Author's Note: Update on 04/22/07. Prior to your reading, just letting you know that the relationship descriptions next to the remaining teams have changed, thanks to some advice from an author to an earlier chapter; just try and get over how different it is, lol… I'm warning you all right now…this is a really strange leg; the location was really difficult to place for where I'd planned it. But nevertheless, it somehow worked out…
Review Answers:
SSBFreak: Yes, indeedy, it seems that the freakishly unreasonable has occurred! Eheh, but that aside…you really shouldn't try to be so flattering! I envy you for the fact that you're able to make a great race WITHOUT all of this excess detail—something I'm sure would be pretty much impossible for me to accomplish since I'd probably go nuts with the lack of extra elements…
Yoshi Hoshi: I wouldn't enjoy being caught in a sandstorm, either…good thing the actual race doesn't force the racers to continue through anything like that. …Man, it's just so neat that you're able to pick apart different elements and relay how you feel about them like that back to me…predictions and facts together like that… Let's see…a Ztar is a Mario Party element that has been used, if I'm not mistaken, throughout the series. Except for one of its first usages, it basically takes away one of the player's/team's stars when it is obtained. It's like you get something really useless and shiny, but you get something important and shiny taken away. Heheh…
writingactor123: Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it!
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Loading the Memory Card in Slot B… The save file in Slot B has been loaded!
…
Previously, on the Amazing Race…
Seven teams of two raced from the flat Clayouse Mesas into the sandy desert of Chomp Fields. At the airport, the two allied mismatched teams found themselves in a bind when one team would be on a flight, and the other would have to search elsewhere.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but we have no more tickets left for the mega-copter."
At the small town of Quicksand Falls, teams were met with an eating task that revealed who was used to spicy foods and who wasn't.
"Goodness me! I have no idea how you are able to handle such strong tastes, Zessy…" Toadsworth moaned, his eyes watering.
"Beldam, I have no idea how you're handling this so easily…" Andy stated, taking a large swig from his glass.
Seconds after receiving his plate, Flare downed every single scrap without breaking a sweat.
While trying to reserve space for a charter, sisters To and Too squared off against brothers Hamma and Flare.
"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?" Too demanded.
"Seriously. We got here first for the reservations, so you shouldn't try to cut in front of us." To warned.
"These ticket agents are meant for everybody, girls. She's going to help us get on that charter right now." Hamma replied smartly.
Throughout the leg, mismatched partners Andy and Beldam scrambled for position against the other teams. However, in the end, the surprised couple discovered they had earned a well-deserved first place finish.
The excited pair quickly shared a sincere high-five and a brief hug before turning back to Miles to let him continue.
The teams on the second charter fought hard to gain a lead. Initially, communication troubles caused Smorgo and Smorga some problems with taxis.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (…This is not working. I really, desperately wish that we were capable of English right now…)" Smorga groaned.
In a wild race to the pit stop, To and Too edged out the brothers. Because of their Leech Rod's effect, they were placed one ranking above train workers Shimi and Waitress. Conversely, the Mismatch Rod's effect forced Hamma and Flare to wait…
"You will have to wait thirty minutes before I can check you in."
…And ultimately, it became their undoing.
"Hamma and Flare…because of the time penalty, you are the last team to arrive." Miles confirmed.
Glaring angrily at each other, the ground, and King and Queen, neither of the brothers said anything as they waited for him to continue and inevitably reveal the news.
"I'm…pleased to announce, however…" Miles paused as a gigantic sigh of relief escaped the brothers' beaks, while one of dismay rather loudly echoed from Queen. "…That this is the second of three non-elimination legs, so you two are still in the race."
Through an extreme stroke of luck, the brothers managed to make it out with money being the only thing missing from their arsenal.
Andy & Beldam Charmingly Safe; Hamma & Flare Penalized, But Remaining
Seven teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?
-----
This is Chomp Fields, a wild desert land overrun and completely overwhelmed in power by Chain Chomps. This vast region alone covers over two hundred square miles, and encompasses several of the world's most famous ancient pyramids, crumbling temples, and primeval ruins, all built in early days by early civilizations. Within the boundaries of this lively sand tract is this small, spread-out settlement, known as Pyramid Park, which has the majority of the famed old pyramids in its barriers. This single structure, the Pyramid of the Chains, was built to house an early lineage of regal Chomps, and was also the seventh pit stop in a race around the world.
Teams checked in at the end of the last leg to take part in a mandatory pit stop that allows them to eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. The seven teams waiting here have no idea where their next destination is, or what kinds of challenges await them. They must use a series of clues to make their way to the next pit stop.
With a newly gained outlook on the race, how will Queen make up for her past performance with her old partner? Will the scare that Hamma and Flare received from coming in last place be able to push them into a position to avoid being knocked out because of their penalty? And can To and Too recover from their bad departing time and catch up with the other teams?
Because of the combined arrival times of first-place Andy & Beldam and sixth-place King & Queen…
"HAHA, YEAH!"
"I told you we could do it!"
"YES! YEAH! WE'RE SAFE!" Queen shrieked joyfully, clasping King K. in a tight embrace.
The first team to leave will be the second place team. Zess and Toadsworth, who arrived at 5:27 A.M…
"How remarkable. We've kept up the most grand consistency in remaining in front for the past two legs." Toadsworth stated.
…Will depart at 5:27 P.M.
-----
Still high in the sky, the sun's rays beat down mercilessly upon the glistening tan sands of Pyramid Park. Several things in the area had reacting appearances because of the sun—the Golden Peaks reflected the glimmering rays and sparkled as if their surfaces were completely polished, the majority of the Chain Chomps working as ferries between places were mostly still energized, and the Bowser Sphinx complained to the Pyramid Park workers.
For once, the first team was departing in very good light; because of this, they didn't require any additional light on hand to read their clue. The elderly Toads stood, waiting on the mat for their departure time to arrive.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- 1st to Depart, 5:27 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
Once again, the couple was in the front position, however, this time, they hadn't placed first in the previous leg. Both team members were still holding the eliminated Team Twilight very close to their heart—they both kept insignia in the form of Zess' red bandana knotted around her wrist and Toadsworth once again wearing the lightweight green jacket. Even with these additional memoirs, the two kept a similar appearance—while Zess was wearing a white mini-skirt that seemed appropriate for the temperature, Toadsworth was wearing white shorts. They both had on purple T-shirts and brown hiking shoes fit for desert travel.
Upon being cued by his partner, Toadsworth quickly opened up the envelope and took out the Route Info inside.
"Capital!" Toadsworth exclaimed. "'Make your way by taxi to the Pyramid Park Airport and find a flight for Kong Island. Once at the airport, use the marked rovers to drive yourselves through the path of the Kongo Jungle to locate the Congo Canopy. Use a lift to ascend to the welcoming leaf, and locate your next clue at the lift drop-off. Warning: Yield ahead.'"
Teams must now get a Chomp-cab to take them 2 miles to the Pyramid Park Airport, where they will have to find a flight that will carry them 6,217 miles to Kong Island. Once at this unique isle, teams will have to use one of these marked vehicles to drive themselves approximately 12 miles from the beachside Banana Airport through the Kongo Jungle to the edge of the large rainforest, where they will find this set of trees, among the largest in the world—the Congo Canopy. Blessed with not only its own 18-hole golf course and several lakes within its platforms and branches, this larger-than-life set of interconnected wood and leaves is well known for its healthy growth and rainy conditions. Teams will find their next clue near the depositing area of the canopy's main wooden platform.
"'Six teams have 33 Smash coins for this leg of the race, while one team has zero.'" Toadsworth concluded. "I say, that is quite a dreadful predicament the boys are in…"
"Sorta…but in my opinion, they were asking for it." Zess shrugged. "So…we're going to Kong Island, home to the infamous Kong lineage…any clues about this place, Worthsy?"
"A few…the Princess traveled there once for a golfing tournament, if I recall…" Toadsworth explained, taking his time to gather his thoughts while Zess hailed a taxi with the whistle. "I am pretty sure that the golf course was in fact, the Congo Canopy…we may have to have some tee time upon our arrival."
"Oh, that's just great…" Zess said dryly. "I've never swung a golf club in my life…"
"Living as a pseudo-recluse obviously has me unprepared for the race…that's why I'm glad to have a partner like Toadsworth." Zess commented. "He knows a lot of travelers that often explore a lot, so he often gets the knowledge, too. It's a really good thing, since we get an upper hand on everyone, but it's kinda just too bad that I don't have anything like that to offer travel wise."
"The only thing is that I'm unsure about Kong Island in general. I've heard of it, but I'm not well informed of much about it…" Toadsworth informed.
"It's alright. At least it's more than what most of the others have." Zess said, patting the Toad's back as several taxis came into view.
-----
Seeing as the desert region was somewhat barren and void of extreme activity (Chain Chomps not included), the airport had no reason to be considered bustling, busy, and full. Although quite a few flyers moved this way and that, there were lots of near-empty halls and corridors.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Pyramid Park Airport, Help Desk)
Walking through the airport in the familiar front-place feel, the reasonably dating Toads strolled towards the information desk.
"Good afternoon, old bean." Stated Toadsworth. "Would you be so kind as to locate the fastest-arriving flight to Kong Island?"
"Kong Island?" repeated the Albatross. "Um…let's see… Alright… There's a flight that leaves here at 10:00 and arrives at Kong Island at 4:00 in the evening, local time."
"…That sounds like a really long flight…" Zess remarked. "Are you sure there isn't anything else…like one that connects through some other airport or something?"
"This is a direct flight, and the fastest one we've got. The next one leaves tomorrow, early in the morning at 3:00 and arrives there at 9."
"…Ooh…that doesn't sound good at all." Zess said. "I REALLY hope To and Too manage to make it…"
"Indeed. Er…good sir, what airline hosts that flight?" Toadsworth inquired.
"Um…if I'm not mistaken, it's Jungle-Sphere. They also have the later flight."
"Thank you very much."
After taking note of all of the helpful information they'd gathered, Zess and Toadsworth headed in the direction of the ticket-booking area.
-----
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- 2nd to Depart, 5:38 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
For some reason or another, the Excess Express employees had opted to take their wardrobe into their own hands for the eighth leg. Shimi was wearing a baby-blue baseball cap advertising a little-league team from Poshley Heights and strangely enough, the goggles that he'd obtained from the free giveaway back at Triangular International. On the other hand, Waitress was adorned with a bracelet on each wrist, a pink shirt, and blue jeans. Her purple hair was back in its regular two ponytail format.
"Kong Island…it rings a bell…sort of." Waitress murmured, putting her hand to her chin. "Where've I heard that before?"
"Is it deep within the conned mines of your cones science?" Shimi questioned. "…Wait, I meant—"
"Um…no?"
"We've been staying near the top, so that's a really good thing…" Waitress started. "The biggest problem we're having right now, in my opinion, is probably our lack of physical strength. We have to opt out of those types of challenges in favor of ones that involve wit or intelligence. It's not that we lack that or anything, but if we were a bit more well rounded, we'd be much better off. Sadly, none of our allies have that kind of thing, either…"
"I really, really hope that To and Too can make up and catch on…" Shimi mumbled.
"…Right…" Waitress stifled a giggle as she blew the whistle to summon a cab. "Well, we should hurry and try to find a good flight…someone might try and Yield us. Either that, or we strike first."
-----
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
"Hello…we'd like to book two tickets for your 10:00 flight leaving for Kong Island." Zess requested.
"Tickets for two? Alright." The Goomba quickly made some typing motions, and within seconds, a pair of tickets was printing from the printer. "There you go."
(Zess & Toadsworth- 1st on Jungle-Sphere 713)
"Thank you very much, kind sir." Toadsworth bowed politely.
"That wasn't too difficult…now we just need to wait…a few hours…" Zess said flatly. "How about we go check out some literature?"
"Sounds quite dandy, my beautiful chef." Toadsworth replied, causing a flattered giggle to escape his partner's lips.
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
Allied forces obviously thought alike—the employees had taken the time to stop and ask at the help desk before making a beeline for the ticket-booking counters.
"We'd like two crickets for the fastest kite to Kong Island!" Shimi exclaimed.
"Erm…what he means is…we need two TICKETS for Kong Island." Waitress cut in, laughing fretfully.
"…Oh. Okay." The Goomba nodded. "Here. Be sure to arrive at the terminal early, alright? Our flights board early and leave on time."
(Shimi & Waitress- 2nd on Jungle-Sphere 713)
"Good advice…thanks." Waitress nodded. "Well…we have quite a while to wait before we can board…might as well get something to eat around here."
"Great! I'm as hungry as a corpse!"
Waitress slapped her forehead.
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends / Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- 3rd & 4th to Depart, 6:45 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
As a result of their combined arrival times, the two regrouped teams had been pushed up or pulled back accordingly. Surprisingly, all four seemed to get along with a better group dynamic than they had in the previous leg—while waiting for departure, they were making jokes and poking fun that went without harsh retaliation.
Relieved to be back together, Andy and King had chosen to go with a matching article scheme—both were wearing matching black wristbands. Even more, Andy was wearing a yellow robe to match King's yellow boots and T-shirt.
Once again, Beldam was without her hat—her hair was again rolled into a small ball at the back of her head. Strangely, it appeared that Queen had lent her a silver tiara to wear that matched her own. Now without the usual large crown, Queen had chosen to tie her normally long and flowing pink hair into a somewhat controlled ponytail. Although the more eccentric aspect of her personality had been extinguished, her sense of style hadn't. Her wrists were adorned with shiny bracelets of rocks, gemstones, and beads.
"Here we go!" King exclaimed, ripping open his team's envelope.
Scanning the information, the two teams quickly thought about a plan.
"Alright…I give. I've never heard of this place." Andy announced.
"Well, isn't that a new tidbit? I thought the rumor-spreader knew everything." Queen teased.
"Seriously." Beldam agreed. "Let's play 'Stump Andy!'"
"…Let's not." Andy retorted in annoyance.
"Well, it's pretty obvious. At the end of the last leg, I was more than surprised—I was shocked—to find that King had unveiled why Queen had been acting so freakishly naïve. I mean, the world domination thing was gone after what happened and all…but the way she was just didn't seem right. I guess that once you get used to something, you can't exactly let it go very easily…" Beldam shrugged. "However, let's not say that I'm not psyched about it…we stand a better chance for sure!"
"Wasn't really no issues takin' down the cover of Queenie." King revealed. "Ain't difficult to relate to stuff you got experience with…took it and applied it with a dab, and there we got it. Glad to help with the lil' personal issues…just hope new contenders won't surpass us."
"Kong Island…well, this is something new." Beldam mused. "Let's just hope that we won't have too much trouble driving through the jungle."
"…Urgh." Queen blushed embarrassedly. "You be quiet."
"Settle it fridge-like, girls. Don't need no whisker fight." King berated.
This comment sparked another friendly argument as Andy blew the Chomp-whistle.
-----
Andy & King / Beldam & Queen (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be." Queen remarked.
(Andy & King; Beldam & Queen- 3rd & 4th on Jungle-Sphere 713)
"I wonder if the other teams that already arrived got on this flight." Andy stated.
"Well, it isn't a big airport. We can go check it out." Beldam suggested.
"But I'm hungry! We should eat dinner first!" Queen demanded.
"Whatever…" King shrugged.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- 5th to Depart, 7:33 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
Once again in their trademark appearance, the Smorg were basically in a sense, unclothed. The sun was still hanging above the horizon, leaving no need for any headlights.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (This just might be our big chance to catch up to everyone. Kong Island never has very many flights, since it is more of a residential locale than a tourist attraction.)" Smorgo remarked.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Correct. In that case, there should be a definitive flight for us to get onto.)" Smorga agreed.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Well…there is no point in any explanation. Once again, I am stuck with a frightened cameraman…)" Smorga sighed disgustedly. "SMORGSMORGSMORG (As a matter of fact, he should be turning off the camera right about—)"
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (We should not waste any time in staying here. It is time to go to the airport. From there, we will have to figure out which flight is most desirable.)" Smorga stated.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (And then, we will stowaway accordingly. Hopefully, our luck will not run out.)" Smorgo murmured.
Preparing the Route Info to show to a literate Chain Chomp, Smorgo somehow blew the whistle to get a cab.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- 6th to Depart, 8:13 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
Although they'd come in last the previous leg, the brothers were departing in sixth—apparently, a plus to them. Both Koopas seemed hyped up at their second chance; in spite of their possession of no money, they were as energetic as ever. With the temperature dropping down, the brothers had snapped their helmets back on, and were wearing blue and red hoodies, respectively.
"'Six teams have 33 Smash coins for this leg of the race, while one team has zero.'" Hamma concluded.
"You got that right…" Flare remarked, tapping the credit card violently. Nothing came out.
"Well, it doesn't matter. This place sounds like it's got no civilization whatsoever." Hamma stated. "We should be fine."
"We're storming up this leg. A disadvantage means zero to us, because it's easy to overcome. What's the point in trying to hold us back, though? Honestly, we are able to catch up to everyone else and probably even win the upcoming leg. Those penalties ain't stoppin' us!" Flare yelled.
Inhaling deeply, Flare blew out all of his air into the whistle. It didn't faze either of the two when a bit of fire streamed out of the hole of the metal object.
"There better be a decent flight that's still waiting for us…" Hamma muttered.
"Tch. I bet some bozo is going to go ahead and Yield us or something…" Flare snorted.
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
"Two for the 10:00…alright," said the Goomba.
(Hamma & Flare- 5th on Jungle-Sphere 713)
"Awesome. We're on it. The other teams don't stand a chance now that we're definitely on level with them." Hamma smirked. "Looks like we'll be surging ahead soon enough."
"You got that right. We'll have to in order to avoid what's comin'." Flare commented.
"Eh, don't worry about those stupid thirty minutes. That'll be nothing when we're done with this leg." Hamma assured.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Pyramid Park Airport, Terminal Hall)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (We managed to sneak by the security guards. Which terminal do we need to go to now? Can you see?)" Smorgo asked.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (It appears that the K3 terminal is the one we are going to. We must figure out which one it is and then sneak on through the baggage carrier…)" Smorga muttered.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I recall the 'K' hall being this way. We must hurry.)"
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To & Too: Sisters- Last to Depart, 9:37 P.M. (Pyramid of the Chains, Entrance)
Despite the fact that they were leaving last and the surrounding temperature was somewhat cool, the sisters were smiling brightly. Cheerful as ever, the two had donned their respective pink and green jackets and skirts, white shirts, and tennis shoes. To had her pink locks undone so that her hair fell straight down to her neck, while Too's green hair was pulled back into a ponytail.
"Guess who's leaving last?" To questioned. "We are!"
"Surprisingly, yes we are." Too nodded. "We gotta make up time, though."
"Well, let's do it!"
"We formed a pseudo-alliance with Zessworth and Shim-stress in the last leg because we needed to rely on them with our Leech Rod. It wasn't just for that leg, though…we intend to finish what we start. If possible, we're going to continue working together with them for as long as we can…because quite frankly, it seems like we tie the knot that was loosened with their loss of Team Twilight. So…if that's the case, we don't want to open it back up by just deserting them." Too explained.
"I wonder what Kong Island is like…maybe it'll be like Keelhaul Key." Too remarked.
"Ooh…maybe. But I think that instead of mangoes, there are going to be bananas." To laughed.
Giggling from her sister's joke, Too fumbled for the whistle. Upon grabbing it firmly, she put it in her mouth and blew.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Pyramid Park Airport, Terminal K3 Airplane Loading Area)
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Rush past…now!)"
Rolling quickly with a few bounces mixed in, the Smorg quickly sneaked by several of the Goombas that were loading luggage as they hopped into the airplane compartment designated for large baggage.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Time and time again, we are forced to do this…I wonder when we can stop.)" Smorgo sighed.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (I wholeheartedly agree…the suspense is actually quite surprising during those moments…)" Smorga muttered.
To & Too: Sisters (Pyramid Park Airport, Help Desk)
"We need to get on the fastest-arriving flight you have to Kong Island." To requested.
"The very fastest possible. Please tell us that it hasn't left yet…" Too trailed off.
"Um…Kong Island, right?" The Albatross thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure the fastest flight is on Jungle-Sphere. It leaves at 10:00. You can try to get on if you want."
"Alright! Thank you!" chimed the sisters in unison as they sprinted off.
Zess & Toadsworth / Shimi & Waitress / Andy & King / Beldam & Queen / Hamma & Flare (Pyramid Park Airport, Terminal K3)
One by one, the teams passed through the turnstile after showing the worker their tickets. Somehow, the brothers managed to blend in with the other teams; the formerly mismatched teams didn't seem to mind being around them.
To & Too: Sisters (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
"Hello…we need to get on your 10:00 flight for Kong—"
"I'm sorry, but I don't think we'll be able to let you on." The Goomba interrupted. "They're pretty much done boarding now, and are due for takeoff any time."
Gasping softly, To and Too looked at each other.
"Ooh…um…" To bit her lip. "Is there any way at all we can get onto it?"
"Really…uh…could you tell us when the next flight is?" Too inquired.
"Our next flight leaves at 3:00 tomorrow morning and arrives at 9:00 in the evening. Would you like me to put you on that one?"
"…This is definitely an elimination leg…there's no way we can take a risk like that, even with the Fast Forward." To murmured. "Could you call the pilot or something?"
"Sorry, but I can't do that."
"Please? We can't risk taking a later flight than this…"
"Should've arrived earlier, then."
"Wha… No, sir, you don't understand…"
"I understand perfectly, ma'am. I deal with this kind of thing all the time. Be on time, and you might make the next flight."
"Please let us on…we're begging you!" To pleaded.
"Really! It's mandatory we get on this flight out!" Too added.
"Is there no way at all we can make it on?" To asked. "We have some VERY important business at Kong Island, and we REALLY cannot miss it."
A moment of silence followed as the Goomba reluctantly took up a walkie-talkie and started speaking into it.
"I really hope there's room…" To whispered.
In response, Too took up her sister's hands in her own and held them close to her heart.
Zess & Toadsworth / Shimi & Waitress / Andy & King / Beldam & Queen / Hamma & Flare (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere 713 Flight)
"What's the hold up…" Queen asked.
"I bet those sisters are involved with it or something…please don't let them get on…" Hamma chuckled, shaking his head.
At this, virtually every other team on the plane looked at the Hammer Brother in disbelief.
"What? You can't blame us for wishing that. We got a penalty, for crying out loud!" Flare argued.
"…They just keep finding ways for us to dislike them…" Waitress sighed. "I really hope none of us have to lose to them…"
"Do not worry, my friend…we would never succumb to such uncouth youth." Toadsworth assured.
"Heck, I'll agree with you there." Andy whispered loudly.
"Same." Beldam agreed.
"Goes for me, too." Zess nodded.
"Informative!" Shimi added.
At this, virtually every other team sweatdropped.
To & Too: Sisters (Pyramid Park Airport, Jungle-Sphere Counter)
Waiting patiently for the news, the sisters continued hugging each other as the Goomba continued to speak in hushed whispers to what was presumably the pilot on the other side of the line.
"Oh, please let there be space…" To murmured.
"Yeah…" Too nodded, slowly running her fingers through To's hair in anticipation.
Slowly, the radio was lowered down from the Goomba's mouth.
"Alright. There's room." The Goomba nodded. "I can put you on."
(To & Too- 6th on Jungle-Sphere 713)
"YES! OH, THANK YOU!"
"YAY! WE OWE YOU!"
Laughing as the sisters both quickly gave him a peck on the cheek, the Goomba handed over two tickets. Excitedly, the Toads rushed off for the boarding platform.
"We were just, so elated to hear that we were able to make it onto the flight! All of that stress about possibly not making it…we were both very relieved to find that we still had a chance!" To exclaimed.
-----
(Jungle-Sphere 713- Departing at 10:12 P.M.)
Needless to say, the brothers silently expressed their discontent at seeing the sisters board, while the Toads' allies sighed in relief.
All seven teams are traveling to Kong Island on the same plane—miasma partners Smorgo and Smorga are stowaways. This leaves regularly traveling best friends Andy and King, train workers Shimi and Waitress, former servant and master Beldam and Queen, brothers Hamma and Flare, long-distance dating Zess and Toadsworth, and sisters To and Too.
-----
Despite only being an island, and quite a large one at that, the entirety of Kong Island was very ranged in detail. While one section would be covered in the warm sands of an ocean beach, another would be entangled within a web of trees. Mountains and mines covered another area, and even several civilizations dotted the large isle.
Banana Airport sat at the edge of Big Ape City, a mixed urban and rural area with a construction site and several zeppelins flying around in the sky. Of course, none were hanging around in the flight path of incoming airplanes.
(Jungle-Sphere 713- Arriving at 4:32 P.M.)
The six teams that had been riding in the plane quickly unloaded and were pushed into the terminal, where they proceeded to lead or follow in the direction of the presumed exit with the marked cars. However, a certain team's strategy had for once, paid off.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Banana Airport, Main Lot)
Rolling speedily through the dirt, the two Smorg soon arrived at the set of marked cars.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I am in complete and utter disbelief…for once, we actually are first out of the airport.)" Smorga muttered.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Definitely quite a shock.)" Smorgo agreed.
Climbing into the marked car with the travel pack sticking to his/her/its body, Smorga took the backseat where he/she/it found a map, while Smorgo hopped into the front.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (We have a twelve mile drive ahead of us. Are you sure you are up to navigating?)" Smorgo asked tentatively.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, of course. What kind of inquiry is that? I am very prepared for it.)" Smorga assured.
Smorgo steered the marked rover out of the parking lot.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Banana Airport, Main Lot)
"Looks like those stupid Smorg somehow already upped…either that or a car hi-jacker visited the airport." Hamma remarked.
"Tch. Who cares? It's not like they can do anything…they're just bouncing black soccer balls." Flare snickered.
Flare drove the car out of the lot with the Hammer Brother carefully looking over the map.
Andy & King: Best Friends (Banana Airport, Main Lot)
"Looks as if we're not the first ones here…we gotta go." Andy stated, getting into the backseat.
"You got that right, dawg. I'm revvin' it." King gave a thumbs-up.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Banana Airport, Main Lot)
"King K. and Andy's car is just right there! Come on!" urged Beldam.
The shadow ladies quickly threw their backpacks into the rear of the car and got in.
"I'm sure we'll be much safer if I take the wheel…no offense." Beldam said hesitantly.
"Fine by me…just don't crash into a tree trunk, no-eyes." Queen replied dismissively.
Shimi & Waitress / To & Too / Zess & Toadsworth (Banana Airport, Main Lot)
"The last three marked cars…that isn't a good sign at all." Zess said worriedly.
"We can catch up! Hurry; follow us!" Too instructed.
"Right behind you." Waitress confirmed.
-----
Located at the foot of the Monkey Mountains, the vast Kongo Jungle covered quite a large portion of the island. Many varieties of trees littered the humongous area, some of moderate size, some very small, and some towering above some of the shortest mountains. One of the more standout sets of trees was located near the edge of the forest—the Congo Canopy. The interesting blanket seemed to cover a good chunk of the large woodland, and several stick-out details could easily be observed from the air—a few uncovered platforms held golfing greens, tees, ponds, bunkers, and vines. However, the majority of the area was already covered by the large blanket of branches and leaves, preventing a few of some of the other parts of the natural structure.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Congo Canopy Base)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I assume that this is the place.)"
Getting out of their marked car, Smorgo and Smorga recalled the Route Info's instructions and hopped onto one of the wooden platforms. Oddly enough, the lift was basically a vine-using pulley. Somehow, the Smorg used an unseen force to tug on one part of the vine, pulling their platform up towards the main platform, which was approximately one-hundred feet above the ground.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (This is quite a barbarian type of elevator…how uncivilized. If I recall, Congo Canopy was a resort. Why must we do this work?)" Smorgo whined.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Indeed. This is very troublesome…hopefully we can reach the top before…oh, how inconvenient.)" Smorga rolled his/her/its eyes.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Congo Canopy Base)
"Those things are already up on the lift!" cried Flare in disbelief. "What the heck?!"
"Heads up!" Hamma shouted, throwing his brother his large backpack.
Running over to one of the many unoccupied lifts, the brothers started pulling on their vine.
Andy & King: Best Friends (Congo Canopy Base)
"We're makin' good time on those frontrunners, yo. Keep it up, man." King encouraged.
"Sure thing." Andy responded.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- Currently in 1st (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
Reaching the top, the first-place Smorg rolled over to the front of the wooden clubhouse, where they jumped onto the Yield mat.
This is the second of three Yields located on the race. At this point, one team can Yield another team by forcing them to stop racing for a pre-determined amount of time. However, each team can only exercise their Yielding power once during the entire race. If a team finds they've been Yielded, they must flip over this hourglass. When all the sand runs to the bottom, that team may continue on.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, no one can understand us, but we will not be using the Yield. It is much too troublesome…)" Smorga remarked.
The duo then jumped onto the clue box and pulled out an envelope.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Hurry up and read it, comrade. The brothers are right behind us.)" Smorgo informed, looking back.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (No need to worry.)" Smorga answered, opening the envelope. "SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG ('Head inside the clubhouse and retrieve two golf club bags. Then, choose a golf cart and ride to the ninth hole. There, play the hole and finish with a par or better to receive your next clue.')"
Teams must now choose a pair of fitting golf club sets and a customized golf cart, and drive it across the interconnected web of branches, stems, and leaves to the ninth hole of the Congo Canopy golf course. There, both team members will have to tee off and finish the 106-yard hole with a score equal to or better than par, or in other words, complete the hole in three swings or less. Once both members have managed to drop the ball into the cup within the restrictions, they will receive their next clue. However, if one team member fails to meet the requirements, he, she, or it will have to try again until they complete the task.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Golfing…that is just peachy. How are we supposed to do this?)" Smorgo sighed miserably.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, we should think up something quickly before we get surpassed.)" Smorga informed.
Noticing that another lift had pulled up to the level, the Smorg quickly headed inside the clubhouse, grabbed two perfectly-sized golf club sets, and hi-tailed it to a golf cart.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- Currently in 2nd (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
"How'd they…oh, those things are so freaky…" Hamma groaned, watching as the Smorg's cart sped away along one of the branches.
"Since we're second, we've decided to show mercy and not Yield anyone…for now." Flare stated, pulling the number 2 sticker and their picture from the Yield mat.
"…Let's see…looks like we're golfing at one of this place's holes." Hamma informed.
"…We're…golfing? I've never golfed before…" Flare trailed off. "Well, it doesn't sound too hard…"
"Better not be. Come on."
Andy & King: Best Friends- Currently in 3rd (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
"We choose not to Yield nobody." King stated, pulling the third sticker from the board. Andy pulled an envelope out of the box and read it.
The two quickly headed into the clubhouse.
"I think that when you size it, it's supposed to rest on the ground if you lay the handle against your waist…" Andy mentioned. "Or maybe it was your stomach…um…"
"It really matters, dawg? They got it sorted." King chuckled, picking up one of two bags with his and Andy's name on them.
"…Oh. Well, I feel dumb now." Andy rolled his eyes, taking up the other one.
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- Currently in 4th (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
"Hurry! We beat them up here!" Waitress called.
"I'm right in hind you!" Shimi informed, pulling the fourth sticker. "No Yielding for us!"
"Alright… 'Head inside the clubhouse and retrieve two golf club bags. Then, choose a golf kart and ride to the ninth hole. There, play the hole and finish with a par or better to receive your next clue.'" Waitress read. "Oh, cool! I've always wanted to golf!"
"Me, too! I've always liked hitting tea with a wooden club!" Shimi exclaimed.
A silence broken by the sounds of vines creaking and leaves rustling occurred as Waitress stared at her partner, dumbfounded.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- Currently in 5th (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
"Since when do they have vine pulleys? What kind of uncivilized place is this?!"
"Actually, they're quite common." Queen replied.
"…Shut up." Beldam commanded, pulling the fifth sticker before going to pull an envelope from the box.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Entrance)
After a good while of driving along the tree branches, the Smorg arrived at the ninth hole of the unusual golf course. The tee was located in the midst of the hollowed-out point of a tree trunk, which had a tree branch extending out to another wooden platform with the green on it. Because of this strange layout, there was virtually no fairway, but a bit of rough surrounded the green.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (This must be the place.)" Smorgo remarked.
Smorgo rolled up to the tee, took a golf ball and 1-Wood out of his/her/its bag, and swung. The ball flew through the air at a low trajectory, bounced on the green, and rolled…INTO THE HOLE.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I am guessing that you just applied the laws of physics, gravity, velocity, and acceleration to make that shot.)" Smorga stated.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Why of course. What else would I have used? Even you can perform this simple swing, I am sure…)" Smorgo grinned.
To & Too: Sisters- Currently in 6th (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
After pulling the sixth sticker without Yielding anyone and taking an envelope, the two girls headed into the clubhouse.
"This is so neat! They even monogrammed the clubs with our heads on the handle!" To giggled. "How cute!"
"Yeah, I know!" Too said, snapping a picture of the two golf bags.
Hurrying past the clue box, the two Toads carried their bags to one of the two remaining golf carts and hopped in.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- Currently in Last (Congo Canopy, Resort Platform)
"Darn…we're the last ones here! Means we obviously can't Yield anyone…" Zess quickly tore open the clue. "…Golfing! Oh, that's good. We've both done that before—maybe we can scurry out of last!"
"Indeed, Zessy! A splendid plan!" Toadsworth congratulated, hurrying alongside Zess into the clubhouse.
"We've both golfed before. During the times that we were able to somehow get together, golfing was one of the top leisure activities on our list of ways to spend time together. It was a really good thing that could help us, too." Zess remarked.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"You have GOT to be kidding me." Hamma moaned, staring over at the green on the opposite platform.
"Probably just a fluke…they're confused." Flare commented. "Maybe we can bonk one of 'em on the head with a golf ball."
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- Currently in 1st (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
Flare's first shot failed its mission in bonking one of the Smorg on the head; instead, it flew to the left of the platform, prompting an agitated yell from the Fire Brother that caused the Smorg to laugh.
"…Well…I've never seen such prodigies before…that's…quite amazing," said the Lakitu. "I guess you get this, then."
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Quite a simple task, my good fellow. You simply apply a strong tailspin to the—)"
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Forget it. Remember, he cannot understand us because we have supposedly evolved superior of his flying species…how, I do not know.)" Smorgo muttered.
"…Wha…" the Lakitu stared at the two confusedly for a moment, scratched his head, and then floated away to watch over the other team.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Let us see what we are to do now… 'Detour. "Snap" or "Scope." What kind of handling are you good at?')" Smorga read.
A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams have a choice between two tasks related to jobs creatures living on Kong Island are accustomed to in gaming activities. The choice? "Snap" or "Scope."
In "Snap," teams will have to travel through the Kongo Jungle 3 miles to this fast-running river in the Jungle Japes. They will then have to steer a wooden raft downriver to this marked location. Using the provided nets, ropes, tape, and clamps, teams will have to cooperate in order to successfully capture and bind three Klaptraps, lizard-like, large-mouthed creatures capable of biting down on many things and never letting go. Once teams have correctly restrained a total of three Klaptraps, they will receive their next clue.
In "Scope," teams will have to travel to the edge of the Kongo Jungle and up this marked trail to this small ledge of the Monkey Mountains, 7 miles away. They will then have to search the surrounding forest area with binoculars for a flag, hanging from the gates of a certain location—Jungle Hijinks, the area holding Donkey Kong's house. Upon reaching this forested area, teams will have to search the Banana Hoard for their next clue, hidden amongst the bunches and bunches of recovered bananas piled inside the cave. To do so, they will be provided with one of these mechanical tracking devices, which will respond upon picking up the signal of a small tracker inside of an envelope.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Most troubling. We have no choice but to choose 'Scope' because of our inability to capture creatures somewhat bigger than us.)" Smorgo lamented.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Quite correct. Hopefully, the lengthier distance shall not stop us from maintaining our decent lead.)" Smorga remarked.
Hopping back into their golf cart, the Smorg started their trip back to the clubhouse by going around in the direction of the tenth hole.
Andy & King: Best Friends (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Entrance)
"Look, dawg. Those bros got here 'fore us." King stated, grabbing his bag out of the back of the vehicle.
"Well, that doesn't matter. We can probably beat them." Andy shrugged.
King K. placed a tee down on the box, and a golf ball on top of it. Putting himself into a standing position, he swung in one of the most incorrect ways a golfer could, sending the ball short—it bounced off of the branch and into the dizzying depths of the canopy.
"Crap. Think we got a fly-gone." King said sheepishly, scratching his head.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Will you come on?" Flare asked heatedly.
"Hey! At least I made it onto the whatcha-ma-call-it, unlike you." Hamma retorted. "Besides…if I can get this putt, I'll just have to wait for you."
"Tch. Yeah, right."
Taking his time looking for the perfect angle to his "putt" from the rough, Hamma drew back and putted with the putter, but didn't even manage to bump the ball out of the tall grass.
"DANG!"
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Entrance)
"Oh, grape…this race is going to get really crowd together fast…" Shimi murmured.
"Yeah…if we can't finish this hole, we'll be stuck taking turns with the other teams." Waitress agreed. "…Where are the Smorg?"
"Probably lost in space or something…" Shimi shrugged.
Getting out of their golf cart, the duo hustled over to the tee and claimed spots before the brothers could return. Shimi went first, but even the club's modifying didn't seem to help his first shot; the ball flew off at an awkward angle a few feet, and fell into the space around the course.
"Um…your turn." Shimi smiled embarrassedly.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Entrance)
"This doesn't look good…they're starting to form a line." Beldam mumbled.
"UGH! I hate lines." Queen groaned. "Back in the day, I didn't have to wait in no dumb line…"
Beldam pulled her golf bag out from the cart. "Guess what? You do now. Besides, you've been waiting in lines for like, the whole race."
Not bothering to give some smart answer, Queen simply shuffled over to the line of anxious racers with Beldam in tow, just as Flare totally scrambled another shot.
To & Too: Sisters (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Entrance)
"Wow…it doesn't look like anyone has made it onto the green yet…" Too murmured. "You think this might be a bit hard?"
"They probably haven't golfed before." To replied. "Remember, we've golfed a little bit…"
"Yeah, but we're going to have to leave the others behind if we finish first…and I really do not want to do that…" Too admitted guiltily.
"You're right…but they understand that this is a race, though." To stated, pulling the cart to a stop.
After pulling their bags from the cart, the sisters quickly rushed over to grab a spot in line.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Well, everyone beat us here…oh well." Zess bit her lip. "I really hope I remember how to do this."
"It could be quite daunting, I'm afraid." Toadsworth muttered, stepping into the back of the line. "Whenever we miss, we must wait for everyone else to take a turn before we can attempt again."
"Right…" Zess sighed. "We'll just have to try and make perfect hits onto the green, then…"
The group of racers watched as Bandy Andy attempted a tee-off. Although he had a better stance than his partner, his bad swinging style resulted in the ball flying off to the right.
"…This is going to take forever…" Andy moaned.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Congo Canopy, Resort Clubhouse)
After making it back to the main platform, Smorga parked the golf cart near the clubhouse. They rolled in with their bags, deposited them near the entrance, and headed in the direction of the wooden slide.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I suppose the method we used to get up here will not be the same to get out. This actually looks quite amusing.)" Smorgo mused.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Right…well, shall we? After all, we are not getting any younger. The others should catch up in about…a few hours.)" Smorga said cheerfully.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Yes, of course…I must argue with the task detail, though. They should have made it a game of near-pin…actually playing the hole might be a bit much.)" Smorgo ridiculed.
Positioning themselves at the top of the large, winding wooden slide that spiraled and curved in several directions around the lifts and the base of the main tree, the Smorg pushed off.
"SMORGSMORG (Wheee.)"
Within a good fifteen seconds, the discs were off the speedy slide and en route to their marked car.
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / To & Too / Zess & Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
An eleven-person line had developed as Toadsworth took his first swing for the green. Unfortunately, his former experience didn't seem to kick in—the ball flew a bit short of the platform.
"That isn't very sporting…you give it a go, Zessy." Toadsworth shook his head, leaving the box open for his partner.
Zess attempted a swing, and ended up making it barely on the rough on the outer part of the platform.
"Oh, cool! I might have a chance!" Zess shouted, grabbing her bag and jogging down the trunk steps to the wooden branch that led over to the green.
"I guess that it's my turn." Waitress remarked, placing a ball on the used tee. She swung, but the ball fell short and curved quite a bit to the right.
Shimi whiffed the ball, and ended up forfeiting his turn. To barely missed making the platform. Too ended up making the ball fly a bit to the left of the wood.
"I don't know if this will go in…" Zess murmured, putting the approach she had made. Due to her distance from the cup, the ball rolled heavily in another direction. "…Didn't think so."
Hamma over swung, sending the ball hurtling past where it needed to be. Flare swung, and threw his golf club, but it was retrieved by the Lakitu. King somehow made it onto the green, but his approach accidentally sent the ball off the platform. Andy missed the stage by a few feet. Beldam's ball flew to the right of the platform. Queen nearly whacked someone in the face because of her unusual hands. Toadsworth made it to the rough, but missed the cup. Zess made it to the green, but failed to make both putts. Waitress missed. Shimi missed. To missed. Too's ball bounced off of the spiky wood that pinned the platform down and fell. Hamma completely missed. Flare threw his club again (out of anger, this time). King missed. Andy missed. Beldam missed. Queen purposely threw her club at Flare for a rude comment.
-----
Quite a few trees covered the surface of the Monkey Mountains landform closest to the Kongo Jungle; they seemed almost as big as some of the ones that existed down in the forest. Above the tree line, the mountain was basically rock, dust, and gravel, except from a small tidbit of snow at the very top that was shared by most of the other nearby mountains.
The first marked car arrived at the circular dirt lot at the entrance to the hiking trail up the mountain.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Base)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (We have arrived at the destination.)" announced Smorgo, bouncing out of the car.
Disembarking from their marked vehicle, the Smorg started up the marked trail to the presumably marked ledge.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (If I knew any better, I would assume that we have quite the healthy lead and a leg-up on our competition.)" Smorga remarked.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (That is, if we had walking appendages…which we do not.)" Smorgo reminded.
-----
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Darn…" sighed Zess. "I missed it by just like, a millionth of an inch or something!"
"We just have to keep our persistence at this." Toadsworth comforted.
"Right…well, we're doing a better job than some of the others."
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / To & Too (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"AAAARGH! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!"
Flare heatedly blew a small bit of fire at his golf club, which was fortunately, fireproof.
"…Stupid manufacturers!" Flare bellowed.
"I think we need to get some counseling on anger management issues, dawg…" King whispered to Andy, who laughed.
"Just like, one after another, one ball was hit off, then another, and another. No one was having any luck in making it. It was just so hard to play an actual golf hole with no experience beforehand…" Waitress said.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Ledge)
Shortly after reaching the marked ledge, the Smorg picked up two binoculars and started searching for what was supposedly a hard-to-spot flag amongst the brush.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (We should spot the flag in less time than a minute if we search efficiently. It is impossible to succumb to such an easy task.)" Smorga stated.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (How true. However, your prediction is off—we should spot it in approximately forty-five seconds.)" Smorgo corrected.
-----
To & Too: Sisters (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"No beans…" Too said disappointedly as her ball rolled past the hole. "This is REALLY tough…I wonder how long we'll be here."
"Hopefully we can get out of here soon. I think we're getting the hang of it." To said optimistically.
"Yeah…consistent tee offs…it's a start." Too agreed, nodding and smiling.
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / Zess & Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"The pressure is just so unnerving…it keeps making me miss that platform!" Beldam cried in disgust. "How ridiculous is this…playing golf…urgh…"
"Count your blessings. Back then, clubs like this were pure wood, not just called wood." Queen berated.
"Hah! What a loser!" Flare jeered, prompting Queen to throw her golf club at him again.
"EEP!" shrieked Waitress. "Will you watch it?"
"Yeah! Throwing things isn't very good dice!" Shimi backed.
"You really are going to hit someone, old chap." Toadsworth chided.
"It's his fault." Queen simply replied, tossing her hair back as she headed to the end of the line.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Ledge)
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (I told you. Forty-five seconds, and there it was, as plain as the sunlight of a day free of precipitation formation.)" Smorgo said in a I-told-you-so tone.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Whatever you wish. I say that the forty-six second mark makes me blatantly correct.)" Smorga sniffed.
With the location of the spotted flag in mind, the Smorg rushed back down the marked trail.
-----
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / To & Too (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Finally…" Andy muttered, watching as his ball bounced and landed on the platform.
"Much luck, man!" King called as his partner grabbed the bag and headed towards the green.
"This is really stressful…who knows who could finish first?" Beldam murmured.
"It'll be me…" Hamma muttered to himself.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Not again!" Zess shook her head, aggravated. "I keep on missing that stupid hole! I swear, it's moving or something!"
Toadsworth chuckled. "I doubt that, highly…"
Taking his time to line up his shot, the retainer brought his putter back and smoothly followed through. The impact rolled the ball…into the cup.
"Oh, how splendid! The initial finisher of the regular racers." Toadsworth bowed as an excited Zess clapped.
"Great! …Now only I have to do that…" Zess trailed off, rolling her eyes.
Hamma & Flare / King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Tch. I guess it's true what they say about old people and boring sports like golf…" Hamma scoffed.
"You're so unappreciative." Waitress remarked distastefully. "He actually made a birdie…better than what you've done so far."
"HAH! That's a laugh!" Flare interrupted. "Least he's made it onto the green!"
"I guess, yo…but still, he's overpowerin' everything." King mumbled lazily.
"…What'd you say?!" Hamma asked crossly. "I'll show you, you…you…OOH, I HATE FAMILY-RATED SHOWS!"
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Kongo Jungle, Dirt Road)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (By my calculations, the flag should not be too far from our current location…)" Smorga informed.
"SMORGSMORG (Good. Once we enter the cavern, we will have to search like crazy to locate a clue amongst the fruits of the earth.)" Smorgo recalled.
-----
To & Too: Sisters (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"YEEAH!" To jumped for joy as she watched her ball drop into the hole.
"Great job, sis!" Too congratulated. "Now it's just me…"
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / Zess & Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Another person has got it in…" Andy groaned. "Hopefully it'll take a while for everyone else to get the hang of this…"
"Wistful thinkin'…" King replied.
"You can do it, Zessy!" Toadsworth encouraged, watching as Zess teed off. Unfortunately, the ball flew off course and out of bounds. "Maybe next time…"
"This is getting really nerve-racking…" Waitress sighed.
"How annoying. Games were never this weird back in the day." Queen murmured.
"She sounds like an old geezer…" Flare whispered.
Everyone jumped out of the way as the Shadow Queen's golf club once again missed its intended target.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
After reaching the clearing with Donkey Kong's house and the marked flag, it didn't take long for the Smorg to get out from their vehicle and head into the cavern, which was chock full of bananas.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Hopefully this taxing obstacle will not obscure our progress by taking up precious time. Yellow bananas are similarly colored to yellow clue envelopes.)" Smorgo remarked.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (No worries, colleague. All we must do is simply apply the laws of search-and-rescue, using this technologically-advanced tracking equipment.)" Smorga assured, picking up one of the scanners.
-----
Waitress (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Oh, darn…" Waitress shook her head as she watched the third hit roll right by the cup.
Zess (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"I'm sorry, Worthsy!" Zess called, picking up her missed ball.
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi / Beldam & Queen / To & Too / Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Shadowsnaps!" Beldam growled, making what could be perceived as a stomping motion as she headed to the end of the line.
"When is this torture gonna end?" Hamma asked out loud to nobody in particular. Of course, nobody responded.
"Come on, Too…you can do this." To supported as her sister walked up to the tee.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- Currently in 1st (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I have obtained one.)" announced Smorga, emerging from the large pile of yellow fruit.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Very nicely done, I must say. Quick, we must read it. Maybe we can place first today.)" Smorgo ushered.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Yes, of course. 'Make your way through the Kongo Jungle to DK Mountain, and locate the wooden rope bridge, where you will find your next clue.')"
Teams must now drive themselves approximately 6 miles from both Detour points through the Kongo Jungle to this lone mass in the middle of the jungle, DK Mountain. This hot, active volcano, and its surrounding forest area are ironically considered more treacherous than some of the other landforms in the Monkey Mountains range, due to their natural pollution, rolling boulders, and numerous pitfalls and crevasses. Teams will have to locate the wooden rope bridge that hangs above a deep gorge, where a river runs. Unsteadily hanging over the canyon, this link connects the DK Mountain forest with a small rock cove that contains the Donkey Cannon, an over juiced barrel shooter that has capabilities of sending large objects as far as its neighboring volcano. Here, close to this rickety structure, teams will find their next clue.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (DK Mountain. I have heard about that area before, have I not? If memory recalls, it doubled as a racecourse in the Double Dash Grand Prix…)" Smorgo mused.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Your memory serves correctly. We must make haste; I sense the Roadblock coming up.)" Smorga informed.
Rolling to their marked car, the Smorg jumped in and drove away from the treehouse.
-----
Hamma & Flare / Andy & King / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / To & Too / Zess & Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
By this point, many of the team members are pessimistic and tired of repeatedly missing the platform or the hole. While To and Toadsworth patiently wait for their partners, it is clear that several teams are losing their cool.
"This is so impossible! Why do we have to go through something stupid like this?!" Queen complained.
"Queen, will you calm down? Maybe if you would concentrate, we could get out of here!" Beldam pointed out.
"I am concentrating, you old crone!" Queen retorted.
"GRAH!" Hamma kicked at the grass as he missed once again.
"Hey…" King tapped on Andy's shoulder. "…Suppose we oughta go for the Fastie?"
"…The Fast Forward?" Andy voiced. "…There's a team missing that probably went for it, though…"
"That's the Smorg, dawg. They ain't got nuthin' on us." King stated.
"…I guess so…but I hope we can still make up time."
The homeboys picked up their golf bags and headed back to their cart, much to the surprise of the other teams.
"Why didn't we look at this thing earlier, though…" Andy asked, opening the Fast Forward folder. "'Drive yourselves to Tree Top Town near the entrance of Vine Valley, and use a common forest method of transportation to reach a secluded platform at the far edge of the town.'"
A Fast Forward is an award found on almost every leg of the race. Any team that uses a Fast Forward can skip all tasks and head directly to the pit stop, but that team will be unable to use another for the rest of the race, therefore, teams must decide when it is most advantageous to go for it.
In this Fast Forward, teams will have to drive 23 miles to the edge of the Monkey Mountains and locate this remarkable gorge, known as Vine Valley. Here, teams will need to enter the village built atop the forests, known as Tree Top Town. Immediately visible from the entrance is a ledge located on the opposite end of the town with the Fast Forward award; to reach it, teams will have to perform a method of transportation commonly used in the forests. By swinging and jumping from one vine to another, both team members will have to reach the small platform before they can claim the Fast Forward.
"Sounds better than stickin' around here…only problem is the distance, yo." King remarked.
"Right…it's a risk to take, though." Andy said. "We might as well go through; it might what separates us from being safe and being eliminated."
Agreeing, the two sat forward in their cart as the KP Koopa started it up and headed out towards the tenth hole to make a circle back to the clubhouse.
"Not like we were gonna be doin' real well with the golfin'…the speeder was our only option to get into safety, so we went for it." King explained. "'Sides…me and Andy were making no progress with whacking those balls over and over…"
"They're taking a real risk…maybe we should go for it." Hamma muttered.
"No way!" Flare shouted. "We aren't going to risk going up against those guys with a stupid Fast Forward! We're fine off right here!"
"You got no idea what you're talking about, bro. I said—"
"FINAL! WE'RE STAYIN'!"
Everyone gasped and stood back as a heated scuffle started up in the line between Hamma and Flare.
"…I think they lost their ice for the final time…" Shimi remarked.
Andy & King: Best Friends (Congo Canopy Base)
After returning their golf bags and taking an amusing ride down the wooden slide, the minor league fighters got back into their marked vehicle.
"It looks like the Vine Valley is quite a ways from the Congo Canopy…" Andy informed, looking disdainfully at the map. "I really hope we aren't making the wrong decision…I mean, what if the Smorg really did go there and get it or something? You never know…"
"…The Smorg? Dawg, you gone crazy." King laughed.
-----
Occasionally, large boulders barreled down DK Mountain at astonishing speeds, bouncing off the craggy surface and crashing into metal fence structures, or colliding with mid-air. The trees hummed with the sounds of singing bugs, chirping birds, and howling winds in the somewhat high altitude.
Swaying with dangerous movements, the wooden bridge kept on moving back and forth, due to the winds moving through the area. The first team's marked car plowed through the undergrowth as it came to a stop in a nearby dirt lot.
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- Currently in 1st (DK Mountain, Dirt Lot)
Hopping out of their car, the Smorg rushed through the small barrier of trees and over to the clue box, located close to the canyon edge. Somehow, the dizzying view didn't seem to faze either of them. They pulled a number from the nearby sticky board before pulling out an envelope.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG ('Roadblock. Who wants to become one with the wind?' …That has got to be the stupidest thing I have EVER heard.)" Smorga remarked.
A Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform, and no one person may perform any more than eight on the entire race.
In this Roadblock, that team member will have to take a harrowing, but exciting, plunge down into the canyon that separates DK Mountain from the Donkey Cannon. While attached to a safe, working, bungee cord, the participant will get to experience an adrenaline-rush bungee jump down into the ravine approximately 860 feet down. Once the team member has completed the amazingly quick leap of faith, the next clue will be obtained.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Yawn. By the looks of things over there, we have a bungee jump to take care of…which one should do it?)" Smorgo questioned.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (In my opinion, you are best suited. I would rather sit here and watch from the sidelines, seeing the force of gravity sweep you down to the river below.)" Smorga answered.
Making a shrugging motion, Smorgo went over to the bridge and started to head towards the center, where a Krusha bravely waited, several harnesses at his side.
"Heh…looks like we got ourselves the first team…looks sorta weird, though…" the Krusha mused to himself. "Eh, whatever…let's get you suited up."
-----
Waitress (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Oh, finally…" Waitress sighed in relief as she watched her ball roll into the hole. "I got it, Shimi!"
Hamma & Flare / Shimi / Beldam & Queen / To / Zess & Toadsworth (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"That's just grape, Waitress!" Shimi called back. "…Oh, how am I supposed to repeat that…it's hard just hitting to the grebe…"
"Just relax, Zess…take your time." Toadsworth instructed.
Zess bit her lip as the ball flew to the left of the green. "Oh, sorry…"
"We're gonna be here all freakin' night…" Hamma muttered.
"WE better not be…" Queen stated.
Too (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
Carefully lining up her putt, the green-haired Toad hit the ball. Unfortunately, she had tapped it a bit too lightly, causing it to roll back down the slope right before the hole.
"…Aw…" Too sighed.
-----
Smorgo (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"Alright, there…" The Krusha stepped back to admire his work, tugging uncomfortably at his camouflage tank top. "Pretty sure that's how your harness is supposed to be…"
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, of course it is. I have no limbs, and the front of my body is obviously located here, so it would only work for me to fit in the harness in this manner.)" Smorgo berated sarcastically.
"…Um…okay, then. Right…"
Smorgo groaned as the Krusha, confused by the sounds he was hearing, laughed sheepishly.
"Well…whenever you're ready, just go ahead and jump…got the safety right here for your rebound back up," the Krusha assured.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Make your descent as speedy as possible!)" Smorga reminded.
Deciding to ignore his/her/its partner's advice, Smorgo went ahead and leapt. The wind created a strange effect, making it look like several copies of Smorgo were falling right behind him/her/it; the illusory effect was accompanied by the shifting of the Smorg's body discs, which fluttered about madly in the rushing breeze.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Uh…wheee?)" Smorgo trailed off, yawning.
Several seconds after the jump had started, gravity had pulled Smorgo to the end of the rope. Seeing this, the Krusha started manually hoisting the racer back up, somehow keeping himself from swaying the bridge, despite his burly and muscular stature.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (…They call THIS a bungee jump? How…uninteresting…)" Smorga remarked dryly.
Although it took a little while, the Krusha managed to bring Smorgo back up without the Smorg falling out of the harness. He handed the thing a clue envelope produced from under his tank top.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (How unhygienic. Is the envelope drenched in sweat? It seemed as if that savage Kremling was having a difficult time pulling you up from my point-of-view…)" Smorga rolled his/her/its eyes.
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (Actually, the envelope is quite dry. Now…where is that pit stop… 'Make your way on foot to the next possible pit stop, at the highest point of the trail of DK Mountain. Warning: The last team to check in may be eliminated.')" read Smorgo.
Teams must now make their way on foot up the difficult forest hike to the next possible pit stop, located at the drop-off point of the DK Mountain summit, the farthest area from which the Donkey Cannon is able to shoot. This remarkable lookout point provides a fantastic view of the surrounding Kongo Jungle, and is nearly over 1,000 feet above sea level. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Finally…the first pit stop where we might come in first! Please, let us be first…)" Smorgo pleaded to the air.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, come on! Standing will not aid in achieving victory!)" Smorga reprimanded.
Abandoning their somewhat neatly-parked marked vehicle, the Smorg started rolling up the forest dirt path in the direction of the mountain.
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends (Tree Top Town, Entrance)
"This oughta be it." King remarked, parking the car.
Stepping out from their marked 4x4, the two fighters approached the entrance to the town. Virtually all of the buildings were built on top of trees; the entrance itself had also been elevated without notice, seemingly by a wooden ramp. From the wooden entrance platform, a series of vines reached down from the canopy above. Obviously, safety reasons were in play for the village; a mossy flooring covered all space not made up of the treetops.
"Looks like we need to get started…" Andy mused. "I can see the clue box right over there."
"Right…"
Grabbing onto the nearest vine, King put his weight into a swing that allowed him within reaching distance of another vine. However, the way he tried to switch late resulted in him falling onto the mossy bottom.
"…I really hope we got this better than the golfers, dawg." King murmured.
-----
Zess (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
Observing the way the green sloped seem to help—Zess' putt finally went in, giving her a par.
"YES! OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Zess shook the Lakitu's hand vigorously before charging back up the branch with a clue envelope in hand.
Beldam (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"The one shot I finally got onto the green, I screw up…just splendid…" Beldam groaned.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- Currently in 2nd (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
Reuniting with her partner at the golf cart, Zess quickly opened the envelope while Toadsworth loaded the golf bags into the back.
"'Detour. "Snap" or "Scope." What kind of handling are you good at?'" read Zess. "…Um…okay…I'm not really sure about handling Klaptraps, but I think we can handle searching for a flag and driving to it, right?"
"Why of course!" Toadsworth replied, starting up the cart.
Once the couple had gone a ways away from the hole, Toadsworth leaned over.
"By the way, Zessy…that was some very nice golfing back there…now we are in front."
Hamma & Flare / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen / To (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Perfect. There's another team gone…and it's the geezers. What the heck…" Flare muttered. "Why the freak can't we get this?"
As the Fire Brother walked back and forth, absorbed in thought, Queen took another try at teeing off.
"It doesn't help very much that they've turned the little lawn lamps on—it's still hard to see in here." Queen mumbled. "Ooh, yay! I got it onto the green!"
Beldam watched as her partner rushed off with the golf bag.
Too (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
"Awesome! I made it in!" Too exclaimed. She happily accepted the clue from the Lakitu. "Thank you, sir!"
To & Too: Sisters- Currently in 3rd (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
Once Too managed to get back to the tee off area, the sisters opened their clue envelope at their cart.
"It's a Detour…cool. 'Snap' or 'Scope.' 'What kind of handling are you good at?'" To read.
"Um…I think that since it's getting dark, it could be hard to find the flag, especially if it's small." Too offered. "But then again, we might have some difficulties with the Klaptraps."
"Right…so we should go ahead and stick with 'Scope,' huh…"
"Yup!"
Driving off, the sisters gave each other a congratulatory high-five.
Hamma & Flare / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Oh, great…this sucks. Now there's only us left…" Beldam groaned.
"Yes!" Shimi exclaimed, watching as his ball came to a stop very close to the pin.
"Good luck, Shimi! Try to make it in this time!" Waitress called.
"…Maybe we should've followed for the Fast Forward or something…it couldn't have been any harder than this…" Hamma said quietly.
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends (Tree Top Town)
"Oh, crud!"
Landing on his rump, Andy stared sullenly at the vines he'd slipped from.
"This is a bit harder than I would've liked it to be…swinging from vines…I feel like an untrained ape." Andy remarked dryly.
"Aw, come on, dawg. You'll get the handles and be steerin' round in no time." King assured. "It ain't far to the platform; just concentrate."
"Right…" Andy sighed, and started walking back to the starting point ladder.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (DK Mountain, Forest Trail)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Hurry up your rolling speed already! Every minute counts!)" Smorgo called back.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (I am trying as hard as I can. My velocity is not what I would have expected it to be, so lay off your incessant nagging!)" Smorga shouted back.
Quickly approaching the more rocky part of the trek up the mountain, the Smorg rolled the best they could up the dirt road. Their disadvantage was becoming apparent—the slope was heavily slowing them because of their moving method.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (You must really attempt to maintain a decent speed so we can achieve a good departure tomorrow morning. If we do not hurry, we will lose the last bit of precious sunlight we have.)" Smorgo scolded, coming to a stop to wait for his/her/its partner.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, I apologize, perfectionist, but a high rate of common sense does not incur a good physical health.)" Smorga replied, halting next to Smorgo.
At that moment, one of the boulders flew over the rock wall and crashed upon the ground farther up the trail. It started to roll…
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Shall we continue on? This continual bickering is getting us nowhere.)" Smorgo stated.
The stone continued to pick up speed, bouncing along dangerously…
"SMORGSMORGSMORG (I guess. For one thing, our good timing will ensure a decent exit time tomorrow, so we will not have to wait for wherever we are going.)" Smorga concurred.
Almost as if it had a mind, the stone bounded over a hill and up into the air…
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Right, then…at least we can agree on one thing.)" Smorgo grinned.
It was almost upon them!
"SMORGSMORG (Look out for that insidiously, inhumanely, callously, enormous collection of grains, sand, and minerals!)" Smorga yelled.
"SMORG (…Mother?!)"
KER-SMASH!
-----
Shimi (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"…I hate this…this is so embarrassing!" Shimi complained. "How could I have fished that cup?"
Hamma & Flare / Waitress / Beldam & Queen (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"Better luck next time!" Waitress shouted. "Oh…I really hope he can do this…"
Beldam teed off, and managed to land her ball on the outer edge of the green, in the rough grass.
"Yes!" Beldam clenched her gloves and grabbed her bag, rushing down the tree.
"This dreary, yet festive golf course is sort of appealing…" Queen remarked, looking at the shadows flickering about because of the small lanterns.
"…Weirdo…" Flare muttered. Queen glared at him.
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Congo Canopy Base)
"It would appear that we are still the first ones back…excluding the Smorg, of whom we have no indication of where they are." Toadsworth remarked.
"I can't exactly say I like them, but I hope the dears aren't lost, wondering about or hurt or anything…" Zess mentioned. "I mean, that'd be just awful. I wonder why they joined the race in the first place…"
"So do I…" Toadsworth admitted.
Placing their backpacks into the back of their car once again, the Toads drove off.
To & Too: Sisters (Congo Canopy Base)
"Alright…it looks like the Monkey Mountains are in that direction." Too pointed.
"Got it." To nodded, backing the car up and turning it in the direction of a forest trail.
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (DK Mountain, Forest Trail)
After landing on the two Smorg with a sickening thud, the boulder had continued on its way, unheeded, until it barreled off the path completely. Thankfully, the Smorg appeared to somehow be all right…
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Peaches and cream are my favorite brand of lovely white swan-swimming flutes!)"
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends (Tree Top Town)
"Alright!" King hollered, landing neatly onto the wooden board. "All yours, man!"
Andy looked over at his partner. "Shoot…he thinks it's that easy? …Dunno if I can get this…"
-----
Hamma & Flare / Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
For a while, virtually all of the attempted hits to the green were misses; Shimi was doing the best at being nearly on target, but almost always shot a little bit too weak; both Hamma and Flare repeatedly hit the ball too strong, sending it flying off somewhere; Beldam usually smacked the ball slightly left of the platform, and Queen's hits were almost all bad, making the ball spin in such a way as to fly backwards.
"Are we ever going to get out of here…this is so frustrating!" Queen moaned. "Is it possible to just give up and get out of here?"
"Yeah…but do we really want that penalty? If we're the only one to take it, we'll be eliminated for sure…" Beldam reminded. "We can't risk it."
"Well, we're not wasting any more time here. We're taking that penalty." Hamma announced.
"…Fine…be that way." Flare shook his head. "The minors probably already got the FF by now…"
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- Currently in 4th (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
Upon Hamma's signal, the Lakitu brought the clue envelope over to the tee box, where he handed it to the brothers.
"We don't stand a chance at this, anyways…good luck at wasting your time, folks!" Hamma remarked acerbically.
The two brothers got into their golf cart.
"'Detour. "Snap" or "Scope." What kind of handling are you good at?'" Flare read. "…We can catch Klaptraps better than we can golf. Let's go for 'Snap.'"
"I guess so." Hamma shrugged. "Well, come on. Don't just sit there; drive!"
-----
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (DK Mountain, Forest Trail)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Microbiology is my favorite afternoon snack. What's your best singer like to swim as?)" Smorgo inquired.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Well, mice are very scary things, you know. They talk, sing, and dance like cartoon binders and stuff!)" Smorga shrieked.
Oblivious to the occasional boulder rolling down the mountain, the Smorg continued to talk about random, useless things.
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends (Tree Top Town)
"Come on, you got this, yo! Swing it! Jump, man!"
As the Big Bandit made a mighty leap and just barely grabbed onto the edge of the platform, King K. hooted.
"That was some fine maneuvering! Then again, wouldn't expect anythin' less from the leader o' the Hand-it-Overs!" King exclaimed.
"Uh…thanks…now, do you mind helping me up?" Andy questioned.
After hoisting his partner onto the platform, King opened the box and retrieved the lone clue inside. He gave it to Andy, who opened it.
"'Congratulations on earning the Fast Forward, now make your way to the very top trail of DK Mountain.'"
Having won the Fast Forward, Andy and King may now skip all tasks and proceed to the top of DK Mountain, the pit stop for this leg of the race.
While Andy chose to run on the semi-solid ground back to the entrance, King decided to swing on a few vines. Fortunately, he missed grabbing one and landed back on equal footing with his teammate.
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Congo Canopy Base)
Leaping off from the slide, the brothers quickly headed over to their car, dumped their backpacks into the rear, and jumped in.
"You better find where the Jungle Japes is, or else we'll be done for. The other teams better stay put in that golf course…should've Yielded one of 'em if I'd known we were quitting." Flare commanded, pushing on the gas pedal.
"Tch. Whatever. It's not like it's going to hurt us much. Trust me; if I know anything, we're safe." Hamma said.
"If you know 'anything?' Well, in that case, we're last." Flare snorted, prompting an angry glare from his brother.
-----
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Base)
"This is quite an interesting landmark…" Toadsworth murmured. "Hopefully we can efficiently search out the flag from the ledge."
"Well, hopefully the ledge isn't too far up the trail…it's getting darker and darker, and I really do not want to trip." Zess stated, taking out a flashlight.
Clasping hands, the Toads started speed walking up the rocky path.
To & Too: Sisters (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Base)
"Looks like another team chose this Detour option." To observed, stepping out of the car.
Too peered at the picture on the windshield. "Well, at least we know it's not someone from behind; it's Zessworth."
"Maybe we can work together to complete this Detour, then…it could be slightly hard to find the flag in the dark." To suggested.
With that, the Traveling Sisters grabbed their headlights and rushed over to the trail.
-----
Shimi & Waitress / Beldam & Queen (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"This is getting really, really irritating…why can't we get this?" Beldam asked. "Why?"
"Do you think we should just give up? Maybe if we hurry, we could…I dunno, catch up with the Ham-bros.?" Queen proposed. "I'm tired of this feeble sport, anyways…it is very poor in excitement and amusement."
"Well…I don't…" Beldam paused to contemplate her options for a moment.
"Could you hydrant up and fake your shot?" Shimi asked impatiently.
The Shadow Siren turned to Chef Shimi. "You can keep on going, fish head. We're outta here!"
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- Currently in 6th (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
Relieved to finally be getting out of the stuffy tree trunk tee box, the two shadows hurried back to their golf cart to read the clue out of earshot of the Excess Express workers.
"'Detour. "Snap" or "Scope." What kind of handling are you good at?'" Beldam read. "…I don't think we'd be able to quell a bunch of Klaptraps…we'll have to do 'Scope.'"
"Sure, whatever you say…" Queen waved dismissively. "Just get us out of here, pronto!"
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
"…Fish head?" Shimi repeated disbelievingly. "…Fish…head?!"
"Erm…" Waitress sucked her teeth. "Just ignore those meanies, Shimi. Keep on; we won't be outdone by them, since both they and the brothers are being penalized. There's no way we could possibly lose to them!"
"…FISH HEAD?!"
Angrily swinging his club, Shimi accidentally somehow smacked the ball so strong, but at such a weird angle, that it landed on the platform that had the green.
"…Whoa…neat trick." Waitress giggled nervously. "Just make it in this time."
Shimi blinked, almost immediately calming down. "…Oh, okay."
-----
Zess & Toadsworth / To & Too (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Ledge)
Collaborating by searching in different areas with the provided binoculars, the four racers quickly, but carefully, scanned the darkening horizon.
"Apparently, the clue says the flag is hanging from a gate of some sort or something…we need to search a cave in the forest." Toadsworth recalled. "But the wording is somewhat hard to comprehend—are we searching for a flag on the gate?"
"Probably…we won't know until we see it." Too shrugged. "It shouldn't take too long, but with such a small target…"
"Ooh, I see it!" To shouted excitedly.
"Really?! Where?"
"You see that one cave over there, with that unique trail and lake near it?"
"Yeah…" Zess nodded slowly.
"There are some really small gates near that cave with a flag plastered in front!" To revealed. "Come on!"
Having no choice but to trust or be left behind, the older Toads followed the younger ones as they rushed back down the trail.
-----
Andy & King: Best Friends (DK Mountain, Dirt Lot)
Ignoring the Roadblock clue box as they passed by, the Glitz Pit minor league fighters immediately started running up the trail to the top of the mountain.
"This seems like a long, unforgiving hike…in the dark, it sorta gives me the creeps." Andy remarked.
"Why dat? You know some creepy fable 'bout here?" King inquired.
"…Course not. I already said I don't know anything about this island except for what the plane passengers told us, and most of them were strange recluses or naïve vacationers."
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners (DK Mountain, Mountain Trail)
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Rub-a-dub tub takes the delicious clock for a walk into the treetop beans!)" Smorgo said dreamily.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Great goober geese grapes got goodie glistening gloop!)" Smorga recited steadily.
Now, while talking, it seemed the Smorg were absentmindedly moving slowly up the mountain trail, rolling at what could be considered a strolling pace for their size.
-----
Shimi (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Green)
Taking his putt carefully, being careful not to swing wrongly, Shimi managed to make the ball fall into the hole.
"WHOO! I GOT THE FALL INTO THE HOLE!" Shimi exclaimed, rushing back up the branch with his caddy bag in his fin.
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- Currently in Last (Congo Canopy Golf Course, Hole 9 Tee-Box)
By the time he got back up to the tee box, Shimi realized that his partner had already obtained the clue.
"So? What's next? We've gotta hurry to pull outta last place danger!" Shimi urged edgily.
"'Detour. "Snap" or "Scope." What kind of handling are you good at?'" Waitress read hastily. "Um…let's do 'Scope!' It sounds fast!"
Hurrying back into their golf cart, the two threw their bags into the back. Waitress allowed Shimi to complete the intended quick drive back to the clubhouse.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Congo Canopy Base)
"We're fighting to stay out of last place now! You better drive us there without any problems!" Queen said threateningly. "I don't want to go home today!"
"Don't worry; as long as you can read a freakin' map, we're fine!" Beldam said, throwing the map into Queen's face.
"Argh, fine!" Queen pulled the paper away from her head. "Take that trail, right there, and follow it!"
-----
Quite similar to the surrounding forest areas of Kongo Jungle, the Jungle Japes was covered in a mass of trees, fauna, and strange wooden structures, along with several rivers of fast-running water. Strangely, although the sun's rays hit both jungle areas, the Jungle Japes region seemed to be a bit darker and drearier than its counterpart.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Jungle Japes, Unnamed River)
The marked vehicle of the major league fighters pulled up to a stop at the dirty lot located right next to the wooden boathouse built by the river. Leaping out with nothing but the travel pack, the brothers rushed over to the flag on a wooden post near the river.
"These should be the marked rafts we're supposed to use…" Hamma commented, turning his headlamp on. "This should be a cool boat ride."
"Yeah…really cool…" Flare trailed off. "Ya know…I've heard this river is completely INFESTED with Klaptraps…it'd be bad if someone…fell in…wouldn't it?"
Hamma rolled his eyes, and grabbed one of the provided steering poles, which seemed to be made of a really hard steel material. He stepped onto the raft, followed by Flare, who just barely got on before the push forced the raft away from shore.
-----
Because of its so-called glamorous view of the surrounding Kongo Jungle, the DK Mountain's peak had been ridded of the normal safety fences; in front of their usual place was the laid-out pit stop mat. Behind the familiar platform stood a red Yoshi, and a recognizable, muscular, red tie-wearing, gorilla. Blaise seemed to be putting up with DK's "light" snacking of bananas by the bunches for the moment, but it was obvious from his twitching that the adamant eating was clearly getting on his nerves. Nevertheless, he noted the sound of body parts scraping against the craggy mountain rocks, and smacked the primate to attention.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
Struggling to make it to the pit stop mat with Smorg piggybacking on their backs for seemingly no reason, Andy and King stumbled up the last few feet separating them from the pad.
"What is their deal, dawg?" King complained, flinging Smorgo off of his shell. "You'd think they got some kinda Fuzzy genes in 'em?"
"I wouldn't be half-surprised." Andy admitted, plucking Smorga and placing him/her/it down on the ground.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Taxi go bye-bye dinosaur!)" Smorga exclaimed.
Since the Smorg made no attempt to roll onto the mat, the homeboys had no trouble in walking on.
"Eh heh…" DK quickly swallowed the banana piece he was eating. "Welcome to Kong Island, home of the Kongs, hoo-hoo!"
"Real pleasure, dawg." King responded.
"True. Real cool place you got." Andy agreed.
Blaise looked the two fighters in the eye before proceeding to speak.
"Andy and King…" Blaise paused, looking over at the Smorg with a raised eyebrow. "…You are team number one."
Andy & King: Best Friends- 1st Place, 7:58 P.M.
The homeboys stared sullenly before the late reaction sprung forth.
"We're wha—?" King asked with mock disbelief. "No way, man!"
"Awesome!" Andy exclaimed, exchanging a high-five with his partner. "I guess the Fast Forward really paid off!"
"Apparently, it probably did." Blaise acknowledged, shrugging his shoulders. "Well…for winning this eighth leg of the race, you have both won a home gym, complete with the latest in aerobic and aerobic exercise to keep you in shape. Obviously, I think that you two would be able to do a lot of good with that."
"You bet."
Looking back at the two completely clueless Smorg, the friends looked at each other and nodded. They went over, picked them up, and dropped them onto the mat.
"…I seriously wish they had penalties or something…there's no way they should be placing this high." Blaise shook his head disapprovingly. "Why'd you have to do that…ugh. Smorgo and Smorga, you're team number two…whatever…"
Smorgo & Smorga: Miasma Partners- 2nd Place, 7:59 P.M.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Boom-boom marshmallow pop!)" Smorgo giggled.
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (Groovy helicopter chicken!)" Smorga snorted.
Blaise sighed. "…How in the world did they get chosen as part of the cast?"
-----
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Congo Canopy Base)
"I really hope we can catch up to the shadow girls…they didn't leave too far ahead of us, did they?" Waitress asked.
"I don't think so…even if they did, they'd probably get bossed, anyway." Shimi answered.
Taking the wheel of the car, Waitress maneuvered the vehicle out from the parking area and into the surrounding jungle.
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Jungle Japes, Unnamed River Klaptrap Net)
After steering their wooden raft down the fast-moving river for a while, the brothers arrived at a small section of the river that prevented the large object from proceeding with a wooden barricade. Directly in front of it was a large net that was partially submerged in the water; several Klaptraps moved about within its boundaries.
"I'm guessing this is the place…" Flare muttered, stepping off of the mat and onto the slippery net. "Whoa!"
"Careful…I've heard that this net is completely infested with Klaptraps…it'd be bad if someone got cornered, wouldn't it?" Hamma teased, stepping onto the net…and slipping.
Flare laughed, grabbing the equipment from the raft.
"Well…it's time to maim some tail…" Flare smirked, taking a clamp from the raft. He placed it down in the sight of the Klaptraps, which had started slowly moving over to his position.
-----
Zess & Toadsworth / To & Too (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
"I can see the flag right there!" To pointed.
"Wonderful! We made it!" Zess applauded.
Parking their respective cars outside the cavern, the two teams headed into the lantern-lit room.
"So now we have to search through these bananas for an envelope…sounds quite involving." Toadsworth murmured. "I hope that none of them are bruised, rotten, or spoiled…"
"Eww…that would soil our clothes." Too made a face, laughing.
Quickly setting to work, the foursome began moving about the bananas with their scanners in an attempt to locate a clue.
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Jungle Japes, Unnamed River Klaptrap Net)
"Oh, gosh…hold up…stand back…"
Swiping at the Klaptraps with a club, Hamma stunned one, allowing Flare to quickly wrap up its mouth and bind its legs together.
"That's two." Flare declared, placing the now-still reptile on the near shore. "Just gotta get one more…"
"Well, with these weird things clawing at me like this, we'll get it in no time." Hamma responded.
Within a few minutes of having arrived at the net, the two had succeeded in capturing three Klaptraps as their method of Hamma stunning and Flare tying worked. A nearby Lakitu, who had been supervising to ensure that they didn't get hurt, floated down and handed them their next clue.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- Currently in 3rd (Jungle Japes, Unnamed River Klaptrap Net)
Taking the envelope and ripping it open, Flare read the Route Info aloud.
"'Make your way through the Kongo Jungle to DK Mountain, and locate the wooden rope bridge, where you will find your next clue.'"
"By the way, guys…" the Lakitu said. "…If you go through those trees right over there, you'll find a small cart that can take you back to the lot with your car."
"Great to hear. Thanks." Hamma said.
Upon dashing through the nearby trail, the brothers encountered a small line of small carts much like the golf carts back at the Congo Canopy. They quickly picked one and drove it down the road in the direction of the boathouse.
-----
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Base)
"Hurry up!" called Beldam.
Whether it was because of their association with darkness or their hurry, the ladies had found it unnecessary to bring lights with them—instead, when Queen caught up, the two rushed up the trail.
"Is this really a good idea? I already wrecked my hair once, you know." Queen reminded.
"Oh, shut up! This isn't the time to care about your hair!" Beldam replied.
"Well, wait up! You're going too fast!"
"You're going too slow!"
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Jungle Japes, Unnamed River)
"Come on, we've gotta scat!" Hamma said, rushing his brother out of the cart.
"I'm goin', I'm goin'!" Flare replied irately.
Although Flare stumbled on a tree root jutting out across the trail, the brothers managed to make it back to their marked car and sped off.
-----
To & Too: Sisters- Currently in 4th (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
"Yay! I found one!" Too called, pulling a yellow container from the fruits.
"Cool!" To clapped. "Where are we going?"
"…DK Mountain's wooden rope bridge." Too answered. "Do you want us to wait for you guys?"
"No, it's okay. We can find one and catch up to you." Zess waved.
Nodding, the female Toads headed out of the cave and back into their marked car.
"Okay…DK Mountain should be a few miles in that direction…we're going to have to backtrack this road to get to it." To instructed.
"Got it."
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- Currently in 5th (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
A matter of seconds after the sisters had pulled out of the area in front of the cave, Toadsworth managed to find an envelope hidden amongst the pile of bananas.
"I have found one, Zessy." Toadsworth announced.
"Good, good…hopefully we can meet up with To and Too at the bridge." Zess remarked. "We already know where we're headed, so let's go!"
"Capital!"
Moving out of the cavern, the two elderly Toads got back into their 4x4 in hopes of catching up with their allies.
-----
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Base)
Noticing that there was already another marked car in the area, Waitress didn't bother to smoothly park the vehicle; she brought it to an abrupt stop near the entrance.
"Come on, Shimi, we can't waste any time!" Waitress urged.
"Alright, I'm scurrying to batch up to you!" Shimi replied, bounding out of the 4x4 with his headlight on.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Ledge)
"Keep looking, Beldam…maybe if we squint hard enough in this infernal darkness, we'll be able to see the flag." Queen encouraged.
"I don't need your instructions, girl." Beldam responded sassily. "Besides, the flag is somewhat glow-in-the-dark. It should be easy to see once you have it in your range."
"Well, I certainly don't see it." Queen said, giving a light 'hmph.'
After a few minutes of fruitless searching, the shadow folk were surprised to see the express workers catch up with them.
"Oh, great…we have company." Beldam muttered.
"Quick, Shimi! We have to find the flag so we can get out of here!" Waitress insisted.
"I'll find it in a beef jerky!" Shimi answered.
For a few moments, all that could be heard were the chirps of crickets.
-----
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- Currently in 3rd (DK Mountain, Dirt Lot)
Tearing through the jungle path, the brothers emerged at the edge of the canyon to find the clue box and the stand with the stickers, which had a small lantern sitting on top lit ablaze with fire.
"I wonder what we're doing here…" Flare murmured, pulling a sticker from the post.
"…Well, here's your clue. 'Roadblock. Who wants to become one with the wind?'" Hamma read. "So…who should do this one?"
"I dunno. I guess I will." Flare shrugged, taking the red folder. "…I get to bungee jump?! ALRIGHT!"
"What?! No fair!" Hamma bawled. "DANGIT, BRO!"
Flare teased his brother on the way to the middle, where the tank top-wearing Krusha was, but since he wasn't looking where he was going, he tripped and fell at the feet of the Kremling.
"…Dude, if that's how you plan on bungee jumping, I'd recommend taking the penalty." Krusha teased.
"Er, shut up…" Flare growled, sitting obediently as he was fitted with the harness.
-----
Beldam & Queen / Shimi & Waitress (Unnamed Monkey Mountain Ledge)
Almost simultaneously, Beldam and Waitress spotted the flag hidden in the jungle.
"I see it! It's over there, near that cave!" Waitress pointed, jumping up and down. "Shimi, take note of it! We need to go!"
"On my day!" Shimi affirmed.
"Don't waste your time putting those things back; come on!" Queen scolded.
"Zip it!" Beldam commanded, putting the binoculars back on the table. "Maybe if you'd help me, we wouldn't be in such a situation!"
"Whatever!" Queen responded.
In the mad rush back to the jeeps, Shimi and Waitress easily beat out Beldam and Queen, getting in and pulling out before the shadows even had a chance to so much as open their car door.
"Great! Now we're in last!" quipped Queen. "You better drive this thing ultra fast!"
-----
To & Too: Sisters- Currently in 4th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
The pink-haired Toad pulled the next numbered sticker from the post, while her sister took an envelope out of the clue box.
"'Roadblock. Who wants to become one with the wind?'" Too read. "Well…looks like Flare is getting ready to jump. I did that thing back at Giant Land, right? I guess it's your turn for an extreme sport, since I get to do all the fun stuff."
"Yay me." To giggled.
Flare (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
As the sisters sat down nearby to wait, Flare got ready to leap.
"Well, if you die, remember I'll be running this race alone!" Hamma called over.
"Yeah…real great." Flare remarked sarcastically. "I'll be sure to put Bamma in my will, but not you."
"Heh, brotherly love…" Hamma sneered.
Shaking his head, the Fire Brother muttered something under his breath.
"Whenever you're ready, just go for it." The Krusha said, motioning for Flare to go ahead.
"Alright, then…" Flare responded. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before leaning over slightly in a diving position. Then, he jumped.
"And there he goes." To stated.
"OH, CRUUUUD! WOOOOOOOOOO!"
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- Currently in 5th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"Oh, goodness…is that what this is for?" Zess questioned, pulling a sticker off the post and an envelope from the box.
"Yup…bungee jumping." Too nodded.
The old Toads looked at each other nervously, then back over at the bridge.
"Well…the darkness should make the leap less terrifying, I suppose…" Toadsworth mentioned.
"In that case, you can do it." Zess said, handing the Roadblock folder to him.
"…Fiddlesticks."
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- Currently in 3rd (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
After a bit of tugging, the Krusha heaved Flare up from the jump. He pulled off the harness and produced a clue from his tank top.
"Thanks, dude!" Flare accepted the envelope and rushed over to Hamma while To strode over to get suited up.
"Come on…where are we going?" Hamma inquired.
"'Make your way on foot to the next possible pit stop, at the highest point of the trail of DK Mountain. Warning: The last team to check in may be eliminated.'" Flare read. "Alright; it's time to hike to the pit stop!"
To (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"This feels so weird…I'm scared…" To murmured.
"You can do it, sis!" Too cheered.
"If it makes you feel better, Toadsy will be going after you!" Zess called out.
"Gee, thank you…"
To giggled. "Well…I guess if you put it that way…"
-----
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
"This is the place." Waitress said, recognizing the flag. "Come on!"
Upon entering the cavern, the two train workers grabbed scanners and began searching amongst the bananas.
"I feel really fruity," remarked Shimi.
-----
To (DK Mountain, Bungee Jump)
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
-----
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
Erratically parking the vehicle outside the cave, the shadow women hurried inside.
"Grab a scanner and get searching! We need to move it!" Beldam commanded.
"I've got one, so stop yelling!" Queen shouted.
Hurriedly skimming the surface of the yellow ocean, the four racers kept a sharp eye on their scanner screens.
-----
To & Too: Sisters- Currently in 4th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"Thank you!" To took the envelope and rushed over to her sister while Toadsworth reluctantly headed across the bridge.
"We're going to the pit stop, right?" Too asked.
To looked over the Route Info. "Yeah! It's at the top of the mountain! Come on; we need to hurry!"
Toadsworth (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"I suppose I should just get this over with…" Toadsworth sighed. "Star Haven, please help me…"
Snorting, the Krusha continued to fit the harness.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
"Crap, it's so freakin' dark!"
Stumbling up the mountain trail up to the pit stop, the flashlight-less brothers hopped onto the mat.
"Welcome DK Mountain, home of the Kongs!" DK greeted. He opened another banana and started eating it.
"Sure, whatever…"
Blaise looked at the duo. "Hamma and Flare. You are the third team to arrive."
"Just get on with it and stop with the dramatics." Flare demanded.
"…Right…because of the Mismatch Rod curse, you will have to wait thirty minutes. In addition, you voluntarily chose to quit a task, so an added four hours will be given to your time penalty. Go to sleep or something, and we'll tell you if you're eliminated later or blah…" Blaise said dismissively. "Either that, or you can just hope that Beldam and Queen don't get here within half an hour. They are your main competition in terms of time."
"Tch. They won't." Hamma shrugged.
Toadsworth (DK Mountain, Bungee Jump)
"Oh my! I sure am glad I took off my glasses!"
-----
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- Currently in 6th (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
Leaping back into their 4x4, the shadow folk opened their retrieved clue.
"Step on it, Beldam! DK Mountain!" Queen ordered. "GO!"
"I'm going already!" Beldam answered, stomping her shadow on the gas pedal. "Sheesh…"
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- Currently in Last (Jungle Hijinks, Banana Hoard)
"I rounded one!" Shimi proclaimed. "We need to go to DJ Fountain."
"…Where's DJ Fountain?" Waitress asked confusedly. "Let me see that…it's not DJ Fountain, Shimi…it's…oh, never mind…"
Shrugging, the Cheep-Cheep obliviously followed his partner out of the hoard.
-----
Zess & Toadsworth: Long-Distance Dating- Currently in 5th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"'Make your way on foot to the next possible pit stop, at the highest point of the trail of DK Mountain. Warning: The last team to check in may be eliminated.'" Toadsworth read. "Well, that cannot be, since Andy and King K. went for the Fast Forward and didn't return…they must have already finished the leg."
"Good reasoning…that's very true." Zess mused. "Well, we better get started…my feet will be sore in the morning from this hike…"
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Time Penalty Remaining- 4:05:31) (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
The brothers looked up grudgingly as approaching voices started to round the corner.
"If that's the purple weirdos, then I'm a flying monkey's uncle." Flare stated.
"It's not. Just listen to those annoying voices." Hamma beckoned.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
Said team slowly hiked the last few feet to the mat, slowly waved to the unresponsive brothers, and jumped on.
"Heehee! Welcome to Kong Island, home of the Kongs!" DK welcomed.
"Oh! Thanks!"
"To and Too." Blaise nodded slowly. "You are team number three."
To & Too: Sisters- 3rd Place, 9:03 P.M.
"Yay! We got third!" To clapped excitedly.
"Maybe if we're lucky, we can get higher tomorrow!" Too added.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- Currently in 6th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"It's a Roadblock. 'Who wants to become one with the wind?'" Beldam read. "You know what? I think you do."
"What? Me? You can't be serious…" Queen muttered. After receiving a glare, she sighed. "Oh, alright, fine. Let me see it."
Handing her partner the clue, Beldam was soon wishing she hadn't.
"WHAT?! Bungee jumping! Nuh-uh! No way am I doing something this! There is NO way I'm going to do that! You can't make me!" Queen screamed.
"Well, you did that gliding thing back at Giant Land." Beldam reasoned.
"I don't care! This is dumb! I'd rather take another penalty!" Queen said, jabbing her finger into Beldam's side.
"Ow! What is wrong with you, girl? Too chicken or something?" Beldam suggested. "Go get in there!"
"I'm not going to stand for your blatant disrespect, you know." Queen argued.
"Well, I'M not your servant anymore, you know!" Beldam replied. "I'm not some robot here to do your bidding! Just get it over with!"
Shoved onto the bridge, Queen angrily glowered at the Shadow Siren with a heated, livid stare.
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Time Penalty Remaining- 3:35:27) (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
"Well, it's too late now. We're still in the race, no matter how you look at it." Flare said defiantly. "Turns out, that penalty didn't hurt us a bit."
"Got that right…" Hamma smirked.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
"Here it is!"
"Oh, my! It's Donkey Kong!"
Visibly exhausted from their long hike up the mountain, the two Toads leaned on each other and awaited the verdict.
"Welcome Kong Island, home of the Kongs!" DK said, hugging Toadsworth.
"Hey! He's my Toadsy-worthsy!" Zess scolded, stealing Toadsworth back from the gorilla, who laughed.
Blaise waited patiently for the two Toads to jump back upon noticing their closeness to each other before speaking. "Zess and Toadsworth. You are team number four."
Zess & Toadsworth: Possibly Dating- 4th Place, 9:40 P.M.
"Thank goodness…now we can finally rest…" Zess sighed, collapsing on the mat. "Man, was that tiring…"
"Indeed…how we managed to keep on going, I'll never know…" Toadsworth chuckled.
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- Currently in Last (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"It looks like we're last…drat!" Shimi shouted, apprehensive of what could happen. "Roadblock! Who is bready to come to the finding?"
"That made no sense at all…not exactly the best of signs." Waitress urgently wrestled the Roadblock folder away from the fish. "…Become one with the wind? I'll go ahead and do it."
Queen (DK Mountain, Bungee Jump)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BEEEEELLLDAAAAM, IIIIIII HAAAAATE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Time Penalty Remaining- 3:25:59) (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
Uninterested with the humorous sight of DK eating banana after banana, the brothers had fallen asleep shortly after the previous check-in.
Beldam & Queen: Former Servant & Master- Currently in 6th (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"The pit stop! Oh, gosh! I hope that we can stay in even though we have a penalty!" Beldam wished. "Come on, Queen! HURRY!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming! Keep your stupid nose on!" Queen responded.
Waitress (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"This is really, really, scary…" Waitress murmured. "I don't know if I want to go through with this…"
"What's so fairy about it?" Shimi questioned.
"Will you just look at that? This cliff has got to be, like, I don't know—a thousand or something feet deep! That's what's so scary!" Waitress exclaimed incredulously.
"It's only about nine-hundred feet." The Krusha corrected. "Hold still…"
After getting the Toad suited up, the Kremling stepped back and motioned for her to go ahead and leap.
"Oh, gosh…I can't believe I'm about to do this…" Waitress gulped. "Okay…one…two…three… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Hamma & Flare: Brothers (Time Penalty Remaining- 3:13:09) (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
Still snoring away like hammers on concrete, the brothers continued to sleep, waiting out their penalty.
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- Currently in Last (DK Mountain, Wooden Bridge)
"'The last team to check in may be eliminated.'" Waitress read.
"Is that mowing to be us?" Shimi asked sadly.
"…Probably not…the Ham-bros. and shadows took penalties, remember? We should be able to check in before them…but still! Hurry!" Waitress urged.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
Blaise listened intently as he heard the sounds of another team approaching. He quickly whispered to DK to make him straighten up as the next duo came into view.
"Welcome to Kong Island, home of the Kongs!" DK shouted.
"…Ew…what is that thing?"
DK's face fell as he became unsure of whether to frown or to smile. He decided to do a bit of both.
"Beldam and Queen." Blaise stated quietly. "You are the sixth team to arrive. However, before I can check you in, you will have to wait out your four-hour penalty."
"Four hours?" Queen repeated. "…There's no way that those fancy-pants train workers will be delayed that long…"
"We tried…" Beldam smiled dejectedly.
Team ? (DK Mountain, Lookout Point)
As expected, the Excess Express employees tiredly rushed up to the pit stop mat and stepped on.
"Welcome to Kong Island, home of the Kongs." DK bowed graciously.
"Thanks…it's a real pleasure to be here."
"Yeah! To be square!"
"…"
"Shimi and Waitress." Blaise nodded. "You are team number five."
Shimi & Waitress: Train Workers- 5th Place, 10:24 P.M.
It took a moment for Blaise's words to register in the brains of the two, but when they did, their gloomy faces immediately brightened.
"YEAH! WE'RE STILL IN THIS!"
"WOOPEE!"
Embracing tightly and jumping around like crazy, the ruckus being made by the two was enough to wake up the tired brothers.
"Ugh…what's going on…" Flare asked groggily.
"Beldam and Queen. Hamma and Flare. Please step up." Blaise requested.
The shadow women, who had been standing off to the side holding each other and whimpering softly, slowly floated over to the mat. Still sleepy, the brothers walked a few steps and fell face-first onto the platform.
"Both teams received penalties." Blaise started. "You four do realize that, of course…as it was of your own will that you quit the task. To determine who stays in, we look at whose penalty time remaining is shorter."
Tears of grief were now streaming down the faces of Beldam and Queen; they already did the math, and knew what was coming. Hamma and Flare, on the other hand, drooled on the surface of the mat before slowly getting up.
"Because of that decision…Hamma and Flare, you are team number six."
Hamma & Flare: Brothers- 6th Place, 1:14 A.M.
"…Sixth…we cut it really close…" Hamma muttered. "We need to step it up in the next leg on all fronts…"
"You've got that right…" Flare sighed.
"And that means…" Blaise turned to the girls. Surprisingly, he actually seemed somewhat fazed by their emotional outburst prior to their check-in. "…Beldam and Queen…you are the last team to check in."
Beldam & Queen: Formerly Servant & Master- Last Place, 2:03 A.M.
Seeing that both were unresponsive, the red Yoshi continued.
"I'm sorry to tell you that you've both been eliminated from the race." Blaise apologized contritely.
"…I knew it…" Queen murmured.
"It's okay…really." Beldam mumbled.
"Coming into the race, I definitely wasn't confident about how I was going to fare, especially with my partner. Queen was uncontrollable; she was out of her world domination state, but into a new faze where she cared about nobody but herself, being unreasonably cocky and self-serving…or so I thought. If anything, I'm glad that the race showed her that just because you were bad at one point, you don't have to be bad forever…I learned that shortly after her defeat, and I'm forever grateful to my sisters for helping me pull through with such a move. But to me, it means more that it was Queen that also changed…" Beldam sniffed, pausing to wipe some tears away. "I really wonder how our lives will be changed with this new dynamic…we're on good terms now, so what will happen? How'll we become better friends? I hope that it all ends up for the best."
"I learned a lot from just this one experience. Who knew that something so futile such as a competition would be so…remarkable? A period of ruling, a thousand years of anger and sorrow, and a time of nothing but darkness…and now an adventure I'm likely to never forget. There's life for you." Queen laughed slightly, taking the time to wipe her face of tears that continued to roll, despite her smile. "I'm especially grateful to King, because of what he did for me—he showed me what it meant to live, and helped drag me out of my pit of naivety. It isn't very often that you're touched simply by a gangster Koopa that seems to be as hardened as you are…but then again, I guess that I wasn't so hardened after all… Nevertheless…I'm glad to know that I shared such an experience with someone who was so unbelievably tolerant…and I thought that Vivian was always the one to step back and observe the shadows…"
While Shimi and Waitress quietly and kindly comforted the newly eliminated team, Hamma and Flare uncomfortably stood off to the side, watching the display with a small bit of repugnance. Without warning, DK grabbed the whole group in for a comforting group hug, to which Blaise didn't take very kindly. After being calmed down, the two shadows stared into the lantern that lit up the pit stop as they slowly retreated back into the shadows, waving.
The welcome darkness seemed to flicker in sympathy. Above, in the sky, space glimmered with millions and millions of stars, each one appearing to direct their light purposefully towards the small isle. On land, the wind subsided, and everything grew quiet and still. Although a two, at first, strange individuals, had ended up losing their opportunity to win the race, their opportunities for life were now as expansive as Kong Island.
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Next time, on the Amazing Race…
A new, never-before seen type of transport takes the teams somewhere they would have thought impossible.
"Oh, wow! Here we go!" Too clapped excitedly.
The group waited in anxious silence as the transporting vehicle started to rumble into motion.
"This is going to be so cool!" To giggled.
Several team members struggle to master what skills are needed to steer through the Roadblock.
"I just don't understand why I can't get the gist of this…what is so difficult about it?" Zess questioned.
"GARGH! This is so darn confusing!" Hamma shouted, slamming his fists down.
And one team narrowly averts disaster…
"SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG (For trees the microphones happy dance a lot!)" Smorgo sang.
Oblivious to the time bomb floating nearby, which was starting to beep faster and faster, the two Smorg continued to dance.
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Leg 8 Trivia:
- This is the first leg in which teams traveled to one of the more unique areas said to be located within the Mushroom world—Donkey Kong Island.
- The first destination on DK Isle, Congo Canopy, is often mentioned in sources as a single tree that branches out into large, leafy platforms. However, the author is a rebellious and non-educated person who decided that it supposedly made more sense for the canopy to be made up of several extraordinarily large trees.
- A play on the Donkey Kong game series is made by the Jungle-Sphere flight departing from terminal 'K3,' which was a frigid mountain range in the Northern Kremisphere. However, it is thought that the Northern Kremisphere and Kong Island are separated—this is what the author used as the basis for location separation (not that it would have mattered, considering some of the out-of-place locations).
- This leg's Roadblock somehow ended up being similar to the Fast Forward of another TAR author on coming out within the same month. Initially, it was designed after the "Extremely Swiss" option of the Leg 9 Detour in TAR3, and the Leg 6 Roadblock in TAR9. Coincidentally, the bungee jump number that this Roadblock features is supposedly the sum of the combined jumps from both seasons.
- Unless the author is badly mistaken, this is the first leg in which a team quit a task. Although the American edition of TAR involves the penalty for quitting a Roadblock being 4 hours when the next team arrives to that spot, the author uses a modified version of the Asian TAR, where penalties are applied at the pit stop (although this has only been used for Roadblocks, in this series, it applies to Detours, Roadblocks, and any additional such tasks required on the main track).
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Author's Note: I seriously do apologize, everyone…let's see…I think this is the second completely blind leg in which I've never played any of the games where the destination was from (fourth if you include user-creations Harborside Cabana and Clayouse Mesas), the first true one being Giant Land. Technically, I have played a Donkey Kong game that involved Kong Island before, but that was a long time ago. I think the game was Donkey Kong Land for the GBA, and I've since then somehow misplaced the cartridge…oh well, that's what Internet sources are for, I guess. But the thing is, a really hard detail about this leg was placing the spin-off areas I wanted to use as actual locations within the island (if you read, they would be the Congo Canopy from Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour and DK Mountain from Mario Kart: Double Dash; another example would be DK Pass from Mario Kart DS), considering the already-placed locations such as the Monkey Mountains and Monkey Mines. Oh well…there goes another continuity error on my impossibilities log…gonna have it filled by the time the series is over, won't I?