CHAPTER NINE
The Doctor looked up as the door opened and Charley stepped inside, dropping a duffel bag to one side and suitcase on the other. She closed the door behind her before heaving a sigh and pushing a hand back through her hair, eyeing the bags.
"Is that everything?"
She didn't seem startled by his voice. In fact, she didn't even turn. Not immediately, anyway. She was still facing the door as she answered, "Yes."
Wary of initiating any further conversation, the Doctor simply began the dematerialization sequence. Coordinates were already set; it was only a matter of pressing a few buttons and then listening to the smooth vwooorp!of the Tardis engines.
Finally, Charley turned around. "Doctor, I'm sorry."
Somehow, he'd known that was what she was going to say. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it or if it was the last thing he wanted her to say. With apologies came discussion. With discussion came pain. He wasn't sure he was ready to face that yet...
"I suppose you're right." She walked crossed acrosstoward the console slowly, hands deep in her pockets. "I'm not a very good liar. I'm no good at hiding how long these years have been, how much they've changed me. And maybe you are. Or maybe nothing's happened in your life; I don't know. But it doesn't matter. That comment about C'Rizz wasn't fair. And anyway, C'Rizz isn't the issue. The issue is me."
He kept his gaze on anything but her as she paused beside the console, withdrawing her hands from her pockets to hug her arms across her chest.
"I'm different, Doctor," she confessed quietly. "There are parts of me now that you wouldn't like. I don't know if I can change them, or even if I want to. They're part of what's kept me safe. And I have to think of Julia now."
"Who is Julia?"
The question clearly caught Charley off guard. For a moment, she just stared at him. He stared back, not bothering to repeat. She'd heard him. She would either answer, or she wouldn't.
"She's my daughter."
"Is she?"
Charley's posture straightened as a note of challenge crept into her tone. "Why don't you ask her?"
"Who's her father?"
"Isn't that a bit personal?"
"She's not human, Charley."
For a moment, Charley didn't respond. She was studying him, evaluating him as if she were trying to determine just how much he knew. "What makes you say that?"
"Because she's talking to my Tardis," the Doctor answered simply. "Listen."
Startled, Charley listened. He couldn't be sure if she could hear it - if she could feel it. It wasn't a conversation to be heard with the ears. It was a whisper in the silence of the soul - the inflection of a tone, the emotion behind a word. The Tardis was humming with energy, and it wasn't because of him. In all of the years and all of the people he had brought into this Tardis, he had never felt her react quite like this.
"Not many races in the universe can do that, Charley," he continued quietly. "Even fewer who appear to have a basically human form."
"So what if she can?" Charley replied, her voice wavering just slightly. "She's... unique. But she's still my daughter. She's... Just look at her! She looks just like me!"
"Who's the father, Charley?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business. After all, it's certainly not you."
The steadiness of his gaze must have made her give that statement a second thought. Her eyes widened. "Doctor! You can't seriously think..."
"I'm asking," he clarified.
"What would it have been, immaculate conception? We never... you know..."
"Oh, I know, Charley. But I have no memory of the time you spent with the other version of me."
"The other you!" She seemed well and truly mortified by that thought. "Doctor, you must be joking! Besides, wouldn't she have some sort of Time Lord stamp on her forehead that only you and your people could see? For that matter, wouldn't I? I mean, that's why we never did that, isn't it?" There was a mocking anger in her tone as she continued. "Too dangerous, you said. Too embarrassing if any of your people ever saw me."
"That's not what I said," he corrected, his voice low and even.
"No, but it's what you meant." Her anger was mounting, her words more bitter and accusatory by the second. "I'd be 'imprinted' with your... whatever it was! Your people would be able to tell, and you didn't want to have to explain it. Might tarnish your image..."
"My image has been tarnished a thousand times over," he answered, eyes narrowed. "And anyway, what does that have to do with my question?"
"Because you didn't 'imprint' me, Doctor. You have no rights to me or to my daughter or -"
"Rights?" the Doctor cried, confused. His frustration was growing. "I'm not claiming any rights; I'm just trying to helpyou!"
"- or to any information about either one of us!"
They stood still, staring at each other for a long moment. Finally, the Doctor sighed, raising a hand to cover his eyes as he shook his head and turned away. That conversation had disintegrated fast, and she hadn't really answered his question. The child wasn't his; she had a fair point that he would've been able to tell if she'd had intercourse with a Time Lord - any Time Lord. She hadn't. But she wasn't wearing the imprint of any other species either. Which only meant that the father was from a species that wasn't biologically inclined to mate for life, the way Gallifreyans were before they'd been introduced to the concept of regeneration. And, of course, back when they still mated...
He sighed as he turned back to her. "Charley, I'm not trying to invade your privacy. But it is important that I understand what she is if I'm going to help."
"She's my daughter," she growled, eyes on fire. "And she doesn't need your bloody help."
"Fine!" Exasperated and tired of this game, the Doctor turned away from her. "So what do you want? Next stop, edge of the universe?"
The time rotor whirred to life as he flipped the dematerialization switch, plunging them into the time vortex. The tense silence lingered for a long moment before she sighed deeply and ran a hand over her face.
"Look," she said quietly, "I'm sorry. But I'm angry with you. I'm really, really angry with you right now."
"So I see. But what I don't understand is why?"
"Because you - " She took a deep, calming breath to control her tone before she continued. "You made me live for so long thinking you were dead. So long without anyone to rely any hope of seeing you again. And then you show up again all smiles and excitement like nothing's changed and start interrogating me about who I've slept with!"
He stared at her. "Charley, I couldn't care less who you've slept with! All I wanted to know is what species Julia is!"
"And that's precisely my point!"
He stared at her, completely confused. A thousand or so years of watching these humans - and women in particular - and he still could not grasp even half of the drama they concocted. There weren't even words to describe his confusion. He just stared.
She closed her eyes and blew a long, slow breath out before opening them again. "Things have changed, Doctor. So many things have changed."
"Yes, I know. Things have changed for me, too. More things than you could possibly imagine, in fact. But some things haven't changed."
"You're going to tell me you love me, aren't you?"
He blinked, startled by the question and even more by the cold, unfeeling look in her eyes. He opened his mouth to reply, but had to close it again before he found words.
"Well?" she prodded, folding her arms over her chest and watching him coolly. "Go on, then."
He drew in a deep, slow breath, and considered for a long moment how to answer that question honestly before he took an equally long time to decide just how honest he wanted to be.
"Charley, I told you a very long time ago," he finally answered, a bit haltingly, "I don't fall in and out of love. Not in ten years, not in a hundred, not in a thousand. I loved you then, and I love you now. And that doesn't change, whether you're here or you're gone. Someday you'll die and I'll never see you again. And I'll still love you every bit as much as I did the first time I kissed you. That's why I don't fall in love, Charley; that's why..."
He stopped himself before he bared his soul any more to her cool gaze, and turned his attention back to the console, setting coordinates to real space, but nowhere in particular. Better just to drift until he had some idea of where he was going.
"I live every moment now for what it's worth," he continued flatly, closing up the gaping, vulnerable hole he'd left in his defenses. "Because there's no way to live this life without accumulating regrets just as fast as I can accumulate the good memories and experiences that go with them. There's no getting around that."
"Is that what I am, then? A regret?"
He sighed deeply and muttered under his breath. "Vapor of vapors, all is vapor..."
"What?"
"No." He spun to face her. "But there's not a day that goes by when I haven't second-guessed the decision to just let you walk away. And I have no idea what you've been through with Julia, but I should've been there a hell of a lot earlier than I was. And I regret that. I'll always regret that."
Her eyes softened just slightly, but he turned away again before her posture slackened. "I've always regretted walking away," she finally admitted, quietly. "Not a day went by when I didn't wonder what would've happened if I'd just stayed in this blasted box. If I'd have thought for a second that you were still alive..."
He dared a quick glance at her as she trailed off, shaking her head and laughing tightly.
"Though there was always that part of me that was afraid that even if you were alive, you wouldn't want me back."
"That's a cop out," he answered quickly. "And you know it."
She blinked, startled. "What?"
"I don't remember what kind of relationship you had with my former incarnation, but I know he wouldn't have kept you around if he didn't want you there. And we both know that when you wrote that letter, you expected me to come looking for you. That's why you specifically told me not to."
Her eyes turned cold again, and her shoulders moved back. "I don't mean you, the Doctor, I mean youyou. And as for that stupid letter, I wrote that right after I walked away from you. If I had been taken back to Singapore after that explosion instead of some beach, I guarantee I would've torn it up!"
"Yes, but you weren't. And I suppose that's my fault, too."
The sudden, unexpected jolt rocked the Tardis and elicited a wounded whimper from the otherwise steady time rotor. Gripping the edge of the console for balance, Charley looked up at the Doctor with wide eyes as he fought to regain his footing.
"What was that?"
"That, Charley -" he was reaching for the scanner controls as he answered her, "- was something very not-good."
*X*X*X*
The little girl sat bolt upright in bed with a gasp, clutching her chest as she winced in pain. "Oh! Oh, that hurts! Are you alright?"
There was a long silence before the reply came this time. I am alright. Don't worry about me, my Julia. I am quite well.
"Do you need help? I can help, you know."
Please, stay where you are. It is safer for you here.
"What about my Mum? Is she safe?"
Don't worry. She is with my Doctor. She is perfectly safe.
Ignoring the warning to stay put, Julia turned and set her feet on the cold floor just as another powerful explosion shook the walls around her. Pain seared through her tiny frame, and she cried out as she stumbled to the door. "Please! Please open!"
But the door did not open.
Eyes closed, she pressed her hand against it and gasped. "Oh! You're hurt!"
Please, Julia, do not waste your strength. I am infinite. I heal myself.
"But you're in pain."
It is not too much for me to bear.
The words fell on deaf ears. Pressing her body tightly against the pockmarked wall just to the right of the door, the little girl shook as she felt the Tardis absorb another burst of pain. After only a few seconds, the child collapsed under the weight of it.
"You are... so large!"
Please, my Julia...
The voice was soft and gentle, and completely calm. Kneeling weakly on the floor, unable to stand and barely able to think for the pain, the little girl felt warmth spread through her. She opened her eyes to see a million tiny lights dancing across her arms, making her skin seem to glow with their energy. Drawing in a deep breath, she took them into her lungs, and the pain subsided as her eyes slid closed.
It is I who protect you, my Julia. Not you who must protect me.
*X*X*X*
"Charley, might I ask what you did to the Viyrans when you left to make them so angry?"
"It's not me they care about, Doctor," Charley called back as another blast sent her sprawling. All around them, furniture was sliding and items were falling from shelves, shattering here and there. "It's Julia!"
"Well, I might have guessed as much."
"She's far more valuable to them than I am."
"They certainly have a funny way of showing it."
"It's the Viyrans, then?"
Gripping the console tightly, the Doctor sought a stance that would hold even as the floor shook and turned his attention to the scanner. Focus... He needed to focus. "Hard to tell," he answered Charley before ducking underneath the console. "The aftershocks of their... whatever they're firing at us is wreaking havoc with the Tardis systems."
"Where are we? Are we inside the Vortex?"
"No."
"Well, can we get there?"
"Possibly. Why?"
"Because the Viyrans can't use the Vortex and even if it's someone else, a lot of weapons that can blow us to smithereens out here won't work inside!"
"Very true, Charley, and I'm impressed that you know that. But you're forgetting one thing."
"What's that?"
"We're in a Type-40 Tardis, the sturdiest and most steadfast ship this side of the Medusa Cascade. And do you know what that means?"
"That we're going to taunt them until they pull out the really big guns?"
"Funny, Charley." He stood again, and smiled at her. "It means that no one is blowing anyone to smithereens. Not today, anyway."
"Like I said..."
One last switch flipped, and the Doctor stood back to admire his handiwork - the perfect image of a small, grey ship on the scanner and a tiny blinking red light on the console to signify that they were overriding all local communications wavelengths.
"Now it's time to taunt them," Charley finished under her breath, shaking her head as she held on tighter to the console.
"Uh, excuse me," the Doctor called loudly into the com unit on the console. "I'm addressing the Lainline 4 Seeker that has just opened fire on my ship. Do you read me?"
A long moment of silence followed. The Doctor waited patiently for them to find their communication relays. Then he smiled at the voice that finally came back through the speakers.
"This is Lainline 4 Seeker, flight number 5-2-7-6-3-4, operating under the authority of the Intergalactic Police. Identify yourself."
"Intergalactic Police?" The Doctor laughed. "Really?"
"You are harboring a dangerous fugitive. You will prepare for immediate boarding."
"Uh... Right. Well, naturally, I'm always willing to comply with local law enforcement but how do you intend to dock with my ship, exactly?"
He flipped the transmitter off for a moment, muttering under his breath. "Let them ponder over that for a minute or two."
"Doctor," Charley said, her voice full of worry. "Those aren't really the police..."
"Charlotte Pollard, I'm surprised at you!" he cried in exaggerated indignation. "I don't know whether to be more insulted by the fact that you think I might not realize that or the fact that you think I'd be sitting here chatting with them if I didn't."
"Why are we chatting with them, exactly?"
"Because, Charley, they appear to be blocking the nearest entrance to the Time Vortex."
"Well, can't you just go around them?"
"Around them? I could go right through them if I wanted to do."
"You will remain stationary upon our approach," the voice from the other ship announced. "We will escort you to the nearest port of call, where you will hand over the Earth human Charlotte Pollard and all cargo belonging to her."
The Doctor switched open the link again. "That sounds like a marvelous plan! You can begin by moving your ship out of the entranceway to the Time Vortex. Then we'll all be on our way."
Another pause. The Doctor smiled to himself as he located coordinates to the next entrance over, only a few light years away.
"Another ship will be arriving momentarily to escort you. If you offer any resistance, we will not hesitate to open fire."
"Oh, please. Have you ever seen a ship like this, Mr. Policeman? A tiny little blue box floating in space? Aren't you wondering how I even have room to stand inside of it? Let alone harbor a fugitive and her cargo."
"We are fully armed, and prepared to obliterate your ship if you offer any resistance."
"Fully armed? In a Lainline Seeker? What have you got? Field distortion torpedoes?" He scoffed. "You won't even scratch the paint."
"Are you prepared to comply with our directive?"
The Doctor gave an exaggerated sigh. "Nope. Sorry. Going to have to take a rain check."
He saw the torpedoes fire, and braced himself against the console as he cast a quick glance over at Charley. "You might want to hold onto something."
The jolt from the "big guns" elicited a cry from Charley as she lost her footing, dropping to her knees. But she kept a white-knuckle grip on the console. Far more irritated - offended, even - by the attack than he was intimidated by it, the Doctor hit the dematerialization switch.
"So much for your backup plan," he smirked as the column in the center of the console whirred to life. He even gave a flourished wave as they slowly vanished from the path of more oncoming torpedoes. "Bye bye!"
"What backup plan?" Charley asked tensely as she slowly pulled herself to her feet.
"Lainline Seekers are known for their speed," he explained. "They probably thought that by blocking the nearest access into the Time Vortex, they could initiate a high speed chase."
"Oh? To what end?"
"Who knows? Force me into some complicated time/space event, wait until I run out of fuel..."
"Well that wasn't ever going to work." Charley almost laughed in spite of herself.
"Not on me, no. Not on anything with a dematerialization protocol. But who knows what sort of ships they might have chased down in the past."
The Doctor waited until they were safely inside the Vortex to switch off the scanner. Then, he stood still, staring for a moment at the blank screen and considering what had just happened. Charley was watching him; he could feel it. It didn't take long for her to speak up.
"What's wrong?" she asked with a hint of dread.
"Nothing's wrong. We're safe now. In the Vortex, home free."
"Yes. So why the look?"
"Look?"
"You look like something's wrong. But it's like you said, isn't it? They barely scratched the paint."
The Doctor sighed. He wasn't hiding his concern very well. But then, he wasn't really trying. What was the point?
"What worries me is they were prepared to do it."
"Do what?"
"They didn't know my Tardis could sustain those torpedoes. They were prepared to kill their bounty. They didn't even think twice about it."
"Well, we are wanted dead or alive."
"That's good to know. But even so, they'd have a hard time retrieving proof of death - and certainly of recovering a body that's been blown to bits."
"They don't need a body. They only need space-time coordinates. The Viyrans will come to watch, to make sure that it's done. To make sure that her biosynthetic implant is completely obliterated."
"Biosynthetic implant?"
"It's how they can track her. But it only has a limited range."
The Doctor frowned. "So if they issued the bounty to find approximate coordinates, why don't they simply pay for those coordinates, then come and take care of you themselves? If they have access to any form of time travel - even if not the Vortex - they can go back to before you left New Earth, no matter how quickly you left. If all they want is to kill you, why are they having so much trouble doing it?"
"It's not me they want dead, Doctor. They want..." She trailed off as if she suddenly realized the silence in the room. "Julia!"
Suddenly reminded of the little girl who surely could not have slept through the jarring attack on the ship, Charley turned and bolted up the steps, taking them two at a time. The Doctor followed - not quite as quickly - up the steps and down the hall, to the room on the right where Charley was already kneeling beside the little girl who was lying on the floor.
"Doctor, what's wrong with her!"
He knelt, calm in spite of Charley's panic. He wasn't terribly worried about the girl. This really was the safest place in the universe, and he would have felt far more of a reaction from the Tardis herself had anything been truly wrong with her. Still, he checked for obvious vital signs before he touched her forehead lightly.
"She's alright," he said quietly. "She's sleeping."
"Julia? Julia, honey, wake up!"
Charley shook her, and her eyes opened, blinking a few times in confusion. "Oh. Was I sleeping?"
"Oh, Julia!"
Charley pulled her close, hugging her tightly. With the look of a much older child who was embarrassed by the fuss, she stared over her mother's shoulder and managed a slight wave once she could get her hand free.
"Hello, Doctor."
He smiled back, amused, and returned the wave. "Hello, Julia."
"Tardis is very kind."
"What?" Charley asked, startled and confused by the simple statement.
But Julia only smiled like she had a secret as the Doctor nodded quietly. "Yes," he agreed with a smile of his own. "Yes, she is."