Author's apology: I am SO SO SORRY! I clicked the wrong document by mistake! Just for that, I promise at least one more chappie tomorrow. I'm sorry for unintentionally teasing you all...I really DO have chapter 10 ready! So here it is. :-D
Author's note: This chapter is a bit more introspective than most, but we have a chance to delve into Carlisle's thoughts and memories, and that's always fun! :-D
Jake sighed happily as he opened the door to the garage. He knew it was partially joy at the weekend, at having two full days to work on his car - his baby - but he also had to admit that he was hoping his mystery girl would show up. He'd been ribbed incessantly about it by Paul after he phased yesterday and the pack caught her image in his mind.
"Oooh, Jacob's got himself a cute little someone! Why'd ya hold out on your pack, Jake? Afraid she'd find out you're not as much of a man as some of us here?" The teasing, while sharp, had been good-natured so instead of tearing Paul to shreds he only bloodied him a little. Still, he had been a bit relieved to revert to human form, to the silence of his own thoughts, so different from the cacophony of the pack mind. He was also glad it wasn't his weekend for patrols. It gave him two full days of peace and quiet unless he chose otherwise. Stretching out full-length under his car, he grinned at the knowledge that he'd chosen solitude and some alone time. He had music, snacks, his four-wheeled baby. And maybe, just maybe, he could catch another glimpse of his silver-haired nymph. Life was good.
Evening fell, darkening the sky and chilling the air that ruffled his golden hair. Carlisle was relaxed, laying on the damp grass in the backyard and feeling the teeny tiny raindrops spatter his skin. It was one of the true pleasures he indulged in since his change. The inability to feel cold made it so much easier to simply enjoy nature in all her glory. From the house he could hear the occasional splash and quiet moan as Bella enjoyed the nice hot bath he'd drawn for her, insisting she relax and let the waters soothe her admittedly well-worked muscles. He was determined not to break her but rather to find her limits and help her expand tham. Dancing, for example, was a delight he knew she'd take to like a duck to water once she became a bit more confident in herself. It was...unusual, with a human. He'd not been introduced to the lifestyle of a trainer until after his own change, and all of his previous pets had been immortal as he lay there on the grass, he once more sent a silent thought of thanks to the woman who had taught him. He chuckled to himself as he thought of what Bella - indeed, his entire family - would say if they knew he'd learned his methods at Caralla's knee. He thought back to the beginning, the start of it all. He'd been young then, not even a century old, and she'd seemed so worldly, so exotic and sure. There had been a time when it was all new that he fancied himself in love with the stunning vampire, but it had been a short burn as they founf themselves falling effortlessly into a deep friendship. Sometimes he found it shocking that they'd never become intimate - especially when he considered the years spent at her side, learning all he could from her about unlocking the potential of the psyche through sensuality and reassurance. They'd often shared pets and playmates, but never each other and though she'd teased and flirted with him he knew she was just as happy with the way things fell together as he was.
It was Caralla who had explained the difference between a master and a trainer, and it was a distinction Carlisle had never forgotten. Even now, laying out in the open air, he could recall her voice with perfect clarity.
"You see, Carlisle, a master seeks to uncover the submissive within, to free the person from their fears and to help them understand their need to be dominated. A trainer, however, is a different creature entirely. To a trainer there is no submission, no dominance. It begins as such simply because it makes the transition easier on the pet to couch the lessons in familiar terminology. A trainer, however, is a friend. An equal. Someone that the pet can go to, rely on. They have compassion enough to understand that everyone needs someone.
"To a trainer, 'pet' is only an endearment like 'sweetheart' or 'darling'. The relationship is built on trust, but continues through love. If you do not love your pet, then you will never be able to help them tap into their full potential. A pet is never a toy, never a pleasure slave. If that is what you are looking to create, then you are asking the wrong person for assistance.
"The sole purpose of training is to assist the pet in uncovering his or her own fears and insecurities and overcoming them. You help them, hold them, show them that the world - though sometimes harsh - has beauty and love enough for everyone. You aid them in breaking through their walls to find the worth within. Some methods will work better than others - this too is unique to each pet. Find their point of comfort and work from there. If sex works, that's wonderful. If art yields better results, or meditation helps more, that is wonderful as well. Get to know your pet so you may better help them to know themselves."
He'd never forgotten what he'd learned at her side. When he finally left to seek his future, she'd given him a kiss, a hug, and a smile.
"You have an entire world to uncover, darling. Don't let your past shadow your future. Rather, let it illuminate your steps so you might not falter or stumble."
He sighed, raising his arms up to pillow his head. He'd taken her advice to heart and though there had been difficult patches, he was truly happy where he was. It wasn't until he'd been in America a few decades that he realized her true gift to him. It wasn't techniques or lessons, but belief. She had always believed in him, and that gave him the strength to believe in himself. When he met Esme, fallen in love with her, he'd been reluctant to bring up his past. But seeing her struggle, watching his beloved hurting and trying to cope with loss and pain, he knew he could help. The pain would never go away, he knew, but it would lessen in time. She responded to his faith in her, blossoming under his love and understanding as he'd done so many years before under Caralla's unwavering trust.
Carlisle closed his eyes, thinking if his mate; the amazing, outstanding woman who had deigned to share eternity with him. What he'd done to deserve someone so incredible he wasn't sure, but every minute since she had come into his life he counted as the most awe-inspiring blessing he could have ever imagined. How he loved her! She had come to him in the woods the night he'd all but begged Bella to accompany him to Greece. He remembered his own chaotic thoughts, how he struggled to make sense of the pull this human had over him. Trying to explain to his wife, he'd stumbled over his own words and thoughts, mortified at his complete lack of mental control, terrified he would say the wrong thing and chase his beloved Esme away. When he'd admitted as much to her, she just laughed gently.
"I'm not going anywhere, Carlisle," she'd murmured, amusement in her voice. "I have no fears. A connection as strong, as all-encompassing, as the one between you and Bella...I'd be more frightened if you'd told me you were insisting on fighting it." He'd been unable to respond the that, the sincerity in her eyes burning the words before they'd left his tongue. She had taken that moment to enfold him in her arms, and he remembered feeling the last of his resistance begin to ebb.
"Now, go make your plans," she chuckled, stepping back and giving him a gently shove towards the house. He leaned down and tasted her lips, pouring all of his love and gratefulness into the kiss. Eventually they separated and a smile and a gesture from her had started him walking home.
"Oh, Carlisle?" He recalled turning around, puzzled by the lust simmering beneath her gaze. "Make sure you don't wear her out totally. We're all going to be going through Bella withdrawals the entire time you are gone, and I'd hate to think we had to hold off on our pleasure until she is mobile again. Especially Edward." With that, she had grinned and left him to his thoughts and plans.
The sound of water draining brought him out of his memories and back to the present, and he climbed to his feet at human speed and began heading back towards the house. His darling Bella was done with relaxing. It was time to get her a meal and a drink. Perhaps tonight he'd see if she cared to watch a movie, or play a board game. He was as intent on helping her grow mentally as he was on enjoying her physically. As he approached the house, he caught a glimpse of her through the bedroom window. He stopped and watched as his enhanced vision followed a single water drop from her upswept hair down the sinuous curve of her back, slipping easily over the curve of her derriere, tracing its way along the smooth skin of her oh-so-amazing legs. Smiling as his mind imagined chasing the drop with his lips, he reminded himself once more that it wasn't all about sex.
~That may be,~ her voice tickled his mind, ~but it's a hell of a perk.~ Laughing quietly in agreement, he headed into the kitchen. She was hungry, and he knew just the thing.