"Sorry for everything" - Dead by April

Sometimes you said

I didn't listen to your words

That I even made you cry

Maybe I didn't show in every possible way

How much I care

[chorus]

I'm sorry for not being myself

For everything ending this way

Maybe I, maybe you could need this change

I'm sorry for

For everything

[end]

I wish that I could stop your tears from falling down

Probably I'd make it worse

Maybe I wasn't always there

It doesn't mean I don't care

Whatever it was

[chorus]

We're minutes away from saying goodbye for all of time

I'm seconds away from breaking apart

It's officially December. It's a Thursday night and Edward sends me a message on myspace about feeling bad for something he did. He had finally told me why he had to transer schools our sophomore year in High School. A girl who was a lesbian had been teasing him on the bus ride home everyday. She would tell him that her junk was bigger than his. Apparently, one day he was in a bad mood, so he showed it to her to shut her up.

The girl ended up telling her friend, who told her father, who called the police. He was arrested the next day at school and had the option to stay at his school or transfer with Emmet who already went to Forks with me.

While we were talking I noticed he was acting different and not his usual happy self.

To Bella: idk why but i feel like everyone judges me except you

To Edward: why would I judge you? i like you

To Bella: I like you too, but sometimes i wonder how things would have been if i stayed at my old school.

Ouch. I don't know what to say to that.

I don't reply right away.

To Bella: one good thing that came out of transferring was meeting you. I've never felt like I can be myself around people. nobody gets me like you do

To Edward: i feel the same way. thats why it bothers me that we have to be so secretive about this.

To Bella: I know. i want to tell you more about myself but i'm afraid of what you'll say. i know you're not a bad person, but i feel like i am. I've made a lot of mistakes. i put my parents through a lot. thats my main concern

To Edward: :/ everyone makes mistakes. it wouldnt be right to punish yourself for something.

To Bella: i feel very off tonight. thanks for talking to me.

Why do I have the feeling that he suddenly doesn't like me anymore?

To Edward: I'll always be here if you need to talk. What are friends for?

Literally.

To Bella: listen to this song. I'm sorry for everything - Dead by April. it explains how i feel right now. good night babe.

To Edward: i will :) good night *muah*

To Bella: *muah*

It's Friday, December 18 and the Friday before winter vacation. It's senior breakfast and pajama day. Alice and I decided to go to school wearing our comfy pajamas. I decided to skip the senior breakfast since Edward wasn't going and I enjoyed seeing his face every second of the day.

It's nutrition and Jane, the biggest gossiper you can imagine, suggested to Alice that we should all go out to Denny's for breakfast. It was going to be an easy day for seniors anyways, so Alice agreed to go, but I decided to stay with Rosalie. We told Alice and Jane we'd cover for them if anyone asked where they went.

It's third period and I noticed the classroom was almost empty. The only ones in class are me, Rosalie, Edward, and Jasper. Every year Rosalie wore a headband with a mistletoe on top so her boyfriend James could kiss her. That is too adorable. While sitting in class she turned around and put it on me. I looked away and saw Jasper telling Emmet to kiss me, so I walked out of class. Rosalie followed me and apologized. I wasn't mad at her, but I thought he would say no, so I saved myself the embarrassment.

We walked to our hang out classroom called Police Academy and our teacher did a check on the seniors to see who skipped school and who stayed. Rosalie and I didn't even have a chance to stick up for Alice and Jane because our teacher had already taken a count on who was missing. I texted Alice to let her know she needed to come back because our teacher was upset.

By the lunch time I could tell that Alice was upset from all the heat she got from teacher, poor girl. Rosalie wanted to know how Alice was doing so she came to check up on us. She didn't want to talk about it anymore so we left it alone.

"By the way, Bella I called Edward a pussy."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because he is! He's had three months to ask you out and hasn't taken the chance too. Pussy!"

"Ugh, I'm doomed to be alone just randomly went up to him and called him that?"

"No. I was talking to Jasper and asked him if he was going to grow some balls and Edward saw us talking so I turned to him, called him a pussy, then walked away."

Ring

"See you later, Rose."

After lunch I went to fifth period where the fun began .

I had to take an exam that I missed while Edward and Jasper sat together in a huddle. They made sure to speak in extra soft voices.

Oh gosh, don't tell me Edward doesn't like me anymore. I knew if he waited too long to ask me out he would like someone else. Stupid Jessica. Maybe Rosalie pissed him off and now he doesn't want to talk anymore. Okay, play it cool.

I then turned in my test and went back to my table asking them what was going on.

"Someone's being nosy," Edward said this with an attitude.

"Okay gosh."

I pulled out my phone and texted Angela.

To Angela: It's official he doesn't like me anymore.

To Bella: How do you know?

To Bella: cuz i always sit in the middle between Jasper and Edward and today they isolated me to the corner of our table and I'm all alone. I knew I should have given up hope.

Class is finally over and I ran out to save myself the humiliation.

"Bella!" Jasper went after me.

"What?" I said impatiently.

"Look, I'm sorry we were acting dumb in class. Meet me at my locker after school. Let's go to Edward's house."

"For what?"

"Just come."

"Fine."

"I decided to go and after school came so I met Jasper at his locker. Edward came too and suddenly Jasper disappeared.

"Come on, let's go to my house without him."

"Umm, okay I guess."

We walked to Edward's house and on the way we saw his mom who pulled over to pick us up.

Oh gosh how embarrassing I'm still in my pajamas for senior breakfast day.

We got to Edward's house and the smell never gets old to me. He has a scent that smells so natural on him. I can't describe it, but I could smell it all day. It's not a cologne, but more of a friendly scent. We get to his room and Emmet is with their cousin and is going to live with him apparently.

Well, that's one problem out of my way.

I know the reason I'm here. Edward is going to tell me he no longer likes me. Tears please stay back.