Disclaimer:Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight
Chapter 10
"Oh, this is priceless..." Tanya taunted through a wicked smile.
I couldn't move, it seemed as though my feet were stuck to the floor and my gaze was locked straight at her perfect features.
This was one of the women Edward had betrayed me with.
"You," I growled through clenched teeth.
"Bella, darling, we meet again. Tell me, how's Edward?" she asked, her voice dripping with sweetness. "I see by the way you're glaring at me that you finally found out; took you long enough. But if you knew all along, it would have taken the fun out of sneaking around."
I was beyond furious. I was about to march over and rip her fucking head off when Eric asked, "You two know each other?"
"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, baby," Tanya replied and I laughed bitterly.
"What?" I asked through my laughter. "You don't think he should know that you're a man-stealing whore? That you ruined my marriage because you couldn't keep your skanky hands off my husband?"
Eric looked to me and then back to Tanya. She appeared unaffected, like I hadn't just told her boyfriend she had whored herself around the office and was unashamed of the fact.
"Tanya, is that true? You...you're the one that Bella's husband...?" I ripped my gaze from Tanya and saw that Eric looked devastated by the news. I felt like a bitch for how I told him, but I was furious and if it hurt that slut, then I wouldn't regret doing it.
"Eric, Bella says it as if I was the only one involved. It takes two to tango and, last time I checked, Edward was more than willing to fuck me and my sister. Guess you just weren't enough for him." Tanya shrugged nonchalantly and I lost it. I was going to fucking tear her perfect little plastic face from her stupid whorish body. Then I was going to burn her and piss on her ashes.
My claws were out and Tanya's calm demeanor slipped as I pounced. Her eyes widened in fear and, lucky for her, Eric caught me before I could rip out handfuls of her over-bleached hair.
"I'm going to fucking kill you! You're a no good whore. You say I couldn't satisfy him, well you must have done an even shittier job if he's begging me to take him back." Her face fell for a split second before she covered it up, but it was too late, I had already seen it. "Oh? That's beautiful, perfect even," I said softly as she tried not to cry. "Did you really think he would ever love you? That he would leave me for you? You're nothing Tanya Denali and not even daddy's money could buy you some class."
Tears began streaming her face and I rejoiced in the fact. I wanted her to fucking suffer as I had.
I was the one Edward would always love.
She was just a big fucking error in judgment.
"Enough Bella, it's time you left," Eric ordered and I smiled in victory.
"You're right Eric, it's time I go. But if I were you, I'd get out quickly too. Did you ever hear that saying, what comes around, goes around? Well I have a feeling something big is coming for you, Tanya." With that I gave her one last stare before I turned on my heel and made my way out of the VIP room.
I didn't even bother looking for Angela and Ben, I ran outside as quickly as I could and broke down as soon as the cold night air hit my face. I couldn't believe I had shown such strength against a woman like her. It was very strange, considering for two years I had sat in bed thinking of everything I wanted to say should I ever see her. Now that it was off of my chest, I felt lighter somehow, like a weight that had been crushing me was lifted.
It didn't explain why I was hysterical outside the nightclub, where I had yet to stay a whole night without something biting me in the ass, though. Strangely enough, it was always over Edward.
Edward...
No more lies...
I stood up, straightened my dress and ran to hail a cab. When I got one, I scooted in, ignored the cab drivers wary glance at my mascara smeared face and gave him Edward's address.
I was getting my answers and I was getting them now.
-O~O~O-
I knocked on their front door as loudly as I could, not caring that it was two o'clock in the morning or that Carlisle and Esme were in bed.
I was done being the one who was kept out of the loop.
I needed to know what Edward was hiding.
Ten minutes of constant pounding on the wooden frame and, finally, I heard movement.
"What do you want?" Carlisle roared as he ripped the door open and held a hand gun up to my face. I shrieked and jumped back in fright, landing on my ass. "Bella? What's the meaning of this, its two in the morning!" Carlisle shouted as he tried to hide the gun behind his half naked body.
"Is that how you fucking answer your door?" I asked and he gave me the look. Y'know, the watch-your-mouth-with-me-or-I'll-rip-it-the-fuck-off look, but I just ignored it and pressed on. Standing up I asked, "Why do you have a gun?"
"For protection," he said curtly. "Now answer me, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Is Charlie okay?"
"He's fine, but I have to speak with Edward."
"Well, it will have to wait until morning..." he started but I cut him off.
"No, I said I have to speak with Edward and I have to do it now."
Carlisle looked at me intently for a moment, but I wasn't backing down. Reluctantly, he stepped to the side and let me in, shutting the door behind me and walking back to his bedroom. I turned to my left to see Edward coming out of the kitchen with another gun in his hand. What is with people and guns in this house...?
"Bella?" he said and although I knew I had to speak to him urgently, I let my eyes wander over his toned body. He was in only his black boxer briefs, his hair was in complete disarray and the gun in his hand only fueled my imagination. "What are you doing here? Are you hurt?"
Snapping out of my lust-filled thoughts, I went back to the matter at hand. "Tell me what's going on, I'm done with waiting."
Edward looked at me, his face emotionless and I knew he wasn't going to answer.
Needless to say, it pissed me off even more.
I had to hurt him to make myself feel better and, possibly, guilt him into speaking the truth.
"I saw her an hour ago," I said and his eyes filled with shame. He knew who I was speaking about. "Tanya Denali, she's fucking Eric now and I made her cry for a change. I guess now she's suffering like I did... or like I am. This isn't a test anymore Edward. This goes so far beyond my fucking rules and I'm going to find out what you're hiding," I assured him and he shook his head angrily.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's better you don't know? That I'm trying to protect you?" he asked, his voice laced with warning.
I had it up to here with people thinking they knew better. Therefore, I wasn't taking that shit from him.
"What a crock of shit! If you wanted to protect me from getting hurt, you should have never slept with me at the wedding. But we both made that mistake now, didn't we?" I spat and his face turned furious.
Suddenly I was pushed against the wall and his body was pressed into mine. "What happened at the wedding was not a mistake," he stated in a dark voice, and suddenly his lips were on mine. It felt really good, but I knew he was trying to distract me and he'd just told me he was trying to protect me, yet he would rather kiss me than tell me the truth. Pushing him away, I lifted my hand and swung it until it made contact with his cheek. It made me feel a lot better.
"So now you can kiss me, but I don't get the truth?" I shouted and he stood back away from me. Probably a wise move...
"You're right," he whispered.
"So you'll tell me the truth?"
"No, I shouldn't have kissed you. It's wrong of me to lead you on anymore. You need to go and find someone who's worth your love, Bella."
"I'm so sick of hearing that. I told you already that I want you and it took me two fucking years to admit it. Now tell me the truth Edward, because I won't be cheated out of my happily ever after by you again."
He seemed shocked at my words for some reason. Like he hadn't expected that level of commitment from me.
"I can't," he spoke in a low tone as he sat himself down on the floor.
"You can tell me anything," I replied in a soft voice and sat beside him.
"It'll only hurt you, just like it hurt everyone else."
"What hurt everyone else?"
Edward looked distressed, like he was battling something inside himself and debating on whether to let me in or not.
"Him...I...it was...I was just..." he started, but it kept getting stuck in his throat. His eyes met mine, full of pain and begging for mercy.
"Who is he? Who do you mean when you say 'him' Edward?" I asked, trying to encourage him to tell me more.
I could actually see it in his eyes when he came back to himself. "No, stop it, I won't tell you. You say you want the truth, well I can't give it to you. Besides, when you hear it you'll leave anyway and you'll be back to the hurt you say you know so well." Edward was silent for a moment before he whispered. "If I hurt you again it will destroy the last sane piece of me."
I knew he would say nothing else.
Part of me wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and curse him for wasting more of my time.
But I couldn't. It was time to face the facts, there was no moving on from Edward Cullen. No matter how much I wished there was.
He had ruined me for other men years ago...
We were making out like crazy on the couch of his dorm. We'd been seeing each other for around three months and the whole time he'd been nothing but a gentleman. Sure, there was some groping and... heavy touching of sorts...but Edward never pressured me to go further.
His roomate would be gone all weekend so I decided that tonight would be the night. Edward and I were going to do it. I had never been so turned on before by someone and by the looks of things, either had he.
"Bella..." Edward grunted before he captured my lips again. "We need to stop now or I won't be able to control myself."
"I don't want you to stop or to control yourself," I moaned, wantonly. I was going to spontaneously combust if he didn't touch me soon.
He pulled away and I whimpered at the loss of his lips from mine. "Do you mean that?" he asked in a husky voice and looked down into my eyes.
"Yeah...I... I really do. I've wanted you since you first brought me to our meadow." My cheeks flushed crimson at my admission and his eyes darkened considerably. What I saw in them was hunger and I delighted at the fact I was the one to make him feel like that.
"I've wanted you for forever," Edward said before slowly bringing his lips back down to mine, but this time our kiss wasn't frantic or needy. It was slow and sensuous.
My hands began to tremble and I was starting to feel nervous now that I knew we were going to go all the way. I mean, I had done it once before, but Marcus had told his friends that I'd been no good. What if I disappointed Edward? Would he leave me?
"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting up and pulling me with him so I was straddling his lap.
"I'm just...nervous," I admitted, looking down sheepishly. I whipped my head up when I heard his sudden intake of breath.
"You're not a virgin, are you? If you are, we can wait. I can make everything perfect for you and rent a room or something in a nice hotel..." Edward always rambled when he was nervous and it was one of things I loved about him: that under his rugged and sexy looks, he was still the awkward nerd of my childhood.
I silenced him with my lips. "I'm not a virgin, don't panic. But I only...y'know...once before and I wasn't good at it. I just don't want to disappoint you."
He grabbed my face in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eye. "You could never disappoint me Bella Swan. Whatever we do will be utterly and totally perfect just because it's you I'm doing it with."
He was such a cheese-ball, but I loved it. Every single word...
I attacked him then, not that he minded, and was carried to his bedroom and laid down on the unmade bed. Things happened fast from there. We were one big ball of sexual tension waiting to be unraveled. And it wasn't how it was in the movies or in books. There wasn't any fanfair about it. Edward simply took a condom out of his wallet and then we were having sex.
Then as I neared my peak my word filter disappeared and I spewed my thoughts out loud. "Edward, I love you."
"God Bella, I love you too!" he breathed, and in that moment my life was beyond perfect.
He loved me and that was all that mattered.
I was so naïve back then and maybe I still was now.
"Edward," I said and he continued to stare ahead. "Look at me goddammit!"
Slowly he turned to me. It was startling how much he had changed, I would forever remember the boy with the lightest eyes and brightest smile as he moved in me.
Was Edward still that boy? He looked nothing like him and acted nothing like him. Was I kidding myself with this?
"Who are you?" I questioned, utterly at a loss.
His eyebrows furrowed. "You know who I am, Bella."
"No...I really don't. I knew the old you. The one that would laugh, joke, dance with me. The one who would play the piano and would watch shitty movies with me all day long. That's not you anymore and, Edward, I get that. I'm different too. Times change, people change, I know better than anyone."
"So what do you want from me? You said it yourself: apparently that's not me anymore and I'm sorry if you wanted me to be that. But I'm just a fuck-up now, I can't do anything without destroying it. I want you so badly it fucking hurts, Bella, and everyone knows that you're so far out of my reach!" Edward shouted, swells of clear liquid rolling down his cheeks. "I was so sure when you left me two years ago that I would win you back and when you refused me...I...I just...I broke down."
"Is that what caused whatever is going on?" I queried.
"Yes." Finally a fucking answer...!
"Look, I...can I take two guesses just to ease my mind? Then if they're not what I feared the most, we'll continue with the plan."
"Okay... and if it is what you worst feared?" he asked.
"Then I'll walk out the door and you won't see me again. Because if it is what I imagined, there's no coming back from it; we have no hope of salvagin what we used to be." At my words, the last spark of light in his eyes dimmed and was replaced with terror.
"Alright," Edward agreed, and I took a breath.
"Do you have a child or children that I'm not aware of by another woman?" I asked and he looked at me like I was crazy.
"Of course not, do you think that I would sleep with anyone after I lost you?"
"Wait...you haven't slept... with anyone in two years?" I asked incredulously. Two years was a really long time...
"No, I...it would be wrong. Like I was...betraying you again," Edward murmured.
I don't know why, but hearing him say that made me feel so much better, like maybe he was worth my time after all.
"Okay," I sighed in relief. "So, no illegitimate children. Final guess, are you sick or something?" I asked and he looked like he was thinking about his answer carefully.
"Define sick?"
Oh God! The moment he said those words my hands flew up to my chest and I began to panic. He was sick...no, he was going to die. I didn't want to lose him.
"Bella, calm down," he ordered and I realized that I was hyperventilating.
"What's wrong? Is it fatal?"
"Bella..."
"You're going to die aren't you?"
"Bella..."
"No, we'll get you help, whatever you need."
"Bella, for fuck's sake, will you listen please?" Edward shouted. "I'm not dying, but I am sick. That's all I'm going to give you on this. Go home now, get some rest and we'll talk more tomorrow, I swear."
Now that he mentioned it, I was exhausted. My feet were aching from the heels I was wearing and I felt dirty and sweaty from being in the crowded nightclub before I came here.
"You promise we'll speak tomorrow? You're not just going to vanish before I can call?" I asked and he smiled sadly at me.
"I promise. Do you want me to drive you home?" Yeah because that turned out great last time...
"No, I'm going to grab a taxi... clear my head a bit," I explained when a look of rejection crossed his face.
"Are you sure it's safe?" Edward questioned and I wondered why everyone was so concerned about protection all of a sudden. Was there a serial killer on the loose that I wasn't aware of...?
"Yes, daughter of a cop, remember?"
"How could I forget?" he replied and I smirked a little at his attempt at humor.
Then I left and walked into the night, longing for the comfort of my home.
Hello everyone,
I've gotten a few good guesses so far and I'm loving some of your theories. For those of you who guessed love child, sorry, you got it wrong. Hope you're not too dissapointed.
Thanks so much for all of the amazing reviews and for adding me to your favourite authors and adding "I Hope She was Worth It" to your favourite storys.
A big thank you to my Beta, Peppahlouie. You're amazing!
Please leave a review and tell me what you think, because, in the words of Edward Cullen..."Your review, it's like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroin." :D Never gets old LOL!
Until next time,
~ Casey