Chapter IX: We Can Be Heroes
The Almighty Disclaimer
Oh Moffat, Gatiss, and Thompson
Oh Henson and Doyle,
And Pika-la Cynique the generous,
To you belongs all the characters
And none so for me!
A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.
&%&%&%
Sarah returned to the flat with two pizzas, her mind still reeling from how stupid she was. Of course he was in love with me. He was proposing to me in the Escher room. It was a stupid proposal, but he wanted me. I knew he was doing something that I wasn't supposed to tell, but still... why? And why would he still want me after I rejected him so thoroughly?
Her train of thought was stopped by the cracked door. She dropped the pizza boxes and ran up the stairs. "Toby! Jareth!"
The horrible yellow symbols were spray painted on the windows. Jareth's work station had been upturned. "Sophie! Emily!"
Sarah looked in Jareth's room and the bathroom before entering her bedroom. She was tackled to the ground by her siblings.
"Oh God, Sarah, we were so worried," Toby said.
"What happened?" Sarah asked.
"The bad guys took Jareth," Emily said.
"They came upstairs but Jareth's spell protected us from being seen or heard," Toby said. He helped Sarah up. "Jareth said I needed to tell you 'Casablanca' but I don't know what that means."
Sarah paused for a moment and then laughed. "Of course he would. Toby, I need you to call someone in my phone book. Detective Inspector Lestrade. It's under Lestrade. Tell him that Jareth has gotten himself into a mess and that he needs to come to 221b immediately. Oh no, Mrs. Hudson. Stay here."
Mrs. Hudson was sound asleep after her "herbal soothers". Nothing had been disturbed. When Sarah returned and turned on the light, she found Sophie crying on the couch.
"Oh no, Sophie," Sarah said. She cradled her sister in her arms. "My little Sophie. Shush. If you stop crying, I can try to figure out where they took Jareth, all right?"
"Promise? He was protecting us," Sophie said.
"I promise," Sarah said.
She had Toby take over comforting Sophie and the shocked Emily. Sarah went over to the piano and searched through Jareth's pile of music until she found the picture. "Well, that's helpful," Sarah said dryly.
"The words don't help?" Sophie asked.
"What words?" Sarah asked.
Sophie pointed to the picture in Sarah's hand. After a quick look, Sarah saw that there was handwriting not belonging to Jareth that said "Nine" and "Mill". "Soo Lin you brave, stupid girl," Sarah said.
With wild abandonment, Sarah began going through the books in flat, only taking enough care not to hit her siblings. Toby joined her. "What are you looking for?"
"A book that everyone would own," Sarah said.
"How did you know where to find whatever got you all excited?" Toby asked, tossing a dictionary towards Sarah.
"In the movie Casablanca, the papers that everyone is looking for is hidden in piano music," Sarah said, "It's one of the few films Jareth has seen. We watched it last week while we were at a stakeout."
They went like this for thirty minutes until Lestrade came up the stairs. "This had better be good. I just got off a forty-eight hour stakeout that involved taking down a mob boss, Russian gangsters, and a cross-dressing Ukrainian prostitute."
"Jareth has been kidnapped by smugglers and we need to find a book that everyone owns so we can find him so he doesn't get whacked," Sarah said, "These books are from the people who were killed. We have to break the code. We already have the first two words. We just have to find those two words and we are home free."
"Dimmock's case? Don't you think that the smugglers would steal the books from the homes so there wouldn't be a guess at what book to use?" Lestrade asked.
Sarah paused. "Oh unholy Bog of Eternal Stench he's right."
Sarah looked at Jareth's shelves and tried to remember what book was missing. She didn't have the thing mesmerized and it would have been useless anyway since Jareth seemed to not care where things went. She placed her hand in the empty space on the bookshelf, remembering vaguely that there was some sort of bright white cover there. Sarah said as much.
"Everyone. Something everyone would own," Lestrade said.
"It's a guide book," Toby said, "I remember it because it was so odd compared to Jareth's other books. We have one in the hotel."
"I'll drop you off there and get the book. I can't protect you here," Sarah said, "Lestrade, sorry, but I am going to have to ask you to help me to babysit for a few minutes."
&%&%&%
As Sarah left the hotel with the London A to Zbook, remembering old book codes when she ran into her father and stepmother. "Sarah, what are doing here? Shouldn't you be with the kids?" her father asked.
"Dad, I can't stay. I love you but I need to help a friend," Sarah said.
"Oh, I hope she'll be okay," her stepmother said.
"Yeah, I hope he'll be okay," Sarah said, "Got to run! See you tomorrow!"
"He? Who's he?" Sarah's stepmother asked as Sarah ran off.
&%&%&%
If it were not for the seriousness of the situation, Sarah certain Lestrade would have snickered at the concern of her parents. As it was, they figured out the code quickly and got to the hideout faster than was legal. "How do the two of you keep ending up in these ridiculous situations?" Lestrade asked as they made their way to the tramway.
"Weird magnets. The both of us. That's my running theory, anyway," Sarah said.
They waited in the shadows, trying to assess the situation. Back-up was on the way, but Sarah doubted that they had much time.
The ring leader of the circus appeared also to be the ring leader of the smugglers and she was speaking to an obviously disoriented Jareth. "They say that you spoke in riddles to our ancestors when they treaded on your domain before you destroyed them."
"I didn't... destroy them. I merely allowed...them to fetch what they had wished away. It's not... my fault they didn't... understand a riddle that... teenagers have solved," Jareth said. So I did choose the right door, that sneaky little goblin.
"Do you have it?" the woman asked.
"What are you... talking about?"
"The treasure."
"Depends on... what you consider treasure. Do be... specific. I... really have dealt with far... far... far too many treasures to remember a... that thing... whatever it is."
"The Empress' pin."
Jareth pretended to think before answering. "Nope. Still too vague."
"Valued at nine million sterling. We already had a buyer in the west. And then one of our people was greedy. He took it. Brought it back to London."
"I don't know."
"If you do not tell us, we will get that helpless little girl who is always with you. She seems to do nothing but hinder you."
"Well that's true," Sarah said. Her voice echoed off the walls, not giving away her and Lestrade's position. They quickly made headway to distract and disarm their enemies. Police sirens were heard in the distance.
"You take pleasure... in coming... in at the last moment... don't you?" Jareth said, a slight tone of relief running through him.
Sarah ignored Jareth. "You are correct that I hinder him, but only because I have defeated him. I solved the Labyrinth. I defeated the Goblin King. He has no power over me. I am the Champion of the Labyrinth and you have harmed one of the Labyrinth's citizens. I cannot let that stand." Why can I only monologue people to death?
The ring leader held up a gun. "I don't know much about guns, but I am fairly certain that the bullet will ricochet off these walls. It could hit anyone, even you."
Lestrade kicked over a burning brazier, the flames in it going out. Most of the tunnel was dark. There was the sound of a gun going off. Sarah heard a body hit the ground. She made her way quickly and silently over to where Jareth's chair had been. Before she got over there, it tilted over.
"I am normally more graceful," Jareth muttered.
Police began making their way into the tunnel.
"Yeah, well I am normally less childish," Sarah said. She went to help Jareth out of his bonds when she realized they were iron shackles.
"Oh no. Jareth, are you okay? Are you breathing all right?"
"I will be fine once I am released. These bonds are... quite effective."
"Blessed by a priest and everything?" Sarah asked as lights were shining on her and Jareth.
"Certainly feels like it," Jareth said.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For protecting my siblings."
Jareth sighed and smiled a little. "It was nothing, precious."
Sarah said nothing about the nickname.
"You're still a princess fighting bad guys," Jareth said.
Why does that sound familiar?
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing to worry about precious."
&%&%&%
Mycroft Holmes was sitting in Jareth's chair when they came back. Mr. Holmes' umbrella was leaning against the seat. The entire apartment appeared to have been cleaned.
I really don't want to know how he gets in here.
"Hello, Mr. Umbrella," Sarah said.
"Good evening, Ms. Williams," Mycroft said, "I saw that the two of you ran into some trouble tonight. I came by to offer assistance."
"What? Did Mrs. Hudson call you?" Sarah asked.
"No, he has bugs all over the flat," Jareth said. He sat down heavily on the sofa. "There better not be any left in Sarah's room Mycroft."
"Oh, I made sure those were gone," Mycroft said, "A woman must have her privacy. I was informed you were knocked out by Chinese smugglers, Jareth."
The former Goblin King ignored the British government and spoke to Sarah. "And before you ask, I have tried getting rid of the bugs, but I can never seem to catch them all," Jareth said.
"Gotta catch them all," Sarah said. The two men blinked a few times, not understanding the reference. "Pokemon. Never mind. I suddenly feel much more self-conscious about walking around in my pajamas."
"You have no problems with the goblins or myself seeing you," Jareth said. He walked slowly over to his room.
"That's because you guys don't count," Sarah said.
Something close to a chuckle came out of Mycroft's mouth.
Jareth leaned against the door frame leading to his bedroom. "Anything I should worry about, Mycroft?"
"The world is on the brink of nuclear war, there are three new types of deadly virus invented this week, and Furbies are coming back. No, not at all," Mycroft said.
"Then I bid both of you a good night. I am going to sleep for a while before my head falls off," Jareth said. He closed the door to his room.
Mycroft stood up and tugged at his suit jacket. "That goblin is going to get us all into trouble one day," Mycroft said, "Good night, Ms. Williams."
"Um... before you leave, I have a question," Sarah said.
"Yes?" Mycroft said.
"I found a skull in my closet when I moved in. Jareth said it was his and Sherlock's old dealer, is that true?" Sarah asked.
"Possibly," Mycroft said.
"And Jareth also said you had other... trophies."
"Possibly."
Sarah threw her hands up in the air. "Mr. Umbrella is a great serial killer name, sir. Please don't make me your next victim."
Mycroft bowed his head, smiling a little. "Good night, Ms. Williams."
&%&%&%
As Sarah went into Jareth's room to check on him, she was surprised to find Rossetti petting Jareth's hair as he slept. The Goblin King stood up and motioned for Sarah to be silent. Quietly and quickly, Rossetti led Sarah into the living room.
"Why have you not healed him?" the Goblin King asked.
"I will pass out if I try," Sarah said, "What are you doing here?"
"I am making sure that my subject is well treated," Rossetti said, "As well as informing Jareth that... there have been developments that concern him."
"No but... you were... petting Jareth," Sarah felt amazingly uncomfortable, "It's just... what... what are you two? You don't seem to be lovers but you two know each pretty well and... you don't seem to really be friends and you two fight all the time..."
Rossetti smirked. "Sarah, dear, when did you and Jareth first meet?"
Sarah spoke slowly and carefully. "The first time I remember was when he took my brother. Why?"
Rossetti's smirk grew larger and showed pointed teeth. "I think it's time I remind you." The Goblin King then gently touched Sarah's forehead.
&%&%&%
"I hate you," Rossetti said. She sat in a theater balcony, waiting for a play to begin. She wore a silver dress that was very eighties. Actually, everyone in the theater looked like they belonged in the eighties. Jareth was next to her, in a simple but elegant black suit. He was resting his foot on the balcony ledge.
"Now Christiana, you said you would keep an old man entertained for an evening. It's not your fault you did not specify what we were going to do," Jareth said.
"I hate musicals Uncle Jareth and you know it," Christiana said.
Jareth placed a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Now you are just trying to make me feel ancient little girl."
The lights brightened a dimmed for a moment. An announcement was made. "The part of Milly will be played by Linda Williams this evening."
Jareth sighed. "I was hoping to see Ms. Keel, but oh well." Jareth made a crystal appear in his hand and he rolled it between his hands.
"Slow down princess. I don't want you to fall," a man said as he helped his daughter (who was maybe three years old) down the stairs.
"But I don't want to miss Mommy!" the little girl said. The little girl stopped by where Rossetti and Jareth were sitting. She curtsied. "Can we get through please?"
Jareth put away the crystal and smiled slightly. "Of course."
The man ruffled his daughter's hair and they moved to the seats next to the Goblin King and Rossetti. "I promise, my daughter will be well behaved. My name's Robert. Robert Williams."
"Jareth."
"Christiana."
"I'm Sarah!" The little girl was not sitting down yet, but twirling in her white dress.
"So you are a princess," Jareth said.
Sarah nodded her head.
"And what do princesses do?" Jareth asked.
"We fight bad guys!" Sarah said.
Jareth laughed. "So, no prince charming for you, then?"
"Kissing is yucky," Sarah said, making a face.
"Yes it is," Christiana said.
The lights went out and the show began.
The little girl was behaved and seemed to glow every time her mother, Linda Williams, came on stage. Jareth seemed in a genuinely good mood once Sarah had arrived.
At intermission, Sarah bounced up and down. "Isn't Mommy wonderful?"
"She is very good," Jareth said.
A man who an uncanny resemblance to Jareth walked up to where they were sitting. "Robert, Linda can't come up right now. She'll see you after the show."
Sarah's shoulders slumped. "Sorry, kid. She has a lot to do with taking over the part."
"Thanks Jeremy. Still on for poker on Thursday?" Robert asked.
Jeremy laughed. "Ready to get beat again?"
"Who lost twenty dollars last time?" Robert said, grinning.
During the second half of the show, Sarah fell asleep. Jareth had seemed troubled since he saw Sarah's sadness.
"What's wrong Jareth?"
"I do not like children upset."
"It happens. At least she seems to be loved."
"Yes, her father adores her."
"Jareth..."
Jareth smiled slightly. "Worried, Christiana?"
Rossetti rolled her eyes. "About humans? You know I have no desire to ever deal with them again."
They did not speak until after the musical was over. Sarah woke up for the finale and cheered loudly for her mother's bow. Jareth and Rossetti made themselves almost disappear in the crowd as they watched the little girl be reunited with her mother.
"Mommy!"
Linda Williams picked up her daughter. She had apparently been wearing a wig during the play and had the same dark hair as her daughter's. "Hello Sarah. Were you a good girl?"
Sarah frowned. "I feel asleep."
"That's okay sweetie," Linda said.
"She really was very good," Robert said. He kissed his wife and Sarah made a gagging sound.
Jareth made himself visible again, a bouquet of daisies in his hand. "For Mrs. Williams and her lovely daughter, who was quite polite."
Linda took the bouquet. "Thank you."
Jareth took a flower from the bouquet and handed it to Sarah. "For you, princess."
Sarah smelled the daisy. "It's pretty. Thank you."
Jareth nodded and left the theater. "You're an old softie, Jareth," Rossetti said as she followed him back to the Underground.
"That would be your father's fault."
&%&%&%
Sarah opened her eyes and blinked. "What the... how long... gah! Stinking pervert!"
"Oh hush, Sarah," Rossetti said, "Jareth is many things, but a molester he is not. Trust me, he does this all the time. He sees a child who appears to be kind and wants that child to be happy. You two probably would not have met until your wished away your brother if it weren't for the fact that Jareth has... enemies."
"What does that have to do with me?"
The Goblin King rolled a crystal between her hands. "The Goblin Kingdom is not a desirable place but the Labyrinth is among the more powerful places of the Underground. For some reason, those who want that power decided that you were a way to make Jareth squirm. He did not mark you out as his future queen or anything like that. He simply allowed his protection to reach your family and he checked up on you over the years. He viewed you as he would any of his subjects until you were about fourteen. Then he got all mopey. By all the powers, he was so mopey."
"Still a pervert."
Christiana almost rolled her eyes but resisted. "In Faerie, you are considered an adult when you can bear children. Do I think he got over eager? Yes. Jareth is not a patient man. Did he seek you out purposefully with ill intentions? No. Trust me on that. The poor bastard was downright ashamed of himself when he realized he fell in love with you. He considered himself your protector and anything... beyond a passing conversation was not proper. That and he invested himself once with a girl and he thought the feeling was returned but... never mind. I am not telling you that story. Jareth would not forgive me for that."
"Another girl?" Of course there was another girl. You need to deflate that ego. Jareth is ten thousand years old or something. There had to be someone before you.
"Like I said before, I am not telling you that story. All of this to say, Jareth is an overly romantic idiot. Under that cold exterior is a hopeless romantic. Don't break him."
Sarah was quiet as she thought over what was said. "Wait... Jareth met me more than twice? How often has been interfering with my life?"
The Goblin King grinned. "Oh, how I love causing mischief. Let's see that little goblin squirm out of this one. Well, I need to go check on my goblins. They probably have painted the ceiling with chicken feathers by now."
"Wait. Before you leave, you said Jareth was your uncle."
"Yes. He is my mother's brother."
Sarah thought for a moment. They did have some of the same mannerisms and pale skin, but she had assumed that it was a Goblin King thing. Now, she noticed the way Rossetti smirked and pulled at her gloves like Jareth did when he was busy making wonderfully awful ideas.
"He mentioned your father."
"Oh, yes. He can tell you that story another time. Very interesting but... he might not be happy with me about that. What I told you was mischief. That story is personal."
The Goblin King bowed and disappeared. I really hate when they do that.
Sarah sat in the living room, curled up in Jareth's seat. She needed to process what she had been told. She needed to decide if she was going to stay with a man who was in love with her but who she could not return that love.
&%&%&%
A/N: And 1986 did show up, just not in the way that was expected.
I said I wanted Mycroft to show up in this. So. Much. Fun. He's such a little snot.
You knew a Bowie song reference was coming. Just accept it. This need for David Bowie references is a part of the fandom and it shall never die.