I know, I know, this took a long time. The writing is slow going, but I will perservere.
Don't own, don't sue, sing it if you know the words...
"Oh, what may man within him hide,
Though an angel on the outward side!"
- William Shakespeare
THE MEASURE OF MAN
Chapter 10 - Only The Dead Know
As you might suspect, the second hero was not destroyed completely when he let himself fall into the Lifestream. True, his body burned away in the mako, delicately, like fire consuming paper. But so great was his devotion to Her that he did not feel any pain, did not notice his earthly shell was being destroyed until it was gone. The second hero found himself in a strange world of peace and comfort, all white and misty with a sea of stars above.
She came to him then, in a human guise more noble than that of any queen, and all clad in armor. When the hero found his voice, he asked Her, without thinking, "My lady, who is it you fight?"
"The Calamity," She answered, without moving her lips. "The Dark One who fell from the sky."
"But surely, my lady, heroes such as I can defeat it for you."
She smiled, a warm, motherly smile. "Not you, but a hero like you will come, and with the aid of two others, he will defeat the Calamity. Until then, all I can ask of my champions is to do good deeds in my name."
"My lady, can I not go back, and do these noble deeds you speak of?"
"No," She said. "You have given up your earthly form to find me. But all is not lost. Your life of doing good has earned you a place here among the dead and unborn. You may watch with me as new heroes rise, and fall, and new ones take thier place, until the time comes for the Dark One to fall."
"What sort of people will they be, Lady?" the hero asked, betraying a hint of worry.
With her eyes facing the future of this living world, the Goddess smiled, and did not answer.
scscscsc
"Synaptic net dive commencing."
Usually the monotone of Shelke Rui's voice was a comfort to Dr. Kanawa; it meant that work was proceeding. But lately it had seemed less and less likely they would succeed. Shelke was learning all kinds of information - about history, former civilizations, dead languages - but no sign of Genesis Rhapsodos. And they had searched nearly all the natural mako in the Banora area.
All around Kanawa, other doctors and technical personnel were analyzing and categorizing Shelke's data, too busy or too kind to remark to him that there were few hiding places left to search. Even Dr. Lowvale, who approached him, seemed less excited than usual.
"No sign of him yet?" Lowvale asked again.
"None."
"Sir, we have to consider that concentrated mako dissolves organic matter. Genesis's body may be long gone."
"I am prepared for that. We have bodies here - " Kanawa indicated the clones. " - if only we can locate his soul."
"Sir, I do have some news. One of my techs restored part of a deleted, encrypted file concerning that thing," Lowvale said quietly, gesturing to the other side of the lab.
"Excellent, what is it?"
"Apparently, Null the Obsidian was created as a failsafe, to take down Sephiroth if he ever proved to be too much to handle."
Kanawa nodded as he absorbed this. "Something stronger than Sephiroth? No wonder it's well-imprisoned."
"Sir...destroy it. Please."
"What?" Kanawa was taken aback. "What if we fail, and Strife fails, and Sephiroth runs loose on the world? You've just told me ShinRa is prepared for such a catastrophic event, and you want to throw that third chance away?"
"Sir, I don't like it. We can't be sure that thing will be loyal to ShinRa. And even then...all this creating the most powerful warrior to stop the one who was made before...I don't trust it. We're trying to make both sides even and it can't be done."
"I hear you, Lowvale, and your objections are noted. I will think on your request, but for now, my answer stands."
"Yes, Doctor."
Such was Dr. Kanawa's distraction that he didn't know he had approached the lab's exit until the door opened before him. He found himself taking the elevator up, walking a quiet corridor to a storage room dressed up as a makeshift infirmary. There was little he could do here, except take Reno's pulse and confirm that it was strong. He nodded to Tseng, who sat half in shadow in a corner, and received a nod in return.
"He doesn't seem to be aware of us." Kanawa's voice felt oddly painful in the room's dead silence.
"He knows I am here," Tseng murmured, and Kanawa wasn't sure what to say to that. "He talks sometimes, but not to me. Even so..."
"I believe I understand. Commander, you must be tired."
"As long as Reno is here, I will be. And someone must give the president constant updates, or he will be too distracted to attend to his duties."
"I must say, I'm surprised he hasn't come in and dragged Reno out."
"He wants to. But Reno may be what's keeping Strife alive."
"And so, even though we may not need Strife again..."
Tseng smiled sadly. "Cloud is a good man, and we have repaid his valor with betrayal too many times. I will allow no harm to come to him. I wish to honor a vow I made to Zack."
"Aha. And Zack Fair is that handsome young man on Cloud's other side?"
The half-transparent figure smiled cheekily. "Nice to meet you too, Doc." There was a pause. "I'm not gonna say that, Angeal. Don't be so possessive, jeez."
Tseng laughed, and Kanawa joined in, uneasily. He had heard stories of Angeal Hewley, and was uncertain what kind of power the dead could wield.
"Is Strife all right?" Kanawa asked.
"Cloud's cool," Zack answered, squeezing the hand he held. "Just having to process a lot of new information, and who knows how much of it will help him. Find Genesis yet?"
"No. Can you, the dead, not sense him at all?"
Kanawa asked this hopefully, but Zack shook his head.
"Nah. It's like he's not in the Lifestream at all. Same with Seph, but in Seph's case, Jenova may be masking him."
"Perhaps Gaia is shielding Genesis from you, Doctor," Tseng said.
"But why? Why would She?"
"Gaia protects Her heroes from enemies, right?" Zack said with a grin. "Maybe that includes nosy scientists."
scscscsc
The Fifth Harbinger
Cloud came out of Colin Moray's memory shaky and gasping, and the first thing he saw was Zack's concerned face.
"I'm all right," he choked out. "Just...I was falling for what seemed like a long time."
Moray was already gone by this time, and the next face Cloud saw was Angeal's.
"Genesis was sorry about Lieutenant Moray. I think that's what he wanted to tell me, that it was Jenova more than Genesis who did it."
Angeal let out a deep sigh, and nodded. "Thank you. I always hoped that was the case, but I was never sure."
"These memories sure are showing a different side of Genesis than the one I knew," Zack said, helping Cloud to sit up. "How funny would it be if he turned out to be a hero in disguise all this time?"
"A hero corrupted by darkness," Aerith said, and Cloud looked her way. Someone was standing with her, a Wutainese boy of no more than sixteen.
"Goro," Cloud whispered, and the boy nodded.
"An honor to meet you, Cloud Strife," Goro said, with a bow and a voice that was unusually solemn for one so young. "I come to you with a request."
"A request?"
"Yes. My death was sudden,and ShinRa covered it up, so my family never understood what happened. I would like to give you the memory of my passing, so that you can tell them how I died. I want my kinsman Godo to know."
Cloud saw his own childhood seriousness in this boy, and felt warmed by it. "All right. I'll tell him."
"Thank you, Cloud Strife. It began after the details of the treaty were finalized, and preparations for a great feast were being made. The treasure room was a private place, and I so wanted some time alone with the famous Genesis Rhapsodos. Little did I know, that would be the last thing I ever desired..."
scscscsc
The corridors were empty of guards and all their usual traffic, with torches on the walls casting eerie shadows of the dying day. Night had just begun to fall, and the crickets had begun to sing, their song supposedly telling the history of the planet. Goro stepped lightly, heavy silk slippers on the wood and stone, peering around each time they turned a corner or a noise was heard. He was so excited that his entire body felt like a koto string newly plucked, vibrating with exhiliration to think that it was THE Genesis Rhapsodos he held by the hand, THE Genesis Rhapsodos who wanted some time alone with him.
"Here, the treasure room is this one," Goro whispered, taking a key that was hanging around his neck and hurrying it to the lock. "No one will be in here now."
The heavy door swung open to what at first glance seemed to be a library, with shelves of scrolls that stretched out into the dimness. As Genesis followed Goro in, he noticed the stacks of shining swords, the heavy suits of jewelled armor, the crowns and tiaras and boxes of precious stones. He was drawn to the case of ancient-looking volumes of text, gently continuing to hold Goro by the hand. Genesis was attracted to the boy and pleased by his willingness, but seemed unable yet to turn from the books.
"Hmm, the rumors say it's in here somewhere..."
"What are you looking for, sir?"
Genesis turned to him with a flirtatious smile. "A story called Loveless, pet. Legend says the Kisaragi family possesses the last remaining complete copy, and I would like to compare it to my own."
"Of course! I think it's here..."
Goro smoothed back the sleeves of his fancy green robe, and his delicate hands went to a faded coeurl skin that sat on top of the shorter bookcase. A few moments later he had in his grasp a book, not nearly as old as some of the room's others, but he handled it with care as he passed it to an eager Genesis. The SOLDIER quickly flipped to the last four pages, blue-green eyes shining with delight.
"So it's true. At last, Loveless, you have an ending. I have waited for it for so long. How can I ever thank you, pet?" he said in a breathless voice, turning to Goro.
The younger boy blushed. "It was nothing, really. It's my duty to help look after our guests."
"You've looked after me very well indeed. But I think...now you're the one who needs some attention."
Genesis's free arm snaked around Goro's waist and drew their bodies close together. On Genesis's face was a sultry smile, and Goro gazed up at him with awe, and barely-disguised longing. Goro had been infatuated at first sight with the handsome SOLDIER who was second only to Sephiroth, ever since the formal introduction that had been their first meeting. He remembered the way Genesis looked him up and down, the heat in his offered hand, the finger that had snaked out to caress his wrist. Goro smiled as lips crashed into his own, wore his fifteen years of inexperience plainly in his clumsy movements and slight hesitation. Genesis's hands were quietly searching Goro's robe. He found a knot and undid it, opening the lower part of the boy's formal kimono.
"Don't be scared, pet."
"I'm...not."
Genesis smiled at the lie. He carefully put the old book down, and tugged Goro gently, guiding him to lay on his back on the stone floor. The boy laughed nervously, holding his knees together for a few moments before letting Genesis part his legs. He was hard, almost painfully so, and never had he been like this in the presence of another person. Genesis inhaled deeply, pressed his ear to the tingling skin of Goro's thigh, and smiled again.
"I can hear your heart, pet. I trust it is beating for me."
"Only you, always," Goro panted, his dark eyes shining.
"I quite agree."
In the next instant Genesis's mouth was on him, and the dimness of the room exploded into light, into flickering orbs like you see after a camera flash. It made Goro think of the pictures the ShinRa visitors had taken to commemorate the new treaty, though it was hard to think at all. Since his early childhood, the monks who taught Goro had impressed upon him the need for mindfulness, to be fully present in each individual moment. Never had he felt more present, more anchored to the now, than he did while Genesis's tongue and smirking mouth did their work.
It was over quickly - it was, after all, his first time - and a sort of empty feeling followed, a now that felt strangely lonely, despite the proximity of a warm body. Even so, Goro could not recall having ever felt so wanted, so happy. His arms were weak as they pushed at the floor, and Genesis licked his rosy lips as he helped Goro sit up.
"How was it, pet? More to the point, what is it worth?"
"Anything I have is yours," Goro said, still catching his breath.
"Really? Well, all I want, besides you - " The boy beamed shyly. " - is this little trifle here."
Genesis put his hand on the book, laid aside but not forgotten, and Goro's face fell.
"Loveless? Forgive me, Genesis-san, but it would not be possible. It is a treasure of the house of Kisaragi, my family would never allow it. I risked the gods' displeasure by just showing it to you."
Genesis's lips curled; somehow he managed to sneer even as he smiled. "Oh, the gods whose shapes adorn your altars, the devilish oni and the hungry ghosts, all cowering before your great sea-lizard Leviathan. Believe me, pet, the Goddess trumps them all, and she meant for this book to be mine."
Goro blinked in surprise and bowed his head. "Sir, it is not wise to anger the gods, even if you are a stranger in our lands."
"I'm a stranger everywhere. All heroes are." Genesis's smile turned seductive again. "Very well, let's speak of it no more."
Goro was plainly relieved. "If you would like some other souvenir, Genesis-san...a goblet or one of the banners, I'm sure - "
"All I want now is to taste you."
Goro's cheeks went rosy at the blunt statement, and he eagerly fell into Genesis's embrace, moaning softly as the top part of his robe was unfastened. Genesis kissed like he spoke, all power and venom masked by his charming voice and soft lips. When they had first spoken privately, Genesis told him he wore his youth like a cheap suit, that he, Genesis, could see past it to the adult Goro was longing to be. At fifteen, Goro could only be spellbound, then, and now as his mouth was ravished. He felt very grown up indeed, laughing a little as Genesis's lips broke their kiss and slowly moved down his jaw. Then to his neck, as Genesis opened the robe wider to gain better access.
"Genesis-san, I love you," he whispered, then made a tiny noise, of surprise more than pain.
Genesis's teeth had broken the skin of his neck, Goro realized that, but before he could analyze it, take stock of it at all, strange visions were flashing before his eyes. Not of his own life - that cliche of death that turned out not to be true - but of someone else's. A wintery sky, clouds moving with the wind. A brown-haired boy eating an apple. The famous Sephiroth as a child, walking out of a cave into the too-bright sun. Last of all, a Genesis utterly exhausted and for once robbed of guile, watching his father dress from a rumpled bed. Beneath the strange pleasure and the sensation of being emptied, Goro's heart went out to the familiar boy, wished he could help him.
Thus, as the darkness vanished again into a brilliant light, Goro Kisaragi's last wish was that his murderer would find peace.
scscscsc
Cloud flew to a sitting position, clutching his neck and breathing hard. It took a few moments to remember that he was alive - Sort of, anyway - and that the memory had not been his own. Goro was far away already, walking back into the light of this heaven. He turned and raised a hand in farewell to Cloud, who weakly returned the gesture.
"Are you okay?" Aerith asked, touching his arm.
"Yeah. It just seems to get more intense each time. Is that normal?"
A mischievous smile broke over her face, one Cloud remembered from the Golden Saucer. "Nothing about what we're doing could be called normal."
"I second that," Zack said, wrinkling his nose. "Genesis's sex life. I don't want to see any more of that."
"At least you didn't have to make out with him by proxy."
It took Angeal several minutes to get Zack to stop laughing.
scscscsc
I see black light. Thunderous bright darkness, easy on the eyes of both body and spirit, whichever I am now. I only know I exist because I feel Her, I hear Her voice. Jenova, Mother, whose voice has sung a venomous lullaby for me all my life. There has never been a world without Her, Jenova, the Cetra who became a Goddess.
She speaks to me in this strange dream-time, tells me that there will be no more nightmares, no more hurt, as long as I fight in Her name. Nightmares, I? Sadness? I do not know what She means. Did Sepiroth ever have such a human failing? I wish I knew the answer.
She says it is unimportant, reminds me that I was made for war and that is all I need to know. Someone else told me that, long ago, someone I hated, but I cannot remember. All I know of my life before is the feeling of my sword slashing, and Her, and Him.
Cloud. You are clearer to me than all other things, your face, the way you move when your blades are drawn. When I think of you, I see things I cannot understand. A girl's body sliding off Masamune, dead and gone like someone I once cared for, and you dared to cry, dared to do what I could not. Two men, one serious, one dramatic, who feel like comrades by my side, their presence balm to a life that promised to be lonely. Hands on me, intimately, making me sick, and lonelier. Then better hands, hands I chose to let touch me. A spiky-haired boy who smiles, who loves without condition or restraint. Crowds who cheered me, faces I used to know, to welcome the sight of. I see these things, but I cannot recall who they are.
Cloud, my enemy, the one Mother most fears. I remember only you, putting all your strength every time into defeating me, delaying Mother's plans to rule this dying planet. I am drawn to you and you to me, our eternal dance of withdrawal and Reunion that will never end until one of us dies. If we can die, if anything blessed with Mother's cells can be done away with once and for all.
I feel you, Cloud, no matter how far away you are, your presence grates against my soul like a bush of stinging nettles. I know you are a threat to Mother, that the other goddess has given you her blessing. It will not be enough to win, not this time. You are no true hero, Puppet, you are a doll fit only to be experimented on...someone said this to me once, in a bad memory She in her kindness made to go away.
She is part of everything, you see. Even the Lifestream, where fallen warriors who bear her memetic legacy move unchanged, unabsorbed, like oil poured into water. I know you are there, Cloud, and I know what it is you are trying to do. Awaken sleeping Sephiroth? I am awake. I am the Nightmare that no rising sun can banish. I am the bad dream of an entire waking world, and invoking Gaia to banish me only delays the inevitable.
Cloud? How do you manage your rage? I burned your village, and your mother with it. I killed the girl who loved you, left her to bleed red flame while Cloud the Puppet pretended to be sad. If you are whole now, if you remember everything, how do you live with it? And why would you want to save your enemy? Why? I think I knew a moment ago, but I've forgotten. I think I remember the way you felt in my arms, but Mother tells me it's a lie, a deceit of the goddess who was cruel enough to make flowers and watch them die.
For now, Cloud, you are all that matters, all I need to remember. Fate's merciless strings tie me to you, and you to me, and there is no breaking them. I will fight my way back to consciousness and find you, and I will not rest until you submit to your fate - either to accept Mother's will or die. And when you are dead, what then? It must not be Mother's preference that you die.
Why else, when thinking of it, would I feel so sad?
To be continued.