Chapter 10
Name Fusions
"Sebastian, is this really the time or place to discuss it? In my bathroom, watching me urinate?"
"Yeah, why not? It's not like we're telling this story to anyone else and besides, Hummel, you're the one that paid me in cookies to shower."
"It always surprises me how much you keep up with personal hygiene."
"So, Hummel…"
"Yes, Sebastian?"
"When we get married, you're the one that's going to change your name, right?"
"We're both changing our names, you idiot. There is no female in this relationship."
"Are you sure, Hummel? Have you looked at your hips?"
"Sebastian, I am very close trying to choke you with that toothbrush. Can you please not comment on my so called 'hips'? And besides, I have more than enough muscle to make up for anything you might find demeaning. You, however—I know women that have more muscle tone than you."
"Hummel—"
"And don't try telling me you have some form of myopathy!"
"Shit."
"No, Sebastian, I am urinating. And I cannot believe we're having this conversation here in all of the places in the universe."
"Who cares? So, wait, we're both changing our name? How does that go? Kurt Smythe-Hummel and Sebastian Smythe-Hummel…or the other way around? Kurt Hummel-Smythe and Sebastian Hummel-Smythe…'cause both ways—sounds like a cat dying."
"Sebastian, a cat dying is our relationship."
"Shut up. Blaine the cat is very alive."
"My last name comes first. It's Kurt Hummel-Smythe and Sebastian Hummel-Smythe. The other way sounds more out of tone."
"Damn."
"What is it now, Sebastian? Yes, it sounds ridiculous but…"
"Fuck, it's going to be a bitch to write that."
"Oh, Mr Sebastian Hummel-Smythe, all the things you must sacrifice for me."