You tell all the boys "No"
Makes you feel good, yeah.
I know you're out of my league
But that won't scare me away, oh, no
You've carried on so long,
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
That no one could climb it,
But I'm gonna try.
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?
…
You let all the girls go
Makes you feel good, don't it?
Behind your Broadway show
I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"
You've carried on so long
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
That no one could climb it.
But I'm gonna try
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?
Clary wasn't sure what to expect when she got back to New York. Joy? Relief? But Clary was feeling the complete opposite. Dread coursed through her veins at high speed. Izzy kept talking a mile a minute about how she was so excited that Clary was back. Even though she tried, Clary couldn't focus on anything. Her eyes darted back and forth across the room.
How was she going to tell everyone that Jonathan wasn't dead? He wasn't in France with her. In fact, he wasn't in Europe at all. He was in none other than New York while the others 'rescued' her. It was a trap Clary didn't want to believe they had been stupid enough to fall for.
Now as Izzy glided around her room preparing to go to Pandemonium tonight. She had begged Clary to come but she refused.
"Please Clary. You know that Pandemonium helps clear your head. Just come for an hour. After that if you still want to leave we'll come back here, no questions asked." Clary looked at her parabatai. She wanted to go to Pandemonium but it was what Jonathan was expecting. He had told her before she went to Paris.
Clary visibly shuddered at the thought of Jonathan. He got under her skin like a splinter. He was nearly impossible to remove. In the month she had been with him, Clary had slowly started to understand why Jonathan believed certain things. Having nothing better to do, she spent the entire day either watching TV or talking to Will and Jonathan.
With Will she listened to him complain to her about Clary breaking up with him. He would talk about that and his family. How disappointed they would be; how he just wanted to see them again but he also knew he was disowned. Clary didn't really care for her ex but he made even her want to cry with his story. Clary was starting to blame it on the hormones. She had been crying like crazy and it was always for no reason. When she watched The Notebook it was just torture.
She had been scrolling through the pay-per-view and figured, Why not? It's just a movie. That just a movie turned into 27 empty tissue boxes and a red, puffy Clary. She had never got why Allie didn't just run away. Who could leave Ryan Gosling?
Anyways, whenever she was with Jonathan, he talked about his views. He believed the Clave was corrupt and that Downworlders weren't to blame. He claimed that he was smarter than Valentine because he trusted them. Eventually Clary would get bored and leave. She wondered if Jonathan knew that he had told Clary these things. If he did, she wondered if he realized how screwed she was.
"Clary!" A screaming voice pulled Clary out of her thoughts. Izzy was in front of her wiggling fingers mere inches from Clary's eyes. "Are you okay chica? I know you space out but seriously, they are getting worse. You might want to see a doctor about them." Clary got up from her spot on Izzy's bed and sent her parabatai an unladylike hand gesture.
She walked down the long hallway. After moving through the maze-like halls, she found herself in the kitchen. She pulled out a frying pan and set to working on some pancakes. Thirty minutes later she was sitting at the marble island eating a stack of flap-jacks. She had soaked the breakfast in syrup but it was nothing like the coconut ones at Taki's.
Clary had just finished cleaning her mess up when Jace strolled into the kitchen. He sniffed the air. "Pancakes. I smell pancakes Clary." Clary let out a chuckle and moved to hug him. Her hugs had become awkward with the growing stomach so she could barely wrap her arms around him.
"I made some pancakes. That's probably what you're smelling." He pulled away, looking at Clary with a hurt face. He let out a scoff and then leaned down to look her in the eyes.
"And you didn't make me any? Woman, sometimes I swear you are trying to starve me." She let out a giggle and nuzzled her head under his chin. She traced her fingers over a rune on his arms. She felt him tense up under her traveling fingers. Clary loved being able to do this to Jace.
She gave him a kiss on the cheek before Clary tried to leave the kitchen. He grabbed her wrist and pulled the mother-to-be towards him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. Clary constantly punched him with her small clenched hands but it seemed to not effect him at all. She gave up and he felt her go limp against him.
She looked up at his smirking face. "I'm not making you pancakes." He gave her a pouty face as he whined, "But I'm hungry!" she laughed and looked up at him.
"You are a big boy Jace. You should be able to make your own breakfast by now," she scolded. He let out a groan. "But Clarrrrryyyyy!" She laughed at him as he rolled her name out. It was as if he was a 6 year old boy and she was his mother. She tensed as the thought crossed her mind.
He felt her and suddenly all teasing was gone. "Clary, what's wrong?" She turned her head at him and smiled. She gave him a quick butterfly kiss on the nose before she ended up at the kitchen door. Clary gave him a shrug and a quick 'nothing' before she practically ran to her room. Clary pulled on some cozy Uggs and her pea coat. Tying her hair into a quick bun, Clary finished her outfit with a cozy scarf. She grabbed her purse and ran out of the Institute. There was nothing Clary hated more than barging into someone's home so she quickly typed the number into her pink phone.
A tired voice yawned as they picked up on the fifth ring. "Clary darling, this better be good. You just woke me and Alec up." Clary cursed under her breath. Of course Magnus would be with Alec. Instead of trying to muster a excuse, Clary headed over to a magazine stand and picked up any fashion ones she could find.
"I have the latest Vogue, Seventeen, Marie Clare, and Glamour." She heard him stand up. He seemed excited. "Get over here now," he barked at her. By the Angel, Clary muttered under her breath. Magnus could be such a teenage girl sometimes.
Clary sat in the armchair by the window overlooking the street. People scurried like little ants on the sidewalks. Magnus was on the loveseat muttering about how he didn't understand Ashley Greene's outfit at all. "I mean, seriously? This blue dress does absolutely NOTHING for her figure!" Clary nodded absent-mindedly. She continued staring at her friend and confidant as she sipped the tea Magnus had declared 'works wonders for the babies.'
He finally threw the magazine down on the stack. "Okay Clary, you have avoided it for a while now. What did you come here for?" Clary set down her tea cup and pretended to examine her nails. It was pointless. She had bitten her nails down to stubs. She looked at him with as much serenity as she could.
"Maybe I just wanted to catch up with an old friend." she gave up on her nails and went back to sipping the warm drink. Magnus gave her the once-over and then laughed. "You never come here to 'just catch up'," he said putting the air quotes around 'just catch up'. He picked up his coffee and moved to a seat near her. He sat down and they ended up just looking at each other for an awkward amount of time.
Finally he cleared his throat and stated, "I'm worried about you baby cakes." Clary involuntarily flinched at the nickname. She prayed to Raziel that Magnus did not see it. Unfortunately, he had seen her flinch. He smiled and it lit up his face.
"You have pregnancy jitters. I understand." She looked at him with what Clary hoped was a mask of confusion. Magnus started speaking and Clary gave up. It was obvious that it hadn't worked. "My little red-headed Barbie doll, you have nothing to worry about. It's just unborn babies. You'll be fine."
Clary's temper broke as she snapped at Magnus, "You would know all about being pregnant, wouldn't you?" she saw him slump in defeat and started regretting the comment. Magnus didn't deserve this. "I'm sorry Magnus. It's just that-," she paused taking a deep breath "-it seems that no one would understand how I feel."
She looked at his green-gold cat eyes and he softened. He nodded at her to continue. So she did.
"I'm only 19. I'm pregnant with twins and the father is a bipolar Casanova. I mean, honestly, can I count on him to not leave me once I give birth? You should have seen him when I told him the news. I could see the fear in his eyes. And now I'm getting fatter and I just am scared."
By the time she finished ranting, Clary was crying.
She really was worried that Jace would leave her after she went into labor. It was not the stupidest thing Clary had ever feared. Jace was a major player. And players like him didn't just suddenly change and settle down. They would have their fun and then left as soon as it got boring.
Magnus stood up and walked to Clary. She went into his embrace. Clary had no idea how long she stood hugging Magnus. Tears were dripping from her face onto his rainbow blazer. It felt like forever before he pulled away. "Clary, why don't you stay here today? You seem to be drained." Clary wiped away the tears as she nodded. She had only been up for at most three hours but she was extremely tired already. Clary grabbed her stuff from the chair and went into her bedroom. She had stayed over at Magnus' enough that he deemed it her room.
She laid down on the bed and went out as quick as a candle flame. For the first time in what seemed forever Clary slept amazingly. Her back did not ache and the babies didn't kick. She awoke to late afternoon sun. Reaching for her phone, Clary saw it was only four. Taking a deep breath she stood up and put her boots on. She finished getting her cold weather clothes on and went to say good-bye to Magnus.
She left the old warlock's neighborhood and headed to Williamsburg. She swung open the door to Luke's book was greeted by warm air and the smell of new, freshly printed books. It was strange how Clary could tell what books smelled like but she blamed it on growing up in this store. She walked up and down the aisles. She thumbed through a few books but made her way towards the counter.
She set down a maternity book in front of Luke. As always, he was reading. He put his finger up in a way of telling her to hold on. "I'll be with you in a second ma'am."
Clary laughed and looked at her father. "I would think that you recognize me Luke." He stared up from his book and smiled so wide it had to hurt. He then looked down at the book on the counter. His gaze moved from the book to Clary's stomach. "Is there something you're trying to tell me?"
It was Clary's turn to smile. Luke got off his stool and made his way to Clary. He gave the third bear hug she had received that day. She quietly laughed. How many hugs am I going to get today? Clary thought. Luke turned to look at her. "Who else has given you hugs?" She blushed as she realized that she had spoken out loud.
He lead her to some chairs in the corner. As she sat down he went off and made two cups of hot cocoa. He returned and Clary gratefully took hers. She drank the warm beverage. There was just something relaxing about Luke's cocoa. It made the gourmet cocoa she had in France seem cheap.
"Clary, you are getting seriously fat." Clary almost spewed the treat from her mouth. She looked at Luke with a shocked face. He was always so kind to her and the first time she sees him in forever he tells her that she is getting fat? So not cool. He let out a bellowing laugh. "I'm kidding Clary."
She still gave him a ice cold look. "That was not cool Luke. I just told you I was pregnant. I can't help it if the twins are making me fat." Luke drained of color and actually did spit his cocoa out. He gave her a disbelieving face as he stared at her perturbing stomach.
"Twins? What do you mean twins Clary?" Clary rolled her eyes at him. Leave it to Luke to not be able to understand to obvious. She gave him a gentle pat on the back. "I'm having twins Luke."
Yay for another chapter! This is the longest chapter by far and is actually my quickest update. And can I get an Awwwwww for the fluffyness at the beginning and the end? I realized my story seems like a soap opera and has zero fluff. I am a strong believer in that a story needs fluff or else it gets boring. On another hand, I have a few announcements for you wonderful readers!
1. I'm looking for a Beta- I need a beta for this because my auto-correct sucks and I keep making grammar mistakes as well. So please let me know if you are interested in being my Beta.
2. I'm writing another fanfic- I am sooooooo happy! I read The Kissing Dilemma by dayuuuumgirl and got special permission from her to write a spin-off fanfic! It will be published soon but I want to have the first few chapters ready first so that I'm not mixing it up with this fanfic. Let me know if you'll be reading it and if you haven't read The Kissing Dilemma, I highly suggest it. It is an *amazing* fanfic. I absolutely love it.
3. I sent some fanmail to Cassie a few weeks ago and she replied to me ^.^ I asked for a Southern US Institute because there has never been one mentioned and she told me that she would try to at least mention one in TDA if not have them visit it or something. I feel special!
4. I was mentioned on TMI Source! If y'all don't know what that is, TMI source is a super popular blog about of course TMI. I informed them about the mall of America appearance and they mentioned me in the post about it :) I feel soooooo special right now
Thanks to chrissy143, Storm Vampire, and BelievingInTrueLoveForever who added this story to their faves. You girls deserve some virtual cookies! (::) (::) (::)
Keep being awesome and review a tons! Xoxo, SexyVampireMojo17