I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT WHAT SO EVER! STEPHANIE MEYER RIGHTFULY GETS ALL THE CREDIT! I OWN NOTHING!

Hello again everybody! Here's another update for my beautiful story, Raw. I hope you guys enjoy it! THANK YOU AND REVIEW!

Chapter 9

Reconciliation

The upcoming days were nothing short of torturous. Paul absolutely refused to acknowledge me. Not a word was spoken ever since my confession And I couldn't blame him. I couldn't. But as the days passed, Paul ignoring me the entire time, I was overcome with more and more guilt. Most of it was from the fact that mine and Paul's relationship was likely shattered, but even though we were over—or it seemed that way—I still couldn't bring myself to hate the Cullens. If anything, I still had strong feelings for all three of the brothers. And I hated myself because of it.

It has been exactly a week since that fateful night. The entire pack knew that Paul and I were on extremely rocky ground and they were fully aware of the reasoning behind that. Most of them were unsure what to make of it. Jared seemed to be the only one that had taken a strong side. Being Paul's best friend made that inevitable.

All my other brothers, though, had no idea what to do. Just about everyone couldn't look my in the eye, though they were civil when they wanted to be. I couldn't help but feel a deep loss, not only for Paul, but for my entire pack.

Embry was the only one that acted remotely normal towards me. I needed his friendship now more than ever. Currently, I was walking down the beach on the usual cloudy day with Embry walking beside me.

"What am I going to do, Embry?" I moaned forlornly. "I've fucked up everything and I don't know if I can make it right again."

Embry sighed beside me as we settled down on the driftwood tree overlooking the ocean.

"I don't know," he stated honestly. I whined, my shoulders slumped, as I stared out to the sea.

"Do you think what I did was so wrong? It's not like Paul and I were even together when all that stuff happened with Jasper and Edward. I wasn't even cheating on him."

"True," Embry conceded. "You didn't cheat on him with Jasper or Edward, but you did let Emmett fuck you after you two got together."

"Please don't remind me."

It was silent after that for a few more minutes, both of us trying to absorb my fucked up life.

"Do you love him?" Embry asked quietly.

"Who? Paul? With all my heart and soul. True, I didn't love him like a lover in the beginning, but after we got together, I couldn't help but fall hard for him. And it's not because he has the hottest body I have ever seen. It's because he would do anything for me without question. He was possessive and protective. And even though you guys never saw it, he was an absolute sweetheart. I truly had do choice but to love him…"

I broke off as my mind ran wild once again; thinking about what all Paul did for me.

"That's good to hear," Embry said when I was done. "It's good to hear that you still love Paul, but I wasn't talking about him."

I glanced at Embry, confused. He returned my look, his gaze pointed. As soon as understanding set in, I vehemently shook my head.

"I don't love Emmett, Embry. Nor do I love Jasper or Edward. I don't know how to explain it. I don't feeling anything for the Cullen boys. Not love anyway. Or even lust. But I do feel something for them. I don't know what it is, but there's something there."

I paused to gather my thoughts, Embry waiting patiently for me to continue.

"It's not like how I yearn and crave for Paul. My thoughts are always on him. But when I see or smell one for the Cullens, I'm consumed by thoughts of being wrapped up in their arms, to be kissed to within an inch of my life, and yes, to be fucked like there's no tomorrow. But after a while, those feelings just vanish like they weren't even there."

"Did you tell Paul that?"

I sighed as I turned my attention back to the ocean, the waves calming my frayed nerves somewhat. "Not to that extent. I told him I didn't love them. But he asked if I had any feelings for them. I couldn't lie to him anymore. But by then, he was too angry to listen to anything I had to say." I wrapped my arms around me, my eyes glistening with unshed tears when I glanced back at Embry. "I don't want to lose him,' I whispered. "I love Paul so much, Em. I can't lose him."

The dam finally broke as the tears started to fall.

"Oh, honey," Embry cooed. "Come here."

I cried harder as he pulled me into his arms, allowing me a shoulder to cry on as he rubbed my arms and whispered reassuring words. I didn't know how long we stayed like that. I honestly didn't care. I just allowed myself to cry until I had no more tears to shed. Embry was silent the entire time, putting in a word here and there to clam my shuddering sobs. I wasn't more grateful before to have a friend like Embry.

"Do you wanna leave?" Embry asked suddenly.

I glanced up, my tears long ago dried up. He didn't say anything. He just glanced over his shoulder. I followed his gaze, my heart stuttering.

Just a few yards away was Paul, sitting on the soft sand as he watched the waves. Sitting beside him was Jared, watching along with him. I've only caught a few glimpses of Paul here and there for the past week. Now when I finally had a chance to finally see him, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions.

Love.

Want.

Guilt.

Sorrow.

"Do you?" Embry nudged gently.

I sat up slowly, trying to compose myself and to calm my fluttering heart. "No," I answered as I ran my hands over my face to rid myself of any evidence of my tears.

"Are you sure?"

I gave Embry a small smile. I leaned in and gave him a hug, once again thankful for our deep friendship. My smile widened when Embry returned the embrace.

"I just want to talk to him," I reassured him. "Things have calmed down a little and I want him to hear what I've told you."

He nodded as he helped me to my feet. "Only if you're sure."

I nodded again as I glanced over to where Paul and Jared were, my heart once again fluttering.

"I'm sure," I answered. "But only if you come with me."

Embry nodded as we both made our way towards our pack brothers; all the while I was trying to keep my emotions in check. It was surprisingly harder than I thought it would be. When I was within feet of them, I took in a deep breath, preparing myself foe what was to cone.

"Paul."

My voice was strong, unwavering, a surprise even to me. But his reaction was not. He acted like I hadn't even spoken, his eyes staying straight in front of him, his body unmoving. But I knew he was aware of my presence even before I spoke. I saw his ears perk, his nose flared, and his arms tightening around his knees.

Jared, however, was a different story. His body was tense like Paul's, only his eyes were set in anger. His lip was curled in a snarl. I bit my lip, not wanting to meet his eyes and witness the accusation there.

"Get the fuck out of here, Jake," he snarled maliciously. "No one wants you to be here, especially Paul."

Embry growled dangerously beside me as he took a threatening step forward.

"Shut the fuck up, Jared," Embry barked, his eyes blazing. "This is between Jake and Paul. The last time I checked, you weren't either of them."

Jared turned his gaze from me to Embry, but he refused to step down, meeting his eyes bravely.

"Fuck off, Embry. The last time I checked, you weren't either of them either."

"No, I'm not," Embry agreed smoothly, "But Jacob asked me to come. I didn't hear Paul say you can stay."

"Doesn't matter. I'm his best friend. I can stay no matter what."

"And I'm Jake's best friend," Embry snarled as he took another step forward. I rested my hand on his arm and shook my head. He gave Jared another death glare, but relented he stepped back. Paul remained completely passive, nothing telling me that he was paying attention to the near confrontation. He was like a statue, completely still. I took a deep breath and walked closer, feeling Jared's angry eyes on me the entire time.

"Paul," I began. "I can't express to you enough how sorry I am. How sorry I feel. I know that I hurt you. Badly. And I know that I could never relieve that pain."

I took another deep breath along with another step. I was now standing literally in front of him. I felt my hands shaking, so I folded them across my chest, hoping to hide them.

"But that doesn't mean I don't want to try. If you'll give me the chance, then I will spend forever if I have to in order to make the pain go away."

Like before, I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks to fall at my feet. I felt my knees shaking so I slowly lowered myself down in front of him. I bit my lips hard as I became eye-to-eye with my boyfriend. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but yearn for him even harder, to taste him once again.

"I told you before that I don't love the Cullens," I continued. "I don't. Not even lust, Paul. But I do feel something. I really don't know what it is. Maybe curiosity, I don't know. But all I'm consumed with are thoughts of you. All the time and all day. I can't escape you, Paul. Nor do I want to. I—I—I love you, Paul."

With a start, I realized that was the first time I had ever uttered those words clearly and concisely for him to hear. And listening to his hitched breath, I knew he realized the same thing. Tentatively, I rested my fingers on his arm. I was astounded that he didn't rip away from my touch, but he didn't move closer, either. I never knew he could be so still, so quiet.

"I love you, Paul. So much, I do. All I want to do is curl up in your arms, to feel protected and loved. I can only hope that I can do that again."

Urged on by my touch, I raised my hands to rest on his cheeks. I held my breath as I rested my forehead on his, our noses just touching and our breath mingling.

"I love you, baby," I whispered softly. "I love you so much, baby. And all I can think about right now is tasting you again."

Forgetting that Embry and Jared were watching, I kissed my boyfriend. I whimpered as I once again was able to taste him. Pleasure shot through me, my cock hardening from the mere touch of him. Suddenly, I heard a low growl before I found myself on my back, staring wide-eyed at Paul who was above me, his eyes blazing. Before I could say or do anything, Paul's lips crashed into mine. I gasped loudly in surprise at the intensity behind the lip lock. I moaned loudly as I felt Paul grip my hips, groping them roughly in his strong hands. My breathing accelerated as Paul absolutely dominated my mouth, not giving me a moment of reprieve.

"Well, we'll leave you two to work out your problems," I heard Embry utter. In the corner of my eye, I saw him grab Jared by the arm and shove him away from us, all the while protests flying from his mouth. A sharp nip to my ear caused my attention to snap back top Paul, who was a flurry of motion above me.

Nothing was said between us. Nothing needed to be said. We let our bodies speak. His movements were nothing short of possessive, angry, and pure dominance. I submitted to him, baring my neck and immediately feeling his lips and teeth paying every inch of my skin, making me as his once again. I knew he was more wolf than man now as I heard the continuous chain of unbroken growls and sharp teeth scraping against my flesh. My wolf allowed him that, content with the fact that his mate was marking me so no one else could.

A whine escaped me when I felt Paul tugging at my shorts. I lifted my hips so he could remove them properly. Swiftly he did the same, and with no preparation, he impaled me in one thrust. I arched completely off the ground, my mouth open in a silent scream, giving Paul the opportunity to pillage my mouth again. I clawed at his back, my nails breaking skin, painting them red, only to heal up seconds later.

Paul gave no mercy. He thrust hard and fast, primal instinct driving him forward. I couldn't do anything but take it. I wasn't complaining, though. I relished the burn, craving more of it. I pulled him closer, my legs wrapping around his waist to pull him deeper. I panted harshly, my eyes closed tightly, as Paul bit into my neck, breaking the skin like I did him, spilling blood down my chest and shoulder, dripping to the sand beneath us. I quivered in pleasure.

"Say it again."

My eyes snapped open in shock. I haven't heard that deep voice in a week. I mewled as I turned my head to look at him once again, my eyes hooded in bliss. I was confronted with Paul's dark eyes inches from me locked onto mine, his lip curled over slightly in a small snarl. He was so close to his wolf, I could practically see it pacing back and forth in his eyes. I bit my lip as I tilted my head back, asking silently for a kiss. He shook his head, and gave a hard thrust, causing me to cry out.

"Say it," he demanded. I didn't need to ask. I knew what he wanted.

"I love you," I whispered softly, unable to break the eye contact. My heart jumped when I saw the slight curl of a smile on his face.

"Again," he repeated, the word accompanied by a single thrust into my body before stilling.

"I love you," I obeyed, wanting him to continue this torture.

"Again," he growled, the word once again accompanied by a single thrust.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I—oh fuck!—love you."

Over and over it went, a single thrust accompanied by the single word. And each time I gave him what he wanted. My complete and utter devotion. Neither of us broke the eye contact. I didn't think we could even if we tried.

"You hurt me deep, Jake," Paul's voice said suddenly.

"I know," I whispered as I clung to him tighter.

"You gave me scars, Jake. Scars that I'm sure aren't going to heal quickly."

"I know. I know."

"I shouldn't be doing this. I should be angry with you, despise you for what you did. Fucking the Cullens, even while I was professing my own love for you. I shouldn't be doing this."

My brows furrowed, worried that he would stop right this second and leave. I don't know what I would do if he just walked away. It would shatter me, leaving me unfixable.

"But I do love you," Paul muttered in a voice so low, I could barely hear him. "And I want to do this. I'm still angry with you, but I can't hold back my desire for you, Jake. I meant it when I said I loved you ever since you joined the pack. A passion that strong just doesn't vanish. I could just fucking murder the Cullens for what they did, but right now, all I want to do is plow into your tight ass again and again until we're both milked dry and spent."

I moaned loudly at that, shivers running through me when I heard his deep chuckle. Suddenly, Paul flipped us over so that I was straddling him. I rested my hands on his chest to gain some balance, Paul's grip on my hips tightening.

"Ride me, baby," Paul snarled. "Ride me like a fucking horse."

I didn't even think, I just did. Like there wasn't an interruption, I found my footing and starting working myself on Paul's dick. In the position, I could feel how deep he went and every single of inch. I grinded against him, wanting him to cum. We were both close, my cock weeping as it bounced between my legs. I longed to fist myself to bring me over the edge quicker, but I forced my hands to remain on his chest, knowing that I did not deserve the pleasure. This was all for him. I could wait.

I gasped when I felt Paul's warm hand grip me, my movements stilling slightly before picking back up. I panted harder as he jerked my harshly in his hand, his wrist twisting at the tip before he dug nail in to the slit. I couldn't help my hips bucking.

"Are you close, baby?" Paul panted beneath me. I nodded frantically, wanting to be put out of this misery, only by him. "Do you want to cum?" he asked.

"Yes," I whined as I rode him harder, the ruthless sounds of skin slapping skin filling the air. "I want to cum so badly right now."

"Good," he smirked. The hold of my hip tightened, stilling my movements entirely.

"Uhgn," I grunted as his other hand fisted me quickly, my hips once again thrusting into his hand on their own accord. Paul suddenly sat up so that we were both sitting up, the hand holding my hip now curling around my waist, helping the movement of his thrusts, which were so conveniently aimed at my prostate. I howled in pleasure, throwing my head back in utter rapture. Paul's lips attached themselves to the expanse of skin available, kissing and licking everything you could reach.

"Cum for me, baby," he wheezed shallowly. "I need you to blow your fucking load for me right here. Cum for me now."

Not a second passed before I did just that, my seed shooting out to land on his chest and both our stomachs, my own chest heaving for breath. My body convulsed in violent shudders as my orgasm ripped through me, setting every nerve ending I had on fire. I tightened my hold I had on his shoulders and neck, needing something to hold onto so that I didn't float away.

"Oh, fuck!" Paul shouted, his movements stilling as he spilled into me. I moaned as I felt him jerk inside me. Like me, his body was wracked in shudders, his hold tightening almost painfully around me. I licked as his neck, tasting salt and sex on his skin.

After what seemed like an eternity, he laid me down gently on my back. When I was settled, he curled his body around me like a snake, his arm and leg thrown over me as if to hold me still and to keep me from running. Fleeing was the furthest thing from my mind right now. I had Paul back in my arms finally, and maybe now things could go on as normal once again.

We watched in silence as the sun, once high in the sky, started to dip down below the ocean, sending beautiful streaks of pinks and reds into the sky, reflecting on the water's surface.

"I'm sorry," I muttered after so long. Both of us were calmed down a while ago as we watched the sunset. I heard him sigh heavily beside me before his arms pulled me to rest into his side. Quickly, I relaxed my head on his chest, hearing the strong heartbeat there, my own stopping once again to pick up pace with his.

"I know, baby. I know."

I curled into him again, hoping that I could somehow crawl inside him so that he would never disappear. The gulls cawing far away and the ocean lapping at the sound lulled me, my eyes drooping in fatigue. I was warm and save, like it should always be.

"Sleep now, Jake," Paul whispered, his voice muffled like he was deep in thought.

And once again, I couldn't deny his request, darkness quickly settling over me before I even knew what happened.

Well, there it is. It looks like Paul and have finally Jake made up. But please don't count out the Cullens just yet! I said I had a plan, and by golly, I'm gonna stick to it! Anyways, I'm sound to announce that there is only one chapter left:( Maybe two if I plan this right, but right now it's looking to be that this is the second to last chapter in my story. I'm debating on whether or not to have an Epilogue, but I don't know. I guess we'll find out;)

Anyways, THANK YOU AND REVIEW PLEASE! YOUR REVIEWS MAKE ME UPDATE!