A/N: 'Sup people. I'm back from Alaska! Thank you to all my fans for being so patient. Love you guys!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I know I know: I'm just as shocked as you are.
…
Tenten narrowed her eyes and gazed into the mirror. She frowned and smoothed her skirt for the umpteenth time. She sighed, still unsatisfied with her appearance.
The sun peered through the gap between the curtains and lit the room. The rays creeped over the rumpled bed sheets and illuminated a longhaired male sitting near the headboard putting on his socks.
Today was Tuesday. Sakura had called The Times fashion department as promised and scheduled an interview for the afternoon. Coincidentally, Shikamaru was meeting Sasuke at the same time.
"You look fine. Why are you so worried?" The female turned to her roommate.
"I don't know," she responded glancing back at the reflective glass hung on the closet door. "Do I even look like a reporter? What am I supposed to say to her?"
"You typed up a list of questions yesterday, didn't you? Just ask those and you're done," Neji told his female friend.
"You make it seem so simple."
"It is simple. Don't think so much."
"No it isn't. I'm afraid I'll slip up and say something I'm not supposed to." The Hyuuga exhaled slowly and crossed the room towards her. He took the Murakami by the shoulders and pressed his forehead to her's. Looking her straight in the eye, he assured her:
"Tenten, you'll be okay. All you have to remember is your fake identity and the fact that Haruno doesn't know that you know she's dating Sasuke. Don't even bring him up if you feel you can't handle the subject. Call me if anything goes wrong. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
There was silence. The Murakami stared into her partner's orbs. Her breathing quickened by the close proximity. She felt so conscious of herself, so aware of every fiber of her being, yet dazed and distant. She swallowed. "Promise?" The brunette female asked holding out her pinky.
"Promise," the white-eyed man confirmed and wrapped his own finger around her's. They then pressed their thumbs together to "lock" their agreement.
"Now come eat something."
-With Shikamaru-
The pineapple haired man pressed the button for the nineteenth floor with his nose. He was in the elevator, his hands tangled in his tie. "I should really ask Tenten for lessons," he thought as the cart ascended. The doors slid open seconds later and the man made his way to his friends' apartment.
He stopped at flat 1922. After pondering for a moment, he came up with an idea on how to alert the two inside of his presence. Shikamaru proceeded to bash his head against the slab of white wood.
Five knocks later, it opened. The Nara, however, had already thrust his head forward with such force that he landed flat on his face.
Neji, holding his steaming cup of coffee, smirked down at the male.
"Oh God Shika," Tenten walked quickly over to help him. She smacked his head. "Why don't you ever watch when I fix your tie? Geez, you and him," she sent a pointed look at her roommate," are so helpless."
"Excuse me? I refuse to be classified in the same category as this lazy bum," the Hyuuga told her, lightly kicking the Nara's arm.
"When you learn how to tie a tie, you won't be. Now finish your breakfast. We can't be late for work."
-With Naruto, Hinata, Lee, and Sakura-
"So…I guess we'll be rooming with you guys for awhile," the Uzamaki said. The four were seated at the table in the kitchen making awkward conversation. Hinata was fuming and had to resist the urge to smack her butler.
"Yeah… well I should get ready for my interview," Sakura thought aloud and finished her glass of orange juice. "Lee, prepare the limo."
Her butler saluted her and the two exited the room.
-With Sasuke-
Sasuke glared at his reflection. His hands were covered in gel. He raked a comb through his hair once again and attempted to style it. "Stupid hair won't stay in the duck butt style."
-With Tsunade-
Tsunade was asleep.
Yup, that's it.
-With Tenten and Shikamaru-
Tenten and Shikamaru were sitting in Gaara's car while his secretary drove. The agents weren't interviewing the designers at the same location. The Nara fumed at the thought of being left alone to interrogate a stranger. His female companion fidgeted in her seat as anxiety took over her mind. Their Hyuuga friend had taken the bus to work.
"Do you have your stuff?" the Murakami whispered to her seatmate.
"Yeah. This is such a pain."
"Don't mess it up!" she whispered back sharply. The pineapple haired man didn't respond. Instead he rolled his eyes with his skull and pressed his forehead against the window.
-With Neji-
The Hyuuga closed his eyes and stopped his typing. He leaned back in his chair, his face parallel to the ceiling. He was bored and longed for the company of his roommate.
"Tenten," he murmured. "Tenten Murakami. Hm…Tenten Hyuuga. That has a nice ring to it. My name is Neji Hyuuga and this is my wife, Tenten." He could imagine smiling smugly at someone as they stared in awe.
He continued to repeat "Tenten Hyuuga" in his mind as his thoughts drifted towards that of their wedding day. The white-eyed man smirked to himself as he swiveled his chair in circles.
"Mr. Takahashi," the woman stopped mid-sentence at the sight before her. Neji abruptly stopped his daydreaming and trained his gaze on her. He sat up straight and tried to look as professional as possible.
"Uh…the boss has requested your presence at a meeting," the woman continued when she was sure she had his full attention.
"Very well then. What time will it begin?"
"About fifteen minutes." Neji nodded.
"You are dismissed," the Hyuuga told her and waved her off. The female continued to stand there and stare.
"Is there anything I can do for you madam?" the white-eyed man asked.
"Make my babies I-I mean. Uh-I never said that! I meant that I'd like to tell you my name?" her answer came out more as a question.
"Alright."
"Um…my name is Matsuri."
"I see. And what is it that you do here at the company, Matsuri?" Neji asked. Inside he was squealing with joy. He felt like Sherlock Holmes as he intimidated her with his questions.
"I'm Gaara's secretary."
"Really? How does he like his coffee?"
"Black sir."
"How old are you?"
"25."
"Hmm…Are you or are you not aware that you are older than your employer?"
"A-actually Gaara is 27."
"I knew that," Neji quickly cut in. "I was just testing you. Moving on, what is your gender?"
"Female."
"A HA! " the white-eyed man exclaimed standing up. "Wait what? Oh yes, yes so you are. I was just testing you. Now, you may leave." Matsuri scampered off.
Neji sniffed. "That was rather refreshing."
-With Tenten-
The brunette female wrung her hands under the table as she read the café menu. It was exactly 12:00 P.M. "Sakura should be arriving any minute now," she thought as her eyes scanned the sandwich entrees. Sure enough, she caught sight of a flash of pink making her way through the crowd. Tenten felt queasy. "Oh God Neji, where are you?" she whispered as the green-eyed woman came closer.
Tenten stood up and extended her hand once the Haruno was within touching distance.
"Hello. I'm Hana Kimura. I met you the other night."
"Sakura, but I guess you already knew that," the designer returned the greeting.
"I fear the waiters are terribly impatient today with all the customers and what not. Why don't we order first?" the Murakami ventured as they sat down, praying that the green-eyed woman would agree with her suggestion and give her more time to calm her bundled nerves.
"Eh, sure why not?" The strawberry blonde picked up a menu.
-With Shikamaru-
"I know how you feel man. I struggle to keep this pineapple on my head in top shape." The two men were currently discussing their hairstyles.
"So moving on, how do you like it here in London?" Sasuke asked.
"Aren't I the one who's supposed to question?" Shikamaru pointed out.
"True, but as you will come to know sooner or later, I never play by the rules," the Uchiha whispered the last part and smirked.
"You seem awfully proud about it too," the Nara answered, amused.
"A man has to be proud about something."
"What about women?" At this, Sasuke laughed. He tossed his head back to gaze at the sky and waved his free hand (the one not cupping his drink) as he spoke.
"They already rule the world, in my opinion anyway. That's what they're proud of." An image of Tenten as well as his mother flashed in Shikamaru's mind.
"Very true. Now, how would you describe your latest collection?"
"A collection isn't meant to be described as much as it's meant to be seen."
"Is that your answer?" the Nara asked, eyeing the recorder on the table. Its light flashed red every couple seconds to assure the owner it was functioning.
"If you want it to be," the Uchiha shrugged. At that moment, the agent decided he'd let his female friend handle any future interviews with the designer. He wasn't particularly fond of people who gave him cryptic responses.
-With Neji-
"Therefore our company profit has come down by 0.00000001 percent. Any questions?"
Neji wanted to die. Why on earth would he care about the profit? And how in the name of God and all things holy did the speaker come up with 0.00000001 percent anyway? Was that even possible?
Matsuri glanced at the Hyuuga. Desperate to impress him, she scoured the corners of her mind for a way to get him out of the meeting. It would be painful to give up an opportunity to stare at him for two hours straight, but if he thought her less weird, it was worth it.
"Excuse me Sir, but I'm sure we're all hungry. How about someone go fetch snacks? It'll help us maintain our focus," the secretary suggested.
Neji wanted to kiss…his roommate. Why not Matsuri you ask? Well, he still thought she was an oddball. "I volunteer to get the food," he said, raising his hand.
"Hmm…very well then. Everyone write what you want from the vending machine on a slip of paper and give it to Mr. Takahashi," Gaara instructed. The white-eyed man paled. He'd have to face the "monster." He gulped and took the orders.
-With Tenten-
"I have to tell you: you have the most gorgeous hubbie I have ever seen!" Sakura squealed, leaning towards the center of the table.
"Um…thank you," Tenten smiled awkwardly. She cleared her throat after taking a gulp of water. "So, tell me about your new collection."
The Haruno pressed her palms together, a delighted expression gracing her features. "Well," she began," for autumn I have combined all these shades of orange, green, red, and brown and made a sort of tie-dye effect. We have tie-die T-shirts in the summer, so why not the fall? I thought of it and was like hmm…instead of bringing summer colors into autumn, why not bring the styles instead? It's a twist on a classic."
The Murakami smiled even though an image of a disgusting, puke colored dress embedded itself in her thoughts. "That's…interesting," she told the designer, not having the heart to dampen her mood. Besides, the happier she was, the more information the agent could squeeze out of her.
"How long have you been designing?"
"Eh, about five years or so."
"Cool."
"So where are you from?" Sakura asked. "I was told you just recently started working here when I called. "
"I'm from Chicago, but I studied journalism at Harvard. That's where I met my fiancé and Mr. Yoshida."
"Speaking of those two, what are they up to at the moment? I'm sure Mr. Takahashi misses you," the green-eyes woman teased and winked at the agent. Tenten chuckled, not from embarrassment, but the fact the woman had bought into her lie so quickly.
"My fiancé is at work and Mr. Yoshida is currently interviewing Sasuke Uchiha," the 24 year-old smiled when she saw the designer's shock. For a moment she felt smug, deceitful, and proud of it. This was her chance to pry open the secrets of their relationship.
"You seem surprised," Tenten commented.
"I-I um… I just –it's nothing," Sakura stuttered.
"It doesn't seem like nothing." The Haruno took a few deep breaths.
"It's complicated," she whispered finally after a moment of silence.
"I can tell. Do you want to talk about it?" The green-eyed woman shook her head.
"Well then, why don't I change the subject? Where are you from? Tell me something about yourself," the brunette female prodded.
"I'm from Australia. I'm an only child. My parents are doctors. Becoming a designer was the last thing they wanted me to be. In short, I'm their biggest and only disappointment."
Tenten wasn't thrilled at how negative the conversation had turned. "Oh um…so what's your life like here in London? Do you like being on your own?"
"I'm not on my own."
"A-alright. Uh…well okay." The conversation stopped there.
"At least I got through my list of questions," the Murakami thought. They finished their lunch and set about gathering their things.
"Hey Hana, um…despite the awkwardness at the end, I enjoyed talking to you. I hope we can be friends. Maybe we can meet up sometime. I may not be on my own, but I really don't have much to fall back on."
The agent was unprepared for such a proposal. "Sure, I'd like to be friends too. " The Haruno nodded before saying a quick goodbye and walking off. Tenten felt sorry for the woman. How would she feel when her boyfriend ended up in jail? From that glimpse of grief she saw flash in her eyes, she didn't want to even know.
-With Shikamaru-
"Well, I enjoyed the afternoon. I must be going now," Sasuke said to the man across from him. He extended his hand. Shikamaru shook it.
"Indeed. I'll see you around." Both parted and wandered the streets of London deep in thought.
-With Neji-
"If I wanted to die in the meeting, I definitely want to die now," the Hyuuga thought. Somehow he's managed to get his head stuck in the vending machine.
"You diabolical piece of crap. You are unworthy to take up space in this office building, or anywhere else in the world for that matter. Unless of course, you were rotting in a junkyard. Perhaps I would visit you and take pictures as you lay rusting and forgotten in the deepest pit of hell."
A noise, sounding suspiciously like the opening of the conference room door, made him pause mid-rant. Sure enough, the meeting had ended and all the employees were filing out. Gaara had voiced his fear that Mr. Takahashi would not be coming back and had dismissed them all. Unfortunately for Neji, to get to their offices, they'd have to pass the vending machine.
They all stared at him when they got closer.
"Hey, uh…does anyone still want their food?" the Hyuuga asked, his voice muffled be the glass and metal that was the "monster". No one moved.
Matsuri pressed through the crowd and laughed nervously. "Well, why don't you all just run along and I'll take care of him." When the two were alone, she sighed.
"Mr. Takahashi, my feelings for you are too hard to explain to your face. So while your head is stuck in the vending machine, I shall preach to you my undying love."
"Um…Maria. I have to tell you something."
"Uh it's-"
"No, no please let me continue. I know how much this will hurt you, but I have to tell you something."
"Yes, I understand that, but-"
"Maria, Maria, Maria. Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria. I fear this news may shatter your heart to a million pieces. And you will be left all by yourself to pick up the mess because well…I simply can't be bothered."
"Um-"
"Maria-"
"My-"
"Maria I am-"
" I understand, but Mr. Takaha-"
"You understand?"
"Understand what?"
"You said you understand."
"Yes I know, but."
"Anyway-"
"It-"
"Mari-"
"It's not-"
"Maria I am engaged." There was silence.
"Maria?" Matsuri felt anger bubble in her throat.
"My name is Matsuri. NOT MARIA!" She hit Neji, got up, and walked away.
"What?"
Poor Neji. Gaara called the ambulance for him.
-With Tenten-
Tenten dialed Shikamaru's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Shika, how did the interview go?"
"Eh, great. You get to question Uchiha next time. He's too difficult to understand."
"Whatever, can you come over? I feel like a depressed housewife sitting here alone." (A/N: Going through the photographs, staring at the phone. I was not singing Taylor Swift. Psh. I don't know what you're talking about.)
"Where's Neji?"
"Work."
"Geez, now you really sound like one Hey, are you pregnant too?"
"Shikamaru!"
"Alright, alright I'm coming. "
"Bye."
"Bye," Tenten hung up. She leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes.
RING RING! RING RING!
The Murakami groaned and grabbed her cell phone off the coffee table.
"Hello?"
"Tenten? It's Gaara. Neji's in the hospital.
"WHAT?"
"He somehow got his head stuck in the vending machine."
"WHAT?"
"He's apparently traumatized by it."
"WHAT?"
"I will see you soon. Goodbye."
Shikamaru showed up at impeccable timing. He knocked calmly and waited.
"Shikamaru guess what!" Tenten exclaimed as she threw open the door.
"What?"
"Neji's in the hospital!"
"What?"
"His head was stuck in a vending machine!"
"What?"
"Now he's traumatized!"
"What?"
"We have to go now!" the brunette female literally dragged the pineapple haired male to the elevator and didn't let go of his sleeve until they were settled inside a taxi. She moved so fast, the poor Nara didn't have time to put his thoughts together.
The Murakami was on the verge of hyperventilating. She hugged herself and rocked back and forth.
"Okay, okay, this is not something to be worked up about."
"I AM PERFECTLY CALM!" she shouted, clutching his collar and bringing him so close, their noses were practically touching.
"Tenten, he'll be okay."
"What if they have to cut off his head to save him?"
"That wouldn't really be saving him," Shikamaru reminded her.
"Oh yeah." The rest of the ride continued in silence.
-At the Hospital-
"Scalpel."
"Scalpel."
"Scissors."
"Scissors."
"Apple juice."
"A-apple juice?
"Good God man! Don't repeat everything I say!" the doctor shouted at the nurse.
"S-sorry Mam."
"Now, give me the apple juice." The nurse did as she said.
"Oh my goodness! The patient's destabilizing!" another nurse shrieked.
"What patient? Where?" the doctor asked frantically.
"Um…the one we're operating on."
"Oh…right. I knew that. Prepare for heart transplant." Suddenly the doors to the operating room burst open.
"Doctor wait! You have the wrong patient!" Everyone gasped. Neji at that moment, decided to wake up. His head had already been pried out of the "monster".
"Hey, what's going on?" he asked. The Hyuuga looked down at his body: it was cut open. He screamed and fainted.
-6:00 P.M. –
Neji opened his eyes and was immediately pounced on by his roommate. They were back at their apartment.
"Neji!" Tenten hugged him.
"Hey bud," he greeted, wrapping his arms around her. The duo was quiet for a few minutes.
"You scared the heck out of me, you know that?"
"Yes."
"Meanie," the Murakami pouted and pounded on his chest.
"Okay okay. I'm sorry."
"That's what I thought. Now c'mon dinner's ready."
Unwritten Rule #10: Don't expect to always have a favorable outcome.