"The boy's alone in the family room" Hotch said as he and Morgan walked back to Strauss and Lilith out the front of David Smith's house.
"Where are your other agents?" Strauss asked referring to Reid and JJ.
"Covering the other side. They have an eye-line just in case somebody tries to sneak out the back" Morgan explained.
"Is there any sign of the nurse or the dad?" Lilith asked.
"No" Morgan said softly.
"So what are we doing here?" Vic asked.
"We call in S.W.A.T., Secure the perimeter, and wait for him to come out" Strauss ordered.
"Ma'am, he's holding a woman inside" Morgan argued.
"We don't know that for certain. We don't have probable cause" Strauss argued.
"She's right" Hotch admitted.
"If he's got her, he waits 48 hours. He's not gonna kill her yet" Strauss stated.
"He's changed the pattern of the dump sites, and now he's changed how he abducts them. Do we really want to gamble that he's sticking to the rest of the model?" Morgan asked heatedly.
"So let's pound on the door. Maybe he'll panic" Vic suggested frustrated.
"But he could spook just enough to kill her early" Hotch explained.
"Let me go in alone. The boy's in the family room. He'll answer the door" Lilith said making Hotch look at her.
"No" Strauss said firmly.
"We need to get invited in that door. He's looking for female authority figures. If he lets me in, I can signal as soon as I see anything that gives us cause" Lilith argued.
"Technically, you're not even in the FBI" Strauss stated.
"All the better" Hotch said agreeing with Lilith.
"She's interfering with a federal investigation" Strauss argued annoyed making Lilith crack her neck slightly.
"Well, if I'm no longer in the FBI, then you have no authority over me. I'm just a civilian knocking on a little boy's door" Lilith said simply knowing Strauss couldn't do a damn thing to stop her.
"Fallon" Morgan said handing her his gun from his ankle.
"Thank you" Lilith said taking the gun and tucking it into the back of her pants.
"As soon as you have probable cause, give us a signal and get out of there" Hotch said giving her a radio to press that will buzz them when she needs them.
"Everybody knows what we need to make this arrest legal" Hotch said to Strauss as they watched Lilith walk towards the front door. She knocked on the door lightly before it opened to reveal a little blonde haired boy.
"Hi. Are you David? I'm Lilith, your dad asked me to come by" Lilith said bending down to David's height.
"He's busy" David said simply.
"Would it be ok if I came in and waited?" Lilith asked softly.
"I guess" David said shrugging and left Lilith into the house.
"Thank you" Lilith said as she walked in and David closed the door behind them before locking it.
"My dad says it's unsafe to leave your door unlocked" David explained to Lilith.
"Smart man" Lilith said dryly while Morgan moved around to the back of the house to where Reid and JJ were waiting.
"Fallon is in. We're waiting on her go" Morgan said tossing them a bullet proof vest each.
"What?" Reid asked worried but JJ placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort.
"So... Where is your dad?" Lilith asked looking around the house alert.
"He's working in there" David said with a sigh and pointed to a door down the hallway.
"Is he alone?" Lilith asked but David didn't reply.
"Would it be ok if I just let him know I was waiting?" Lilith asked eyeing the door.
"He doesn't like me to go down there when he's working" David explained.
"Oh, no, you don't have to. Um, I just gonna go and see if he's too busy. And we can both be really quiet, ok? Can you be quiet?" Lilith asked softly and David nodded as Lilith walked into the room and pulled out Morgan's gun. She saw the nurse tied up by her arms before spinning around to get hit in the head with a piece of wood making her drop the gun.
"Who is this? Where did she come from?" Mr. Smith demanded as he picked up the gun and pointed it at Lilith as David walked into the room.
"She said she was a friend of yours" David explained as Lilith looked around trying to clear her blurred vision and grab the radio that Hotch gave her.
"Take this. Take it! It's ok. Just... Point it right here" Mr. Smith said giving David the gun and making him point it at Lilith before grabbing Lilith's arms. Lilith struggled slightly but was still dazed from the blow to the head. She managed to grab the radio and signal Hotch and the team. They broke down the door and came into the room quickly.
"Drop the weapon, son. Give me the gun" Hotch said pointing his weapon at David, who was scared and pointing his weapon at Hotch.
"Fallon" Morgan said grabbing Lilith and pulling her away from Mr. Smith.
"Do what they say" Mr. Smith said to David and he lowered the gun before giving it to Hotch. Hotch picked up the boy while Morgan and Vic cuffed Mr. Smith and JJ helped the nurse down.
"Are you ok?" Reid asked helping Lilith stand up.
"Ah, I'll be fine" Lilith said reassuringly to Reid, grabbing his hand tightly with a smile.
"I'm calling an ambulance" Reid said he helped her leave the house.
"You're dying, and this is what you want to leave your son?" Vic spat at Mr. Smith as they looked over at hearts from his victims. Once the ambulance had arrived Reid sat next to Lilith while they patched her up and gave her some stitches.
"How's your head?" Hotch asked walking over to them.
"I'll live. Is it weird I'm glad to be back?" Lilith joked.
"I'll make sure it stays official" Hotch said simply before leaving Reid and Lilith with the medic.
"How's she doing?" Strauss asked walking over to Hotch.
"She's gonna be ok" Hotch said.
"You know, I can't officially approve of how this transpired, right?" Strauss asked.
"No. The arrest was clean. It would be a mistake to break up this team" Hotch said firmly and Strauss sighed agreeing with him.
"None of you will ever move up the chain of command. You know that" Strauss explained.
"Why would I ever want to leave the B.A.U?" Hotch asked before walking off.
"Hotch. You mean that? You're not gonna leave us?" Morgan asked.
"I don't know. I gotta talk to Haley" Hotch said walking off.
….
Lilith had just gotten in the door and dropped her bags when Hotch called her.
"Not another case?" Lilith joked.
"Haley's gone" Hotch said numbly making Lilith open her mouth to say something but had nothing to say.
"Do you… do you want me to come over?" Lilith asked worried as she sat down on her lounge.
"No… just… I don't know what to do" Hotch stuttered softly when there was a knock at Lilith's door. She walked over and opened it to reveal a teary Reid and a letter in his hand.
"Reid?" Lilith asked worried.
"Gideon's gone" Reid whispered sadly as Lilith look at her phone.
"Aaron…" Lilith started to say but was cut off.
"It's okay, Help Reid and we can talk tomorrow. I got to find out what's going on with Gideon" Hotch said before hanging up. Lilith put down the phone and walked a shocked Reid to the lounge.
"He's just… gone. I drove to his cabin and he left me this note and that… that was it" Reid explained in shock and Lilith wrapped her arm around Reid's shoulders and pulled him into her so that his head was resting on her shoulder as she read the letter out loud.
"I knew it would be you who would came to the cabin to check on me. You must be frightened; I apologize for that. I never meant to cause you any pain. And I also never envisioned writing this letter. I've searched for a satisfactory explanation for what I'm doing. All I've come up with is: A profiler needs to have solid footing, and I don't think I do anymore. The world confuses me. The cruelty, indifference... the tragedy. When my dear friend Sarah was murdered, it tore a hole in me. and I truly believed the way to handle the pain was to get back to my work as quickly as possible. Get on to helping somebody else. I thought I could handle Sarah's murder, work through it. But the very first case we had after, was out on a college campus. You see, I met Sarah at College, on a campus just like that one thirty-one years ago. Campuses are supposed to be places of life and excitement. They're supposed to be about the future, figuring out who you are, who you're gonna be. They're supposed to be about dreams, not nightmares...about hope. I really don't understand the world anymore. All homicide scenes are tragic. But when the victim is someone young, their life ripped away before they've even had a chance to live...it's devastating. In this line of work I was afraid that I would lose the ability to trust, but I've realized that I can't look at anyone without seeing their death. And as bad as losing faith in humanity seems, losing your faith in happy endings is much worse. How many victims have we seen? How many crime scenes? Hundreds? Thousands? Pictures of families, victims - both alive and dead… I was always able to stay objective, to stay at arm's length, but now, all I see is Sarah. Nathan Tubbs was easy, but there was a time in my career when I would have asked the question I should have asked: Was it too easy? The biggest trap for a profiler to fall into is pride: forgetting that for all your skills, profiling is just a tool. It was like you could physically feel the mood change on the campus. Kids...they're so resilient. They trust and believe in a way I can't reach any more, like a very old picture. You remember the circumstances, but the feelings, the emotions, they're just out of your grasp. They believed in us. They believed in me...the way Sarah believed in with me. And, as with Sarah I believed that I led them right to the slaughter. What was I even doing there? how many times have I told you that a profiler cannot do the job if the mind is unfocused? That if anything was going on in your personal life it would cloud your judgement. My mind has never been more unfocused than it was on that campus. Did I let a lion loose amongst babies? Was my judgement clouded by a need to make someone pay for Sarah's death? Two more dead. Was it a price that needed to paid? Is death ever worth it? Was the world always this grey? Is it only in the movies that it's black and white? Is that just an illusion? I used to know. I used to understand my place, my direction, where I was headed... Profiling requires belief: Belief in the profile, Belief in yourself. After Sarah, I no longer trust myself at home. After Tubbs, I no longer trust myself in the field. And without that, I have nothing. And that was the last domino: the death of that girl, Hotch being suspended over something that was my fault. I said at the beginning of this letter that I knew that it would be you to come up here. I'm so sorry the explanation couldn't be better, and I'm so sorry it doesn't make more sense. but I've already told you...I just don't understand any of it any more. I'm sorry" Lilith read as tears fell down her cheeks and she could feel Reid sobbing quietly into her neck.
"It's okay… it's going to be okay" Lilith whispered kissing Reid's forehead, feeling helpless.
"Why did you leave?" Reid asked after a few moments of silence. Lilith bit her lip and sighed, knowing she had to tell him the truth.
"Strauss tried to use me. She wanted me to feed her information on Hotch so she could fire him. She threatened to fire me because of my past. But I still refused to do it so I left" Lilith explained as Reid looked up at her.
"It had nothing to do with me?" Reid asked confused and Lilith placed a hand on Reid's cheek lovingly.
"No" Lilith said simply before kissing Reid softly. Reid deepened the kiss and pulled Lilith close to him as if he was scared she would leave again.
….