Me: Do I have to do a Disclaimer?
Lawyers: Yes!
Me: Fine.
Disclaimer: Same as always... :runs away from the Lawyers crying:
A/N: Sorry for the LOOOOOOOONG wait again... school... homework... Pirate... Well, it's about 7 pages long hope that makes up for the wait... On with the story!
Last time with Will & Jack:
"Jack, I am not getting drunk."
"Oh yes you are. I need you to round up all your groom's men because they're coming with."
"Jack, Commodore Norrington is one of my groom's men."
Getting ready to make way, A Tortuan Bachelor Party, and Drunken Revelations
"Why?" Jack asked Will.
"It is mainly for show. To prove that there are no hard feelings between Mr. Turner and I." Commodore Norrington supplied.
"Oh. I see. Well, Commodore, I suppose you'll need to have your second in command take over the fort duties for the night."
"You honestly want me to come to Tortuga with you?"
"Aye, why not? Unless of course you don't want to go to the best town in all the Caribbean..."
"I'll go, but only to make sure Mr. Turner remains faithful in his sure to be drunken stupor."
"Of course. Will, like I said earlier, Round up yer groom's men and have 'em be at the Pearl in say half an hour. Commodore, ye can come with me while Will rounds up the groom's men." Will put his tools and such away, and went up to his flat to change out of his work clothes.
"All right. Will any of your crew be joining us?" The Commodore asked.
"Aye. Three of 'em, they'll be watchin' me ship while we drink in town."
"Who will help guide your ship?"
"You, Will, the other groom's men, three of my crewmen."
"That's what? Twelve men? A ship that size, that's impossible."
"Improbable, mate. And, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. I sailed the Interceptor with one man, who knew nothing of sailing. I can certainly sail a ship with twelve." Just then Will came down in his regular clothes.
"Well, I'm off. I'll be at the Pearl with my groom's men in half an hour, or so."
"Good, an' let 'em know yer all being put t'work, goin' an' comin."
"What about when we're drunk? How are we going to sail the ship then?"
"Easy, you all stop drinking about two or three hours before we leave, then you'll be relatively sober. Now get goin." With that Will went off in search for his groom's men. Jack, for the first time, noted that Commodore Norrington was in his military uniform. "Do you have anything other than that… finery to wear?"
"I do have civilian clothes, if that's what you're asking, although you would consider them to be finery, as you put it." Jack made a disgusted face and looked at the Commodore.
"Yer about my height, my weight. Ye can borrow some of my clothes… Oh, an' leave the wig here in Port Royal. Oh, do ye have any sea boots?"
"Yes, in my office at the fort. We can stop there on the way to the Black Pearl."
"All right, let's go." With that the two men left the forge, Jack making sure, on Will's behalf, that the forge was locked up tight for the day and night.
Soon Commodore Norrington and Jack were at the fort. Commodore Norrington found Lieutenant Gillette before going to his office.
"Lieutenant, a moment?" Gillette walked over to his commanding officer, slightly distraught to see him standing next to a pirate.
"Yes sir?"
"Since I am part of Mr. Turner's groom's men I will be accompanying Captain Sparrow, Mr. Turner and the other groom's men to celebrate Mr. Turner's last 24 hours of bachelorhood. In order to do so, I will not be in Port Royal. Since you are my second in command, you will take charge of the fort for the rest of today and tonight, until I return tomorrow morning. I trust you can handle that?"
"Of course, Sir. Where you will be going, if I may I inquire, Sir? Strictly for the basis of if your presence is somehow required back sooner than anticipated."
"Tortuga for a… bachelor party."
"Tortuga, Sir? Isn't that…"
"Yes. Captain Sparrow is the one who is hosting the party, as best man. From this moment on, you are in charge. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Lieutenant." Lieutenant Gillette saluted Commodore Norrington, who mimicked the action, before taking their leave from each other. Commodore Norrington & Jack went on to Norrington's office. Once in the Commodore's office, Commodore Norrington took off his wig, and his jacket.
"So, Commodore, since we'll be sharing a drink together, we may as well drop the formality, at least while on the Pearl and in Tortuga… How bout you call me Jack, or Captain, and I call you… Whatever your first name is, eh? What say you to that?" Commodore Norrington thought about his proposition for a moment while searching for his sea boots.
"Agreed, and my name is James, by the way." James responded as he found his boots. "Ah, I knew they were here." James put on his sea boots, then stood up shaking a foot a bit trying to get used to the boots. "On to the Pearl?"
Jack nodded in response and they left for the Pearl. On the way to the Pearl, Jack picked up Mr. Gibbs, Mr. Cotton and Marty the Midget to watch the ship while the groom & groom's men drank.
10:30am
By the time they were there, Will and all his groom's men were waiting for Jack and James. Before the group of men boarded the infamous pirate ship, Jack addressed the men.
"Other than Will, the Commodore, and my three crewmen, how many of you have decent sailing experience?" Three out of the seven men said they did.
"Okay, eight men with sailing experience… those of you who don't have experience, do exactly what you are told. If you don't know how, ask one of those who have experience. Mr. Gibbs, you will be acting first mate. Commodore, Will, Gibbs, Cotton, Marty, if one of those four men who have no sailing experience need assistance, either help them or direct someone to help them. All right, with that said, lets get her ready to make way."
The group of men boarded the ship and they all began to make the ship ready to sail. Within a half an hour they were sailing to Tortuga.Jack had turned the wheel over to Gibbs.
"James! My cabin, now." Jack shouted as he walked down from the helm to his cabin.
James stopped what he was doing and followed Jack into the cabin. James saw that Jack was rifling through a sea chest at the foot of his bed. Soon Jack retrieved the articles of clothing he was searching for. Jack tossed a once white, now a tan/off-white colored tunic, a leather jacket, a pair of brown breeches, and a black belt to go around his waist to hold up his breeches, a tan and brown colored strip of cloth, and an old hat that Jack never wore. James looked at all the extra bits of clothes a bit warily.
"Is the hat, the jacket and this odd strip of cloth honestly necessary?"
"O' Course they are! Now go put it all on behind that changing scrim over there. I'll show ye what t'do with that 'odd strip of cloth' when yer done changin." Jack said.
James went behind the scrim and began to change clothes. He knew what the jacket and hat were for but wanted to wait to put that on until they reached Tortuga.
"Jack, what is this for?" James asked, holding the tan and brown strip of cloth in his hand, stepping out from behind the changing scrim.
"Well, it's t'go 'round yer head."
James put the strip of cloth on his head trying to put it on himself not really knowing how to tie it.
"Oh hell, stop." Jack said sauntering over taking the ends of the cloth out of James' hands. "Now go sit."
James did as he was told and Jack took the string holding James' hair back in a ponytail out. "Now shake yer hair out. Let it fall all messy an' such."
James shook his head like a dog trying to dry off then once he deemed it shaken out enough he stopped. Jack then tied the faded tan and brown strip of cloth around his head then plopped the hat on to James' head.
"Stand up. Le' me see if ye look presentable or not." James stood up so that Jack could get the full picture. Jack studied the look he created for James. "Good. Now back t' work ye scabrous dog." James shot Jack a glaring stare.
"Fer right now, yer not the commodore, yer a pirate and I'm yer Captain." James and Jack walked back to their respective stations and got back to work.
4 hours later - 3pm
"Welcome to Tortuga, lads!" Jack proclaimed once the Pearl was docked.
"Gibbs, Cotton, Marty, ye three are staying aboard t'watch the ship. If anybody attempts t'board me ship that's not already on board this very moment, don't hesitate t'shoot 'em. Whether you kill or wound 'em, I'll leave t'yer discretion. Oh, an' stay sober. Last thing I need is a couple o' drunks watchin' me Pearl. Gibbs, hand o'er yer flask. I trust ye wit' me life mate, but I don't trust ye not t'drink."
Mr. Gibbs sighed heavily, but complied with his captain's orders. "I'll give it back t'ya when we return. If I forget, tell me." Jack finished up his instructions with the watch party, then turned to the 'drinking party' as Jack dubbed Will and the groom's men.
"Now, gentlemen, this here be a pirate town, an' ye should act as if ye belong here. If not, they just might shoot ye where ya stand. Norrington, fer now, you're James Smith. Every pirate on this Isle knows who ye be an' I'll not ruin me reputation by me fellow pirates findin' out that I be consortin' with the enemy, as it were."
"Agreed." With that the group of men walked down the gangplank and towards the faithful bride. As they were walking, Jack offered his views on the Isle of Tortuga.
"It is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga, Savvy? What do you think?"
"It's still lingering from the last time I was here." Will answered. Jack smiled, and then turned to the Commodore.
"I'll tell ye mate, if every town in the world were like this one… No man would ever feel unwanted."
"I'm sure." James said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I knew ye'd agree." Jack said cheerfully leading the group of men into The Faithful Bride, Jack's favorite tavern. Will already knew the tavern well from the first time he was in Tortuga with Jack when he was going after Barbossa to rescue the woman he was set to marry the following day. Jack saw a large circular table in the central part of the tavern that would seat the group of thirteen men.
"Will, me boy." Jack started but noticed that Will was too focused on his surroundings. Jack said Will's name a few times, but soon grew annoyed.
"OY, WHELP!" Will turned towards Jack and looked at him funny. "Yeah, you, whelp, go fetch that table o'er there 'ave everyone take a seat. I'll be there in a moment, eh?" Will nodded and led the group over to the table Jack had pointed out. Jack on the other hand, went to the bar and leaned forward on counter with his forearms crossed.
"Hey luv." Jack said to the woman behind the bar.
"Captain Jack Sparrow!" The woman emphasized the Captain, knowing if she didn't remember to add that bit she'd never hear the end of it. "I haven't seen ye in what seems like ages. How've ye been? Any successful and profitable raids?" She said, giving him a mug of rum.
"I'm wonderful, Miche" Jack took a drink of his rum, then continued, "But you're getting a bit redundant. A successful raid is a profitable raid. And I've had a few minor successes but that's not why I'm here. Ye see that misfit group o' gents o'er there?"
"Yeah, wut about 'em?"
"They're with me, an' the reason they're here, is because we're 'avin' a good old fashioned Tortuan Bachelor Party."
"Well then! Drinks an' e'ry thing else is on the house." She told Jack, "Who be the lucky man?"
"You 'member Bootstrap Bill, God rest 'is soul?"
"O'course I 'member Bootstrap!"
"Then you 'member that son 'e was always talkin' 'bout, eh?"
"Aye… Where ye be goin' wit' this?"
"Ye see that whelp o'er there bout my height wit' the brown hair let loose an' the nice, well-kept goatee?"
"Aye…"
"That be the one an' only son o' Bootstrap Bill Turner. His namesake, William Turner the second."
"William Turner the second? The lad's not a high toned & fancy t'do is he?"
"No! 'Course not! The lad only be pirate by blood, o' course. By profession he be that of a blacksmith. He be marryin' Port Royal's Gov'nor's daughter on the morrow!"
"Really now, that's wonderful. I'll send one 'o the lasses o'er to serve yer drinks." Jack walked back over to Will & co. Then Michelle called out over the patrons of the tavern.
"LISTEN UP EVERYONE, I GOTS AN ANNOUNCEMENT T'MAKE!" Nobody paid attention to her. "IF Y'ALL DON'T SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION T'ME ANNOUNCEMENT THERE'LL BE NO MORE RUM FER ANY O' YE FILTHY DOGS!" That got the tavern's attention.
"That's better. Now All those who were friends o' Bootstrap Bill's or knew of him and had no animosity t'wards him may stay. Now, If any o' ye gots any sorts of animosity, or were an enemy o' Bootstrap Bill's I wantcha gone outta me tavern. Ye can come back t'morrow night, but spread the word that if yer an old enemy o' bootstrap ye better stay away from The Faithful Bride fer the next 24 hours. An' I know each an' e'ry one o' Bootstrap's enemies. So before I continue those who hold any sorts o' animosity t'wards Bootstrap leave right now. The drink yer drinking now is on me if it ain't finished." All of Bootstrap's enemies in the tavern got up and left, not wanting to feel the wrath of Michelle.
"Now… You all know Bootstrap Bill had a son, aye?" The crowd for the most part murmured yes. "Well, Bootstrap's son, Will Turner, is here for his bachelor party." The entire tavern broke up into cheers and a few of the patrons who considered Bill Turner a true friend went over to the lad and congratulated him, letting him know his father would be proud of him.
"Drink an' be merry! Fer the Bachelor's party, drinks're on the house! The rest o' ye scabrous dogs gotta pay up." Jack's eyes lit up with delight at the thought of all the rum he can drink for free. Jack looked down at his mug with a frown when he noticed it was empty.
"Me rum's gone." Jack pouted, then caught the arm of a barmaid.
"Ey luv, be a doll an' get me more rum an' I don't ever wanna see the bottom o' me mug, so keep it comin' lass." The barmaid rolled her eyes knowing Jack's love of rum.
"Ye got money t'pay fer this never-ending flow o'rum?"
"Did ye not just hear wut Miche said? It's on the house. I don't need money."
"She said it was on the house for the bachelor's party, not you."
"I am part o' the bachelor's party, the bachelor is me best friend's son, god rest ol' bootstrap's soul. Now go get me my rum an' quit bickerin' with me, woman." Jack said, slapping her arse when she hadn't moved. Jack laughed heartily when she jumped and squealed with annoyance. She soon returned with 3 pitchers of rum for the table, and then filled up Jack's mug along with the rest of the groom men's mugs. Jack was drinking the rum like it was water while the other men weren't quite that quick to drink.
8 hours later - 11pm
Everyone was loaded to the gunwales (meaning hammered, for you lubbers), Jack more so than the others. At the moment, the entire tavern finished a drunken rendition of 'A Pirate's Life for Me.' Everyone in the bachelor's party had a whore on their lap with the exception of Will, because whenever a whore came near him Jack would pull his pistol on her and tell her to leave him alone. The wench on James' lap was currently trying to negotiate her way into his pants. James wasn't offering up much resistance to the thought due to his current drunken state and the woman soon convinced him to go off to a room with her. Jack looked at James knowing what he was about to do, and laughed to himself at the thought of Commodore James Norrington with a Tortuan Whore, but his laughter was soon halted when the wench residing on his lap was yanked away from him by some unknown force.
"Jack Sparrow! You are a dirty, lying, disgusting, pig headed bilge rat!" said the unknown force, from a few feet behind Jack. Jack turned around drunkenly, and saw who the unknown force was. Scarlet came towards Jack, as Jack promptly hid behind Will.
"Step aside boy. I've got business with that scallywag hidin' behind ya like the coward 'e is." Scarlet demanded of Will. Will was going to move aside, but Jack held on to Will's arms at the elbows keeping Will in place.
"Jack, stop actin' like a eunuch an' come out from hidin'!" Scarlet demanded.
"No! Ye'll smack me!"
"No, I won't. I jus' want t'talk t'ye."
"Bout what?"
"Last time we were t'gether."
"I paid ye, I made sure I did."
"I know. Ye gave me double the payment."
"Fer the time before I didn't pay ye."
"I know. Come 'ere Jack." Scarlet purred and Jack obeyed. "I got somethin' else t'tell ye."
"Yes my pet?" Jack purred back. Scarlet grabbed Jack by the ear and yelled into it.
"Ye left me with more than just money, ye bloody buggering bilge rat!" Scarlet accused.
"Wha?"
"I gave birth t'yer child, ye moron!"
"Whadda mean 'me child'? How d'ye know it be mine?"
"Because, Jack," Scarlet seethed, "Ye were me last before me monthlies. After yer visit, I was due fer me monthlies an' it never came. It be yer's. An' I dun want it. I can't keep it an' still work any more. I'm givin' it t'ye, yer it's father. It's already 4 years old. I'm sure ye can find a decent mother figure for it. I sure ain't fit fer motherhood."
"An' ye think I'm a father figure? Ye think I'm fit fer fatherhood? Like ye said I'm nothin' but a scallywag, a pirate."
"Yer a better person than me, Yer a good man Jack. Ye can teach it t'be a decent person, t'be a pirate, a sailor, or what e'er yer heart desires. Ye'll make a wonderful father Jack."
"What d'ye mean 'it'? D'ye not know if th' child is a boy or girl?"
"It's a girl. I call er it cause she ain't got no name."
"Ye've not named 'er an' she's 4 years old?"
"I dun want her so I figured why do I gotta name her?"
Jack sighed annoyed, "Will ye want t'see her on occasion?"
"I dun know, I'll come find ye if I wanna see it, but don't ye dare try an' leave 'er here when ye set sail. It's yer problem now." Scarlet said as she pulled a young girl out from behind her skirts and pushed her towards Jack. The young girl looked terrified of Jack and backed up towards her mother, looking at her confused
"Momma…" the little girl started, when Scarlet cut her off.
"How many times I gotta tell ye not t'call me that? That man o'er there is yer father. Ye'll be livin' wit' him now. Go on, he's yer dad. He loves ye." She told the little girl, pushing her back towards Jack. "Don' ye Jack?"
"Aye, I luv ya."
"See… He loves ye an' he'll take care o'ye." Jack said as he lifted the little girl on to his lap and with that Scarlet left. Jack continued to drink as if the world was ending. Will just looked at Jack drunkenly, totally shocked by what had just happened.
"Yer a father?"
"Apparently so… MORE RUM!" Jack shouted over to the barmaid that was standing on the other side of the tavern.
Some time later James and his whore came back out into the Tavern both with very pleased smiles on their faces. Jack was still drinking and the little girl had gone to sleep at his feet under the table, holding on to Jack's ankle.
"Had yer self a bit o' fun James?"
"Oh yes. Indeed I did."
"Ye know, I think so long as yer drunk we could be excellent friends."
"Lucky for me, I don't drink all the time." All of the sudden they heard a thud on the table. Will, the last of the groom's men still up and drinking, other than Jack and James, had passed out cold. "Eh, 'e'll sleep it off." Jack continued to drink as if the rum was water. James had a few more mugs of rum through the night, nursing each one.
"Cap'n, 'ow is it that ye can drink so much as if it were water?"
"I'm Cap'n Jack Sparrow, mate. I know 'ow t'hold me rum, 'sides that, I stop drinking e'er once in a while t'let the rum get through me a'fore I continue."
"But why are you drinking like all the rum in the world will be gone tomorrow?"
"Because, mate, I'm tryin' t'forget the horrible news some wench came an' tol' me, but it ain't leavin' me brain."
"What did she say?"
Jack leaned towards James, and whispered in a drunken slur, "Th' one an' only Cap'n Jack Sparrow is, is gonna be a, Oh Dear God... I'm a fatha, an' the stupid bloody wench jus' dumped this little four year ol' girl in me 'ands, an' then the stupid wench walked 'way, never to see it again." Jack started to laugh like a maniac. "She expects me, ME to raise it. Can ye picture me wif a little tot? On the Pearl no less?" Jack laughed.
"Where is the little girl then?" James asked.
"Asleep, holdin' on t'me ankle, under th'table."
James looked down under the table and sure enough there was a small sleeping girl gripping the pirate captain's ankle for dear life. James didn't know what to say, even though he was still slightly drunk, he was still Commodore James Norrington, of the British Royal Navy. He never had to deal with such news in Port Royal. Having a child out of wedlock was just unheard of, not to mention socially disgraceful and heavily frowned upon.
Ok, Ok, I know, I know, weird twist... And I know what you all must be thinking... "Where the hell did she get that?" To be honest, I got that from the infamous mistake of when they listed a little girl as Jack's daughter when she was really just an extra… I blame the evil plot bunnies and my muses for using this information for the weird twist. Now for answers to reviews:
Celwriter - the M rating is not there for scariness, just inappropriateness and with some of the issues I'm choosing to write about I felt the M rating safer than T. It's strictly there as a way for me to be a bit more free with my writing.
RandomGal21 - yeah Anna's a bit harsh but it's the way I saw her, rough on the outside, but don't worry, she'll soften up… after 2 or 3 or… 15 bottles of rum in her system. lol.
jackslittlefriend - Ok, I've updated, now where's my chocolate?
Sunshine - so far my most loyal reviewer, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter as well. ;-)
And to my 2 newest reviewers:
Mrs. Sparrow - First off, love the name (lol) secondly, to answer your review: I have no clue how long I'm making this story... 20 chapters at the least… but probably more. I don't know where this is going, my muses just tell me what to write and I write it. Editing here and there, they tend to exaggerate and have dirty filthy mouths. It's been proving difficult to update due to school. Monday/Wednesday/Friday I'm in school from 11am - 6pm and Tuesday/Thursday I only have one class at 4:10 pm but the rest of my time is taken up with sleep, and homework.
Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon - I'm glad you love my story, how'd you like the bachelor party?
(Announcer voice) Next time on A Helping Hand... Elizabeth's bachelorette party and Anna Maria getting incredibly drunk and made to look all girlie. (Normal voice) I'm so evil... ah well, ye can't blame me… Pirate!
As Always... Take What Ye Can... Give Nothin' Back!
Mrs. Capt. Jack Sparrow