I am so sorry for the lack of updating! Ive been in and out of the country and state for a month for holidays and such; and then come home to a lot of personal stuff and i lost a lot of inspiration for life.

but now ive bounced back and am writing thanks to a new lineup of music to inspire me. I hope some things in here don't offend people or that you understand it to know what's going on. Some things are left unsaid because Itll either be explained later or the fact I didn't want to decribe everything. I've been in a very bummed mood too hence this chapter is full of angst and crying-worthy scenes.

I will make sure the next chapter comes very soon for you guys. love you *blows kisses to you all*

Chapter Ten

I walked down the street with my arms wrapped tightly across my chest. Stan and Kenny tried to touch me, but I forcefully shook them off. I didn't want people to be touching me right now!

"Dude, chill out." Kenny said casually with his hands behind his head. "He might not even be at school today…"

I heard my phone go off, and stopped to see who it was. I sighed and flipped my phone open to talk; making Stan and Kenny turn around to watch. Seriously, what's so interesting about a guy on a phone?

"K-kyle…I-I-I'm sorry f-for ringing early…"

"It's ok Craig; tell me what's wrong." I kept a low key in my voice to attempt to keep calm; but the sound of his broken voice down the other end of the phone was shattering me slowly.

"It's Stripes. He…he died this morning."

I shut my eyes and breathed heavily down the phone. I knew I wasn't going to go to school today; I just hadn't found the reason til now. I looked at Stan's slight glaring; and Kenny's concerned face, before speaking to my um, boyfriend again.

"I'll be there soon ok?" I said calmly, hearing him about to dispute. "And I'm not taking no for an answer; you need me right now."

I hung up on him before I could hear even a squeak in protest, and looked at the two people staring back at me.

"You're right Kenny; he won't be at school today. But…neither will I." I looked away seeing Stan flare his nostrils and abruptly look away from me. "Will you let them know I'm dealing with a personal issue Kenny?"

"Sure thing sweetie pie." He cooed with a small smile. "You just go and deal with this and be all fresh in the morning."

I mouthed a small thankyou before turning and leaving in the opposite direction. I could hear the muffled voice of Kenny's voice attempting to soothe Stan in some way. I didn't bother turning around because now every time I looked at him I saw Craig's face and guilt would settle in shortly after.

I come to the house and ring on the doorbell once and wait on the doormat. It was a good two minutes and there was no signs of life going to open the door. I rang it a couple more times and wrapped my arms around my stomach with a shiver. It was getting colder by the second out here; I swear.

Still nothing. Ok, I'll just push on the door and…it's open. Geez Kyle, he'd more than likely leave the door open if he was expecting you.

So I walk in; and decide to lock the door behind me. Because this town is stupid and most of the houses look the same from the outside. So you put two and two together for my reasoning. I had grown accustom to his house now; and for some reason felt really sick. I know exactly what the reason is; I just prefer not to think about it in case I throw up everywhere.

I open up the end bedroom door on the second floor hallway, and peek inside to see Craig kneeling beside an empty cage. He was flicking the little wheel around over and over again with a blank expression, and I felt my lip quiver.

"C-Craig?" I stutter, taking a slow step into the dimly lit room. He merely moves his head to stare at me; and sends a very broken smile.

"You came…" He merely whispers, getting up slowly and making his way to the bed in the far corner of the room. I stride over instantly and fall down beside him, since my legs decided it would be an awesome time to buckle. He stops rummaging through his dresser and looks at me with sad eyes, before bursting into tears.

I instantly grabbed him in a tight hug and pushed him down onto the bed before stroking his hair and kissing his temple lightly. I honestly didn't want to see him crying in case I started too; so I avoided eye contact with him for the good couple of hours we laid there. He sobbed in between outbursts before wailing and starting the cycle again, and the whole time I clenched my eyes shut to hold back my own tears.

*---*

I had stayed the night in the end; due to Craig being home alone and I felt guilty every time he teared up at remembering his lifelong deceased friend. It was around 11:30 at night when he finally cried himself to a deep slumber. I let him snuggle up to me, and I could feel his warm breath tickling my neck with every motion of his body moving up and down. Even though it was on bad terms for my reason to be there; but for some reason I felt like I was at home. And that feeling made me feel chronically ill. Because I was living one of those stupid teeny bopper soapies; you know the one where the girl is dating a guy then sleeps with his best friend. And now as I lay enjoying the warmth of my boyfriend and should feel good, I just felt like I had to throw up.

"…Kyle?" I looked down to see his sad brown eyes looking up at me. I left out a small breath before sending a small smile.

"Yes?"

"Thank you…for everything." He whispered slowly.

"You don't need to thank me." I kissed his lips gently. "It's what I'm here for."

"I do. I really do…" He sent me another sad smile. "My parents told to get over it and move on. But you…you came and treated the situation so seriously. I just wanna thank you for being there for me. You didn't have to stay and yet you did."

I smiled back at him before lying down and closing my eyes. "Like I said, it's what I'm here for…"

*---*

I dunno what time I woke up; but I could honestly say I wish I'd just kept sleeping. I felt like absolute crap; and I'm sure that I looked it too. I looked around the semi-messy room to find there was no form of visible clock or form of time telling device anywhere. If Craig doesn't own a clock; how the hell does he know when to go to school every morning?

"Hey." I whispered gently, prodding at the heavily muscled shoulder in my cheek. Nothing.

I grabbed his arm and tugged him down to lay on his back; and there I noticed he was in a deep slumber. His cheeks were tear stained, and his lips were a pinkish colour with splotches of blood from where he had bitten himself to stop himself from exploding over the night. I grabbed his left hand, and stroked the multiple bite marks he did himself. But as I looked back up to his face, I couldn't help but break a small smile at how peaceful he looked sleeping. And as I made the conscious decision to lay back down and place a hand on his chest; I felt that confusion flooding back to me.

I mean, this guy wasn't giving me a reason to leave him. More, he was giving me more reasons to stay. But then on the other hand, Tweek and Stan were on the sidelines trying to break away from the imaginary cheating security and jump those billboards to run onto the field. And unfortunately at this point in time; I was siding with the security guards. Ah the joys of teenage fuckery…I mean, love. Same diff to me.

I felt my ass vibrate…oh wait, its my phone. I pull it out, and see Kenny has sent a text:

Hai. Don't bothr bout comin 2dai. Snow has blocked school entrance. Yay! Kenny

Well thank god for that because I couldn't be bothered moving anyhow. And just as I thought I could finally lull back to sleep; six foot of muscle rolls on top of me. Fuck he's heavy!

"Craig!" I squeal, hearing a small chuckle shortly after. Great, he's decided to be a wanker instead. Well, at least he seems a little happier today.

"I thought you would've been at school by now." He questioned, propping himself on his elbow beside me.

"Nah, school got cancelled from snow apparently." I replied with a snort. " That or he attempted burning it down."

"Damn shame it's still standing then." I felt a hand on my waist. "So, guess I have you to myself for the day then?"

I nod with a smile. "You sure do."

*---*

We walked down the street at about 11:30 to meet up with friends in the park. So much for him having me to himself for the day. Since I had conveniently left my ushanka at home; Craig let me wear his old blue beanie. And I had taken a few other things like a jacket and scarf since it was so cold out today. I felt a gloved hand around my waist as we walked, and I couldn't help but smile up at the face of a normal Craig Tucker. I made myself a personal vowel that I wouldn't admit to seeing him cry his heart out; because I didn't want people to hurt him with it later on. Besides, no one needed to know what happened unless he told them anyhow.

It wasn't a huge group; but it was enough to pretty much stay in the park and muck around with. Stan and Kenny of course were there; with Butters and Tweek sitting beside them looking a little out of place. And the three girls had decided to turn up, which made me smile seeing them chatting away and laughing together. Stan seemed to look up with a slight grim expression, before giving a smile after Kenny poked him in the ribcage.

"Hey guys." Craig said with a hearty smile to follow. I broke away from him and glided over to Kenny to talk privately.

"How is he today?" He asked softly as he glanced at the two ravens joking around.

"He's better than yesterday." I reply with a smile. "It just felt right to be there for him to pour himself out to…"

"…Oh dear. I see where this is going." Kenny interjected, noticing the glint in my eye. "Bad Kyle."

I sighed, knowing what he meant. "I'm so confused. I don't know what to do without breaking apart." I looked at them both, smiling and acting like there was no triangle between us. "I just…Maybe I was wrong to jump into trying to break up with him so quickly."

It was Kenny's turn to sigh. "Well, in the end it's up to you what you do. Just don't end up hurting yourself or everyone in this okay?"

I gave a small nod, and turn back to observe everyone else. I don't speak, I just look.

Because my mind had just burnt up.

*---*

I decided I'd walk home alone since our houses were so close to the park anyway. I didn't feel it necessary for anyone to go out their way to walk me home. And as I walked down the footpath as the sun melted into the horizon and the wind became colder, I felt like someone was following me. And being the most paranoid person I was; I stopped and turned around to scout the area.

Big mistake.

I felt something hard and blunt connect with the back of my head and drop me to my hands and knees. My vision became so fuzzy and I was finding it hard to keep my torso up off the floor. I managed to look up at my stalker and clearly wasn't at all surprised.

"Clyde…?" was all that escaped my lips before my eyes rolled into the back of my head and let gravity take over.

"How hard did you hit him?"

"Not that hard! Look, he's stirring now."

"Right, right…because I want him to see everything."

Ah fuck. I hope I don't get massive head trauma from things connecting with my head. I lazily open my eyes and find I'm laying sprawled out on concrete, and Cartman and Clyde are standing over my body. Big fucking surprise; not.

I go to get up, but Clyde swoops down and pins my arms above my head. I looked up to catch his eyes, and something in his face told me he didn't really want to be doing any of this. And I knew Cartman was brilliant at blackmail, which made me wonder how bad it was this time to make the poor guy beat me and then pin me to the floor.

"Well, well, well…" Cartman gave this very evil smirk. "I told you I'd fuck you up if you kept hurting Stan; and look where we are now."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, Stan isn't as worse off as you make him out to be. Why do you care about him anyway?"

"That's none of your fucking Jew business." He snapped curtly, before kneeling down and leaning over the top of me. "In all honesty I used to think being a fag was a bad thing. But then I realised something; it was so common around these parts that no one would give a fuck if I was or not."

"And that matters to me because?" I really didn't see where he was going with this story. But really I should learn to keep my mouth shut around him.

"I've been waiting for so long to finally be dominant over you." His eyes formed pure malice and that smirk was horrible enough to slice through steel as I felt his fingers at my pant line.

"Oh fuck no!" I cried, knowing what he was gonna do to me. I can't let him win! I can't let him do this! I struggled and thrashed about, and I felt a tear on my cheek before my arms were suddenly free. And as I went for that thick throat, his chubby hand connected with my cheek first.

"Oh no Jew, you aren't fucking running anymore." He continued downstairs with the venom seeping through his words. "You'll be taking this one like the girl you are."

I gained enough strength to attempt another struggle, only to have my other cheek punch and my hands pinned up above my head. And as he gave me one last venomous smirk, I threw my head back to scream from the sheer pain of his next move.