Chapter 10: Not Alone

Four weeks ago I put my little girl in her bed, promising her that I would protect and keep her safe. It had been that long since I'd heard her voice, or seen her smile. It was maddening not to know where she was or what she was feeling, and it was my fault that I had not listened to what everyone else seemed to know. My baby girl had a premonition, one that had begun long ago, and something I myself had ignored because I didn't want to face Renesmee having one more thing that set her apart from the rest of us. I wasn't ashamed or angry that my baby girl had these abilities, more over I was worried what all of this would do to her. My daughter is too much like me, she worries about everyone in her life, what they think about her, and what effect she has on them by the things she does on a day to day basis.

Looking up at the night sky I could barely make out the stars through the trees where I had stopped running. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and I deserved that for allowing this to happen. The worst part was that we didn't have any leads. This werewolf and the people helping him had covered their tracks both in a literal sense and a figurative one. He could have taken Renesmee anywhere in the world, and the only place we were certain she was not, was in Volterra. Alice had kept constant vigil on each member of their coven and there wasn't anyone there taking an interest in my family.

A twig snapped, and I spun around dropping to the ground in a crouch a second before Bella's scent alerted me that it was her near by and not an enemy. By the time my wife got to my side, I was standing, my head tilted back as I once again gazed upward.

"Talk to me Edward," Bella pleaded, standing next to me without touching me. I hadn't allowed her touch in three weeks.

"What do you want me to say?" I finally asked still looking upward.

"Anything," Bella pleaded.

Her hand brushed over my own and I pulled it away, "How can you stand to be around me?"

"I love you," she whispered.

"Don't." Deep down I wanted her to love me, but not right now, not while I stood here for the failure I had become.

"We need you, I need you. Edward I can't go on like this. I want to find Renesmee. I know you do too. What Jacob said was just out of anger, and since when have you ever taken what he says to heart?"

Finally I willed myself to turn and face her. "We could have done more that day. He's right, all we had to do was call out for help. That Werewolf wouldn't have been able to change without the full moon, and on a dreary day like that," I ran my left hand through my hair, grabbing at it out of frustration as I had many times over the past few weeks, "I keep seeing your face when we realized that plane took off. I know I need to go back and plan but I don't know what to do now. For the first time in my life I have no idea how to do this."

My wife's face went from calm to angry in a flash. "Don't you dare give up on her, Edward. Our daughter is out there someplace, scared out of her mind, and we are going to start looking until we find her."

Bella turned and stormed away and all I could do was stand there and watch her go.

I'm not sure how long I stayed out there, but when I returned to the big house everything was silent. I entered through the garage door, walking through the kitchen when I heard Jacob moaning in his sleep. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I was compelled to go to him and wake him up.

The moment I reached the sofa where he was sleeping, Jacob sat up and began to shake. "Jacob!"

After a moment he came around, looking at me in confusion before he stood up shaking his head. "I had a dream about her, just now. She was crying for you," Jacob said while looking into my eyes.

I nodded and sat down on the sofa.

"Didn't you hear me?" Jacob asked in exasperation.

"Yes. I hear her too, but not in my dreams. I made a promise that was broken the moment the words were spoken, all because I didn't want to face Renesmee having one more ability."

The couch shifted and I knew it wasn't Jacob who was beside me. My wife's arm came up around my shoulder and I shut my eyes.

"Is that why you won't talk to us, why you keep leaving for days at a time?" Bella asked.

It was difficult for me to admit how much this was killing me. I was supposed to be the strong one, but right now I felt beaten down, like I had that time I left Bella for her own good. It all came back to how I was failing them, and at the same time how Renesmee was exactly like me, "I'm sorry." That was all I could offer her, all I seemed to be able to say these days while the rest of my family tried their best to figure out a plan on finding my daughter.

In a moment Bella was tugging my hand, and when I let her take it she pulled me to my feet, still stronger than me even after all this time. She said something to Jacob, but I wasn't sure what it was.

One moment we were in the big house, and the next at our cottage, standing at the entrance of what once was Renesmee's room.

"Do you know how much our baby loves you?"

I didn't want to acknowledge that, but Bella continued. "The first time I held her in my arms, she showed me all the things I'd missed while I was resting. The one memory Renesmee played over and over was of you humming my lullaby to her. You were the first one to realize that she could hear us before she was born, and I'll bet hearing your voice had a lot to do with keeping her calm until that day."

While Bella spoke those words, I recalled another time I'd shared with Renesmee, before my wife recovered, "Did she ever show you a time I took her out to sit by the river?"

My wife shook her head and I smiled. "It was after she and Jacob fed that bird. Renesmee wasn't happy about going back inside so I took her out there and told her how much I was looking forward to showing her everything."

Bella rested her head against my arm, but I pulled it away and wrapped it around her. "I helped Esme give her a bath, and held her while she slept as I watched over you."

"You need to stop trying to do this all on your own Edward. Jacob and Sam have been doing some research and I think there are some things they've discovered which might help us."

"Even after all this time together, it's still not easy for me to let go when life gets too difficult. I'm glad you aren't willing to stop loving me even after all of this."

Her small hand cupping around my chin pulled until I was facing her. This time she wasn't angry, but my words had hurt her. "You are my life Edward, and there isn't anything on this earth that will change that. I'm not giving up on you, don't you give up on me or our baby, we both need you, and we both love you."

Cupping my hands around her face, I brushed the pads of my thumbs over her cheeks. "I needed to hear that," I admitted.

"Then I'll say it as often as you need," she whispered.

I brought my head down and pressed my lips against hers, kissing her with gentle reverence, dropping my hands down to her shoulders.

Bella raised her arms, pressing her hands against my head as she deepened the kiss. I drank in her sweet taste, realizing that we both needed this time together to temporarily drown out the world and reconnect in the most primal of ways.

~*~*~*~*~

Refocused and ready to move heaven and earth to find my daughter, I held Bella's hand as we entered the house. Jacob was sitting on the sofa with Alice next to him, looking as desperate as I had felt just a few hours ago. "Jake, what did you see in your dream?" I asked.

I walked over to him, fully guessing that this dream had something to do with his imprinting on my daughter.

"It wasn't just seeing, I felt so sad, so lost and alone," he said as his voice hitched.

"Was what you saw concrete, or just dream state?"

"Some of it was. Wherever she is, it's dark and damp, like what she said. Maybe this is just my dreams taken from what she was seeing in Hanover."

I sat on Jacob's other side. "I think you are connecting with her. Do any of your elders know if that sort of thing is possible?" Something inside me came to life then, like this was somehow the answer to it all. Everything else in our world was more of a supernatural magic nature, so why not this.

"I'd have to ask," Jacob answered, still sounding puzzled and confused.

"Do you mind?" Bella asked. Hearing the hope in her voice seemed to move Jacob into action. He left the door open as he ran out of the house and after Alice shut it, the rest of my family came downstairs having heard what we were saying.

"If he can connect to her," Rosalie said sounding more alive than she had in weeks, "Do you really think that's what he's doing?"

Carlisle walked over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "It may not be that easy," he warned.

"Even if it's not, I need to quit pushing every one of you away. We need to start really looking."

"What about your house in Hanover?" Alice suddenly asked as her eyes lost their focus. When she came back to us, she was shaking her head. "I can't see. One of them has been there, or is still there now."

Before my sister could stop talking, Rosalie was on the phone with the airlines while Bella and I rushed to get what we needed for the return trip. My mind was racing while I raced to get my wallet and ID. Why would they go to the house, what more would they need?

"Her medicine," Bella gasped.

Leaving everything behind, and grabbing Bella's hand, I pulled her out the door. We could travel faster by land and there might be a chance, slim as it was that we would pick up on the werewolf's trail.

~*~*~*~*~

There had been nothing to stop our progress home. Even the rough weather we traveled through did nothing to keep us from pushing ahead. Under different circumstances, this might have been a fun journey to be on with the woman I loved, but as it stood we didn't have time to enjoy anything.

Bella and I crossed mountains, ran through forests and dry land all through the night. When we got closer to home, the smell of werewolf had faded, but wasn't completely gone, and Bella stopped running.

"We should try and follow his tracks."

"Right now we need to get home and see if there is anything else they took."

That Bella trusted me, gave me the strength I needed to push on. The sun was just coming up when we stepped into our back yard. What greeted us when we arrived sickened me and hurt more than anything I could have imagined. Harvey and Gracie had been left ripped open as a mockery, and I pressed my lips firmly together.

"How could they?"

"We don't have time to try and figure out their sick logic," I growled taking Bella's hand. We would take care of our daughter's friends after we went inside.

Inside was a mess of all the things we had collected as a family. The furniture was strewn all over the place, and those we could replace. What turned a sour note in both me and Bella was the state Renesmee's room was in. All of her figurines were smashed to bits. The drawings she had painted that once hung in frames on her walls were shredded to pieces. Her bed was the only thing untouched, but on it laid bits of black and white stuffing.

"Jack," Bella sobbed.

I pulled her into my arms, feeling the same pain she did. Renesmee already had so much on her plate and when we got her back there would only be more hurt.

"Why?" Bella asked, her voice shaking with anger.

"Maybe to mock us, but this might help," I said letting her go and getting on my knees. I began to sift through the glass and mess that had once been whole pieces of my baby girl's life. I drew in deep breaths of air both tasting and smelling the wolf that had done this.

As if my daughter's dream were somehow interwoven in all of this, I could smell dampness, dirt, and the scent of death, but something not freshly killed like Gracie and Harvey. This smell was much older, and reminded me of Volterra.

"What is it?" Bella asked as I stood up.

"Death, not Renesmee or even the bears, but something else," I answered, puzzled.

"Bells?"

"Up stairs Jake," my wife called over her shoulder.

I wasn't surprised when Jake entered and left all in the same movement, hearing his howl of pain not far from our house as he had changed into his other form.

In the kitchen all of the food was on the floor and the medicine we had kept stored extra in the freezer was all gone. They had originally come for that.

"Do you smell that?" Jacob asked a few minutes later as Bella and I began to clean up some of the mess.

"Death? Yes." I answered, tossing spoiled mean into the garbage can

"What do you think that is, is it one of the Volturi?" Jacob asked.

"No, not one of them, but I don't know what that means at this point."

Jacob shook his head about to help with the clean up but I put my hand on his shoulder. "Do you mind helping with Gracie and Harvey?"

He followed me out and Bella stayed behind.

"How is she going to handle all of this when we get her back?" Jake asked as I handed him a large shovel from the shed.

"By the time we get her back, we won't be coming here. I'm not sure what to do about these two," I said referring to the bears and what I would tell Renesmee when that time came. They hadn't been dead very long, but I had been right not to try and pursue the wolf at this point in time.

Just on the edge of our yard, Jacob and I dug a big enough grave for both bears and we gently laid them in their final resting place as best we could. I wanted the blood of the one who had done this to the bears, and one day soon that would happen. "What did the elders say?"

"They don't really know much about the other kind of werewolf, but my father and old Quil are going to go through some of the old stories to see if there is anything they missed."

I nodded as we shoveled the last of the dirt back into place. "Charlie hasn't asked anything?"

"No, Sue's been real good about keeping him busy; well really, Seth has been pretending to get into trouble so Charlie's kind of taken to spending time with him. Has Bella talked to her dad?"

"Just once, but she made it a quick conversation, saying Renesmee was calling her back out to the beach."

Jacob looked at me then, "I bet that was hard," he whispered.

I nodded, taking his shovel as we headed back to the house.

~*~*~*~*~

By evening's arrival, everyone in my family had arrived at our house. Emmett and Jasper had finished ripping apart the bigger pieces of furniture and had piled it all to the side of the driveway. We had people coming out in the next few days to do the repair work needed on this house and the one Carlisle and Esme had lived in. It too had been destroyed, and not by the same wolf. The fact that there was more than one was alarming, and if Renesmee was among a coven of werewolves she was in grave danger.

All of us had conferred about the strange smell of old death. It wasn't from another vampire, and didn't seem to be part of the werewolves' true smell.

Seated outside my house on the deck, I once again gazed up at the sky, seeing the stars, not impressed by them.

"Jacob talked to Old Quil," Bella said as she sat down next to me on one of the wooden benches.

"What did they find?"

"One entry about the True Alpha."

I looked at my wife, "Their Alpha?"

"No, there were all sorts of old legends, but one that talked about the Children of the Night. It said the True Alpha was not forced by a life taken, but was born to his life and calling."

We both sat quietly, and I tried to figure out if that was meant to be taken literally, or if it was just part of some higher meaning. "Did they know what that meant?"

"They have always thought of it in a more figurative meaning, that originally werewolves were supposed to be able to master their primal desires."

"From what Carlisle was able to find when he was with the Volturi, none of the Werewolves have ever had control. That is what brought Caius to destroy them."

"Edward, what if they can control themselves? We do, when most of our kind isn't willing to try. Why can't they?"

Bella had a valid point and I shut my eyes. If that passage was literal, did it mean there was one among them born into that life, like my daughter? I shook my head not even wanting to compare Renesmee to one of them.

When I opened my eyes I was on my feet, pulling Bella with me.

"Where are we going?" she asked as we entered the house.

Jacob was talking with Emmett, but they both stopped when we walked in. "What's going on?" Jacob asked.

"We are going to Europe, Oxford. I want to start looking in the library there and in all of the libraries in Europe if I have too. Bella and I believe that the passage found by your elders is literal."

Both of them looked at us in stunned disbelieve, but it was Emmett who quickly composed himself. "One of them was born?"

"Yes, and if that is so, it means he started all of it."

"How is that going to find Renesmee?" Jacob asked confused.

"If we can find anything about that, a place of birth, we might have a place to start looking."

"I'll go with you," Emmett said, always up for the next adventure.

"No, stay here for now. Look, when we get Renesmee back we need to have someplace else to live, she's going to need a stable place, and Bella and I don't have time to find one right now," I said as my wife squeezed my hand in support. It felt good to know she was with me, and that I wasn't really alone.

"What about the rest of the family?" Jacob asked, clearly not happy about staying behind.

"When we find something we will send for you Jacob, but right now I need you to do some more research around here. See if Alice will go with you to the Library of Congress. It's a long shot, but see if there are any legends about Werewolves that pertain to one of them being born into that life.

He nodded once before heading outside.

Upstairs Bella and I got what we could salvage together. I still had my credit card on me, and was fully prepared to forge what we would need for a trip to Europe.

Once we were ready we went downstairs finding everyone waiting.

Rosalie was hugging Emmett, but stepped away from my brother and came to me. "I'm sorry about being so mean hearted. I know you didn't have control over what happened that day."

Letting go of Bella, I reached out and hugged my sister. "I'll find her, Rosalie," I whispered before kissing her cheek and letting her go.

After hugging Esme and Alice, we went outside. Carlisle was waiting in his car and after we were in, he drove us toward town so we could by more clothes before we made a late night flight out toward Europe to hopefully find something to get us going in the right direction.

~*~*~*~

AN: Hey everyone, thanks for stopping by to read. I know there is alot going on, and some sad things you just read over. I really want Edward and Bella as well as the rest of them ready to kick some major butt when they finally meet up with Nicoli and his coven. Renesmee will make other friends and will recover, but this is all part of the story.

Maddy, I tried to hold true to my promise for Edward, I hope you like this chapter for that reason.

I'm also working on Jacob's imprinting and his connection to Renesmee.

I can't promise every chapter to have a happy moment, but there will be a happy ending eventually.

Thank you to all of you for reviewing and reading, and a huge thank you to Mac for another fabulous Beta.

~Ella~