"Thalia, just put it in already! It's hard to hold this thing in." Nico moaned loudly.
"Be quiet! We don't want any one to hear us doing this in public! It's immoral, illegal, and...oddly exciting." Thalia wiggled her reached down and grabbed something hard, making Nico cry out.
"Stop! We don't need this bag to rip! Geeze, it's already bad enough that we're burying these guys in garbage bags. If the bag rips, the blood's gonna drip out, and there'll be evidence."
"I know. This isn't the first time I've had to bury a body." Nico froze, thinking of the poor person who had to live through that.
"Dalia! Nico!" Hadrian cried out, running towards them at top speed with his shield.
"What?" Thalia asked, instinctively reaching for her spear.
"I found..."
"Yes?" Nico asked, creating a ball of shadow in his hands.
"It's bad."
"What?"
"The cotton candy machine. It's broken." Hadrian held up a staff from the zoo, tipped with an eagle's head, covering from the bottom up with cotton candy.
"First, cool staff. Second, how did you get the cotton candy all over it?" Nico asked, clearly confused. Hadrian blinked twice, bit into his staff, then replied.
"The machine's broken. I hit it on the top, it went PQQROOOW and then cotton candy fell over the screen thingy, so I twirled it on my staff."
"Hadrian." Thalia began, her hand on her temples.
"Yes?"
"Don't break anything else. And, if you're going to steal, go empty out the cash registers and get me a soda." Thalia snapped her fingers and sent him on his way.
"Smooth." Nico's voice oozed sarcasm.
"What?"
"We're trying to teach him to...I don't know, not steal, to start with!"
"Nico. We have four days to travel to gods know where to save the freaking Minotaur, or face certain doom."
"What about the flying boar?"
"I remembered that Chrysaor actually is the flying boar. I'm glad he was in his human form though. Made it easier to kill him." They dumped the bodies in the grave that Nico had dug and geokinetically replaced the dirt. They walked slowly towards the gift shop, where Hadrian was stuffing all the toys he could find in his pockets. They talked for a few moments about what to do next, but decided it would be smartest to leave and hit a hotel or Annabeth's.
"Let's go to a hotel!" Hadrian laughed in the car, licking cotton candy off of the eagle staff.
"Why?" Thalia asked, counting the $1258 Hadrian had...obtained.
"Because, hotel's are fun! Like road trips!"
"Son of the god of travelers..."Nico let off.
"Whatever. Just keep your eyes on the road."
"...Yes, Mommy."
"Hey, don't make me call you Daddy. Zeus AND Hermes would blast you to pieces."
"No, Hermes would turn me into a snake, and Zeus would send himself down as an eagle to eat me, poop me out, and then blow me up."
"Very creative. Best scenario you've made so far."
"Thanks."
"Guys?" Hadrian asked, fidgeting in the rear view mirror.
"Yeah?"
"I gotta pee."
"Nico, pull over so he can run into some alleyway and pee."
"No! I'm afraid of alleys! Percy told me about his brother who got attacked by a Pink in the alleys!"
"Oh, yes, because Pink is that horrible of an artist." Thalia laughed.
"Well, she doesn't do much punk, so yeah. What if we drop you off in a restaurant and wait outside?" Nico proposed.
"No! I can't go pee alone! What if some monsters come at me in the bathroom?" Suddenly, a lightbulb lit above Thalia's head. As in, she had an idea, accidentally let out a spark, and lit up the lightbulb on the passenger side.
"Nico, honey?" Thalia put a hand on Nico's cheek and began rubbing it gently.
"Oh, gods. Run, Hadrian! She's gone crazy!" Nico joked, locking the car doors just in case.
"Go pee with him."
"What?"
"Yeah, go with him so he doesn't feel so alone."
"And then what? Take him to McDonald's fifteen minutes past breakfast and hide him from social workers? I'm not Big Daddy. You go pee with him."
"So...you'd rather have a little boy see your weak girlfriend's private...parts, than go with him and keep him safe?"
"First, he's not pubescent so he wouldn't care that much. Second, I'll go, if you promise to do something for me later..." Nico winked.
"...Take him, or you'll be wearing a racing stripe when you wake up tomorrow." Nico immediately pulled over at Thalia's...request, and took Hadrian into the nearby Walmart. They ran into the bathroom and stood awkwardly, not sure what to do next.
"Maybe you should get in the stall instead..." Nico opened the door and lead the child inside. A moment later, there were two sounds that amazed him. First, was Hadrian peeing and going 'Ah. Thas better.' and the second was a woman yelling 'HELP ME! A BLACK BEAR IS ATTACKING!' So, as any normal demigod would do, Nico pulled his sword out of the ground and formed his shield, ran out, then came back in. He heard the metallic clang of Hadrian's shield hitting the bathroom tile and nodded. He ran out and came face to face with a hellhound, with chocolate smeared all over it's face.
"Huh. I thought chocolate killed do-" The hellhound began barfing everywhere, hitting the harpy over head and the spiky projectile that flew towards Nico. He bounced it off his shield and into the wall, drawing a knife from his pocket. He threw it at the harpy, making it explode into golden dust. The knife fell, and, unfortunately, the hell hound had looked up, mouth still open, to see what had happened. The knife fell into its mouth, down it's throat, and stabbed it's uvula. It whimpered then also exploded.
"Freeze, son of Hades!" A voice sneered, and another spike embedded itself in the floor in front of him. A manticore and a Laistryagonian appeared from behind a cash register.
"Wait, wait, wait. How did I miss you guys standing there?" Nico laughed, picking a spike off the floor. He threw it at the Laistryagonian, who tried to dodge it, only to fall onto Nico's discarded knife. He muttered something like 'Oh shi-' then blew up.
"You've only used that knife for one attack. So much carnage for it though. No wonder my master wants your student." The manticore threw its self at Nico, tossing spikes around like a giant gross of bottle rockets had went off all at once. Nico dodged, deflected, parried, and even limboed under the spikes.
"Will...you...stop?" Nico stabbed it through the head, causing the manticore to scream. Wait...that was...
"Nico!" Hadrian screamed. Nico turned around too late, and watched helplessly as a harpy carried Hadrian through a broken window. Nico sat there for a moment, on the virge of tears. Then, suddenly he did cry. He crumpled up onto the floor and cried like a child.
"Thalia's gonna kill me!"