He replied harshly- You haven't done anything worthy.
- Don't worry! I will show you a play that would make you acknowledge me! A play worthy of being a player under the command of you as a captain!
- I'm not worried, and you are losing- Akashi spoke before Kagami could say even one word more, stopping him in the act. After a small pause he completed his sentence- Are you enjoying the fact of losing even know?
- Well, it's harder than I thought, but it's also really fun! -Kagami answered to the question with a soft smile.
- Defeat is the same as being denied- Akashi frowned a bit, talking more than he probably should, but being unable to stop his words- How can you smile like that? If you don't win you won't be on the first team.
- That's not a problem. I'll win! -Kagami's confidence shined almost as brightly as his smile. He seemed like the kind of guy you could rely on in the hardest moments…
- Then show me how you win-
And as if Kagami's words were an oracle of the future, he won. His team somehow got together in the last quart, when they were still 6 points behind, allowing him to break through the defense with his natural aggressiveness and score in the most flashy ways possible, almost always with a strong dunk. They ended up winning for only two points, but it was still a winning. And more important… that last dunk that decided everything, let Akashi notice pretty clearly the one ability that could make Kagami turn into a great weapon, even more than his charisma.
He wasn't good enough to be in the first team yet, Akashi thought, but he could easily get there before the year ended.
- Haha, Sei-chan you are smiling a lot~- Reo chuckled pinching his right cheek.
- Stop it- He slapped Reo's hand softly, moving it away from his face- I'm not smiling
- Yes you are~ Are you glad because tiger boy won?- He chuckled a bit more-
- I said is not that-
- Such a tsundere…
- I'm not tsundere
- Look at you being tsundere- The black haired continued.
Sighing as he couldn't win against Reo, Akashi looked again at Kagami's smiling face. He would make him a great player, not because he wanted to spend more time with him, just because he could then use it in his already excellent team…
Just because… he could be strong. Not because he could be the light he had always needed.