Authors Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's. The story and ideas in it are mine. I think I've finally brought this story to where I want it in the series, this chapter takes place during the episode 'Jessie's Song'. I have also revealed that Max has another secret. Max was abused as a child and that has also fueled his cutting problem. Chapter title comes from the Harry Chapin song of the same name.
'And so you and I, we watched our years go by. We watched our sweet dreams fly far away, far away. But maybe someday, I don't know when. But we will dream again. And we'll be happy then, till our time just drifts away.'-Harry Chapin-Dreams Go By
Chapter 10: Dreams Go By
I walk out of the room where I left Emma with a sigh. I head to my room passing the room where Melissa took Erica. I hear crying coming from behind the door.
'I hope she's ok.' I think.
I get to my room and open the door. I walk in and walk over to my bed. Sitting down on the bed with a sigh, I put my head in my hands. How am I going to deal with a teenager? I'm barely out of that stage in my life myself.
It was only 6 years ago that I was a carefree 18 year old trying to plan out my life. I was going to go to Cal U to study restaurant management, but my plans fell through that May when I was bringing my sister home from the prom. That night put a stop to every dream I ever had up to that point. My sister was killed and I was in a coma for the next six months. I don't even know how I survived that accident.
From the pictures the cops showed me, I shouldn't have lived. I should have been dead too. I'm still trying to figure out how I lived when my sister died. Was it fate? Was it destiny? Was it the fact that I may have had an angel watching over me? Or was it something else? Whatever it was, I'm still trying to figure it out.
I run my hands through my hair and sigh. I feel the urge to cut myself creeping up in the back of my mind. It's taunting me while I try to resist. I don't want to break my deal with Emma. She's the only reason I'm not giving into that urge.
Well, maybe not the only reason. My other reason is Melissa. I don't want to hurt her by giving into temptation. I already hurt her once by doing that. I get up off the bed and walk into the bathroom.
I turn on the light and shut the door. I walk over to the sink and run the cold water. I take off my glasses and set them on the sink. I stick my hands under the cold water and splash some on my face to try and get the thought of cutting myself out of my mind. I turn off the water and dry my face.
I undress and put on my pajamas and glasses. I open the door and walk out of the bathroom shutting off the light. I walk into the bedroom and over to my bed. I pull back the covers and get into bed. I take off my glasses and set them on the table by the bed.
I cover myself and close my eyes. I lay there thinking about how I'm going to raise two children when I'm not even remotely ready to be a father. I don't even know what I'd do if Melissa told me she was pregnant. I think I might freak out. I'm attempting to sleep when I hear someone walk into the room.
They walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I hear the water running in the sink. Soon it stops and the bathroom door opens. The person who was in there walks out and walks over to the bed. They pull back the covers and get in bed next to me.
They pull the covers over themselves and I hear the light go out.
"Max, are you awake?" They ask.
I open my eyes and roll over to face them.
"Yes." I say.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"Melissa?" I ask puzzled.
"Yes." She says.
"I thought maybe you were Emma." I say.
"Why?" Melissa asks.
"I thought maybe she was afraid to sleep."
"Oh." Melissa says.
"So, what did you need to tell me?" I ask.
"Max, I'm pregnant."
"What? When did you find out?"
"A couple days ago. I'm three months along."
A baby? I can't believe this. I don't really know if I'm ready for that. I don't even know if I want kids. At least not after everything I've been through in my short life. I remain quiet because I can't think of anything to say.
"Max, say something, anything." Melissa says.
"I'm going to be a dad." I say shocked.
"Yes. You'll make a great dad."
"I'm sure I will, but right now this is a shock." I say.
"I'll let you get some rest. We can talk about this tomorrow."
"Yeah, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
I lay there for a few minutes and make sure Melissa's asleep. When I'm sure that she is, I get out of bed. I walk out of the room and head downstairs. I walk into the living room and start pacing. I can't tell Melissa I don't want kids.
Why don't I want kids you ask? The answer is simple. I don't want kids because I'm afraid I'm going to end up like my dad. What was my dad like? My dad used to abuse me and that's why I don't want kids.
I'm afraid I'm going to be like him and abuse my own kids. That's part of the reason why I cut myself. I figured since I was already covering the bruises my dad left, it would be easy to cut myself and hide it. I continue my pacing. Do I tell Melissa the truth, or do I hide it?
I know she'll find out sooner or later, although I'd really not like her to find out at all. I stop pacing and walk over to the couch. I sit down on the couch with a sigh. I run my hands through my hair trying to stop my mind from racing so I can sleep. I give up and lay down on the couch.
I close my eyes and finally fall asleep. I wake up the next morning to someone shaking me. I open my eyes and see a blurry figure standing before me.
"Who's there?" I ask.
"Max, it's Melissa." They say.
"What do you want?" I ask puzzled.
"It's almost time to go to work." Melissa says.
I sit up with a groan.
"That's what you get for sleeping on the couch."
"It's not just that, I had a bad night." I say.
"Thinking about the baby?" Melissa asks.
"Yes." I say and rub my face.
"Good or bad?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I say and stand up.
I start to walk out of the room when Melissa grabs my arm. I tense and wait for her to start hitting me. I mentally shake myself out of the thoughts of my past and freak out.
I pull my arm out of her hand shouting, "Let me go!"
"Max, what's wrong?" Melissa asks.
"Don't touch me." I say.
"Why?" Melissa asks puzzled.
"Just leave me alone." I say and walk off.
I walk upstairs and head into the bedroom. I walk over to the table by the bed and pick up my glasses. I put them on with a sigh and head into the bathroom. I shut the door and get myself ready for work. I just finish getting ready when there's a knock on the door.
"Max, are you alright?" Melissa asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I say and open the door.
"I got worried when you walked off like that." Melissa says.
"I'm fine, I'm just tired." I say.
"So, what was that little outburst about?" Melissa asks.
"I don't want to talk about it." I say and walk past her.
I head into the bedroom when Melissa grabs my arm again. This really makes me go off the deep end. I just lose it and yell at poor Melissa.
I pull my arm out of her hand shouting, "I thought I told you not to touch me!"
"Max, what the hell is going on?" Melissa asks.
I turn to face her with a long sigh. I see the worry that's written on her face.
"I didn't want to tell you this, but my dad used to beat me when I was a kid." I say.
"What?" Melissa asks shocked.
"My dad used to abuse me." I quietly say.
"What about your sisters and brother?"
"He never laid a hand on them." I say with disgust.
"Why did he do it?" Melissa asks.
"Because I'm the screw up. In his eyes I couldn't do anything right."
"That's no reason to hit a child." Melissa says.
"I know." I say.
Melissa says nothing and just looks at me. What is she thinking? Is she thinking I'm going to be the same way when our child comes along? Is she feeling pity for me? Or is there something else?
I just give up trying to figure out what she may be thinking.
"We should get to work." I say.
"Yeah." Melissa says.
I turn and walk out of the room. I head downstairs and head out the door. I get in my car and start it. Melissa gets in and we drive off. We get to work and I park the car.
We get out and head into work. We get things set up and get to work. Things go smoothly until school gets out. Once school gets out things get crazy. Jessie comes in alone and sits at the booth the gang usually sits at.
I walk over to her.
"Can I get you anything, Jessie?" I ask.
"Yes. I'd like a burger, fries, and a chocolate shake." Jessie says.
"Ok, I'll be right back with that." I say.
"Thanks."
I nod my head and walk off. I get to the kitchen and give them her order.
"Hurry up, I've got people waiting Max." Someone says.
I turn and see Emma standing there.
"Watch your mouth young lady, I'm your boss." I say.
"I can't stand this job." Emma says.
"So quit. But if you do just remember this."
"What's that?" Emma asks.
"If you quit you're not living under my roof anymore." I say.
"Fine, I'll stay. I'll just wait quietly." Emma says.
Someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn and see Ella.
"Max, your order's up." She says.
"Thanks." I say.
She hands it to me and I walk off. I walk over to Jessie's table and give her, her food.
"Thanks Max." Jessie says.
"You're welcome." I say and walk off.
I take orders from a few more tables. I get them their food. About an hour later I see Jessie still sitting at the table reading something and listening to her walkman. I walk over to the table to take her trash and give her the check. That's when I see she hasn't even touched her food.
"Jessie." I say.
I get no answer.
"Jessie!" I shout.
She takes off her headphones and looks at me.
"Sorry Max." She mumbles.
"You haven't touched your food." I say.
"I guess I got so wrapped up in studying that I forgot to eat." Jessie says.
I notice she's talking rather rapidly. I take a seat across from her.
"Are you feeling ok?" I ask.
"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Jessie asks.
"You're talking rapidly and then there's the fact that you didn't eat." I say.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" I ask.
"Yes."
"You know you can tell me if something's bothering you." I say.
"Well, the thing is, I've been so worried about doing well on some tests that I haven't been sleeping well." Jessie admits.
"You need to start sleeping better or you really won't do well."
"It's no problem Max, I've found a solution." Jessie says.
"Like what?" I ask puzzled.
Jessie opens her backpack and pulls out a white plastic bottle. She looks at it for a moment and then hands it to me. I take it from her and look at it. It's a bottle of caffeine pills. I set the bottle on the table and look Jessie in the eyes.
"Caffeine pills?" I ask.
Jessie gives a nod of her head as an answer.
"Jessie, I'm surprised with you, getting messed up with drugs. That's not like you at all." I say.
"But they're not drugs Max." Jessie says.
"They may not be illegal drugs, but they are still drugs."
"I need them."
"You need them?" I ask.
"I can't study if I don't take them."
"Jessie, you're addicted to them. You need to stop taking them or you could get hurt." I say.
"I won't get hurt." Jessie quietly says.
"Those things will ruin your health, or worse, you could end up dead."
"I won't end up dead Max, I know what I'm doing."
"Jessie, listen to yourself. You're starting to sound like me and Emma." I say.
Jessie puts her head in her hands and starts to cry.
"Oh God, you're right Max." Jessie sobs.
I stand up and walk over to where she's sitting. I sit down next to her and put my arm around her. She puts her head on my shoulders and continues to cry.
"Jessie, I don't want to see you end up like my brother. He got messed up with some pretty nasty stuff that nearly killed him." I say.
"I don't want to end up like that." Jessie says.
"Then stop taking the pills and get some help."
"I will, thanks Max."
"You're welcome." I say and let her go.
She picks up her head and I slide out of the booth. I stand up and start cleaning up the table. Jessie grabs her stuff and stands up. She walks out and I finish cleaning off the table. The rest of my shift goes quickly and I head home with Melissa and Emma.
Melissa and Emma head upstairs with me following them. Melissa heads to our room and Emma heads to her room. I head to the bedroom and find the bathroom door closed. I hear the water running in the shower.
'Great, I need to get ready for bed.' I think.
I walk out of the room and head down the hall to the other bathroom. I find the door closed when I get there. I knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Emma asks.
"It's me, open up." I say.
The door opens and I see Emma staring at me. I know what she was about to do. She was getting ready to cut herself. She backs up and I walk in. When I do I see the razor blade in her hand.
"You weren't thinking about cutting yourself, were you?" I ask.
"I…" Emma says.
"Give me the blade." I say cutting her off.
I see the light glinting off the blade, taunting me. Emma looks at me then drops the blade in the trash.
"Now, go to bed." I say.
"Yes Max." She quietly says.
She walks past me and I turn around. I watch her walk into her room. I walk out of the bathroom shutting out the light. I head back into my room. By the time I get there Melissa is in bed.
I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror over the sink. I see dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping well. I change into my pajamas and head back into the bedroom. I walk over to my side of the bed and lay down.
I take off my glasses, set them on the table and cover myself. I close my eyes and fall asleep.