Collateral Love

Chapter Ten | Truth.

I glided away from the rink as fast as I could, while simultaneously attempting to locate the restrooms. Meanwhile, I could sense Jane following me the entire way, but still managing to keep some distance between us. I figured she would start chasing after me considering I move much faster on skates but instead, she's continuing to walk, calmly taking her time as she knows she'll catch up to me eventually without making it blatantly obvious that she wants something from me. I then make the mistake of glancing over my shoulder at her, resulting in me accidentally crashing into a random stranger.

I nearly fall over due to the unsteadiness of these skates, but thankfully the person catches me, helping me to balance myself. Afterwards, I look up to see it's a guy, and he smiles anxiously at me. His hands are gently holding my torso, while mine are gripping the sides of his arms.

"Are you okay?" He asks, concern written all over his face.

"I… I," I foolishly stammer, unable to get the words out as I can clearly hear Jane's footsteps getting closer and closer with each second that goes by.

It suddenly feels like I'm in a horror film, desperately trying to get away from the killer only to end up stumbling, and dying in the end.

Typical.

I'm pretty sure we don't know each other, but maybe I'm wrong. Regardless, the mood is immediately tense the moment she walks up to me and the guy, and we both look over at her, although not with the same reaction.

The guy looks at her curiously, slowly beginning to remove his hands off of me.

"Uh, are you her friend?" He asks, and Jane narrows her eyes at me.

I swallow.

Jane smiles. "Yes. Sorry about that. She can be pretty clumsy."

"No problem. I'm just glad I was here to catch her," the guy smiles friendly at me, but I'm too distraught to return the politeness.

Instead, the only thing I can think about is why Jane is following me, and why didn't I just stay with Josh when I had the chance?

Jane moves to stand beside me, latching herself onto my arm as we stand across from the guy together.

"Thank you. I'm sure she appreciates it. Right, Maya?"

"Huh?" I mumble, still in a daze, and Jane looks at me like a mother looks at her child when they're publicly embarrassing her. I swallow again. "Uh, yeah. Thanks." I finally say, and the guy inevitably walks away as he waves goodbye, leaving Jane and I alone together.

She's still holding onto me long after the guy leaves before turning my body toward her, so we can look at one another. By now, Jane's attitude has completely changed from the scary girl I was hopelessly trying to get away from and instead, looks at me with sympathy in her eyes, but I'm not sure what for.

She takes a step back to give us both some personal space, and I quietly stand in front of her, anticipating whatever it is she wants to talk to me about.

Jane sighs. "I'm sorry," I'm not exactly sure what she's apologizing for, so I don't say anything at all, silently urging for her to further explain.

"I know you don't know me and you're probably wondering why I want to talk to you so badly, and I'll get to that, but first—how are you?" She asks sincerely, and the question completely takes me aback.

Why does she want to know?

"I'm… fine?" I say more as a question, confused by what's going on.

"Are you sure?" Jane presses, and I don't understand what she's trying to get me to admit. Jane then promptly averts her gaze, staring at the ground as she talks. "I'm only asking because of who you're here with. You aren't hurt or upset, are you?" Jane interrogates, and my eyes widen in disbelief.

If she's referring to Josh, then she must be mistaken. Why would I be hurt just by being with him? What is she trying to say exactly?

"I'm telling you, I'm fine, so what's the problem? What about Josh?" I ask, and Jane's facial expression is literally an open book.

She hasn't even said anything, and already I can tell that whatever she wants to tell me isn't good.

She awkwardly grinds her teeth, stalling. "I just wanted to make sure you were aware of everything before going any further with your relationship,"

"What are you talking about? Josh and I aren't—" I pause.

Josh may not have explicitly asked me to be his girlfriend, but I don't think that makes us any less of a couple since it's already known how we feel about each other along with the kiss we almost shared if not for the abrupt interruption.

I think it's safe to say we are in a relationship, despite not officially announcing it.

I look at Jane questionably. "What do you know?"

"Enough." Jane firmly states, and I arch an eyebrow. "And I'll be willing to tell you everything if you want to go sit and talk somewhere." She proposes, and I don't object considering I never actually had to use the bathroom, but merely wanting to retreat from an awkward situation. However, I didn't anticipate that Jane would insist on coming along with me.

We start walking—or in my case, skating—to a nearby bench, and the second I sit down, I take the roller skates off of my feet. I sigh a breath of relief, while Jane just looks at me.

Regardless of what she tells me, I'm not going to walk away from Josh without allowing him to explain himself, especially since I trust his word more than some girl I just met.

"Ok, go ahead. What did you want to tell me?"

"Well, I'll first start off by saying that I don't know Josh personally and I'm also not looking to ruin your relationship, but… I wanted to be sure you knew this just in case he hasn't already told you himself." Jane explains, and I'm speechless.

She's honestly scaring me by how vague she's being, and I take that as a bad thing. I'm also wondering what's going on between Josh and Jake, while the girls are away; what they could be talking about.

I've vaguely mentioned to Josh about Jake during our movie night date where I told him I would delete Jake's number with the intentions to never to speak to him again only to do the complete opposite. We're now all meeting together in person for the first time, and it's really awkward. I just hope Josh trusts me, and believed me when I assured him he had no reason to be jealous since I don't have intimate feelings for Jake.

Jane takes a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves before conveying what's supposed to be some shocking revelation. I try staring directly into her eyes as she talks but it's honestly difficult, so I settle for staring at the ground instead.

"I'm sure you know about his ex-girlfriend, the last girl before you. He mentioned that much to you at least, right?" She questions, but I don't respond.

Josh has never spoken to me about any of his past relationships, including the last one. I always figured it was a bad breakup that he never wanted to remember or even talk about for that matter, so I never pressed him about it, and why should I? That's all in the past now.

I shrug. "Sure," I say just for the sake of agreeing. "What about her?"

"Well, I wasn't friends with her, but my roommate at the time was so I was often around to hear what they talked about, and it wasn't always good things. That's how I know Josh. I recognize him because I would occasionally see them together around campus." Jane states, and I begin to clench my fists without realizing it.

It's as if she's trying to scare me into believing Josh isn't the person I think he is, and I don't like it one bit.

"Her name is—"

"I don't need to know her name." I groan, and Jane looks at me breathlessly.

She looks like the scared one now since I'm no longer trying to hide how angry I am. This whole situation is upsetting me, and there isn't anything she can say to have me leave Josh. Nothing at all.

"Just say what you got to say."

"I will, but not while you sound so hostile."

"Well, what did you expect? I really like Josh, and the last thing I need is someone giving me an excuse not to be with him."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just want you to be careful."

"Of what?" I ask, genuinely curious.

Josh is the nicest guy I've ever gotten the pleasure of talking to, and whatever happened with his last girlfriend must've been her fault as Josh has been nothing but sweet to me.

We're talking about the guy who gave me a free donut and innocently asked for my number, and the same guy who let a bunch of kids tackle him during a random game of tag. His heart is the absolute purest I've ever known a guy to have, and Jane should be ashamed of herself for trying to convince me otherwise.

I just don't see it.

She looks at me sorrowfully. "Well, it's obvious to me that he hasn't been completely truthful with you, although I guess that's no surprise…" Jane sneers, and one of my eyebrows immediately go up.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Josh isn't a bad guy, but he clearly did something to make his ex no longer want to be with him. They were together for a long time after they met, and everybody thought they were perfect for each other. However, towards the end of their relationship, things suddenly started falling apart, and nobody knows the real reason behind it. There were then rumors going around that the girlfriend cheated on Josh as a ploy to get him to breakup with him, since she was too afraid to breakup with him in fear he would get angry. I'm not sure how much any of this is true, but I figured I would give you a heads up just in case…" Jane says, looking at me sympathetically.

I gradually begin shaking my head as I stare at the ground, refusing to believe any of that story is even remotely true.

I mean, I always figured Josh had a bit of a temper after what happened between us at the music store, which is why I vowed never to anger him again. Not because I'm afraid of him but because I don't like seeing him upset, and I think that's the difference between me and his ex.

They were apparently having problems after awhile, whereas Josh just admitted to me that he's never laughed this much with anyone else in a long time. His last relationship clearly didn't end on good terms, but that's one thing he will not have to worry about with me.

I care about Josh too much to ever hurt him.

I look back up toward Jane, smiling softly, and I can tell she's confused by my strangely blissful mood.

"I appreciate the concern, Jane, but it's pointless. I've spent enough time with Josh to know what an amazing guy he is, and I am not going to think otherwise just because of a past relationship I know nothing about. Josh is a great guy, and I will always think so whether we're together or broken up. So thanks, but no thanks. I will happily stay with him like I've been doing, and if he ever chooses to confide in me about the past, then I'll be there to listen."

Jane merely stares at me as if she's just seen a ghost, evidently surprised by my calm reaction, but sighs and smiles nonetheless.

"Not really what I was expecting you to say, but I guess that's a good thing. I'm sorry for meddling,"

"It's okay. Your intentions were good, but I don't need guidance on how to handle my boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

Now that I've said it once, I just want to keep saying it.

Jane nods. "Of course, and I wish you two the best. It's clear to me that you two like each other a lot, and I can already tell you're nothing like the last girlfriend." She admits, and hearing her say that instantly brings a smile to my face.

My skin feels like it's burning as I'm certain the redness of my cheeks have spread all the way to my ears. Josh has nothing to worry about with me, and I'll be sure to remind him of it as often as necessary.

I want us to be able to talk about anything without being afraid of having an argument, and having it lead to a breakup. If we can't even do that, then we might as well forget about trying to be together because there's no way it would last.

Jane and I eventually get up from the bench to start walking back to the roller rink. We've been gone for at least ten minutes, but hopefully the unusually long 'bathroom break' didn't raise suspicion with the guys since I don't really want to have to explain to Josh what really happened. However, I will admit that I am a little curious now to know more about Josh and his ex because of everything Jane told me, but I don't want to force him to talk about it if it's just going to make him upset.

We get back to the floor where we last left the guys, but I notice Jake is the only one still waiting around. He's leaning against the outside wall of the rink while absently staring down at the ground, but soon lifts his head when he notices us approaching.

Jake smirks at Jane the instant he sees her, however his smile completely disappears once he looks at me. He stands up straight just as we reach him, and I'm sure he already knows what I'm going to ask before I even get a chance to say it.

"Ready to go?" Jane asks him, and Jake's eyes repeatedly bounce back and forth between me and Jane.

I quietly stand behind them, wondering where Josh could've gone off to.

Jake then nods his head while looking at Jane. "Sure. Just give me a minute. I'll meet you back at the car," he says, and Jane expectantly complies.

She waves goodbye to me before beginning to walk away, and once she's far enough, Jake slowly steps closer to me.

I immediately fold my arms, staring at him spitefully. "Where is he?"

"At the pier. He started acting kind of strange, and said he'd wait for you there. I offered to go with him, but he said he wanted to be alone."

"What did you say to him," I accuse, and Jake instantly puts his hands up, while shaking his head.

"Don't look at me. I didn't do anything. You just need to talk to him."

"I will, but if I find out you said something—"

"I didn't. Besides, there's nothing to tell, right?" He asks, probing me.

I look at him intently before inhaling a deep breath.

"Right." Nothing happened between me and Jake—nothing Josh needs to be concerned about, that is. "Which way is the pier?" I question, and Jake quickly points me in the right direction.

I take off running as fast as I can toward the pier, bumping into several people until finally I'm close enough to see Josh in the distance.

His backside is turned to me as he leans against a railing, gazing out at the surrounding waters. A slight breeze then picks up, impelling his hair to move with the wind, and it honestly feels like a scene straight out of a movie as I just stand there admiring him.

He's so freaking hot, I can't stand it, and I'm suddenly having difficulty moving my feet.

Josh is probably wondering where I am and what's taking me so long, and it just makes me more nervous to go over to him. Jake didn't really say much but it's obvious Josh has a lot on his mind, and I just hope it's not about what I'm thinking.

After several seconds of self-deliberation, I gradually start walking closer to him, keeping my footsteps as quiet as possible.

Once I'm standing directly behind him, Josh doesn't even have to turn around to know I'm there. Instead, he just talks, having complete faith in his instincts.

"Are you feeling better now?" His tone is profound, and all I can do is stare at the back of his head, while my jaw slightly hangs down. I then look down, while pursing my lips.

"Why do you ask…"

"Because I could tell you were uncomfortable earlier," Josh turns around to face me, and I slowly lift my head to stare into his eyes.

His expression appears calm but also doubtful, and per usual, I can't tell at all what he's thinking.

He sighs. "Come here…" There's sincerity in his eyes as he opens his arms up to me, encouraging me to shrink the gap between us, and I don't hesitate moving closer to him.

I can hear him exhale as he tightly embraces me, resting his head on top of mine, while I press mine against his chest, and wrapping my arms around his backside.

It's just like during our sleepover where I can plainly hear the sound of his heartbeat, which is surprisingly calm and steady. I don't know why but I figured he'd be upset with me, so it's a relief knowing that he isn't.

We quietly stand together, gazing out at the horizon as the last bit of sunlight gently kisses our skin and truth be told, but I've never gotten to experience what this feels like.

I've always had tough skin and acted more like a tomboy than a girly girl, which never got the attention of most boys in my grade. Then there was high school where you had to compete with the cheerleaders and privileged girls, who seemed to get whatever they wanted just by batting their eyelashes.

Josh is the first guy to genuinely show any interest in me, and although it's kind of sad to say I had to wait all the way until college to finally get a boyfriend, I wouldn't go back and change a thing. Let's just say, he was worth the wait, and I can only hope he feels the same way about me.

As we continue to stand together, quietly enjoying the other's company, my mind suddenly starts to wander.

I can't help but feel guilty about Jake even though we didn't do anything. Regardless, I told Josh I wouldn't talk to him anymore, assuring him he had nothing to be jealous about, so of course it kind of feels like I betrayed him by spending an entire evening with Jake without him knowing. He deserves to know the truth, and what better time to tell him than now when we're entangled in each other's arms.

I close my eyes and sigh, and it's obvious Josh can sense how tense I am since I can feel him squeezing me even tighter.

"You're scaring me. What's wrong?" He whispers quietly into my ear, and I feel even more horrible.

"Listen Josh, about Jake—"

"I don't want to talk about it." Josh asserts, interrupting me, and I look up at him.

I notice his jaw is taut while his eyes appear fiery with resentment. He then rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Sorry,"

"It's okay." I say, while frantically shaking my head.

"I just want to put Jake at the back of my mind, and the same goes for Jane. They're not here, and I want to keep it that way. You're my only concern as of right now, and whatever it is, we can talk about it later. Besides, whatever it is, it won't be enough to have me change how I feel about you, so let's just forget about it for now." Josh is gazing into my eyes as if they're the windows to my soul, presenting him with all the answers he's ever wanted to know about me.

I can't move as I simply look at him, although without staring directly into his eyes. I can then feel Josh's arms starting to shift, his hands moving to softly touch either side of my face.

He leans his face closer toward my mouth, and I'm once again holding my breath as I impatiently wait for the moment when his lips caress mine. I just hope he doesn't make me beg for it.

Josh lightly pecks my lips, and my heart instantly shatters the second his mouth releases mine. He's teasing me again, and I'm very close to taking matters into my hands if we don't speed this along.

My eyes are closed but I still know he's smirking, and after a minute, he pecks my lips again… and again and again until finally he's kissing me slowly and tenderly.

Damn.

I wouldn't be surprised if my feet weren't even touching the ground as it literally feels like I'm floating, desperately wishing for this moment to last just a little while longer.

If we weren't an official couple before, then I'm certain there's no doubt about it now as Josh continues to hold me like he's afraid of letting me go for even a second.

I always feel safe when I'm in his arms, and I hope the feeling never changes.

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