I am so uninspired for this now that I've finished through five and sneak-peeked at six. If Cas doesn't get redeemed, I will hate life. ;-; Dean just keeps getting betrayed by the people he loves, it's heart-wrenching. I suppose that puts this story after Cas becomes 'god' under the assumption that they had fled. Bwah. I really wanna write on post season 6. As in. Pertaining to Cas' ascencion. But we'll see. XD Agh. Destiel is win, but their bromance is pretty awesome too. And Wincest. Wincestiel, anyone? XD *babbles on* Anyway, if I had known then what I know now, there would have been more angst-ful reminiscing and such. Dean-angst and Sam-Hell-angst XD So...I'll go ahead and tie in a little something to explain the lack of it later because I'm OCD like that. XD Agh. Writing this is killing me. I can't get into it nowww. I've spoiled it for myself. *tries to fight the angst* XD
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"Huh. Looks pretty boring to me." was Dean's assessment of Quiet Oaks College as Sam parked the Impala and the two headed for the entrance. At least, until he saw a young girl holding the hand of a mother, apparently escorting an older child to their dorm, and he flashed her a winning smile. "Might not be so bad." he amended, and the girl flashed him a shy smile back that caused him to grin until Sam thwacked his head.
"Settle down, Romeo." Sam rolled his eyes. Dean wasn't nearly the womanizer as a boy that he would later become, he'd been too busy...looking after the family, but that didn't mean he didn't still have certain...charms. As Sam had reluctantly been forced to admit after seeing his big brother charm just about anyone (especially girls) out of just about anything.
He'd thought it over and decided on being a reporter from two towns over as his cover, researching the budding disappearances in association with that original one. An officer would have been preferred, but he couldn't explain away taking his little brother on the job as an officer as easily as he could as a reporter. "Remember, Dean, you let me do the talking, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah." Dean agreed a bit annoyedly, but he didn't have much of a choice if he was to be able to stay with Sam and 'not get in the way'. "Just don't screw it up." he added for good measure and he gave his little brother a lofty look as if to assert his big brotherly dominance despite, or rather, because of the situation.
Sam simply gave a faint shake of his head as a reply as he found his way to Angela Adam's classroom after being directed by the main office. He found a moderately attractive woman at work grading papers and he coughed to alert her to his presence.
"Yes? Can I help you with-" she looked up to see Sam and paused before she finished, "-something?" The woman's eyes roved over Sam quickly before she met his gaze and rose, and Sam wondered why it was that older women seemed to find him so attractive. At least she wasn't groping him. Or Dean, for that matter.
"I'm hoping so." Sam adopted a friendly tone and smile as he moved to introduce himself and Dean stuck close by his side. "My name is Davis Walters, I'm a reporter for the Sun Times over in Wethersfield. This here is my little brother," at that, Dean scowled, "Kyle. I was wondering if you could help me out on a story I'm writing."
"Oh?" she shook his hand. "I see...well, what sort of story are we talking about?"
"The disappearances around this school." 'Davis' supplied and the woman stiffened a bit before she inclined her head.
"I suppose...that it would be a newsworthy topic. But I'm afraid I don't know much. Students have left and not returned, it's very hard on all of us."
"I'm sure it is, and I'm sorry to pry. Is there anything at all you've noticed? Any small detail?"
"...There's nothing I can think of. The girls were all well-liked, it's a tragedy." Angela said quietly and she gave her eyes a quick swipe and coughed.
Sam gave her a pitying look that held sympathy he didn't truly feel before he asked. "How about ten years ago...I heard that you might know about a girl who disappeared then...Moira Jameson?"
"Who sent you?" Angela suddenly asked as she stared at him with wide eyes before she caught his confused look and settled a bit. "That is..."
"Just heard it around town, that you and she used to be friends...it was the best lead I had...if you could tell me anything..."
"It was a long time ago. I don't really remember...I'd forgotten about it until you brought it up."
"Even with all the other disappearances?" 'Davis' queried.
Angela gave him a sharp look. "It's been ten years...look, as I've said, this is a difficult time...I think it's time for you to leave."
"Ah, I'm sorry if-"
"-It's no trouble. Just-"
"Can we stay here?" Dean piped up suddenly, and both Sam and Angela fell silent as they regarded Dean who tugged childishly at Sam's shirt, much to the other's bewilderment.
"Huh..?"
"I like this school! I wanna go to this one! She's pretty!" he pointed to Angela in a hushed whisper as he gushed like a child.
Sam knew instantly that Dean was using a con, and a mixture of agitation and the urge to be impressed by his devious little older brother came over him. But there was no way that the con would fly, what ten-year old talked like that anyway...
"Your brother is sweet." Angela nearly cooed as she smiled, a bit flushed, and Sam fought the urge to let his jaw drop.
Dean buried his face in Sam's side a bit, shyly, and Sam could see her all but melt. How the Hell did his brother pull that one off?
"Yeah...sweet." Sam agreed as he set a hand on Dean's head and ignored the fact that it was somehow strangely...nice to have Dean all taking refuge against him. Aside from the fact that it was a con, Dean was his older brother, and there was entirely too much going on for that to be even mildly permissible as a thought. "My brother has good taste." Sam added suddenly as he recalled how she'd looked at him upon his entrance and by some unnatural miracle, she flushed again and tilted her body to the side a bit, coyly.
"You're too kind."
"Just honest." In a really not honest kind of way. "Well...I guess my brother and I will leave now, sorry to have taken your time..."
"O-Oh...well...I'm not as busy as I thought, if you wanted to stay a bit longer..."
Sam offered her a reluctant look, as if he didn't want to leave either before he shook his head. "I've got to finish my article...and if you don't know anything..."
Angela hesitated a moment before she blurted out. "I...remember Moira...I might be able to tell you a few things, if you stuck around..."
Sam stared at her in surprise before a covert pinch from Dean brought him back to his senses. Was he missing something, or had a ten year old just manipulated the situation better than him?
"Please, Davy!" Dean tugged on his shirt and cast another shy glance at Angela, who was more receptive to Sam due to Dean's apparent affection for her and the fact that it made Sam look rather...sweet.
"Well, if I won't be taking up too much time..."
"Not at all!" Angela said dismissively as she came around to lean against her desk and Sam didn't miss the faintly suggestive movement of her legs. "So being a reporter...that must be exciting?"
Sam fought the urge to leave while Dean hid a smirk at his side. "It can be...but we were going to talk about Moira?"
At the mention of Moira, Angela seemed guarded again and she hesitated between her apparent desire to keep Sam around and her reluctance to speak of her. Finally she said. "Moira was...I was her best friend. She wasn't well-liked...she was considered 'odd'. A lot of people thought she worshipped the devil...which was ridiculous, but..." Angela shrugged as though it was beyond help. "One night...she just...went out and never came back."
"And no one saw anything?"
"...No. It was much like these disappearances...but they couldn't possibly be connected. That was ten years ago." Angela said with a frown.
"It's just something I was asked to look into." Sam explained. "Did Moira have any other friends, any at all?"
Angela hesitated before she shook her head vehemently. "No."
Her denial and behavior rang all sorts of alarms for Sam. "Are you sure? No friends, not even a boyfriend...?" The way Angela stiffened told him that he'd guessed correctly. "I just need a name, Angela, please...I really need this story...I would never reveal you as a source, and I'd be really grateful." he flashed her a smile.
Angela hesitated before she bit her lower lip. "And it would be between us?"
"Of course."
"James Holliwell. On and off. Moira wasn't...well...James was..."
"Yes?" Sam prompted.
"He liked her more than...she liked him...but he was devastated after her loss..."
"And do you know where I could find him?"
Angela hesitated again before she muttered. "He works at an auto-shop on Mayfair street, the Raceway."
"That's great...Angela, thank you for your help...if you think of anything else, give this number a call..." he handed her a slip of paper.
Angela blinked and then smiled coyly at him. "Very smooth, Mr. Reporter." she all but purred and Dean hid a snort of laughter with a cough.
"And you're welcome back any time, cutie." she said as she pinched Dean's cheek and this time, it was Sam who had to hide a smirk as Dean flushed and took an uncomfortable step back.
"Erm...thanks.." he muttered, embarrassed before he turned and made his way out of the room, followed by an amused and similarly embarrassed Sam. Angela had been hiding something and reluctant to name James as Moira's boyfriend, and her behavior...why should something that happened ten years ago upset her so?
Unless she had something to do with it.
...
Back in the Impala, Dean smirked triumphantly at Sam. "You don't havfta thank me, Sammy. I know you couldna done it without me." he said, smug as he snuggled his back against the seat and flashed his smirk at Sam.
Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes yet again. "'She's really pretty'? Laying it on a little thick there, huh, cutie?" Sam couldn't resist taunting the other a bit and Dean flushed again as he glared faintly before he looked away.
"A-At least it worked! And don't say that!" Dean demanded, embarrassed again. Being made fun of by his own little brother...what was the world coming to? "I helped you." he muttered.
Sam paused long enough to consider that, and to consider Dean's view on the situation before he reached his hand over to ruffle Dean's hair lightly. It was a patronizing gesutre, sort of, but it wasn't intended as such. He couldn't help it, not with Dean the way he was. "Yeah, you did. Thanks, bro." he praised and he saw Dean light up and smile before he put on his 'cool' reserve and settled for something smug although he was clearly fighting a happier grin.
John had never been big on praising. You did it right, or you did it again plus overtime and a possible butt-kicking. There was no 'good job', it was 'do it right, or else'. So he supposed that Dean was eager to be of use, and that, yes, even a few simple words of praise would light the other up like a Christmas tree, as he'd just noted.
"So...we're going to that guy's place next?" Dean queried, unintentionally breaking Sam from his thoughts as the latter switched gears and started driving.
"Yup. Angela was hiding something, we'll see if James was doing the same."
"You think he offed her? Maybe Angela helped?"
The matter-of-fact way that Dean spoke of it bothered Sam and agitated him more than he cared to dwell on. Lest he hunt down his father's spirt and beat him soundly. For a ten-year old to be so stoic and casual about murder...he knew full well that Dean wasn't as nonchalant as he pretended. Far from it. Dean was a wellspring of emotion when one hit the right buttons...but at the same time, he was definitely desensitized to the whole thing. And it bothered him that his big brother had gone through that. Sam had too, but never as severely as Dean had. He recalled Dean being woken up at four or so in the morning to train while Sam was left to sleep, he recalled Dean's tale about the shritga and their father not looking at him the same, the way Dean held their mother while she cried over John. Dean hadn't had a childhood, not even before their mother died and he'd just sort of taken it for granted. Dean was strong. Dean was his big brother. Dean was just like John.
But that wasn't true. Like Dean had said, Sam was more like John and he couldn't deny that. Dean had been raised hard but he was softer than he showed and Sam...he'd been (compared to Dean) relatively pampered as a Winchester boy could reasonably be but he'd turned out chillingly. Not that the demon blood hadn't helped but still...all the sacrifices Dean made, all the pain he'd endured, his miserable life, shrugging one responsibility for the next...
Sam had thought about it before but never so clearly as now. As now that he, with all of his knowledge, got to see Dean as he was.
"Sam? Earth to Sam, come in Sam." Dean prodded and Sam blinked as he realized that he'd missed out on answering Dean's question.
"Uh...maybe."
"'Uh, maybe'? Where's your head at, man? You're acting so weird.." Dean complained as he shook his head and looked out the window.
Sam eyed his brother with a troubled frown before he forced himself to focus on the road and the mission. "Maybe I'm just too old now." he muttered, more to himself. But luckily Dean mistakenly interpreted as a smart-ass comment and scoffed.
"Old and a giant. But it's not your fault you're a freak, Sammy. Don't worry. I still love ya." Dean teased, his smirk returned.
Sam felt a catch in his throat at those words. That was right, he had almost forgotten. Dean and he, Dean especially, had never been exactly the touchy-feely types. But as kids...they'd just been so close, things like the 'love' word just came out naturally. Hell, sometimes they couldn't even sleep without saying their proper little goodnights. And hearing Dean say something like that now...it wasn't that it made him nostalgic, per se, but still...
"I love you too, Dean." Sam felt the words push past his lips from some long untouched portion of his heart and they bubbled up somewhat miserably, caught in his throat. How long had it been since he'd used those words in a sentence? Since Jessica? And now they'd gone and slipped out because...Dean had gotten cursed? What the Hell was wrong with him? It wasn't that it was a lie, or wrong, but...suddenly he was all emotional? Had he gotten a little curse of his own without knowing, or was seeing little Dean really that much of an eye-opener?
Dean stilled then to look at Sam in concern as he finally realized that something was up. "Sammy? What's wrong with you?" he leaned forward in his seat to stare at his brother with a frown.
"Nothing, forget it." Sam tried to dismiss it but he knew better and sure enough, Dean smacked his arm.
"Hey, stupid! Tell me what's wrong!" Dean glared. "Quit actin' like you're grown up or somethin'. I don't care how old you are, you're my little brother so quit being weird and tell me!" How much simpler Dean made things, as opposed to older Dean who's idea of comfort was telling Sam to shut up and not get emotional while he used some Dean-ish effort to comfort him. Like a beer. Or crappy jokes. Damn he missed those right about now.
"I missed you. That's all." Sam finally admitted and he wasn't even sure why. There was some turmoil of emotion in him that he couldn't explain. Something that felt loose, and broken, and that felt the better for Dean's presence. But hadn't it always been that way, Dean comforting him?
"Missed me?" Dean's brow furrowed. "Did I go somewhere?"
"...Things are different when we're older, Dean."
"Different how? I thought you said we were still...y'know...close and stuff.."
"We are." Sam reassured him. "But we're..." What could he say? They had next to nothing in common? Hell, if Dean had been a student he'd met at school, he'd had proverbially turned his nose up at Dean. Not to be an asshole, but Dean was kind of an asshole, and Sam was...a 'nerd'. Dean was morally slanted and Sam was-or at least, had been-morally upright. Growing up, they'd not had much chance to be too different and back then, it had been Sam clinging to his big brother. But now? "We like different things." he finished lamely.
Dean stared at him as if expecting more and when nothing came, he prompted. "So...what? I like red and you like blue. I like ACDC and you like Moz-...whatever that dude's name is...I like coke and you like pibb...this isn't new stuff. What's your point?"
"It's complicated." Which was the wrong answer.
If looks could melt flesh, Sam would be a puddle of goo. "Say that again and I will kick your butt, Sam. That's how crappy adults lie. I'm not stupid. Tell me what you mean." he demanded.
Sam didn't see a way out of this, or a suitable lie, but the truth...? "I guess...I've just missed you like this..."
"Like what? Little?" Dean was puzzled now and a bit affronted, it seemed.
"...Happier." Sam relented and gave a partial truth. Child Dean had been, although not the typical happy child, happier. More open. More affectionate. Less cool-guy and more cool-big-brother. Sam had reveled in that in the wake of their father's less-than-affectionate nature, until he'd gotten older and taken it for granted. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it until he and Dean had started hunting together, not at first, not reeling from Jessica...but later...and when he'd nearly lost Dean, well that had brought the point home. Sam needed his big brother, point of fact. And Dean needed him...or rather, had been convinced that he did. Dean's whole outlook on life revolved around taking care of his family, which wouldn't be so bad, if he didn't exclude himself in the equation.
"...So I'm not happy?"
"It's not that..it's just...a lot's happened, Dean. It was hard on all of us."
"Like what?"
"Just...stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"Stuff, Dean!" Sam snapped, and he regretted it instantly. Dean recoiled and gave his brother a deep frown before he looked away and stared out the window in silence.
"Dean..."
No response.
"Dean...I'm sorry I snapped at you."
No response.
"Dean?"
After a moment's pause, Dean mumbled. "It was really bad, huh? That's why you won't tell me...was it...my fault?"
Sam's jaw clenched as he struggled to find the right answer. Why the Hell had he thought his brother's childish state wasn't all that bad again? "No...it wasn't...nothing was your fault, Dean." Excluding Dean's going to Hell. And a few other little things. "You'll remember when you're big again, but right now, just...let it go, Dean. Please."
Dean fell silent again before he nodded and stared down at his feet instead and Sam bit his tongue. What could he say now anyway? This whole situation was strange enough without the nagging feeling that something was missing bugging him. And the emotional roller-coaster he was dealing with with his brother, both as an adult, and as a child, well what was the source of that? Were they really just that tense? And what if the thing that attacked Dean came back? He couldn't really protect himself as a child...
"Sam."
Sam's gaze slipped from the road long enough to catch sight of his brother's blank expression as Dean regarded him.
"If you don't wanna talk about it, then fine. But quit worryin' about it, 'kay? Whatever's wrong...we'll fix it together...or somethin'. But quit being so moody. It bugs me." Which was Dean's way of saying that he was worried and he didn't like seeing his brother looking upset.
Sam smiled faintly and reluctantly pushed away those thoughts. It wasn't good to dwell on them but he needed to be prepared, he needed to reason things out, he needed-
"Sam." Dean's voice was annoyed.
"Sorry. I'm good. Focused." he amended.
Dean huffed a bit but relaxed a little anyway. After a moment, he said softly. "Hey, uh...you know I...you know. Loveyoutooright?" the words came out rushed and Sam's brow furrowed.
"I...love you too." Dean rushed the words a bit. It wasn't as easy to say them to his big little brother as it was to his clingy little baby brother. But he felt that he needed to say it because he...knew, just knew Sam was feeling worse than he was saying. Call it big brother instinct, but there it was.
Sam stared at him so long that he almost hit the car ahead, until Dean shouted, "Watch the road, dummy!", and Sam slammed on his breaks just in time.
"You get a scratch on her and so help me, Sammy..." Dean warned, sounding much like his older self in that instant.
Sam finally smiled in earnest, small though it was as he responded to the last bit and ignored the car bit. "I know you do. But it's still nice to hear it, definitely makes me feel better. Thanks, big brother." he used the title on purpose.
Dean's cheeks darkened a bit between pleasure and brotherly embarrassment as he mumbled, "Yeah, well...s'my job." Dean seemed to bask in the moment even as he shifted uncomfortably before he reached for the radio and ACDC came blasting out. Dean seemed almost relieved and let the music fill the car before he leaned back and began singing along, and Sam fought between a smile and a loss of focus again.
"C'mon, Sammy! We're on the Highway to Hell! Dun dun dun! Highway to Hellll!" Dean grinned when Sam gave in and began singing along, and the tension in the car eased.
But it didn't dispel the ominous feeling in the air, or Sam's misgivings, the sense of something just beyond his reach.
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I considered putting the visit to James in here as well. But I thought this was a good end-spot, also opposed to the end of the meeting with Angela being the end spot. Didn't mean for all the emotional stuff to pop out, but it did, and hopefully it was well-enough explained (while maintaining mysteriousness) XD It's not out-of-character! Really! There's logic to this madness! Maybe. XD Ah well, I tried. And yay for Highway to Hell foreshadowing-ish! XD~and this being the longest chap I've done in awhile! XD~