A?N: Nothing says Christmas like a drug cartel!
But have some festive Tasha! Merry Christmas!
"You are kidding, this is not necessary." Tasha hissed as she tugged down the hem of her skirt and glared at Clint who was holding back a smile.
"This is the best cover we can think of." He handed her the garish red and green tights, laughing fullly when she looked at them in horror.
"I am not the elf kind!" She snarled, yanking them out of his hand and going to put the tights on.
"You have to be, deal with it." He was snorting now as when she straightened he tugged the elf hat on her head, flicking the pointy ears attached to the side.
"You are a dead man walking." She growled, mollified slightly when he kissed her on the nose.
"You are adorable!" He proclaimed, ruining any possible chance of placating her gone with his crowing voice. "But in all seriousness Nat, you know what you're looking for?"
"An Eastern European gang smuggling cocaine in with their grottos, take a sample of the powdered snow."
"Exactly, and don't scare the kids." Clint snorted before opening the door to the main grotto in the local mall. He checked the coast was clear before Tasha slipped out of the door, straightening the hat as she went. He could envision her grimace as the bell on the tip jingled before he closed the door and started to watch on the screens.
"Okay Tash, Cap and Stark are in the Thronton mall and oh my god, Cap rocks the elf outfit!" Clint's giggle in her earpiece almost made her smile but as she reached the entrance to the grotto the store manager directed her to her worst nightmare – leading children in.
"Thank God, Sandy's throwing a fit after one kid kicked her in the shin so you've gotta take over." The manager practically propelled her to the door of the grotto. "Just take their name, tell Santa and lead them out again after." The manager quickly abandoned her afterwards as Tasha heard Clint's voice buzz again.
"Well that's going to make things a bit harder." He said drily and Tasha had to hold back a cuss word. There were little ears near her. "Okay Tasha, you got this, just smile, not to a mark but how you do to … oh how you did to Buddy." Clint's advice was not helpful; who was Buddy?! "Remember Buddy, the dog you saved in Budapest." Oh okay. Got it.
Pasting a smile on her face she took the first little boy's hand and opened the door to the grotto.
/.N.R.\
So the investigation was going nowhere but Tasha was almost enjoying herself.
No enjoying herself was the wrong word but it was interesting to see the American Christmas Craze up close.
Some of the kids were adorable, their expressions lit up when they saw Santa, and they ran up to hug the old man's knees. An old man who was bearing up rather well after what must have been his hundredth Christmas list read out to him. Some of them were naturally bratty and Tasha handed out smaller presents to the whiny ones, the ones who demanded to see Santa first.
But the worst part of this job were the parents. Oh if Tasha could, she'd strangle half of them. They were beyond obnoxious, their tempers shortened by having to queue. But they didn't have to treat her like hell – if one more Dad joked about jingling her bell she was going to punch them, and if any other Mothers' decided they were going to give her 'the stink eye' she was going to tear their hair out by their peroxide roots. Clint had not helped matters at all. He was a nuisance in her ear, laughing away or gabbling comments that made her want to hurl a plastic candy cane at the security cameras.
"Scuse me." A small voice had grabbed at her sleeve. A tiny child was staring up at her with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Thankfully Sandy had taken over leading in duty, an icepack strapped to her tights but a cheery smile plastered across her face.
"Santa's not ready yet." Tasha added a smile to her rather curt sentence, hoping it would both soften and pacify the curious creature.
"No I know but I want to know something." The little girl was whispering and when Tasha raised an eyebrow the little girl waved her down. Holding in a sigh, Tasha knelt down beside the child who was with her grandmother and tucked her hair behind her ear. When the child was sure she had the elf's attention she whispered. "Which is the real Santa? Daddy took me to see Santa yesterday in Thronton and my cousin said Santa's in Thronton today so is this not the real Santa?" She said all very fast, looking over her shoulder in case the child behind her overheard.
Tasha's heart did a funny little flip as she stared at this entirely innocent child. A child who had a home that Tasha didn't have as a child; a little girl who's worries extended to who was the real Santa and Tasha had a sudden urge to protect this child from the cruelty of the world that lay outside the grotto door.
"Well sweetie, what's your name?"
"Lisbeth." The little girl still had worry etched across her features.
"Okay Elizabeth, I'm going to let you in on an elf secret and you have to keep it a secret… promise?" Tasha whispered back, ignoring the Grandmother's smile at her indulging the little one.
"Pinky promise." Elizabeth held out her pinky which Tasha accepted after a moment's confusion.
"Okay, Santa uses a little magic to transform his head elves into copies of himself for each of the malls. So there's always someone from the North Pole listening to your Christmas Wish." She winked and the little girl beamed and shuffled forward in the line.
"I'll keep the secret." She wrapped her arms around herself as if holding the secret in herself and Tasha felt a grin etch across her face.
"Good o, enjoy seeing Santa!" She waved as the Manager came in with her replacement.
/.N.R.\
"That was cute Tash." Clint was waiting outside the door as she tugged her hat off. But before she could say anything a wail cut across her.
"You're not a real elf!?" A little boy was staring up her, almost heartbroken.
"Hey sweetie, I am a real elf." Tasha soothed instantly, kneeling down again.
"But your ears have come off." He cried, ignoring his parents trying to pull him away.
"No cutie, I'm an elf spy – Santa needs me to make sure the nice kids aren't naughty and they'll be extra nice if they see me dressed as an elf!" She gabbled and the little boy looks at her teary eyed but frowning slightly.
"I suppose that makes sense." He hedges and Tasha smiles.
"But because I know you've been a good boy and you're on Santa's nice list you'll be able to keep my secret?" She whispers and places a finger over her lips. The little boy giggles and copies her with a 'shhh' sound.
"Okay nice elf lady. Merry Christmas." He waves as he takes his father's hand and wanders back into the throng of the mall.
"Merry Christmas." Tasha says quietly, waving back to the small child.
"Now that was just impressive." Clint looks shellshocked but allows Tasha to vanish into the small room with her test tube of powdered snow. But before the results are even back, Hill buzzes in to say that Tony and Cap have positive results for coke snow and the pair need back up.
/.N.R.\
"Well aren't you just the most adorable little elf I've ever seen." Stark grins as Clint produces a photo of elfed up Tasha. The four are back in the Tower, patching wounds and congratulating themselves on a job well done.
"Where did you get that?" She glares at her partner who fights not to cringe under her gaze.
"It's okay, I've got one of Cap." Tony leans forward and takes a paper of a stack in front of her. A glossy photo of an awkward Steve shines back at her and she leans between the pair sat on the sofa.
"If you print any of me, I will reveal what you did on your 21st birthday Anthony Stark and Clint Barton, I will release that photo of you in a reindeer … outfit." Her threat is heeded and both men eye one another before nodding their acquiescence. "Good choice." She murmurs and she stalks out again, leaving the ghastly red and green tights in a heap on the floor, ditto with the elf costume but the hat she keeps, slinging it over one of her bed posts. The others think it's to remind her of the god awful outfit she endured but in reality, it's for the two little kids that she met while masquerading as an elf.