Chapter 10

The next afternoon Megan brought Alfie back from school, he had barely changed out of his school uniform when the doorbell rang. Megan hadn't told Alfie that Mark was coming to visit, she didn't want him to get excited in case something came up at the hospital and he couldn't make it. She didn't really think that Mark would stand up his own the first day, but she knew that sometimes you can't control things at the hospital.

When she answered the door, she found Mark standing on the doorstep looking so nervous and carrying a bag.

"Mark hi," she said.

"Hi," he said.

"You're early."

"Oh sorry you told me half past three, right?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm sorry, I just thought you wouldn't be here until later."

"I want to spend as much time with him as I can," said Mark. "Surgeries can wait."

"Come on in," said Megan feeling genuinely bad for him, he seemed so nervous and Mark Sloan did not get nervous. She showed Mark into the living room. "Have a seat."

"Thanks."

"I uh...haven't told Alfie that you are coming," said Megan. "We just got back."

"Okay," said Mark slowly as if he was expecting Megan to send him away.

"Just give me a few minutes to talk to him," said Megan.

"Okay," said Mark knowing that he had to trust Megan when it came to Alfie because she was the one that had been raising him, he was a stranger to the boy.

"He drew you a picture," said Megan lifting a piece of paper from the coffee table. "He told me to send it with my letter. It's meant to be of him and me and...I think his bike. He gets his artistic side from me."

"Thank you," said Mark touched by the drawing. It was so child like and sweet, just like a five year old would draw for his father. It was weird he knew he was a Dad but it hadn't quite sunk in with him yet.

"We'll be down in a minute," said Megan.

"I got him a present, I hope that's okay," said Mark. "Derek says he likes to read."

"Yeah he's just started the Famous Five series," said Megan.

"I know," said Mark. "I wasn't sure what ones he had so I got him the whole series."

"He only has the first one," said Megan. It was quite sweet that Mark had gone to that much trouble to find out what Alfie likes and what books he was reading. "He'll be thrilled, he's almost finished it."

"I'm not going to spoil him," Mark said trying to reassure her that he wasn't going to try and buy Alfie's love. "I just thought that because it was the first time..."

"I understand," said Megan smiling fondly at him. "It's fine. He will love the gift and we can talk about all this other stuff when he goes to bed."

"Okay," said Mark feeling better. He was dreading that Megan might start on him about giving Alfie a gift, he knew he didn't know much about parenting but he wanted to give Alfie something. "Now go and get my son."

"Okay, I'll be right back," said Megan.

She all but ran up the stairs as she could hear Alfie rustling about. She went into his room and found him bundling up his school clothes and trying to stuff them under his bed.

"Alfie," said Megan sternly. "You know that to do with your uniform, take it downstairs and put it in the laundry."

"Okay," he said dramatically, he got to his feet and bundled his clothes in his arms.

"Not yet," said Megan. "Sit down Alfie I need to talk to you."

"You said I had to put my clothes in the laundry."

"You do," said Megan. "But first I need to talk to you about your Daddy."

"Did you send him my picture?" he asked as he threw his clothes in a heap on the floor. Megan just sighed, getting Alfie to do his laundry would always be a constant battle today would be no different.

"I did and he loved it," said Megan. "In fact he loved it so much that he came to visit."

"He was here?" said Alfie disheartened. "I missed him."

"No you didn't miss him," said Megan putting her arm around his little shoulder. "He is downstairs in the living room right now."

"Now?" asked Alfie his eyes lighting up. "My Daddy is in my house."

"Yes," said Megan. "Is that okay?"

"Uh huh," said Alfie. "Was he nice to you?"

"Yes he was very nice," Megan reassured him. "And he can't wait to see you."

"Will you come with me Mummy?" asked Alfie looking up at her uncertainly.

"Of course I will," said Megan pulling Alfie onto her knee. "I will be here the whole time, I promise."

"Okay," he said. "Can we go now?"

"Yes," she said kissing the top of his head.

She got up and put him on the ground and took his hand. Alfie sort of froze when they got the living room door, so Megan stepped inside the room ahead of him.

"Come on it's okay," she said softly to Alfie. Mark was practically sitting on the edge of his seat watching the door.

Alfie quickly peeked his little head in the room and quickly pulled it back into the hallway and let out a little giggle.

"Come on little guy," said Megan lifting him up. She placed him on her hip and sat down next to Mark on the sofa, she place Alfie on her knee. He was clinging onto her arm. "Alfie this is your Dad. Say hello."

"Hi," he said shyly as he hid his face in Megan's shoulder.

"Hi Alfie," said Mark.

"Come on Alfie stop being silly," said Megan. "Look I think your Dad has a present for you."

Alfie lifted his head uncertainly and looked up at Mark. "I have a present?"

"Yes I brought you a present," said Mark lifting up the bag and handing it to Alfie.

"Wow," he gasped when he saw all the books lined up in the box set. "Look Mummy."

"Wow," she said. "Look at all those books they will keep you going until next year."

"Thank you Daddy," said Alfie his eyes still wide in amazement. Something about the way he said Daddy tugged at Mark's heart, he was so sweet and innocent he didn't even realize the effect one word could have on him.

"You're welcome," said Mark.

"Hey Alfie why don't you show your Dad your books," said Megan hoping that Alfie would be okay on his own with Mark now that he had broken the ice. "You can pick a place to put all your new ones."

"Okay," said Alfie hopping off Megan's knee. "It's up in my room."

"Okay," said Mark "Lead the way."

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Later that night Megan was tidying up in the kitchen, Mark was reading Alfie a chapter of his book. They had gotten on surprisingly well, after Alfie's initial shyness everything had gone very well. They had played soccer in the backyard, Mark had even helped Alfie with his math homework and now he was reading to him before bed. It was amazing how quickly they had bonded and how well they had gotten on together in the space of a few hours.

"He's asleep," said Mark leaning against the kitchen door frame.

"Good, thanks for that," said Megan.

"Thank you for letting me see him," said Mark sincerely. "We both know that even if I did take it to court I wouldn't have won...not after what I did to you. The most I would have gotten was supervised visits, one hour a month. Even my lawyer told me that."

"Well for what it's worth, I think it's better this way," said Megan. "Do you want some food?"

"No I don't want to intrude."

"It's fine," said Megan pulling a tray of lasagna out of the fridge. "I'm just going to freeze the rest anyway."

"Yeah okay then," said Mark "I'm starving."

"I figured," said Megan putting the tray in the oven. She went into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer and handed it to Mark. "Come on we can talk in the living room."

"Thanks," he said opening the beer and taking a long drink. For some reason he was nervous, he was finding it harder and harder to read Megan's moods, he used to be able to make a pretty accurate guess of how she was going to react to things but she had shut down now.

"Alfie had a great time today," said Megan as she settled on the armchair by the window.

"So did I," said Mark. "You've done an amazing job with him."

"Thank you," said Megan. "I guess you're probably wondering about the sudden change in my opinion."

"Kinda."

"I'm not going to have Alfie blame me for not having you in his life. My Dad walked out on me and my mother made it impossible for him to stay in contact with me and Meredith. Once I realized how serious you were about seeing him, I told Alfie. I know he is only five years old but I felt he should be the one to decide. I still don't trust you," said Megan. "I don't trust you one little bit, but in some ways I do still trust you."

"What do you mean?"

"I still trust that you are a decent person and a good doctor," said Megan. "I trust that you wouldn't harm Alfie."

"Uh...thanks," said Mark. He hated that she only trusted him not to harm their son, that hurt.

"But Alfie wants you in his life," Megan continued. "He is the only thing that matters in any of this. So I am happy for the two of you to spend time together, but there are some rules."

"Okay lets hear it," said Mark. They might as well get it over and done with.

"Alright first of all, I'd like to be around when you see him at least at first. We can gradually ease him into it, the two of you can spend time here and I'll go up to my office. You can take him to the park around the corner, but I'd like to keep him in his comfort zone while he gets used to you."

"That sounds fair enough," said Mark.

"Good we can talk about you taking him out alone in a few weeks," said Megan.

"What are the rest?"

"I get that you have to work weird hours as apposed to my working day, so I'm happy for you to see him when you can we don't have to have set days and times because I know that it is unreasonable to expect your schedule to be the same every week," said Megan as if she had been rehearsing it. "But I am asking that you give me as much notice as possible, a day or two."

"Okay."

"I won't lie for you," said Megan. "If you start to blow him off I won't lie to him for you. If you have genuine reason like another ferry disaster then that is fine, but taking your latest conquest to a club opening is not."

"I won't," said Mark although he couldn't really blame Megan for doubting him. He knew he had to prove to her that he could be a good Dad, in fact he had a lot to prove to her.

"Also I haven't raised a brat," said Megan. "When you start to take him by yourself, he tidies up after himself and he knows the difference between right and wrong. If he misbehaves then I explain to him why what he did was wrong, and then depending on what it was give out a suitable punishment."

"Okay," said Mark even though he knew that he would have no idea how to discipline Alfie, he just hoped he would never have to.

"The next one is a little awkward," said Megan. "The women in your life, I know from past experience that there are always plenty. I just ask that you follow the standard I set myself. I have never introduced a guy I'm seeing to my son. He doesn't need the disruption in his life, so please don't introduce him to women unless you are marrying them or they have moved in, and with your past...I don't see that happening yet."

"Okay," said Mark. It all seemed pretty reasonable.

"But I do understand that Lexie is different," said Megan. "I know you are dating her, but she is Meredith's sister so I don't really know..."

"When Alfie is around there will be nothing to suggest anything is going on," said Mark firmly.

"Well that is your decision," said Megan. "Lexie is the exception to rule."

"There is no point in confusing him," said Mark.

"Okay then," said Megan. "I think that pretty much covers everything major. Unless there was something you wanted to talk to me about."

"Yeah a few things actually," said Mark clearing his throat. "I was wondering about his birth certificate and if...am I on it?"

"Yeah," said Megan. "You are named as his father, I wanted him to be able to track you down when he was older but...I didn't give him your name. His name is Alfie Ewan Grey."

"And uh...child support?" he said awkwardly. He was never comfortable talking about money, it always made it feel sort of guilty for some reason.

"Not necessary," said Megan sharply.

"I think it is," said Mark. "I want to pay my share."

"We don't need it," said Megan. "I make more than enough, probably even more than you do now."

"That isn't the point," said Mark seriously. "Please I want to provide for him."

"Fine," said Megan. There was no point in arguing with him, Mark could be incredibly stubborn when he wanted to be. "That can be set up by the lawyers."

"Yeah the lawyers," said Mark. "About them..."

"Look I am happy for them to draw up a formal contract that sets out a minimum amount of hours you can see him a week," said Megan. "But I'm not sure about you know the whole joint custody thing. You have only spent one night with him and I'm sorry I won't do it. We never made anything legal when he was born, mainly because I had no idea where you were..."

"I think it was the other way around," Mark pointed out.

"Whatever," said Megan dismissively. "My point is I didn't make you sign away your parental rights, so please don't push me on joint custody okay?"

"Okay," said Mark. "I was just going to say that we are going to have to tell that we don't need to go to court. I didn't actually think about joint custody."

"Oh...sorry."

"It's okay," said Mark. "But now that you mention it...maybe we could talk about it in a few months."

"Yeah maybe," said Megan.

"I do appreciate this," said Mark. "You had every reason to keep him as far away from me as possible. I know what I did all those years ago and I will always hate myself for it. I'm just so grateful that you're giving me another chance."

"It's for Alfie," said Megan. "But I swear if you let him down or hurt him in anyway, you will never see him again and I will kill you."

"I know," said Mark. He knew he would only get one chance, and it was more than he deserved. "I know that you are taking such a big risk, and that I only get one shot with this. I will make it work. I also know that you have no reason to trust me but I earned your trust once and I'll do it again."

"Well I won't hold my breath," said Megan.

"We can be on good terms, can't we?" Mark asked. "Not just in front of Alfie?"

"I don't know, can we?" said Megan.

"I'd like to think we can, we were friends for a long time."

"I think we made too many mistakes," said Megan. "Not just you. I made a lot of mistakes too."

"Can't we just put it behind us?"

"I can't," said Megan. "I can't forget."

"I'll make this work."

"I hope you do," said Megan. "Surely you can't be over what I did to you."

"No, you gave me ten minutes to make up my mind about the rest of our lives and I lost five years of my son's life. I am not over that yet," said Mark. "But I don't think you did it to be cruel. I think you were genuinely panicking, you never were very good at waiting you always needed an answer right away."

"What would have been the point in sticking around?" asked Megan.

"There would have been a lot of point in sticking around," said Mark his stare piercing into her soul.

"Maybe."

"But I have put it behind me though," said Mark. "And I'm not angry about it."

"Well I thought it was behind me as well but clearly it's not," said Megan. "I never thought I would have to see you again."

"Well you will have to get used to seeing me, I'm not going anywhere," said Mark.

"Good I hope not," said Megan. "You are the first man I have let in Alfie's life in such a big way."

"I'm his father," said Mark. "I'm supposed to be the first and only."

"I'm not going to argue with you," said Megan sharply. She felt like he was trying to get a reaction from her, their whole relationship was built from passion using starting with an argument.

"Fine," said Mark. "Unless there is anything else, I'll just be going."

"I think that's everything," said Megan. "I'll call my lawyer about the access formalities."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"