I certify that this story is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Chapter Ten

When the family finished dinner, they moved to the library. Lily's father shot her a piercing look, and Lily couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I - I have something to say," she blurted out.

"What is it, Lily?" her mother asked. "Is it something from school?"

Lily noticed Petunia rolling her eyes, but she looked at her parents and gave a rapid nod. "Yes, it is. Mam, Da, Petunia, it's about Aunt Eira. She was a witch."

"You have got to be kidding me."

Their father slammed his hand down on the table in front of him. "Petunia! Enough!" He turned his attention back to his other daughter. "Lily, go on."

"Yes," said Lily. "She received an invitation to Hogwarts, but she didn't go."

Rosemary wrinkled her forehead. "A witch like you?"

"Yes, Mam," Lily repeated. "A witch like me. At first I wasn't going either, remember?"

Rosemary nodded. Dafydd spoke up. "It is good to hear she fulfilled her duty, like my father and grandfather always told me. So now, how did she exercise her magic?"

"She consulted the druid order here," Lily said. "That is where I have been going this past week. It was not enough though." She cleared her throat. "She died."

"Yes," Dafydd said. "It was a tragedy — the train wreck, and her so young."

Lily shook her head. "No. Now, this may be hard to hear, but she died — because of her magic."

Petunia snorted. Lily turned her head. "What?" she asked.

"Well, of course it killed her," Petunia said. "That magic kills everything — she should have known better than to mess with something like that."

"Now, Petunia," said Dafydd, "she had no choice. What is important is that she wouldn't let even the danger of death keep her from her people."

Rosemary added, in a shaky voice, "But you will be careful?"

Dafydd went on, "That's a good question. What will you do?" He steepled his fingers and looked at Lily. "I mean, you've got this information. You will not be the first magical marchioness. The past always shapes our present. So how will it shape yours?"

Lily looked at her stern father, her disdainful sister, and her pale-faced mother. "I - I thought if I told you, that would be the right thing to do. That it being a secret was what was wrong. I-"

"Whatever," said Petunia. She turned to her mother. "Mam, I'm tired. Can I go up to bed?"

Her mother waved a shaky hand, and Petunia left the room, muttering, "Bravo, Lily," as she passed her sister.

Lily swallowed and said, "I might go up too, if that's all right."

"Go," Dafydd said. "Your mother and I will be up soon."

She almost sprinted out of the room and up the stairs. She paused for a moment outside her parents' room, darting in to grab her mother's tiara. When she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and sat on her bed with a sigh. She took out her wand and placed it beside the tiara.

Her father was right. She had to choose. But how? Lily shook her head. The trouble was that the story meant something different to everyone. To her father, it meant that Lily needed to use her past to hold true to her duty. To Petunia, it was a cautionary tale about magic. To Remus, it explained the need to adapt to one's present. And to Severus, it meant — nothing; it was just a story. But what was it to Eira? And what did it mean to Lily? What should she do?

Lily walked to the mirror and raised her hand. But then she dropped it. She remembered Angharad's words: "Yes, Rhiannon, the Birds of Rhiannon help us communicate with the dead. But it is not a power that is ours. We are living beings, neither dead nor gods. Therefore, the world of the dead is not a place we belong. So do not summon the Birds, save in the hour of gravest need."

But I can't make this choice alone!

"It is the only way to choose."

Lily looked up at the portrait above the mirror. She sighed. "Okay, guess I'm to talk to you, then. If this were the wizarding world, it might make sense. But here, I'm crazy."

And that split it up, didn't it? There were two worlds. Lily put on the tiara and held up her wand. "No," she said. "I wish it would work, but it didn't - I tried it. I've got to choose, to give up one world for the other."

Lily jumped. She was almost sure she had seen Eira nod, but when she looked again the portrait was as still as ever.

"Ah, well," she muttered. "Time to try one world over the other." She placed the wand on the bed and looked in the mirror. Ardalyddes Rhiannon stared back at her. Lily gulped.

"I could do it," she said to Eira. "What you did. I can leave Hogwarts now, and be here. I've had enough magic training - you were in danger, but I won't be. And so what if I've been away a few years? Lots of people go away to go to school. I could do that - reclaim my duty."

For a second Lily stood taller, imagining all the things she would do for her people, for her country. But then she thought of Charles and Anna, her closest friends in early childhood. Friends she could not help. So who were her people? Serving the people here was all she had learned. But - even if she never practiced her magic, even if she was like Mrs. Snape, there would be a part of her — a big part — that no one would understand.

Lily yanked the tiara off her head and grabbed her wand again. "Yes, Eira, I promised. But if I can't dedicate my whole self to my people, shouldn't I find someone else who can? And how can I back away from people who need me, wherever they are? I mean — there's a war in the wizarding world. The oath said I would never turn my back on danger, and I assumed I would find it here."

She paced. "I have to be who I am. That is what you did, isn't it? You were Arglwyddes Rhiannon, and nothing got in your way." She stopped. "So what am I? Am I a noblewoman with magic, or am I a witch with a title?"

Well, which was it? If she told her father she couldn't be Ardalyddes, she would still be the same person — wouldn't she? But magic — how would she give that up? Could she, even? She held up her hand and snapped her fingers. Take away the wand, and there was magic there. Even Angharad saw it.

"Okay, enough rambling already," Lily said. She looked at the portrait on her wall and added, "You know what I have to do, Eira, to be the person I am."

"Ni galla i bod Ardalyddes, Da." 1

Dafydd blinked. "Lily, are you sure?"

"Yes, I am." Lily stood and poured herself some tea. "Yes. You were right–I needed to make a choice."

"So you chose to leave us behind?" he asked.

Lily's lips tightened into a sad smile. "It's what I have to do. I cannot serve Môn with the same dedication as Eira, as you, so I have to give them someone who can do. Petunia can."

Dafydd looked down. "I'll call for her, then."

He left the room and returned with a confused-looking Petunia in tow. As she moved to stand next to Lily, Dafydd faced them both. In a formal voice he said, "Petunia Carys Evans, your sister has found herself unfit to be my successor. She wishes you to inherit instead. Will you take on this honourable task?"

"I will not," Petunia replied.

Dafydd blinked and tightened his mouth, but all he said was, "Very well. I shall call my brother, John Evans. Thank you." He turned his back and left the room.

Lily turned to Petunia. "You could've told him you'd think about it."

"Yeah," Petunia said. "I guess I could lie to get Da off your case." She looked at her sister and sighed. "These people in our house, Lily—these are your people! They would do anything, give anything, for you. And the second you've found something that seems better, you leave them all behind?"

Lily's eyes filled with tears. "No," she protested. "You have to understand. I never wanted this—I didn't — you know I didn't — but I had to! And this is what you wanted most, the title, wasn't it?"

"Lily," said Petunia, "Do you really think that? That I would ever want to have — something, anything — because you weren't available?" She pushed her hair behind her ear. "In London, I am good at what I do. There, I am never anyone's second choice."

Lily looked at her sister. There was no envy on her face, no disdain, only a real pain, a true pain. "Petunia..."

"And this has all happened before! The witch, the forgotten sibling... except that you never learn from your past. What if the reason Eira died was not that she couldn't train her magic, but that she was trying to control it? What if she would rather die than be a freak like you?"

Lily stood, muted. Petunia went on. "But you never take anyone's advice but your own. Did you ask any of your beloved family what we thought you should do?"

Lily realised Petunia was right — this decision was one she couldn't make alone. There was only one person to help her, one who knew the issue as she did, one who saw that her choice was the only one she really had...

"Excuse me," she said, and she walked to her room and took out a leaf of parchment. She wrote:

Dear Remus,

Well, I told my family. They were startled, but my parents will come around in time. Petunia I'm not so sure about. But my father urged me to choose one path over the other. So I gave up my title. And–well, no one thinks I did the right thing, but-

She looked at the words she had just written. That wasn't true. Or was it? Her father had looked sad, but resigned. Was what Petunia said true? Had she done wrong? Was she being too selfish? She finished the letter:

But you will know what to do — or what to undo.

Love,

Lily

She added a P.S. Maybe I should rethink this all, but then blotted it out. Looking over the letter, she decided to rewrite the whole thing, not just the postscript. Lily left the letter on the desk as a reminder for the morning. Blodeuwedd looked at her, but Lily said, "Not now, okay?" and turned her attention to the record player at her side. Dafydd Iwan sang his songs, and as Lily closed her eyes, his voice became that of Hen Daid in the hospital.

"Arglwyddes Rhiannon, bore da. Years ago, there was another Arglwyddes Rhiannon. The past always repeats, does it not? She had the same responsibility, the same power. Would that she had it for longer, but... I have watched you. And you can succeed as she did."

Lily sighed. For a girl of ten, that speech had made her feel so significant. It made her feel special. And then, when they picked on her at Hogwarts, it felt like all she had.

There was a knock on the door, and a voice called, "Arglwyddes Rhiannon? Would you like supper?"

Lily opened the door to see Gwen in the hallway, a concerned expression on her face. She did her best to smile. "No, thank you. Please tell my parents that I have a headache and will lie down to rest."

Gwen nodded and walked away. Lily closed the door and chose a new album. When it finished, she picked another one. And on and on, until she decided to close her eyes for just a moment...

When Lily woke up, she heard a few voices in the front hallway belonging to her mother and... Remus? She sighed and ran a brush through her hair before opening her door and stepping out.

"-Yes," Remus was saying. "Hogwarts has it all worked out so that the letters come to wherever I am, not to my home."

Lily's mother nodded. "I should have known they'd find a solution."

They both looked up as Lily walked down the stairs. "Remus," she called. "How are you?"

"I got your letter," he answered.

"Oh... right," Lily said.

"Lily, Remus," her mother broke in. "Why don't you two have a picnic and talk about it all? Remus, you can take my horse, Gwyn."

"Um," Remus mumbled, "okay."

Lily turned to Remus. "I'll change," she said, pointing to her dress, "and get some gear for us. I'll be right back."

She ran back up to her room and leaned against the door. Blodeuwedd hooted at her from the window. Lily narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. She had asked Blodeuwedd not to send the letter. Hadn't she? Lily sighed and changed into her shirt and jodhpurs.

When she walked back downstairs, she tapped Remus' shoulder and nudged him outside, to the stables.

"Bran!" she called out.

A young man ran out of the building. "Yes? Arglwyddes Rhiannon, what can I do for you?"

"Bran. Can you get Gwyn and Gwyrdd ready for me?"

A woman dashed out of the house, holding two saddlebags. "Arglwyddes Rhiannon?" she shouted. "Here's your picnic lunch."

"Diolch, Mrs. Williams," Lily said. Bran led out the two horses. Lily turned to face Remus. "This is Gwyn."

"Lily, I'm not great at riding," Remus said. "I've been a few times, sure, but- "

"Don't worry, this'll be easy," Lily said, and the two mounted and began to ride off.

It wasn't long before they reached a clearing in the forest. Lily looked around it and said, "Yes, this looks like a good place. Shall we see what Mrs. Williams packed for us?"

But once Remus was sitting on the blanket with Lily, he squeezed her hand. "Now, Lily," he asked, "what about this?" He held out the letter.

Lily opened a saddlebag and pulled out a thermos. "That's what I had to do."

Remus nodded. "Yes, I thought it might be. And of course no one else understands it — they don't have magic." He reached out. "Could I have a cup of tea too, please?"

"Oh, sure, of course." Lily dug out two teacups and filled them. "Only Petunia was all on my case about abandoning my family."

"But you're not leaving — all you're giving up is the title," Remus protested. "And what is that? Nothing. It's - Lily, it isn't you."

Lily took a sip of her tea. "No, it's more than that. I don't go home now, except in the summer. And even then, I ignore them most of the time. Eventually - well, I had to choose between the Muggle world and the wizarding world, and I chose the world that didn't have them in it." She looked down at the blanket.

Remus lifted her chin. "You chose the world that has you in it." He added, "Now, let's eat!"

The two of them spread out the meats, cheeses, and crackers, setting aside a warm jar. Remus held up the jar. "Rarebit?" he asked.

Lily smiled. "Yes. Mrs. Williams makes the absolute best in all of Wales. Want some?"

They spent a few minutes piling food on their plates and eating.

Lily cleared her throat. "Back to business?" she asked.

"Back to business," Remus agreed. "So, how did your family take the news?"

"They were thrown," Lily said. "As thrown as I was. You know, you live your whole life thinking it's all one story, and then you see it's about something else entirely. They need time is all." She frowned. "Not Petunia, though."

Remus asked, "So, she won't be Marchioness, then?"

"No, she won't." Lily cleared her throat. "She says she can't take a post where I was the first choice, not her."

"But she's the first choice now."

Lily shook her head. "There are two things. First, as eldest, the title should have gone to her. She had been preparing for that all her life; we all had. It hurt her indescribably when they went over her head and chose me. So how can she say she wants it now? Also, my grandfather was offered the title when Aunt Eira died, and he refused it for the same reasons. So it makes sense."

"But it's not the same — you haven't died. So how can she hurt you like this as well as your parents?"

"How can I put her in this position?"

Remus grabbed her shoulders. "You aren't. She is your sister, so you care about her and want her to be happy. And that's great, and it makes you a better person. But this information — it made everyone around it sad. So let her do what you did — let her be sad and then move on." He caught sight of Lily's eyebrows. "She will get over it. Maybe not the way you'd want her to, but she will. Just give it time, at least longer than two days."

Lily nodded. "I will, Remus. But in the meantime, I think we should head back."

They repacked the blanket and food and began the trail back to the house. However, about halfway back, Lily guided them off the path, until they came back to the cemetery. She dismounted and tied Gwyrdd to the fence, and she saw that Remus did the same with Gwyn. They walked through the gate, and Lily guided Remus to Eira's grave. They knelt in front of the stone.

"So, this is your Aunt Eira's grave?"

"Yes."

He pointed to the inscription. "What is this?"

"My family's epigram. 'The last enemy destroyed shall be death.'" She looked down. "And she sure enough was dutiful to death."

"Yeah. But you can be too."

"Can I? What is duty?"

"Duty is something you do, no one else. It's not what anyone asks of you. Eira's duty was what was right, for her. But you, no one else, know what is right for you."

"No, Remus. What's right is right forever."

"Lily, the past is important, but it doesn't define you."

Lily shook her head. "No, you don't understand. It's all right. But see, the past isn't only important. Sometimes it's all we have." She sat up. "When I learned that Aunt Eira turned down Hogwarts, what was the first thing we checked? Whether it had happened before. In the past."

"Okay, Lily. If you want to live in the past, you can." He pulled her up. "Or you can use your moral compass to go through your present and future. I think it's clear in which of these you can help people."

"Good point," Lily said. "So, what I decide does not have to be what she did." She paused. "But it can be."

Remus grimaced. "Yes, it can. And there are witches and wizards who live in the Muggle world. You met one in Cardiff. But think of all the reasons you decided not to go home as much as before. Those won't go away. And you will always have magic. There is no way, no way, to give that up."

"Really? Where did you learn that?" Lily asked.

"Oh - Muggle Studies."

"Right." Lily nodded. "You're right. I know what I have to do." She turned back. "But - I won't leave my family."

Remus mounted Gwyn. "You should talk to them."

Lily mounted her own horse, and the two of them headed back to the house.

When they arrived, Lily called out, "Diolch, Bran!" as he led the horses away. She led Remus to the library. "I'll talk to my dad first," she said. "I'll be back soon."

Remus nodded, and she walked to her father's study. "Da?" she asked.

Her father turned around in his chair. "Lily? What is it?"

"I have to talk to you," Lily said. Mr. Evans pointed to a chair, and Lily sat down. "It's about yesterday. Even if I am not marchioness, I will never leave this family."

"But it seems you will. If you don't take the job here, you've got to have a job elsewhere, haven't you? Most likely outside Wales."

Lily smiled. "Da, you know about Floo Powder, right? That we use in the living room fire?" He nodded. "Well, lots of witches and wizards use that to travel to work, even in other cities. So I can do that too - I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded. "Good," he said, and Lily, smiling, turned toward the door. When she got back to the library, Remus was peering at one of the family's many chess sets. She sat down next to him.

"One down, two to go," she said.

"So how did he take it?" Remus asked.

"Pretty well," Lily said. "I'll talk to my mom soon." She pointed to the set. "Want to play?"

The chess game turned out to be more evenly matched than Lily had expected. An hour passed, and the game had not yet finished. It was then that Petunia walked into the room.

Remus stood. "Remus Lupin," he said, holding out his hand.

Petunia, though, brushed past it. "I see you have a new freakish friend," she said to Lily. "So, then. Any second thoughts about abandoning your family?"

"I talked to Da," Lily said. "He agreed with me that I don't have to live where my job is. I'll stay here, in this house."

"But not in this world," Petunia shot back. "Right?"

Lily swallowed and looked at Remus. "She is in this world, right here, right now. So why not make the most of it?"

"I'm not the one she will leave when she goes," Petunia muttered as she walked out of the room.

"Why don't you stand up to her?" Remus asked. "At school, there is no one you fear. What makes her so different?"

Lily smiled. "She's my sister," she said. "So how can I fight her, when she has never been my enemy?" She looked at Remus. "You haven't any brothers or sisters, have you?"

"No," Remus said. "And glad of it. I wouldn't want to put them in danger."

"Well, siblings know you, even your most unpleasant secret," Lily said. "And-" She paused as an owl tapped on the window, holding two letters. She handed Remus his and continued to speak as she opened her letter.

"Petunia knows that I always felt important, special." She twisted her mouth into a grimace. "And now that I gave this up - I'm as ordinary in this world as I am in the wizarding world — just a person."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" he asked, holding up the badge that fell out of the envelope.

Lily clasped her hands together. "I made Prefect! That's great!"

"See?" Remus said. "You are special. And you need nothing to appear that way — people will always recognise it in you, marchioness or not."

Lily looked at the matching badge at Remus' side. "And you are every bit as special as I am."

Mrs. Evans came into the library Spying the two badges, she said, "Oh, you're both prefects, then! How marvellous! We simply must get you up to London for a bit of shopping before school."

"Yes, that sounds good," Remus said. "We certainly should get a few new books."

He nudged Lily, and she said, "Mam, I gave up the marquessate yesterday."

Mrs. Evans nodded. "I thought you might," she said.

"Really?" said Lily. "Well, I hope you won't consider it as an abandonment. With or without the title, you are all still my family, and this is where I live."

"Yes, of course," her mother said. "Do as you must to stay safe, Lily. That's all I ask." She turned to Remus. "Now, Remus, are you staying to tea?"

"If that's all right."

"Yes, of course it is! I'll let Mr. Davies know."

They had just finished the second game when Mr. Davies appeared in the doorway. "Arglwyddes Rhiannon, Mr. Lupin," he announced, "tea is in the dining room."

"Thank you, Mr. Davies," Lily said. "So, Remus, shall we go? Leave it," she added as he picked up the chess set. "The maids will manage."

"Show me where," said Remus, putting down the chess set and holding out his arm. Lily laughed and grabbed it, guiding him through the halls to the dining room, where she saw her mother, her father, and Petunia already seated.

"Hello, Lily, Remus," her mother said. "Everyone, today Lily and Remus found out something special. And what was that, dear?"

"We will both be the Gryffindor prefects for our year," Lily said, half-fearing Petunia's reaction.

Petunia raised her eyebrows, but it was Mr. Evans who spoke up. "So you've not lost all position, I see. Good for you."

Lily felt a chill run down her spine, and she looked over at Remus as her mother babbled on about shopping trips and success at school.

After tea, Remus said, "Well, I should get back, I think."

"Oh no!" Lily's mother protested. "So soon! Hadn't you rather stay the night here and head back in the morning?"

"No, I'm afraid I can't," Remus said. He shot Lily a look, and she nodded. "I would like to call a cab to the train station though."

Mrs. Evans' forehead creased. "But can't you - Floo - home?"

Remus shook his head. "I didn't know your house was hooked up to the Network, so I bought a return ticket. I'll be glad of the journey."

"Our chauffeur can take you," Lily offered. "I'll just go tell him to bring the car around," Mrs. Evans added.

Lily turned as soon as her mother was out of earshot. "Remus," she began, but could not bring herself to add the rest.

"No, Lily," he said, "you'll be fine. Look, I'll write to you every day. And in just a few weeks, we'll be in London."

Lily looked down. "Weeks?"

Remus reached out for her chin. "Lily. It'll pass in a flash. You'll see. And if you need me, you can always Floo."

Lily nodded. "True." She put her arm around Remus' shoulders. "Thank you so much for stopping by. I couldn't have a handle on this without you."

"I was happy to be here," Remus said. He turned to face Mrs. Evans as she returned. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Evans. I'll see you in a few weeks."

With a hurried "Goodbye!" he got into the car and drove away.

True to his word, Remus wrote every day. Between his and Severus' frequent letters, Lily found the ability to ignore even Petunia, spending her time instead looking forward to the trip to London.

Four weeks to the day, the Evans family boarded the train to London. Almost the moment they stepped out, Petunia said, "If you'll excuse me," and hailed a cab. Lily and her parents made their way to their London house.

As Lily kept reminding her parents, being a Prefect did not require any specific books or special supplies, but it still seemed there were many goods to buy Lily and Remus talked and laughed over piles of cauldrons, crystal balls, and tales of past Hogwarts prefects.

1 I cannot be the Marchioness, Da.