AN: Whenever an author posts an explanation for their long absence, I always find myself saying, yeah yeah yeah. So…I will just say this: I'm so sorry. For lack of a better explanation, life got the better of me as it is sometimes wont to do…and I'll spare you the boring details, but suffice it to say, two car accidents later, I'm hip deep in insurance claims and whatnot. Without further ado, here is the next installment of Forbidden. Enjoy and please review my loyal lovelies. Reviews make yucky poo poo things like car accidents seem a bit less poo poo-ey. :)
Chapter 10: It All Comes Out
Hermione resolutely sat herself down next to Harry, her blood thundering along in her veins like a runaway train full steam ahead. Harry knew. He had figured it out. She did not have to use legillimency to know this. It was written all over his face-in his caring and concern filled eyes, in his kind expression. She braced herself for the onslaught.
"So." He said, resolution and patience laced his voice. "You are in love with Professor Snape." It was not a question. Harry had formed this as a statement of fact, not as a query. Hermione looked him in the eye, and resolutely nodded her head once.
"Yes. Yes I am."
Harry let out a sigh that sounded as if it were coming all the way from his toes. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses up slightly so that he could massage his eyes- as if he could rub out any hint of misunderstanding from his gaze. "Hermione, I won't lie to you…I have no idea how this came about…and I'm not entirely sure I want to know," he said, proffering his hands out in front of him as if to stop her from explaining. "I just want to know one thing, and then, if you like, I'll say no more on the subject. Hermione…are you happy? Does he make you happy?"
Hermione sighed, and inexplicably tears formed in her eyes and threatened to spill over. She nodded, smiling widely, as if the action could counteract her physical response to someone knowing this secret that had been eating its way through her. "Yes, Harry. I am happy. Truly, truly happy. I haven't been this happy in a very long time. Severus makes me happy." she said, emphasizing his name. A tear trickled down her cheek and she hastily swiped at the offending droplet.
Harry's eyes appraised her critically for a moment, and then he sat back in the chair, his hands folded in his lap. It seemed he had accepted her at her word.
"Good. I'm glad. I guess, then," he smiled ruefully at her, "congratulations are in order. I'm so pleased for you, Hermione. For you and for him."
"Really?" Hermoine asked, her eyes bright with tentative happiness. She found it almost hard to believe that her friend would just accept her love so immediately. She had been primed for a fight, or a least a disagreement. She had not even thought about the possibility that Harry would be happy for her.
Harry raised his eyebrows so that they lifted up over the black frames of his spectacles and he grinned at his friend who stared at him so disbelievingly that he found it funny. "Yes really. You forget, Hermione, that I know you better than you know yourself. I can see it in your eyes that you're incredibly happy. And, truthfully," he shrugged, "It makes sense. To me at least. You're both so bloody smart. It would never have worked out with someone our own age. You're to brilliant to just shag whomever happened to be around. You deserve someone like him. Someone who can take care of you as your equal. I have admired Snape ever since I found out he was part of the order, ever since it was let on that he was a spy. He might be a right bastard to me, but he clearly cares for you, from what I've seen."
Hermione smiled and nodded in assent. "You're right. He does. He cares very much."
Harry smiled as well. "Is he in love with you?"
"Yes."
"I thought as much. Well, good for you both. It's about time you let someone into your heart, and it's way past time he let someone into his." Harry looked sideways for a moment and a flash of concern drifted over him. "Just…be careful Hermione. I support you wholeheartedly, but there are others who wouldn't. Ron for instance," he said as he rolled his eyes skyward, "I'm not exactly sure he'll be jumping for joy when he finds out. It might not be pretty, that." Harry laughed. "But Ginny's going to go absolutely barmy when she finds out!"
Suddenly the hilarity of it all, combined with the joy she felt at finally letting someone in on her secret caused a well of laughter to rise up within her. It bubbled and then burst the dam, laughter coming out of her in full force. She was laughing so hard that her belly hurt and her cheeks ached with the effort. Harry joined in her laughter and the two of them were beside themselves for several moments, a few of the portraits coming to peer at them curiously from their frames before moving on disinterestedly from apparent teenage issues.
Harry finally got ahold of himself and through a few hiccuping stammers got out…"I'm glad we can laugh about it. I'm glad you're not mad at me for finding out."
Hermione wiped her eyes and clutched her ribs as she puffed out, "Speaking of that…how did you find out? I thought I was being very discreet."
"Oh you were. But when you were both absent at breakfast in the Great Hall this morning, and when Ron mentioned how much you'd been working with Snape on your potions project, I just put two and two together. It just had to be him. There wasn't anyone else that fit the bill. But I don't think Ron's going to catch on. Not unless you spell it out for him. He's…"Harry waved his hand in the air, "A bit…preoccupied right now with, erm, Lavender." Harry sniggered.
"Ah, so he's back to being Won Won, is he?" Hermione asked with a snort. "Serves him right for breaking it off with her."
And so Harry and Hermione shared a companionable conversation for the next little while, Hermione delighted and Harry, still concerned, but much appeased.
Severus had just gotten out of the shower and was towel drying his hair when the floo call came. It came as no surprise to him when he saw the headmaster's familiar twinkle behind the half-moon glasses. "Good afternoon Severus."
"Afternoon Albus," Severus said smoothly while finishing the buttons on his frock coat. "To what do I owe this…pleasure?" he asked, his voice making it readily apparent that it was not exactly a pleasureful visit in his mind. He was not looking forward to this confrontation, and truth be told he was beginning to grow quite apprehensive. The balance of his sanity was held in tandem with his newfound relationship with Hermione, and he feared very much that something, anything would happen to ruin its progress.
"Ah yes. Enough pleasantries I suppose. No doubt you are wondering why I am here. I am wondering if you have a few moments to come to my office and discuss some things with me."
"Indeed. I shall be there at my earliest convenience. Let me just finish dressing myself and I shall be at your disposal imminently."
"Very good Severus." and the call was ended. Severus fisted his hands in his still damp hair and cursed aloud.
"Damn it all!" He shouted to the brick fireplace. With trepidation, he grabbed a handful of floo powder in his hand and flung it into the crackling flames in the grate and watched them flash green. "The Headmaster's office!" he bellowed, and in a whirl of green and ash, he was gone.
"Ah, Severus. Good as always to see you my boy." Albus greeted him kindly and motioned one long fingered, wrinkled hand in a gesture for Severus to sit. "Lemon drop?" he offered his customary sweet which Severus politely declined, having developed a strong distaste for muggle sweets after many a meeting with Albus Dumbledore.
"No thank you, Albus." There was a moment of awkward silence in which Dumbledore rooted around in the bag for the perfect piece of the tart candy he so favored.
"Ah, it is always a shame when I reach the end of the bag. They don't seem to know about cushioning charms in the muggle candy shoppes, and I always am saddened to reach in for one of the sweets to find only bits of crushed up drops to be had. Alas, such is life I do not always go as we planned them," Albus said, shifting his eyes so that the rested knowingly on the potions master. Severus raised an eyebrow impatiently and rolled his eyes in annoyance. Albus had a frustrating habit of talking in riddles when faced with a difficult conversation.
"Yes, yes. I assume we are no longer talking of sweets?" Severus quipped crossing his arms over his chest. He could almost hear his own nervous heartbeat and his mind took him briefly back to a story written by a muggle author named Edgar Allen Poe called 'The Telltale Heart'. He certainly felt like it was echoing off every bloody knick knack in the room.
"Perceptive as always Severus, my boy. You are right. I am not merely speaking of sweets, though they are a lovely topic of better than the weather when at a loss for words I think."
Severus huffed impatiently. "Get on with it old man."
Albus smiled, ignoring Severus' biting remark. "My boy," he began, staring off over somewhere beyond the potion master's head. "It has not escaped my notice that you seem to have become rather close to our Miss Granger." Albus then turned his gaze on Severus, his blue eyes seeming to see right into his heart.
"Yes."
"May I ask, Severus, is this relationship you have developed with her something more involved than a mere teacher-student involvement?" Severus heart clenched, and he fisted his hands in his robes. Albus wasn't pulling any punches. He swiftly rose from the seat across the desk and swept over to the windows, bracing his body against it, his black stare gazing out at the grounds of Hogwarts, the castle which had been his home since he was a small boy. He knew that nothing he could say would counteract the fact that the omnipotent Headmaster knew everything anyway. He could no more lie to Albus than he could to himself.
Albus was aware of the conflict within Severus. He had known this tortured man since boyhood, had gained his trust as a teenager, and then had required the ultimate sacrifice from him as a young man. And now, he was asking Severus to do something that was unthinkable for the potions master. Albus was asking him to admit to an illicit relationship with a student…a relationship that was grounds for termination of both his position and hers.
"My boy, I have no intention of causing you strife. But I do feel like there is something you'd like to tell me. You have known me for many years Severus. There is no need to fear judgement from me."
"Allright!" Severus cried, facing his father figure, and his employer for the first time in several long moments. "Allright I admit it. Yes, Miss Granger and I have been engaging, as you say, in an illicit and distasteful….relationship, if you will," he spat, his voice barely level, his gaze murderous as he felt all of the blood drain out of his face. His shoulders rose and fell sharply with the effort of keeping himself from blowing up the nearest bauble or bric-a-brac in the office around him. His breath came out in short, forceful huffs through his nose, his nostrils flared.
"Severus, please calm yourself and sit down. We have much to discuss…." Albus responded to Severus' outburst with absolute calm. "I am well aware of your relationship with Hermione Granger. I have been aware of it for a while, but seeing as you seemed to be so happy, I left well enough alone. However, it has become increasingly apparent to me that you two have grown closer than I could have possibly envisioned." The headmaster sat back in his chair and steepled his hands in a characteristically Dumbledorian pose. He gazed at Severus over his spectacles with gentleness. "My dear boy, out of anyone I know, there is no one more deserving of happiness than you, Severus." he said earnestly. "I take it that you are happy, that Hermione makes you happy?"
Severus' body relaxed a bit, his shoulders returning to their normal position rather that straining up by his ears. His mouth went back to its usual thin line and his gaze returned to a softer expression as he resignedly sat himself down once more across from Dumbledore. "Yes. Yes she does." His eyes were focused down at his hands which he found were very uncharacteristically fidgety in his lap. His right hand worried at a callus on his left thumb as he waited for the Headmaster's response to this news.
Dumbledore nodded slowly and smiled genially at his former student. "Ah, yes. I thought as much. Well Severus, I am sure you are aware that Miss Granger, while still in actuality a student, is well past the age of consent. She is also, as I would assume you would agree, far more mature than most young women her age given all that she's gone through the past several years. Hermione is one of the most brilliant minds we've seen in many years at Hogwarts. Perhaps, you will be loath to admit, even more brilliant than yourself." Severus' lips twitched a bit at that comment. If he was completely honest with himself, Albus was right. Hermione was wickedly brilliant, frighteningly so. If he could be honest he was in awe of her most of the time. Never before had he met anyone, man or woman, who was his equal. "Severus, you are a man who has kept his deepest and happiest desires locked away, out of necessity, out of duty, for most of your life. The war is over, Voldemort gone forever. You must open up your heart and learn to let others see you in a different light, for only then will you be able to embrace the light as you step out of the darkness. I will trust you two to be…discreet then, until graduation that is. After that, have at it, and with gusto!"
Severus looked at Dumbledore with a mixture of shock and joy on his face, an expression that was hard to come by for Severus Snape. "You mean to tell me that you are simply going to look the other way…condoning this, Albus?"
Albus Dumbledore smiled slightly at Severus. "Condoning what?" And then with a twinkle in his eye he went about shuffling the papers on his desk. "Have a lovely rest of your weekend Severus. Oh, and don't forget the staff meeting on Monday morning. The elves have prepared a lovely repast for the faculty to enjoy."
Severus flooed back to his quarters feeling lighter than the air itself. He smiled as he stood and looked at his bed, the sheets still in disarray from the mornings activities with Hermione. "This must be what happiness feels like." he thought. And the Potions Master broke out into a wide smile.
Later that evening, Severus was grading some papers in his office when he heard running footsteps in the corridor outside of his office, and all of a sudden Hermione uncharacteristically burst in through his office door.
Severus would normally have greeted her in his usual haughty manner with a playfully sarcastic comment on her rudeness or a simple arched eyebrow, but his mood was too light for such behavior this evening, and truth be told he was too anxious to hear what her friends had said.
"Oh Severus!" She cried as she slammed and warded the door behind her.
"What is it Hermione?" He asked, noting that her eyes were sparkling with what looked like tears. Uh, oh, he thought. Something has gone badly.
Hermione got ahold of herself and sat herself down across from her and nodded her approval when he offered her tea, their usual habit at these nightly meetings. Only, she thought, so much has changed. "So," she started, after taking a grateful sip of her tea, "Harry definitely knows. He figured it out." She played with her tea spoon nervously as she waited for his response.
Severus sat back in his chair and raised an eyebrow. "And?" he asked trying hard not to betray his anxiety.
"He…he was so…supportive!" Hermione cried, practically slamming her tea cup down on his desk, the brown liquid sloshing over the rim and onto the mottled wood.
"Indeed," Severus responded, looking at Hermione's joyful face with affection. "I must say I am as surprised, but not disappointed. This is a very good thing that you have support from a friend. It will make it easier later when we reveal our relationship to the whole world. At least one person won't have their wand directed straight at my bollocks." he chuckled darkly as he pictured Minerva's face on just such an occasion.
"Oh, don't be silly. One would hope that's not…wait…did you say when we reveal our relationship?" Hermione asked, her voice filled with trepidation, not daring to hope.
"Hermione, I spoke with the Headmaster…" he broke off, not knowing exactly how to continue.
"Severus," Hermione spoke for him. "He's all right with it isn't he?" Severus nodded, a smile blooming on his face. "Oh Severus…" Hermione's voice broke and all at once she threw herself into his waiting arms and she felt her heart soar as she felt him crush her to his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and was overwhelmed with the deepest snese of comfort and happiness she had ever felt.
"Hermione Granger…I can only thank the Gods above and below who have brought you to me. Never in my whole wretched existence did I ever think I would be allowed to have this kind of happiness. And now you're here."
"Yes Severus. I'm here," she stroked her hand through his hair, entwining her fingers through the silky strands as she brought her face closer to his. "I'm here and I'm all yours." she said, her voice becoming slightly husky, emanating from deep inside of her.
Severus groaned and moved his head down so that their foreheads were touching, their lips inches apart. "Oh Hermione…you are going to be the death of me witch," and their lips fused together in a searing kiss, and Hermione was doubly grateful for the silencing charms she had placed on his office as she proceeded to prove to Severus just how much she belonged to him.
TBC!
Ah me. So there you have it. A bit of angst, a bit of fluff, and a tiny teeny weeny lemon slice for you. More lemons to come. Hope you enjoyed. I'm going to tryyyyyy to update as often as my schedule allows, but feel free to PM me with a little nudge to get my arse moving…or to just say, "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOU SS?" Either one will probably get me going, although politeness is always appreciated. :) Till the next time, thanks for reading, and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
SexySloth