A/N: to the person who wants a Joker/T'Soni, I'll write that in with my Jane Shepard/Kaidan in the next chapter. Thanks for suggesting it. This chapter started out somewhat humourous and silly, but then something happened...

Yes, more biotic terrorists. (all these are side quests in the game)

(II)

I: MSV: Ontario Freighter: Biotic L2 terrorists and Incursions.

(II)

The assignment was supposed to be a simple one. Go and save Chairman Burns. Admiral Hackett had contacted John as soon as he got on the platform of the galaxy map.

"I hear ya, Admiral. I'll get on it, but is there anything I should be aware of?"

"As far as I know, Shepard, Chairman Burns of the Parliament subcommittee on transhuman studies was kidnapped and the L2 biotics are holding him in a derelict ship in the Farinata system, right there on your coordinates. There may be a negotiation and you'll have to calm the biotics down."

"Geez, all these missions with angry biotics in it, makes you think what a mistake it was to give these people implants?" John griped back at the Admiral.

"We are aware of the problem, Shepard; however, we're confident that you'll control the situation."

"You can count on me, Admiral."

The comm link cut off, leaving John to ponder his decision. They were already on the Hades Gamma cluster, and it was only a mere hop, skip and jump to get on the drifting freighter. He wanted to go board on the ship, knowing that it wouldn't take much effort-- seeing that it was a kowloon class modular conveyor. One of those human designed freights, configured for passenger hauling, and mixed exports. A little out of ways from any human colony too.

What he didn't like about the mission was that he was about to deal with biotics again.

John gripped the railings, his arms tensed, taut, mouth grim and blue eyes set. Shuffling his feet to and fro from nervous agitation, he decided to breathe in, count to ten and then breathe out. Inhale, exhale, that kind of thing—to help focus and think, so he stretched, rolled his arms, cracking his neck, swinging his arms back and forth and huffing out a breath. He stood there for a long moment, a few more minutes passed, then half an hour went by…….his crew was finally looking at him.

He glanced over at them, shrugging, "What? What? I'm thinking here. I haven't decided if I want to land yet…"

They resumed to their work, mindful not to shake their heads at their commander.

John folded his arms then lifted one hand to tap his finger on his chin, "What do to?"

He pulled out a small pocketbook from his back pocket, The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

John opened it, dug his nose in, and after a few minutes looked up from the pages to see if he was being watched. His crew was still working. He yawned, stretched, and relaxed against the railing. Thumbing his finger through the pages, he stretched after a moment, right when the question of The Ultimate Answer to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything came up. It made his brows draw to a close, and he pondered on this for quite awhile.

"Uh, commander," Joker interrupted, "We're still waiting on orders."

"What is the answer to the universe, Joker?"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Never mind." John shook his head, "I was just a bit distracted." He stuffed his small paperback in his back pocket.

He can't do this anymore. Everyone was waiting on him. Staying invisible takes a lot of energy for the ship, and the hostage on board couldn't wait till the next day. He has to go in. He thought this over: Take on the biotics and make sure they release Chairman Burns. Thinking about whom to take: he'll take Liara with him, and maybe…maybe someone with top combatic skills. Wrex? He had taken Wrex to Feros already, and recently got his armour too on Tuntau, making the krogan quite happy and cuddling the ancient piece against the lockers downstairs. John figured that Wrex would need some time alone with it.

He had only one other option, and since this was close quarters, he wouldn't need Garrus for sniping skills. Besides, John figured there would be only one infiltrator in the group. He'll take Ashley for the fire power and durability, at least for a clean sweep. It was going to be difficult for him around her, because he had been quite cozy with her a few days ago. That incident in the shower room left him feeling rather weak in the knees too. If only they had time to finish what they started….but someone was knocking on the door-- had interrupted their very heated session. Something he hoped would be a repeat in the near future. Yet, somehow, before getting that close to her, John had been tentatively offering a fond ear to her little stories, and he was listening with apt pleasure. Or he was just thinking too much of getting in her pants at the time. He couldn't help it, dammit. First time he saw her on Eden Prime, he couldn't help but feel the pang of desire to rescue her, but had an inkling suspicion that she didn't want no knight in shining armour.

He smirked. Well then, he'll have to make sure she wanted a SPECTRE in Colossus X armour.

John fondly recalled the scene, and since then, he had avoided Ashley. He was a coward, yes. He had to admit, he didn't want to commit seriously to a relationship….not yet. It's too soon. But wasn't it he who was the one chasing her? Telling her that fraternization with a superior officer and a bottle of asari lotion wasn't a big deal?

He sighed loudly, daydreaming of that day…….

Ashley had her supple leg wrapped around his naked waist, and she had whispered against his ear, giving little kisses, her lips against his hot skin, and he could feel a little nibble there….he shivered…..and he was going down…down…oh down on her, where the valley of her chest was, past those collar bones, to touch….his lips where they longed to be, pressing……….

She was leaning her head back, moaning, and her hands were gripping his arms, his shoulders, her fingers pushing between the short crop of his hair.

That was when the banging on the door interrupted them. Something about wasting water or something…

He remembered it so well, so vividly that he whimpered out loud.

"Commander, are you all right?"

John shook himself, saw that his crew was staring at him, looking horrified.

"Eh…" He gave an ostentatious laugh, then abruptly stood at attention, "nothing…crap!" He waved a hand, "Just send me in. Joker! Get Williams and T'Soni to suit up, we're heading in. John paused, realizing that something was very uncomfortable, then called Joker, "Er….can you give me ten minutes before locking onto the doors to the freighter?"

And in ten minutes, the Normandy's doors securely locked onto the MSV: Ontario and the trio managed to get in quietly and steadily.

"All right. This is where a bunch of crazy biotics are, and they're not going to be nice. So, Liara, make sure you use your singularity and lift immediately." John motioned them, his eyes on T'Soni's steady face, nodding at the command.

He looked over at Ashley, "No heroics, Ash, just shoot them down and start bumping them off one by one. You can get into the fray first. I trust you."

"Of course, I'll protect you, Shepard." Ash went ahead, her assault rifle in place.

When they first entered the main chamber of the ship, Shepard moved beside Ash and they both had accidentally set off the traps, which managed to conveniently warn the biotics. They came out of no where and started screaming.

"INTRUDERS!! KILL THE HOSTAGE!"

John panicked, "Damn! No. Wait, guys! Can we talk it over? I have some really great biotic amps you'd be interested in!"

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

Well…..he didn't think they would go for it, and the biotics merely snarled, growled and started charging. John could swear he could see some of them turn blue in the face from the effort of using their L2's, and their blue ball of attacks pushed out of their bodies.

"YOU MUST DIE!"

John gritted his teeth, looking for Chairman Burns, but didn't see him around. He moved away from the oncoming surge of biotic ball, yelling out from behind cover, "All right! All right! It's easy to see that I've insulted you guys. You would have better amps than we do."

He motioned Liara, but she was already on it. And her body burned sapphire, lifting the terrorists up in the air, floating like paper and Ash only had to do a couple of shots to give them a nice slow easy smolder…like paper on flames, cindering down…down…….

And she was already pumping a few more rounds of X's into rampaging biotics, and her armour's been maxed so that the attacks wouldn't affect her so much. They instantly cleared the room, and in that wake, they watched as the sooty tires stumbled about, boxes loudly overturned, and the crates that needed to be opened were beckoning.

"Good work, team." John smiled at his ladies, "I am –…"

"Commander," Ash and Liara chimed in, "There's a clock ticking."

Ash pointed at the screen. John drew his brows together in confusion. But sure enough. There was a timer in the middle of the screen, and the minutes were counting down.

Liara gently offered, "I believe that is a timer to give indication for the lead biotics of this operation to kill Chairman Burns; therefore, we must make haste lest the chairman would be lost to us, and thus, the timer finding its way to the double zeros would be just that."

"Hmmm, yes, better go look for him then." John moved forward and opened the door leading to three other doors. He went straight ahead, hoping to find them there. It was the pilot's room, and he moved further, going to the left, finding only a long rectangular room with a few lockers to open up.

"Looks like no one's home." Ash said, "Guess that means they're in door number three."

"All right. This is it, if they start shooting; you two know what to do. I'll take the lead terrorist of this operation down, and you two try and save the Chairman."

And before they reached the door, the clock stopped at 00:42, and John paused for a moment.

When the doors opened, John lifted a hand up, calling out with a booming voice: "LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING WE'RE GOING TO REGRET!"

That startled them. A man with dark skin and sporting no hair atop his head grimly answered, "Who?" He had his pistol behind the Chairman's back, "See? You write letters and no one listens. No one cares about a bunch of biotics with L2s."

The hostage cried out, "Please, help!"

"You think this method will get you anywhere?" Shepard said, "Killing isn't going to be the answer."

The man got angrier, "Hey, L2s are nearly crippled from the side effects of the implants! No one cares about us! Burns never listened. Maybe this way, will get us the attention we need."

Chairman Burns sobbed out, his hands up in the air, "I didn't know, I didn't think it was important. But it was a mistake! Please, I'll review everything and make sure you get the attention you need."

John shook his head, his finger pointing directly at the terrorist, "think! By killing him, you're going to get your buddies killed too. My crew and I have already swept the floor clean of a bunch of them back there. Do you want more blood on your hands?"

Shepard could feel Ash's eyes look at him, smiling. He hoped he got his charm up.

The terrorist holding the pistol paused, looked at them and back to his friends who stood around ready for orders. He lowered the firearm. "You're right. We don't want to die like this. We just…want to be heard..."

Burns puffed out a sigh of relief, "And you will!"

Shepard growled, "You better." He leaned forward with a finger shaking at them, sternly facing each one with a vengeance.

"Uh…Shepard," Ash interrupted softly, "Maybe you should call Joker and get a fleet to pick them up."

He straightened, shook his arms, rolling his shoulders back, "Yeah…uh, okay, so that's it."

And the three of them went back on the Normandy, having completed one of the easiest missions ever.

He watched absently as Ashley walk back to her corner, to check weapons she said. He wanted to yell out, "How much can you check? Damn it! Check on something else, why don't you?"

But that wouldn't be very professional, would it? And he was still surrounded by Garrus checking up on the vehicle and doing a re-check on the cooling and heating system. And the krogan was still cuddling his newfound armour. Great! Everyone's happy. Even Dr. T'Soni had said that she had some errands to help with Dr. Chakwas in Med bay, maybe something to do with Protheans, he could bet on it. As long as she didn't attempt to mind meld with him, he was safe. He even had to put a hand up to tell the noncommissioned officer who was about to ask him if he wanted to buy something that he wasn't in the buying mood.

So he hung his head low, walked with a heavy boot back up to the galaxy map upstairs. He sighed openly. That got looks from his crew again. John cleared his throat. He can't be looking like he was moping about.

He knew he could go and talk to Joker. That was what he did, instead of feeling like a big heel and looking like a disgruntled Shepard, he'd sit over by the window.

"Hey hey, commander," Joker said, "You here to check up on me? Not to worry! I'm not spying on you guys." He opened his arms out, then pointed at the monitors, "See? All safe from my prying eyes." And the screens were only showing the public areas, and even the outside, where the stars were so close, yet too far.

John dumped himself on the chair, looking out at the window, waving his hand down at Joker, "Nah, I don't care. I'm not here to reprimand you. There's no point." He cleared his throat, "Well, I want to have a man to man talk."

Joker leaned back, "All right. Go ahead. I'm listening. But if you're going to ask me about if I had any girlfriends back on earth, I've had a couple, my fair share. Nothing major. Got something on your mind, Commander?"

"It's Williams."

His pilot nodded slowly, pulled down his cap a little to partially hide his eyes, "Oh yeah? Brassy girl, but sweet. Easy on the eyes. What'd she do this time?"

"Aw come on, you know what happened between me and Ashley in the shower room." John leaned in, lowered his voice to a whisper, "does the rest of my crew know?"

"The entire crew knows, commander." Joker offered smugly, "Besides, I don't know what happened, since my screens are blocked out in that part of the ship."

John placed his hand over his face, "I've been avoiding her a little, you know…because of what happened."

"What exactly did happen?" Joker leaned his ear closer, "commander, my lips are sealed, there's no point hiding anything from me anyway."

"Yes, I know." John straightened in the chair, "we didn't get far, I didn't do anything to jeopardize our professional relationship….but it did get a little bit hot."

"Details, commander, I want details."

"What if…I screw it up between us? I could say one wrong word and everything would be shot."

Joker considered this for a moment, "Commander, if you want my advice? I suggest you talk to her."

"She'll just say that she's got to check on weapons."

"Then do a couple more missions, or better yet, go to a main mission." Joker looked at one of the smaller terminals, and checked on the coordinates for the two main planets to go to: Noveria and Virmire.

"Hmmm good idea. Then, I'll go up to her and be a bit forceful." John got up, nodding, "yeah, take us to Noveria."

"Wellll," Joker lifted his cap up, looking up at the commander, "You could always go on the geth incursions, take a clean sweep of the planets in the system, then she'll open up. A girl like her likes to be taken in on a couple of those missions, give her a little revenge on some geth action; especially what happened on Eden Prime and all."

"I was thinking about that too." John paused, his brows furrowed, "It's too bad you couldn't be a Spectre, Joker, you'd do a good job."

"Naw, not my kind of thing, commander. I don't like Spectres, they're trouble, present company excepting, sir."

And so, after a few days, Shepard took the group, alternatively taking turns to take down the geth invasion, leaving only one more geth outpost to take care of. He was tired, and there were times that he couldn't get any sleep during the nights. He would lay there, listening to the silent whir of the orange terminal by his bedside. The cool nights where the galaxy seemed billions of light years from his home world, from any human colony, making him antsy for the next day. And when he would wake, he'd do a few hard core exercises, get a quick hardy breakfast down, check up on his armour and equipment, and head down to the outposts.

He would drive the mako on these frozen barren lands, where the whipping winds stung his environmental suit, and where even the hazard was beyond the first level. Sometimes, it would take hours for him to take pot shots with his sniper to tear a geth armature down, and he'd have to watch out for geth snipers. Normally, he'd take Tali and Wrex with him, alternating them with Ashley and Kaidan or Liara. And if he knew the condition of the weather was less fierce, Garrus was behind him with a sniper above the craggy hills to take turns sniping at geth troopers.

When he had come crawling back to his room after the fourth outpost was destroyed, his muscles aching, knuckles cracked when he made a fist, and his body about to give out from the pure exhaustion, John lay heavily on the bed. Staring up at the same ceiling, waiting for the room to dim, and he would wait till the next day to get the main geth base. He had thought that the final base would be on the fourth planet, but as it turned out, the damned synthetics had fooled them.

His eyes were fluttering close, and the entrance to his door was being hailed, forcing him to lift his weary body up. "Just a minute."

John leaned his arm on the wall, hitting the panel with his other fisted hand, and when the doors slid opened, Ashley stood there.

"Commander, do you have a minute?"

He waved her in, and his back felt like hell. John reached over with his one hand to massage the place where the back arched. Ashley noted the distress and immediately moved to hold up her commander, "Shepard. Are you all right? Here, let me get you back on your bed."

"Yeah…uh, I'll be fine. I was going to go to Dr. Chakwas to suck down some pain killers but I'm not one for meds. I think I just over exerted myself from the last geth outpost."

Ashley half smiled, "yeah…I was there. You didn't have to get in the fray where the geth colossus was. We would have been able to handle it, me and Kaidan. Your sniping skills are what keep us alive, commander."

"Uh." He half laughed, "Kaidan went down like a light, when the first wave of torpedo hit him. My fault. I should have taken the time to buy him better light armour. At least find him some energized plating."

"Not your fault, commander. And Kaidan's fine. He's at his monitor still, and if anything, that screen's the one that gives him hell."

He chuckled, nodding, "And after I helped him up with medi-gel and my unity, he lifted that colossus and the geth primes up in the air superbly."

She smiled, "Yeah, I love working with you all. It makes my day worth while.."

"And you busted that geth prime across the floor, making him spin on his synthetic ass. That was gold, chief."

"Glad to have impressed you, sir. Considering that you're the one who always impresses me."

John set himself down on the bed, "What brings you here, Chief? Not that I'm complaining, but I'm surprised."

"Well, I hope you don't mind...but, it's about last time…"

He panicked. "Oh…you mean…."

"I'm sorry. I've been avoiding you." She continued, "I'm so damned fool hard headed, that I don't know a good thing if it were in front of me waving its red flag on go."

John shook his head, "I have a hard time figuring you out, but I think I know what you like."

"Oh really? And what do you think I like?" She was curious now, and that mischievous twinkle in her eyes was flashing.

He held up a finger, indicating that he needed a moment, and leaning over to the side of his bed, he took out a bottle of asari lotion.

"I know…that you like this, on you. Despite your reservations about it in the beginning….you were saying how it makes your skin feel really good." He wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

She laughed, "Commander! Shame. And here I was going to come in to offer you some comfort, maybe give you a back massage, after seeing what you've gone through in the past few days."

"It occurs to me, chief that this may be our last months together on this galaxy, with the geth on our tail, Saren aligning with them, and who knows what else."

"Good thing I came prepared, sir, because I would want us to go have it again in the shower room." She responded with a low seductive tone.

John thought he felt his heart skip, and he grinned, "So, are you going to do what you were thinking of doing before you came in here?" he lifted the bottle in his hand, shaking it back and forth teasingly, "Because, I think I've just gotten my energy back up."

"Mmmm, you come here." She teased, smiling sweetly.

"Ash, I'm not a toy."

"I don't think of you as one, but you'll learn, Shepard…." Ashley reached over and kissed him soundly, and his arms went around her immediately. They tangled themselves on the bed; he kissing her back and she pulling at his shirt to come off. They were a little too excited too, as their clothes came off quite quickly, dumping them ceremoniously on the floor. And there was the sound of lips kissing--heaving breathing; echoing in the room--to every place where skin was exposed; there was the nick of his day's growth beard chaffing her smooth flesh, and hot tongue licking softly at her curves.

It was as if Joker had hit the engine thrusters of the Normandy, using overdrive, that the heat was expanding...

When he was atop her, his hand smoothing her long hair which lay across the sheets, away from her temples. He stared into her eyes, whispering, "Would you roll your eyes if I told you that I've never felt this happy as I do now? Ever?"

She made an expression rolling her eyes, the smile never leaving. Then her lips parted softly; she chuckled fondly, "John, come here, kiss me, because cheesy or not, I want to remember this…..."

He kissed her then, feeling the pressing urgency of her tongue; and he didn't hear his digital clock by the bedside--where the universe's answers were out in the distant stars and in the galaxy beyond….

And where the numbers clicked the hour --just over half past midnight…remaining on 00: 42.

-end for now.

End Notes: If no one understood the "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" reference. 42 is the number that is the answer to the universe and life in question. It's a popular reference in cultural scifi. It's written by Douglas Adams. I also made a pairing poll, but unfortunately, they are limited to the three main pairs that i'm writing: FemShep/Kaidan, Ash/ManShep, and Liara/FemShep. So if you want, go ahead and vote on it. Remember, they are all going to be non-serious fics and will very closely relate to the romance in the game.