Well, hello everyone!
Woohoo! Chapters have hit double digits!... I feel like I haven't updated in awhile, even though I have... What a strange feeling... This chapter, I'll admit was an exciting one for me to write. Partially because it introduces some of the drama that will surface throughout the story, and partially because I am getting ever closer to the actual plot of the story... I kind of find it hard to believe that this was only the intro... But I wanted to make sure that all of the characters in the story were very well-introduced.
For those of you who read Eden, I haven't forgotten the story! I just wanted to make sure that I updated this chapter first, which sort of took time to get to... Sorry... :)... If you do read Eden, though, you may get a bit more gasps out of this chapter... just because you know some info that happens in our little Eve's future... and why it may end up playing a part in the big picture...
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!
Eve flopped into her canopy bed for the second time that evening, buried her face in her cluster of pillows and let out a muffled scream.
That night could not have possibly gotten worse.
She had been thrown down a ravine, caught by Valentine in an EXTREEMLY compromising situation with Jonathan; her tutor, Jada, had taken all of her clothes away; she had had her first actual meal with someone outside of Valentine's manor, only to stab said person violently with a fork; and last but not least, she had received her (mind-blowingly fantastic) very first kiss – which had come from the gorgeous Jonathan Morgenstern, no less – and then she had ruined the perfect moment with her own, stupid hesitation. And then after all that, when Eve thought things couldn't have possibly gotten worse, she had made Jada furious at her.
In Eve's eyes, there was really little else that she could have done to ruin her life at that point: she wondered absently if it was cosmically possible for one night to be so awful.
As if on queue, Eve heard her bedroom door slam open, but she didn't move to get off the bed. She groaned, and knew that the night could – in fact – have gotten worse. After all, only one person in the Manor wore high-heels, and the figure who just walked in was clicking with every step; Eve already guessed who it would be.
"You aren't allowed to sleep yet, Eve," she heard Jada say – although her tutor's tone was soft and kind, which was surprising. Eve had expected her to be livid with her. "We're having a female bonding moment. Get out of bed."
Eve glanced towards the door, saw Jada's rippling dark hair and gorgeous hourglass body floating in the doorway, and frowned. Any fleeting hope that she was having some terrible hallucination and hearing voices became a sad impossibility.
Without a noise of protest, Eve climbed out of her ruby-colored canopy bed and glided over to the warm, still-smoldering fireplace. There were a few arm-chairs placed there, perfect for sitting and talking, but Jada didn't seem interested in that sitting arrangement. She ushered Eve over to her full-length mirror, dragged a padded stool in front of the glass, and motioned for Eve to sit down in it.
Eve did as she was asked.
The faster she 'bonded' with Jada, the faster she could go back to lying in her warm bed.
In one, graceful motion, Jada reached over to the little table beside Eve's bed and produced her heavy, silver hair-brush. Tenderly, Jada stood over Eve and began running the brush through her student's waist-length, golden twists of hair.
It caught Eve off-guard: both the motherly, affectionate care in Jada's touch, as well as the feel of someone else brushing her hair; no one had done anything like it since she was ten years old. The steady pulling motion relaxed Eve, making her feel instantly calm – but not so calm that she wasn't slightly suspicious of Jada's motives.
Eve paused thoughtfully, glancing shyly at her toes. "How exactly do 'female bonding moments' work?" she asked Jada, timidly. "I don't think I've had one before."
Jada smiled, then: and that smile had no spite, or anger, or authority in it. Jada looked even more beautiful than usual when she smiled like that, Eve noticed with awe. She had not known that such a thing was possible.
"Normally, bonding moments begin when one woman reveals a deep dark secret to another woman," Jada began. "– and they discuss the emotional impacts of the aforesaid secret together and offer advice. Although the 'secret-telling part' is hardly necessary in this case," Jada chuckled quietly. "I already know your secret, Eve; I just came for the emotional-impact discussing/ advice offering portion of this bonding moment."
Eve pouted. "Well, that doesn't seem fair."
Jada paused mid-stroke, with the hair-brush in hand. "What doesn't seem fair?"
"That you get to know all of my secrets and I don't get to know any of yours."
Jada's smile widened wickedly, then.
"Once when I was mad at Valentine," Jada said with delight. "I may or may not have pretended that you were having feminine issues, just so he would give me his credit card without questions, and I may or may not have used it to buy twenty thousand dollars' worth of Buccellati jewelry and six pairs of next-season Jimmy Choo high-heels."
Eve's blue eyes flashed wide with shock. "Jada!" she sputtered in disbelief. "You wouldn't – you didn't –"
"I didn't say I did," Jada replied with a neutral, elegant shrug. She dropped a conspiring wink at Eve through the reflection in the mirror though, and Eve happened to notice that Jada's footwear at the moment was, in fact, a pair of black, suede, Jimmy Choo heels.
Eve blinked at her. "Did Valentine find out?"
Jada paused. "Yes."
"Did he make you pay him back?"
Jada smiled like the devil, her chocolate-brown eyes darkening with memory. "You could say that."
She ran the brush another few times through Eve's hair before either of them spoke again. To Eve's surprise, it was her own voice – not Jada's – that finally broke the heavy silence.
"Is this about me… and… Jonathan?" Eve asked quietly.
Jada's smile softened. "It is, uccello."
Eve nodded quietly. "How much do you know?"
"Enough to know that you kissed Jonathan… and to know that you turned him down…"
"No!" Eve stuttered suddenly. "I – I didn't mean to turn Jonathan down – I – It isn't like that… It just … it didn't seem right somehow, at the time… I didn't mean to –" Eve turned her head slightly, glancing worriedly at her tutor. "Did I really refuse Jonathan? Is that how it seemed?"
Jada paused thoughtfully. "Yes," she replied. "And I think that was how Jonathan took it as well…"
Eve wanted to bury her face mournfully in her hands. If Jonathan thought she had turned him down… it would ruin everything… everything she had been taught… every discussion… every moment of training… her entire purpose in life… It would all be gone.
"Jada?" Eve asked weakly. "Do … do you think Jonathan will forgive me? Maybe if I explain… If I tell him that I was just nervous…"
Jada stopped brushing her hair for a moment. "That depends, Eve. Were you just nervous when you turned him down?"
Eve thought about it for a second – but no; she hadn't been nervous at all when she pulled away from Jonathan… She had been thinking all too clearly.
"No," Eve admitted. "I… I wasn't feeling nervous at all."
"Then don't lie about it," Jada told her simply. "If you didn't feel in love with him, there was probably a reason for it."
"But Jada," Eve cut in. "I … I have to be in love with Jonathan, don't I? It is why Valentine is raising me… it is why I was born…"
"Forget all that, Eve," Jada answered softly. "You don't have to pretend like you love Jonathan Morgenstern if you don't… Not now. Not with me."
The words sunk in slowly, like a fine mist.
Eve glanced into the mirror and saw Jada's somber gaze searching for hers, and she was surprised to see that Jada actually looked sincere. She really was willing to listen to what Eve had to say.
There was a moment of pause, where Eve was totally silent.
She knew what she should have said: She should have said that she absolutely loved Jonathan, that he was her soul-mate…
But it would have been a lie.
"I don't know if I love Jonathan or not," Eve responded, fidgeting with her fingers. "I mean I do care for him… I do… but how am I to know if I really love Jonathan? I mean… well… It's different when you're in love, isn't it – different than when you are just friends? But I've never even met another boy my age, except for Jonathan… How can I compare friendship to love when I haven't had both yet?"
Jada nodded knowingly.
"Well, what is it that you dislike about Jonathan? What made you not want to kiss him?" she questioned softly, running the brush through Eve's hair again.
Eve sighed. "He's impatient… he's moody… and he's conceited: One moment he will be joking around with me, and the next moment he will be furious at me. I … I never really know what he is feeling. And by the time I do finally figure out what his feelings are, they will have already changed three times over. It's like being in love with an ever-changing cloud of smoke… And when he kissed me… I don't know…" Eve looked away from the mirror, blushing. "I didn't feel like myself…"
Jada smiled gently, tenderly pulling a stand of golden hair behind Eve's ear. "And what do you love about him?"
There was a moment of silence, and then Eve smiled too. How could she not? It was Jonathan they were talking about.
"I love the way he makes me laugh," she replied fondly. "And I love the way that, at times, he can be so kind to me… It's like, every once in awhile I get to see who he really is… and I love those flashes of kindness… They almost outweigh the bad moments."
"But not quite, I'm guessing?" Jada added.
"I suppose not," Eve answered. "I mean, I would never have turned him down if I believed he was good,right? … Aren't you expected to just know when you are in love? Like when Elizabeth realizes that she truly loves Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice…?"
Jada laughed. "Love is not like it is in the story books, bambina. In real life, love does not always work out."
The words struck Eve. She sat perfectly still as Jada started braiding her golden hair into one thick rope.
"Jada?" Eve asked quietly.
"Yes?"
"Have you… ever been in love?"
Jada's hands froze on Eve's hair – suddenly, as if they had been injected with ice. Eve could even feel Jada's body tense behind her, her muscles winding tight. "Why would you ask that?" she inquired slowly.
Eve immediately regretted asking Jada the question in the first place. She caught a glimpse of her tutor's expression in the mirror and knew that her question had tugged on one of Jada's nerves.
"It – it's alright," Eve told her hastily. "I – I shouldn't have asked. It isn't any of my business."
Jada finished braiding Eve's hair in silence, keeping her eyes downcast. Her long, thick eyelashes hid her pretty brown irises completely.
"No," Jada replied finally. "No, I don't mind that you asked me, Eve… It is in the past now, anyway…"
The memory of the office came back to her; Eve couldn't fight down her curiosity. "Was… was it Valentine that you loved?" Eve asked.
Jada's expression became stricken. She glanced hastily away from Eve at that moment, and Eve had sickening sense that she had hurt Jada's feelings. Jada who was so unbreakable, Jada who was so carefully controlled; her question had hurt her. It was a shock to Eve, who had spent her life thinking Jada had no complicated feelings at all.
"I'm sorry," Eve put in. "I would never have said anything, but… It – it was just a guess…"
Jada slowly set the hairbrush back on Eve's side-table. Her slender hand was shaking, but when she turned back to Eve, there was a smile on her face. Eve noticed distractedly that Jada had balled her hand into a tight fist. "No… It isn't Valentine that I was talking about…" she said simply. "The man I loved… his name was Argyle – Argyle Silverspear."
With a flick of her raven hair, Jada glided over to Eve's canopy bed and stiffly pulled back the gold-trimmed, ruby blankets. Eve followed behind Jada obediently and climbed under the covers wordlessly. She felt like she was a little girl again.
"Did he love you, too?" Eve asked, once settled into bed.
Jada winced slightly, as if the question had pained her in some physical way. "Yes. He did."
"Then… why didn't it work out between you two?"
Eve wished she could have pulled back her words as soon as they left her lips. She thought she was very stupid to ask that, indeed. Jada was using the past-tense… What if this Argyle character had died? How horrible it would be for Eve to bring it up… especially when Jada had been so kind to her that evening…
Jada cleared her throat then, and swallowed harshly.
"Sometimes, Eve," Jada said in a soft, even tone. "– when you are in love – really in love – with someone, you have to sacrifice for them: Argyle… Argyle is foolish, he always has been; and he was willing to give up far too much for me… But…I was a burden to him… and I knew that he was better off without me. So I left him."
Eve watched sadly as Jada pulled away from the bed and turned towards the door.
That answer seemed even more tragic to Eve than the idea of Jada's young lover dying. It offended her sense of romantic justice. She wondered if this 'Argyle Silverspear' still cared for Jada, if he had still loved her throughout the passing of the years… Or maybe he had forgotten about her as the time went on… Eve wondered if Jada was only a pleasant memory to him now – like a well-loved chapter in an old, favorite book.
Jada lingered in Eve's bedroom doorway, her posture stiff. "I don't know if you will know it instantly when you find love, Eve, and I don't even know for sure if Jonathan Morgenstern is the man that you will fall in love with… And maybe I'm not the best person to be giving you love advice – but I know that when you love once, Eve – when you truly love once – you never really love again." Jada glanced over her shoulder at her student with a sad smile. "Just… be careful who you give your heart to, Eve," Jada finished. "You never know how your life will turn out."
Eve nodded obediently as Jada slipped into the corridor beyond, her throat feeling unbearably tight.
"Good night," called Eve, ignoring the catch in her own voice.
Jada smiled again, pulling the door shut. Her chocolate eyes were miserable.
"Goodnight, bambina," Jada replied gently.
After she had closed Eve's door, Jada leaned against the cold, pale, stone wall for a long time, listening to the silence and staring pointedly at a section of the vaulted ceiling. She didn't really feel like she was going to cry, but feminine emotions were a mysterious thing, even to her: she never had any idea if or when she was actually going to cry or not – the sentiment came and went in seemingly random intervals – but Jada had already shed hours of tears for Argyle Silverspear in the last eight years.
She had assumed that her feelings for him had all dried up.
Jada had to admit, however, that she wasn't feeling particularly emotionally stable at the moment, either. Her hands were shaking violently for one thing, and her heart was slamming against her ribs in a way that was almost painful…
She sighed.
Maybe the feelings hadn't ebbed as much as she had thought.
Even then, she could see Argyle in her mind's eye, as clear as a photograph – and the thought was a beautiful sort of agony. What she had said to Eve was true. She had loved once. But it had been an impossible love.
Argyle Silverspear had been heir to a rich, venerable Shadowhunter family; she had been a penniless orphan, with nothing to her name but her beauty and her cleverness and her charming little brother. Argyle had had the best of education at Alicante's prestigious Shadowhunter Academy, and had been far on his way to becoming one of the Silent Brothers. He had dreams to follow. She, on the other hand, had never had the luxury of any of those things.
Their love for each other had kept him from finally joining the Brotherhood, even though his family vehemently disapproved of the relationship, and had threatened to disown him. The Silent Brothers lived lives of solitude, after all. He could not have had a life with Jada and have his dreams at the same time. So he had chosen her.
But he had been a fool. And she had refused to let him sacrifice his dreams in favor of her shortcomings.
So she had left him.
Of course, it had been better for her, in the end. She had joined the Circle. She had gotten the position of tutoring Eve. She had met Valentine.
Jada cringed, then.
No. She… couldn't think of Valentine when she was thinking of Argyle. It offended her conscience. Not that she didn't care for Valentine: she did care for him, in a way. But… It was not the same with him as it had been with Argyle.
The last thing she had left of Argyle was her memories of him. And… those memories were precious and personal to her. She would never dirty them by thinking of Valentine at the same time: A huge part of her still belonged to Argyle Silverspear, although she would rather die than admit it.
She glanced warily down the corridor, to her left, which led to Valentine's office.
He was waiting for her, she knew. She should have gone to him. But she looked to her right, which led to her own room, and the temptation was impossible to resist. Five minutes in her room alone, she told herself. Five minutes to get Argyle off of her mind. Five minutes by herself, and then she would go to Valentine.
She nodded wordlessly to herself, then marched off in the direction of her bedroom.
What do you think? I kind of like Jada's character... You will see why she does some of the things that she does within the next two chapters...
LOL... I find it kind of funny that this was just one day in Eve's poor, little life... By the way, I will totally have more Eve/ Jonathan in the next chapter or two, I really just wanted to set up this Jada story as a base for Eden, where it plays a pretty big part in Eve's story... Hang in there, folks!
PS: I'm still really undecided if I want the next chapter to be funny, or if I should just continue with the plot... I kind of want to keep the flow of the story... Review with your thoughts.
Love, Fishie.