Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews and messages; I don't think Maura is OOC, I think she has simply been taken out of her comfort zone which causes her confusion - no worries for the beta thing, I was replying to an anonymous reviewer.

Chapter Ten

"Would you accept to not marry me?"

The question was unusual and rather unexpected as Jane had just opened her eyes. She stared at Maura for long seconds; still half asleep. They hadn't talked much the night before when they had gone to bed. The day had been long and they were tired. Jane had turned off the lamp of her bedside table almost as soon as she had settled in bed.

"Hmm?"

Perhaps she wasn't really awake. Perhaps it was just a sensation and she actually was in the middle of a singular dream. Yet it looked extremely realistic. Maura looked down and bit her lips. Uncertainty had deepened her graceful features. She seemed to be tired.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don't want to get married. Would you accept it?" She swallowed hard and held her breath. She hadn't slept very well. Her mind was too agitated. "I love you, Jane... But marriage isn't for me. Is it a problem for you if we don't get married?"

It wasn't a dream for it made too much sense in spite of the oddness of the situation. Jane leaned up on her elbows and tried to analyze her partner's speech. Maura's words came out of the blue.

"It was just a slip. It was just a Freudian slip." Jane ran a hand through her hair. She repressed a yawn and locked her dark eyes with Maura's hazel ones. What time was it? How long had she slept for? Maura's non-proposal had taken her aback. "I had probably had too much wine..."

It had to do with her slip. They had never really talked about getting married, even the mere mention of the notion was something rather foreign to their couple. Maura had somehow alluded to it a couple of nights earlier but Jane hadn't seen it as a test. She had assumed that her partner simply wanted her opinion on the matter. Obviously Maura must have had developed some kind of obsession after Jane's Freudian slip and she now needed to be reassured.

"But will you take it badly if we never get married? Will you... Will you leave me?"

Maura's voice broke. Her eyes started shining under burning tears but she immediately swallowed them back. She couldn't allow herself to burst into tears. Not now. She would never forgive herself if she did.

"What?! Of course not. I don't give a damn about marriage! I was honest the other day when I gave you my opinion on the matter."

The nod Maura gave Jane turned out to be brief; too brief. She obviously still had doubts about her partner's honesty. Angela would be devastated. She had embraced their relationship with a lot of enthusiasm but Maura was convinced that the matriarch was hoping for a wedding. Jane knew it, she knew the pressure that would come within the decision to not tie the knot.

"Really? Please don't tell me that just to please me, Jane. I'm honestly asking you because... Because I don't want to be a burden for you. And I don't want you to miss out one of your dreams because... Because of me... I've already ruined your chances to give you a baby... I don't want to be the one who will reduce to pieces the kind of future you want to live."

"What?!"

...

Vera nonchalantly walked to the French windows. She leaned against them and took a sip of her coffee. Emma was outside on the terrace doing yoga. The cabin was quiet in spite of the late hours of the morning. William and Matthew had left a note on the fridge: they had gone grocery shopping. Emily had probably gone for a run.

A singular peace had spread an invisible veil over the house, as if Thanksgiving had swept away the excitement of the holidays. The major event was over and it felt like the end already. Such thought caused Vera to swallow hard and frown. She had always hated saying goodbye. She had needed a lot of time to adapt anew to her life in Las Vegas when she had come back from Oregon.

The next few days would be tough. She knew it.

"Good morning."

A glowing Maura walked into the living-room. She was wearing a pair of jeans and the same woolen sweater they had caught her in on the day of their arrival. Vera smiled at her. There was something different about her friend, she could feel it. Yet she was unable to say what it exactly was.

"Oh. It seems like nobody felt the desire to get up early, this morning."

A mysterious flame lit up Maura's hazel eyes, a warm one that matched the sudden pink shade of her cheeks. She didn't reply to the remark and went to pour herself a mug of coffee instead. Vera didn't need to have the details of the conversation she had had with Jane. It was personal.

Marriage. Children. Plans. They had talked about absolutely everything, letting the words they had previously refrained finally pass their lips. It had been relieving.

Jane had been sincere when she had said that she didn't see marriage as a necessity. It hadn't even really crossed her mind to suggest Maura to get married. Perhaps alluding to a potential family had been slightly more bitter as it had opened back wounds that hadn't had time to heal.

Guilt had reached the surface of Maura's heart. She hadn't realized it until now but her infertility made her feel bad towards Jane. She was convinced to have disappointed the person she loved the most on this planet, no matter she had no hold over the whole thing. Jane had showed care – patience – and comfort but they both knew that they would need time to overcome what they now saw as the first difficulty their couple was facing.

We can do it. Together.

Jane's words were still haunting Maura's mind. They twirled and rose in her head like the most beautiful mantra she had ever heard. She wanted to believe them, she wanted to embrace the truth they carried. It wasn't the first time she and Jane had to face a tough situation. Just because they were now a couple didn't change their capacity to handle it. On the contrary. They were stronger now.

Stronger and determined.

"What would you like to do, today? Our holidays are coming to an end..." Maura closed back the door of the fridge. She looked up at Vera who hadn't moved an inch. "I guess there's another lake nearby and the view is breathtaking. Perhaps we could go there in the afternoon."

A delicate nuance of melancholy haunted Vera's eyes. It barely lasted a couple of seconds but Maura didn't miss it. She frowned – confused – and tried to calm down the beats of her heart. She wasn't panicked but an alert had nonetheless set off in her head.

Something was going on, something she didn't control.

"Have you ever thought about giving up on everything, Maura? You know... Leaving it all behind to start a brand new life?"

Alright. This was not what Maura had expected. She blinked a bit ridiculously. Her hands were holding her mug of coffee quite tightly. What if Jane came in? Maura had left her partner as she had been about to take a shower but she knew that Jane didn't need much time to get ready. What if she showed up in the kitchen and happened to overhear Vera's wonders? They were extremely personal and highlighted an unexpected sentiment of insecurity; of mental fatigue.

"Oh yes... But I've never had the courage to do it. Needless to say I don't regret it now. I know I'm currently where I should be."

Though Vera could hardly say the same. She didn't even hide the timid bitterness that Maura's answer brought to her soul.

"Don't be worried, I'm fine. It must be the snow." The medical examiner from Las Vegas turned back her attention to the white landscape that seemed to spread its eternity by the window. She shrugged then took a sip of coffee. "I'm not used to it. I live in the middle of a desert!"

"Perhaps you could ask to have a little break. How about travelling to Europe? Or Asia... Or just, you know... Some exotic destination. For a little while."

The suggestion wasn't as stupid as what Maura thought and Vera immediately let her understand with a smile that she appreciated the advice. Even if it wouldn't happen.

She wouldn't go to Europe, even less to Asia. People needed her in Las Vegas and the truth was that she needed her job too. Nobody knew it but she saw it as her life savor. She was a workaholic and would always be.

"What happened to this internship you wanted to launch? You know, the one you told me about when we were in Oregon." Maura ran her tongue over her lips. "I would gladly take part in it."

"I haven't had a chance to work on it yet but it's a project I haven't given up. I'll let you know once I'm sure I get the financial help to do it."

A furtive movement on her right caused Maura to turn her head. Jane had just arrived, her hands plunged in the pockets of her jeans. Perhaps she had overheard a larger part of the conversation but she had at least had the discretion to not show up at the wrong moment. Maura appreciated it.

She couldn't say the weight that pressed on her shoulders was completely gone but the stormy cloud seemed to have nonetheless lost a bit of its strength after the conversation she had had in bed with Jane.

They were getting there, little by little. At their own pace.

And it was all what mattered in the end.