A/N: I'd just like to say 'thank you' for the encouraging reviews for the last chapter ... they were all very much appreciated.
Plus I can't move on without extending a HUGE welcome back to Doshie ... Great to have you on board again!
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Chapter Ten
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Getting There
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"Ow!"
A wounded escapee raised himself into a sitting position.
"Fuck that!"
An arm was vigorously rubbed.
"Oh ... "
There was a desisting of all and any movement.
"Oops."
The owner of the profanity spewing trap, had at last remembered he was supposed to be behaving in a stealth-like manner.
Hand gripping comfortingly around his right bicep, Ianto slowly glanced to his right. Despite his inspired moment of free-falling, the duvet-enshrouded form he'd left abandoned on the couch, appeared not to have stirred at all.
"Phew ..." He began to rub at an aching shoulder instead, the one he'd managed to land on before rolling onto his back commando style. Rotating the joint a couple of times he sat there performing his idea of what a pained expression should really look like; there was a definite twinge going on. He hadn't been expecting that.
Brows knitting, lips protruding, he sat there looking grumpily sorry for himself. The moment didn't last long.
"Oh you ... wanker ..."
At least this time he'd managed to keep his voice to a whisper.
His head lolled in disgrace, it was a good job there was nobody around to see him - he was overreacting massively. Still, at least he'd had one of his suspicions confirmed - that being in love had turned him into a right fucking wimp; a five year old could've handled the situation far better than he was managing. The not so daring move, had consisted of him rolling his body forward until he'd toppled over the edge of the couch, and the end result, of, course, had just seen him land with a thud on the wooden flooring below. But it'd been nowhere near as bad as his griping would have folk believe.
He was feeling overly sensitive, he decided, that was his problem. But on a positive note, at least he'd achieved his main goal; that being, to prove to himself that he still had the willpower to extricate himself from the warmth of a certain other person's possessive hold.
Something he'd just spent a considerable number of minutes seriously beginning to doubt. It was so overwhelmingly nice to have him back.
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Crawling along on his hands and knees, his life-saver of a kettle had become the first destination of the day. It'd been a total of twenty minutes since he'd woken - a horn tooting further down the street, had inconsiderately dragged him from his dozy, dream-free slumber-state. And since that point, along with ignoring his need for a strong sweet coffee, he'd been laying there next to Jack pondering over the strangeness of his Easter weekend thus far. The previous day had certainly brought something of a surprise package his way; the shock of who'd been hiding inside that innocuous looking sack, had almost stopped his already broken heart from pumping forever - seeing Jack hadn't just taken the wind from his sails, it'd left him completely devoid of all sensible thought. But as far everything else was concerned ,he had to admit ... his Sunday afternoon hadn't exactly been the worst he'd ever experienced.
And the evening had been just as unexpectedly pleasant.
Okay ... true - punctuated with far more guilty silences than either of them would've liked, their heart to heart after dinner had made for some very uncomfortable scenes. But thinking to offer his own unique brand of reassuring words and gentle touches, Jack had been wonderfully considerate in trying to make each moment of fraught emotion as sufferable as possible for them both. Considering the whole unexpectedness of their impromptu powwow, they'd acted in a most mature manner. By the time they'd called it a day, all pivotal points of revelation and reconnecting had been classified as: hugely successful - seeds filled to the brim with hope and expectation, had been lovingly sewn on either side of their slowly disintegrating fence, and, most importantly, each problem as it occurred, had been tackled with a refreshing amount of openness and honesty.
It'd been draining affair though. They'd been left wrung dry by their eagerness to sort out all of their problems at once. So after a few hours the decision had been taken to chill for a while ... 'just like the old days', as Jack had put it. Stretched out on the couch they'd settled down to watch a bit of mindless tv - a recreation requiring minimal amounts of concentration, which'd been just about perfect for them ... considering. Blatantly admitting he wanted to get away with some catchy-uppie hugging, a jet-lagged Jack had insisted on adopting his historical position of snuggling himself onto Ianto's rear, but it hadn't taken long for his grip to loosen and the rumble of gentle snoring to fill the air.
Rather fortuitously, this had given the man in front a moment to react in private. Easing back into Jack's warm embrace, Ianto had lay there in the semi-darkness crying quietly to himself - not just the fact that he was in Jack's arms again, it had been, well, everything, really, that'd set him off. The day of strange occurrences had finally caught up with him, had at last become too much for him to deal with. Reflecting on the situation, he'd been forced to admit that he'd been feeling fragile for months. He'd been on shaky ground well before Jack's surprise arrival and in his eyes, it was still a mystery how he hadn't become overwhelmed long before he had.
With the faint chattering of the tv disguising only the softest of his sniffs, worried that Jack might hear him, he'd wiped his cheeks dry then tried to concentrate on the flickering images instead. They'd become hypnotic pretty quickly and it'd been his own heavy lids trying to stay shut, that'd seen him make his most important decision of his day - he'd put his faith in the Gods - had gone with his gut feeling - had dared to believe that the change he was about to make to their plans, had been celestially predetermined.
Somebody up there just had to be looking out for them.
Whispering the little white lie that he needed to take a leak, he'd left Jack nodding back off in blissful ignorance. Grabbing the duvet and pillows from the guest bed across the hall, back in the living room he'd taken a moment to send Els a quick text. Hurrying in case Jack should wake again, he'd made a point of first insisting there was no need to reply, then he'd let her know that they'd both be round to see her late the following morning.
Aware that no words could ever fully describe how much he appreciated her efforts, he'd finished with an uncharacteristic …. thanks Munch …. I owe you big time …. love you loads ….. Yan. Then he'd set his mobile to 'vibrate-only' ... just in case she chose not to resist the urge to get an update on things.
Approaching the couch again, resting back on his haunches he'd knelt down to watch Jack sleep. He'd wanted to wake him so badly - being able to reveal that he really did understand and that he wasn't feeling bitter in any way, had suddenly become the most important thing in the world to him.
But he hadn't woken his sleeping beauty. His heart had told him that a weary Jack would appreciate a show of compassion far more, and as a consequence that very same heart had almost burst with the frustration of it all.
Because all he'd wanted was to show Jack that he cared.
Because only Jack had ever made him feel this way - so ... happy.
So ... at peace with the idea of having just one special person in your life ...
So ...
So ...
.
.
... so hopelessly in love.
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His moment of rueful adoration had continued for far longer than he'd intended. Kneeling there, looking for all the world like he was silently praying, he'd given himself a while to get used to a few facts - the main one being, that, if things did work out okay with Jack, then there was still a very good chance that he'd be spending the rest of his life with him.
Okay, he wasn't stupid. No situation in life could ever be set in stone, he knew that.
But for the time being it was going to be such a wonderful idea to cling on to.
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Somehow, he'd managed to gently rest Jack's head on a pillow without fully waking him, then he'd gingerly reversed himself back onto the couch, and, after lightly draping the duvet over the pair of them, as a finishing touch, he'd killed the tv.
It was only later that the irony surrounding the moment had suddenly occurred to him - in settling them both down for the night, he'd actually been responsible for a timely piece of history repeating itself ... they'd unwittingly come full circle.
True, it probably wouldn't mean much to anyone else, but it'd been on that very same couch - and on the very first night they'd met, no less - that himself and Jack had first experienced the joys of spending an entire night together. It really seemed that Fate was trying to give them a bit of a helping hand. And with the newest morning of the rest of their fated lives just beginning, now pulling himself up onto his feet to see if his kettle needed topping up, a relaxed Jones the Seer was not only chuckling over the coincidence of it all, he was also allowing himself to feel just about the happiest he'd ever been.
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Over on the couch (and making some very strange noises, for an inanimate piece of material), the crumpled duvet seemed to be coming to life.
"Hey Jonesy ... where ya gone? Get yahself back over here riiiiight now. Yaaaaaan? Ah come ohhhhhhhhn ... seriouzly, it's way to early for wakin' up! An' enway, I ain't finished with cuddlin' you yet …."
Ianto turned back to find just the top half of Jack's head peeking out from beneath the duvet; there was one bright blue eye focused on him and it was already proving very effective in distracting him from his original train of thought. "It's gone nine you dozy bugger. And we both need a shot of coffee, which is why I'm over 'here' doing this, and not over 'there', with you, comprende?" The kettle, once more, was given his full attention. "Oh, morning, by the way."
Hiding his grin, he reached out for a teaspoon.
The one-eyed duvet remained unimpressed.
"Me no need no coffee …. me need my Yanno Jones …." Jack's deep and dozy voice was being used to its full advantage. "Hey, s'gettin' real lonely over here on this big 'ole couch. Can't you just come back for a lil while? Just for another five mins, yeah?"
The spoon was lowered and, with a long sigh, Ianto hit the kettle's on switch. Leaving it to its own devices, he began to make his way over.
"Five minutes …." he acquiesced climbing back alongside. As he got himself comfy, this time facing Jack, the duvet was stretched around to enclose him also, then a gentle 'thank you' kiss was pressed to the tip of his nose.
"I've missed your cute little nose." Jack admitted, taking a big chance in kissing his favourite facial feature for a second time.
Giving his crusty eyeballs a rest, but still feeling the need to respond reproachfully in some way, Ianto opted to raise one brow instead. "You know, I hate to say this but I'm beginning to suspect that my nose is the only thing you've been having trouble living without."
Head still buried side-on in his pillow, Jack lay there scowling disapprovingly at the comment.
"Okay, so you didn't just miss my nose." Ianto conceded, slowly melting at the sight.
He pursed his lips knowingly as an arm began to snake its way around his middle. Reciprocating in kind, he used his new hold on Jack to pull himself a little further onto the couch. "I s'pose we should really be thinking 'bout getting ourselves round to Munch's ... we need to pick up your luggage." Jack's hand deserted his waist. The fingers of the same hand very gently began to brush his fringe away from his forehead.
Ianto waited for the gesture to make him feel uncomfortable.
It didn't.
In fact he was feeling far more worried about the deadly serious look, slowly appearing on Jack's face.
"Yan, I'm not stupid ..." A noisy breath was expelled. " ...I know I can put us spendin' last night, right here, together, down to unusual circumstances, and, also; if you're serious 'bout me gettin' my gear and stayin' here with you while I'm over, I know you'll agree with me that it'll probably be for the best if I get my head down in the guest room." As the finger rearranging a few wayward wisps of fringe shot downward, a firm pressure was applied to Ianto's lips, preventing them from moving. "Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way," Jack reassured him, "I still want us to be a couple again ... trust me Yan, you have know idea how much I want that to be the case ... but at the same time I don't want you thinkin' I've come back assumin' I can just start takin' things for granted ... 'cause I'm not ... an' I won't ..."
Around them, the air fell silent.
One face was full of awe ... the other was looking both worried and wiped out.
That'd certainly been one hell of a speech.
"Thank you …." This time it was Ianto who kissed Jack's nose. "... for not being pushy, and for taking the situation seriously. I can't lie, I really enjoyed how we finished our evening; getting reacquainted with an innocent cuddle was a really special moment for me. But, yes, you're right; last night we were dealing with some very unusual circumstances."
A silent Jack acknowledged the observation with a nod and a smile.
An entranced Ianto could do nothing but smile back at him. "We have a lot more soul-searching to do," he warned, "A hell of a lot more, before anything genuine can happen in the 'other' department - you do understand that, don't you Jack?"
And, again, the smiling face opposite dipped twice in a nod. "We're gonna do things properly this time."
Jack paused to prop himself up on one elbow. Cupping the side of his face with a palm, he looked down, deadly serious. "I mean it, Yan ... no more secrets ... no more game-playin' ... we're gonna be just your normal, everyday couple ... oh, but gay, obviously." Starting to relax in the moment, he grinned as Ianto tutted good humouredly at his need to point out the 'obvious'. "I want everyone to know we're together," he carried on, still as enthusiastic as before, "No matter what their opinion, I want the world to see we're out and proud. I want them to be able to look at us and say … Hey! ….. There goes Jack and Yan! ... And look at how happy they are! ... Those guys might not be conventional, but you gotta feel pleased for them, don'tcha!"
And with that ... Jack fell silent again.
The biggest speech of his life had come to an end.
Mainly because Ianto had kissed him.
Only very briefly mind ... but it'd been a firm kiss ... and on the lips, of course.
"You're making a very good start in convincing me you're taking this seriously," Jack was told with a smile, "And now I think it really is time for me to go make us some coffee. Tell you what, why don't you go grab a quick shower while I investigate what's in the cupboard; there might be something edible in there. Failing that, there's always bread, we could use that for toast."
Watching the love of his life make his way across the room Jack groaned then sat himself on the edge of the couch. After a wide yawn and a bit of a stretch, he managed to find the wherewithal to climb to his feet. "You're still bossy." he managed to grouse whilst grinning his head off'.
Pointing over to the doorway, Ianto was grinning too. "Go!"
He threw his arm wildly out to the side, accentuating the fact that he was pointing quite deliberately. "Els is expecting to see us before lunchtime, so shift your arse; I thought the three of us could drop your stuff off here first,by the way, then get the cab to take us into town to get some Bank Holiday grub inside us. Buying her a meal is the least we can do for now, don't you think?"
Face still red, dented in on one side; his hair as adorably mussed as it was ever going to get, already having made it to the doorway Jack turned back to send the man behind the kitchen counter a confused look. "You've already been in contact with her?"
The pleased grin opposite, told him all he needed to know. "But ... when?"
Ianto had already turned away. He had his head, plus his right arm, buried in a cupboard set at eye-level.
"I sent her a text late last night …"
He began to rummage around, moved items aside to find what he was looking for. "You were already in the land of nod when I ... AHA! There you are!"
The outstretched hand reappeared, "Gotcha!" to reveal that his fingers were gripping onto a box of Weetabix. As he stood there holding it out on show - triumphantly animated by his moment of success, the Jones train of thought continued to be interrupted in the cutest of ways; "Knew I had some somewhere! Look!"
Eyes shining, watching on with a wavering smile, Jack seemed on the verge of tears. "God I've missed you so much …."
Not trusting himself to remain any more composed than the emotional wreck across the room, Ianto tipped his head in the appropriate direction."Aren't you supposed to be taking a shower?"
Jack left the room without saying another word; it was clear from his guilty expression that becoming the cause of another awkward scene had been the last thing on his mind.
Ianto watched him leave, listened for the click of the bathroom door.
It was only then that he chanced whispering, "I've missed you too, Jack."
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"Anyway, I was thinking,"
Ianto was trying almost too hard to sound nonchalant. He'd actually been 'thinking' the same thought for the past five hours, but there was no way he was going to let Jack know that.
"If you're gonna be here for the whole two weeks, you might as well unpack all your stuff." he finished, deliberately avoiding Jack's gaze so as not to seem sadly desperate, even though he, very sadly, was.
Still bloated from the generous helping of lunch they'd recently shared with Els, landing on the bed next to his case, Jack patted the spot next to him. "Are you sure you want me to get settled in, Yan? It's still early days after all."
He made a blatant note of the fact that the space next to him was still vacant. "Are you gonna come sit down with me, or not?" Already following Ianto's orders; his right hand had landed on the first of two catches.
Ianto stepped all the way into the room. There was the tiniest of smiles teasing his lips into an upward curve. "Come on, open it," he encouraged, "I'll give you a hand if you like. The way I see it, the sooner we get this over and done with, the sooner we can sit down and relax; there's an old black and white film on later this evening I wouldn't mind seeing."
Jack released the lid with a loud click. It shot up into the air, revealing quite clearly that he hadn't packed it himself.
Ianto reached in and helped himself to the first item on show. "Oooh ..." He held it aloft by the shoulders. "I see you're still wearing this old thing, then."
A grinning Jack reached up to rescue his all-time favourite shirt. "I seem to recall a certain Departmental Manager tellin' me to get it 'cause it complimented the colour of my eyes." He fluttered his lashes a few times, as if doing so might help jog a certain 'Departmental Manager's' memory.
Guilty as hell, Ianto didn't bother denying the claim. "You bought it to take me on our first official date to Maria's." he reminisced, his smile hinting that the memory of the actual event was slowly returning.
Leaving Jack squeaking in terror, he quickly reclaimed the shirt. Wickedly choosing not to explain he'd already decided in advance that he was going to professionally hang all of the delicate items away himself, he walked around the bottom of the bed, across the room, then sliding back the mirrored door in the far corner, he made a start on performing his chosen task.
His free hand came away bearing a hanger, siting it lovingly around the padded arch he began to admire the shirt's azure blue hue and well cut lines. As he stood there using his practiced eye to align then realign the shoulders and collar, a noise resembling a groaned laugh escaped his lips. "You, you fool ... you were going to buy that bright orange effort, d'you remember?"
Back up on his feet and lifting the next item from his case, a gobsmacked Jack paused mid-move. "Do I ... do I remember?" His jaw dropped in amazement. "You playin' me for a fool, Mr Jones? Of course I fricken' remember ... c'mohhhn, it was only last summer!" Amazement quickly became concern. "You don't really think my memory's that bad, do you Yan?"
"Just checking." Determined to hide his show of amusement, Ianto quickly turned back to the wardrobe. "And anyway it's not your memory I'm concerned about Jack, it's your appalling taste in clothing. I still can't believe you were considering buying something so fucking disgusting."
"Hey ... you laugh away all you wanna, Mr Floor Walker!"
Not unexpectedly, someone's tone had become decidedly defensive. "'Cause I'm standin' here right now thinkin' that maybe it's your memory we should be worryin' about, not mine. May I remind you that it was your second in command that recommended I buy the damn thing in the first place ... an employee that I'm assumin' you must've been responsible for trainin'?"
Looking pleased with his come-back, Jack closed the gap between them then held over a second shirt for Ianto to deal with.
"That juvenile, thieving bastard, Brown, you mean?" His floor-walking wardrobe assistant took the garment from him with a snort. "Jack, he wasn't my second in command ... he was lead menial at best. The only reason I asked him to help you out that day was because at that particular moment in time, I didn't want to have to deal with you myself."
Jack span away; show of smug amusement long gone, he was frowning as he crossed the floor to get back to his case. "Wow, kick a guy when he's down why don'tcha? And thanks for lettin' me know what was really goin' on inside that head of yours that day, Yan."
Ianto kept his eyes on Jack, waited with baited breath for him to turn back and reveal with a grin that he'd only been joking. It was finally starting to occur that his merciless teasing of the man today might've been him going a little overboard ... especially given the newness of their time together. This had always been a particular weakness of his - nervousness always made him take the humour-filled route rather than the kind and sensitive option. Sensitive had a habit of leading him in the direction of something deep and meaningful, and that usually resulted in hurt feelings and a need to escape. He wished he could just say how he was really feeling - it would make perfect sense for him, now, to tell Jack that he'd never stopped loving him, and that he was desperate for them to get back together, but he was useless when it came to discussing feelings, that was the crux of his problem. And this was why Jones the Piss-taking comedian had resurfaced, same as always.
Sadly, he was pretty sure the fact hadn't done him any favours. As Jack turned back to face him, just one glimpse of the devastated expression opposite told him he was right. Yes, he'd spoken the truth of how he'd been feeling that day, but he hadn't meant to hurt Jack's feelings by being so cutthroat.
"What I meant to say, Jack, was that I couldn't 'face' seeing you, not that I didn't 'want' to see you. You turning up out of the blue like that, sent me into panic mode, I didn't have a clue how to deal with the situation or what to say to you; I felt ... I felt ... awkward ... that's the only way I can explain it"
It was time for some major sucking up . "I was over the moon to see you ... and I swear I wasn't being a prick just for the sake of it."
So much for avoiding the deep and meaningful sensitive issues, then.
Watching Ianto's features twitch with an acceptable amount of embarrassment, Jack nodded that he was prepared to accept the explanation as an apology. "Yeah, I guess I can understand that." he admitted. "But you did set me up by sendin' me out onto the shop floor with that kid. How was I supposed to know he had no fuckin' idea what he was talkin' 'bout? I'd never set foot in the place before that day, let alone met any of your incompetent members of staff. I got Els to show me where I needed to go, remember?"
Ianto closed the distance. "Actually, despite what you might think, I remember the occasion with a surprising amount of clarity."
The closer he drew, the wider his smile was becoming. "And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry for being so tactless just now ... because the truth is, I happen to think that you choosing to go with my suggestion re: style and colour, wasn't the only smart move you made that week."
Jack tipped his head to the side, brushed a thumb over a logo-printed tee as he stood there admiring it. "Yeah ….." he agreed, suddenly wistful having caught Ianto's drift without making too much of an effort, "We did have a great time on the Friday evenin', didn't we ... and the meal was great too."
He located the stare of the man in front of him, the man he knew he could never stop himself from loving, no matter how much he teased, or how many secret thoughts he might choose to reveal from now on.
Their eyes locked. Jack's heart clenched as he found equal amounts of love and respect shining straight back at him.
A small, almost sad laugh slipped out. "Okay, I'll admit it was a real shame the mood during the meal didn't carry right on through to the end of the evenin', but that first attempt of us tryin'a get it right at last, was definitely a big step forward in my eyes."
"Maria's was an excellent choice of restaurant." Ianto could only agree.
That was all the encouragement Jack needed. "We should go there again … have ourselves a celebration meal!"
Considering the circumstances, coming from anyone else the effort to lift the mood would have sounded awkward at best. With Jack it was difficult to do anything other than join in with his show of enthusiasm - indeed, an almost relieved looking Ianto was already nodding away.
"Okay. When did you have in mind?"
"Why not tonight? It'll have to be you that rings through to book the table though. They might recognise my voice, and I don't wanna spoil the surprise."
Almost immediately, Jack's mood dampened. "Oh, damn ... d'you think they'll be open on a Bank Holiday?"
Ianto nudged into him purposefully, secured himself a better spot in front of the case. Moving the t-shirt Jack had just discarded to one side, he came away with a pair of neatly packed dress trousers. "Well I should imagine that Maria and her family, what with them being Catholic I mean, would definitely have been a little preoccupied yesterday, but as long as they get lots of nice customers willing to pay them lots of nice Pounds Sterling for their efforts, I can't see them giving much of a toss that the banks haven't been open for business."
The wardrobe was his next stop. One still neatly ironed pair of slacks was carefully hung over another padded hanger. "Gracie pack these for you by any chance, did she?" Adopting a show of false innocence he turned back to find a tongue being poked out at him. He couldn't help but chuckle and felt relieved as Jack smiled then started to laugh too. "All that aside, Jack, don't you think you ate enough at lunch time? You even ate half of Munch's panini and, more to the point, don't you think you might be tempting fate by taking us on this 'celebratory' meal of yours, so soon?"
Jack met up with his doubting Thomas by the wardrobe. With the lightest of touches he relieved him of the hanger. "You know what I think, Yan?"
He turned to his left, took the liberty of placing his trousers into the wardrobe himself. "You think I might be tempting fate, do you?" A firm grip was gained on each of Ianto's arms. "Well I'll tell you what I think Ianto Jones. ... fate can go fuck itself, that's what I think. There is no way I'm ever gonna lose you again, and tonight you an' me are goin' out to celebrate the fact ….. okay?"
"I'd better go find something spectacular to wear." Deadpan was one of the Bastard's specialities.
Lips wasted no time in finding his right ear. "Your birthday suit would be good."
As a blast of warm breath sent his lobe into tickle-mode, Ianto came dangerously close to giggling and puling away. The moment passed as soon as it'd arrived and he smirked as a reply flew into his head "Okay ... but only if you wear yours too. ... oh, and you've got to iron it first."
The burst of conjoined laughter was spontaneous and heartwarming. Ianto allowed himself to go with the flow and roared louder as Jack came back with a pointless comment of his own. It was these small moments of banter, the fact that they kept forgetting themselves to behave instinctively like this, that he was finding the most encouraging.
He began to head for the door. "Okay, Maria's it is then - but you can make the booking, I'll end up giving the game away knowing me."
Still laughing away, Jack wasn't paying him any attention.
"Why don't you treat them to your Irish Michael impression," Ianto suggested, "Nobody at the restaurant knows you as him, do they?"
Still Jack was too preoccupied with appreciating the previous joke.
"Okaaay ... if we're dining naked tonight I think I'd better go take a cold shower first " Tried as a last resort, the comment more than got Jack's attention.
"Um, Yan ... I was only jokin."
"I know ..." Ianto glanced back over one shoulder. "So was I."
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"So ... "
The figure in the doorway fidgeted uncomfortably.
"How do I look?"
Jack held his breath. The request for him to share his opinion had been delivered in a very unsure manner.
He flicked his gaze upward, stared into the mirror now showing two reflections - the one which wasn't his own, was shuffling nervously on the spot.
Turning away from the mantel, he left the neatly arranged row of chocolate eggs to look after themselves and made a point of slowly looking Ianto up and down.
"How do you look?" He stepped over to join him, snaked his arms around one very well-dressed, but way too skinny, Welsh waist. "Well to be honest, Yan, you look like you could do with a few of Maria's fattenin' pasta dishes inside you."
Self-conscious to the point of cancelling their date full stop, Ianto's already down on himself mood was sent plummeting even further. Features crumpling with embarrassment he gave a disappointed groan and allowed the suit jacket hooking onto one finger to fall to the floor. "I knew I shouldn't've gone to so much trouble. Fuck it! I look really stupid, don't I - this belt's pulled up so fucking tight, it looks ridiculous."
Jack raised one finger tutor to pupil fashion. "BUT … ... despite my naturally concerned observation about yourself, Mr Jones ..."
He scolded Ianto by shucking him in hold, "….. you're still the most gorgeous thing I've ever set eyes on, and, for what it's worth, I don't need to go out at all ... I'd be quite happy to just stand here and look at you all night long."
The owner of the commanding hold began to smile sappily.
Ianto promptly forgot that he was supposed to be feeling embarrassed.
"I don't know whether to stick my fingers down my throat and retch all over you, or simply hug you senseless." he admitted, not complaining as Jack leaned in to steal a gentle peck on the lips. "So we're agreed, yes?" He neatened Jack's tie, even though it didn't need neatening, "We go out for this meal - relax for a while and forget all our problems, then it's straight back here to continue with the serious stuff." The pout emerging, was ignored. "I don't know about you, Jack, but I still have a shitload of questions I need answers to, and the sooner we clear a few things up, the sooner we'll have a clearer idea of whether it's worth us starting over or not."
Jack heaved a sigh - after the day they'd had so far, he'd been living under the assumption that they'd already become an item again.
He scrunched up his nose, sniffed upward as he twisted his mouth to one side. "Yeah, I know what you're sayin'," Okay, he was prepared to concede that much. "But let's see what time we get back, yeah?" A cab tooted out in the street. Peering past Ianto and out into the hall, he was looking a lot more thoughtful than of late. "The way I see it," He began to lead them out of the room. "We'll probably get a better result if we tackle all the serious stuff durin' daylight hours ... y'know ... when we're not all tired an' irritable."
"Or drunk, in your case." In one smooth move, Ianto bent down mid-step to recover his jacket. It was one third of a very fetching dark charcoal affair and he was secretly pleased that he was actually going to be wearing it. With a half-smile taking up residency, he snatched hold of his door keys and followed Jack - as stunning as ever in his favourite blue shirt and silver/grey slacks - out onto the pavement. "Yeah ... okay, you're probably right." he pulled the door closed behind him with a sigh, "But tomorrow we talk ... okay?"
"It's a date."
Jack was already scooting himself along on the back seat. He rested his forearms on the back of the seat in front. "Hi, great evenin' isn't it! We're gonna be needin' the tube station, please."
The taken-aback driver smiled into the rear view mirror, then busied himself with setting the meter.
Jack watched Ianto climb in beside him, and grinned his way into stupidly happy mode.
-o- -o-
-o- -o-
"It's really weird, y'know … knowin' I'm not livin' upstairs anymore."
Looking around them as they slipped in through the restaurant's front entrance, a reminiscing Jack sent a disappointed sigh in Ianto's direction.
Ianto allowed him a small look of sympathy, one not too dissimilar to the one he'd felt obliged to offer as they'd climbed into the cab outside Hammersmith tube station, or the one he'd mustered by way of a response to the exact same comment while they'd been in transit on their way to the restaurant.
Sensing that something was amiss, Jack studied the expression opposite. It didn't take too long for him to see that, beyond the understanding look of sympathy, there was a distinct 'here we go again' glazing over of eyes occurring. He sent Ianto an awkward smile then looked over to catch the waiter's eye instead; with his back to them, Antonio was busy talking to a couple just about to leave.
Jack sent himself rigid. A thought appeared to have occurred.
He clasped a hand tightly over the shoulder nearest to him. "Oh! ...Yeah! I meant to ask you earlier ... but then I forgot again!"
Ianto jumped out of his skin then immediately blushed.
Jack looked suitably remorseful. "Did you get your garbage sack back, the one with all your gear in? When I left I gave it to Maria to take care of."
Someone ... the very same someone who'd rather not have been reminded of the issue ... looked down at his feet. "Um, yeah …" The same pair of feet was shuffled. "I mean I never intended for you to ... you know ..." A bottom lip was bitten then released. "Anyway ... you did ... and I did get everything back again, so ... thanks."
Mouth quirking up just ever so slightly on one side, Jack seemed transfixed by the show of awkwardness. He stepped in front of Ianto, brought them face to face. "Hey ... no problem. I mean, I couldn't just let you throw everythin' away like that, now could I? Those things had been a part of me too, remember?"
Ianto swallowed deeply - of course he hadn't forgotten that small fact, nor how he'd made his feelings perfectly clear by clearing all of his things from Jack's flat in the first place. A situation that'd been simply 'awkward' before, was now well on its way to becoming 'really awkward'.
He created a distraction. "Aha ... here we go; looks like Antonio's on his way over at last."
"Jack! Yan!" The young waiter was suddenly upon them. "Why did you not tell my aunt you are coming? I am sure she would have made you both something very special to eat."
"We wanted to keep things a bit low key, Antonio." Jack's smile went wide and bright as he made a display of slipping an arm round the man stood next to him.
Ianto tried not to react too much as the hand brushing just above his belt-line slipped further down to find the small of his back. Jack's touch was something he'd missed greatly. A warm feeling, a distinct feeling of being wanted, began to flow through his body. "Got our favourite table reserved for us, have you?" he asked Antonio, nodding in the appropriate direction across the restaurant.
The young waiter smiled knowingly at them. "Please follow me gentlemen."
"I'm already starvin' again." Jack admitted as they ambled between the tables, heading for the screened off alcove. Just a step behind him a smirking Ianto remained silent - Jack wanted food again ... things seemed to be getting back to normal very quickly.
"Get yourself settled my friends, your menus are already on the table for you. Would you like your usual excellent choice of wine?"
Coming to a stop then rotating on the spot, Jack smiled at Antonio and nodded.
The young waiter seemed overjoyed. "Excellent! I shall tell my aunt that she has to bring it through for you."
Chuckling to himself he bowed slightly then made to leave. "Oh this is going to be such a wonderful surprise for her." he decided, before disappearing round the corner.
Jack readied Ianto's chair for him and waited for him to sit. "Don't ever say I'm not a gentleman." he joked as he sat himself down on his own seat.
"He's just assumed we wanted wine ..." Ianto sat there playing nervously with his napkin. "I'm supposed to be sticking to water or Coke." he pointed out, looking guilty.
"Hey ... look, I'm not gonna force you or anythin' ..." Shaking his own square of white linen free of its folds, Jack began to wave it around in surrender. "The only thing I will say," he carried on, laughing at the dismayed look Ianto was giving him, "Is that I'll keep an eye on you if you do decide to have a glass or two; I was only plannin' on havin' a couple myself, anyway."
"You won't let me do anything stupid, will you?" Ianto checked., still torn between enjoying himself and not taking any chances.
"I'm not gonna take my eyes off you all night." was promised with something of an ambiguous tone going on.
His actions sufficiently disguised by the angle of the starched white table cloth, Ianto kicked out lightly, catching Jack on the side of the foot.
"Not quite what I was getting at," he pointed out, sounding sufficiently chastising despite his smile, "But, go on then, I'll join you in a glass of wine. Just don't let me drink any more than two, okay?"
"Your wish is my command, oh master."
Jack promptly earned himself another gentle kick under the table.
-o- -o-
A minute later Maria was approaching on the far side of the screen - they could hear the distinct sound of her matriarchal mutterings. Rambling away to herself in Italian, she was obviously unhappy at being given something so menial to do when she was already very busy preparing food and trying to run things backstage.
Professionally losing her feisty attitude at the last minute, dark hair pulled back tightly, as usual, and tray clasped safely in her plump, overworked hands, she stepped around the corner and into view.
Remaining seated to maximise the overall effect, both men looked up at her and smiled.
"HAH!" Very nearly dropping everything she was carrying, the restauranteur stopped on the spot. "Mama Mia! Santo cielo! …." Approaching the table she hurriedly balanced her tray then began to hug the two familiar customers rising to greet her. "Oh, Mister Jack ... you are back! And so handsome …. look at you - look at you!"
Turning to her left she clutched her hands to her bosom and beamed in a proud motherly fashion. "And my lovely Ianto ….. still so handsome, too!" The man in question was hugged hard around the waist, almost preventing him from breathing. "Che bello! Oh this is such a greater greater day for your Maria; she is believing she is never going to see you again! Come here, come here."
As she commenced with another round of hugging, Jack and Ianto smiled fondly at each other. It was indeed a great day; it was a situation that neither of them had expected to find themselves experiencing ever again.
"Order your starters," they were eventually instructed. "Maria is going to cook you special treat for your mains – you have time for me to prepare, yes?"
Jack looked to Ianto for guidance, receiving an eager nod in return he confirmed with their host that the both of them would relish the chance to sample some of her wonderful home cooking again. And off she shot, muttering away to herself once more, but this time in a much more affable fashion.
"Well that was encouraging." Ianto decided, retaking his seat.
Jack began to pour them both a helping of the red that Maria had left for them. He held his glass in the air, ready to clink. "Here's to us ... and our, hopefully, happy future."
Ianto raised his glass. "And family and friends who've gone above and beyond in helping us to get this far."
Jack brought their glasses together. "To us ….. to family … and to friends"
"And Maria!" Ianto added quickly, the afterthought almost choking him with his first mouthful. "Bit out of practice." he explained with a small laugh as he noisily cleared his throat.
A generous gulp had been sent shimmying around the inside of Jack's mouth. He hummed his approval then raised his glass in readiness again. "To Maria!" Another big swig was consumed. "Hey, we're gonna have to make sure we don't go home drunk." he warned, already lifting the bottle again in readiness.
The amount of irony lacing a path through that comment hadn't been lost on Ianto; the rate that Jack was topping their glasses up, they'd both be going home drunk, that was an absolute certainty. He wasn't even sure that them behaving in this manner was really appropriate; there was, after all, three months worth of confusion and uncertainty that still needed to be unraveled and dealt with. And not only that, he'd made a vow that he wouldn't drink ever again - right now a wealth of bad memories was telling him to err on the side of caution.
He stared across at Jack's almost ecstatic smile; the hopeless romantic didn't have a clue what he was sat there thinking. It was hard to believe, but the man he'd spent months thinking he'd lost forever, actually didn't hate him at all. In fact he seemed over the moon that they were trying to find a way back - even more amazing was the fact that it really did look like they could be getting there. Miracles didn't come any better than this? Maybe that was how he should be viewing things - he was a worrier by nature, and nothing had ever worried him more than the thought of losing Jack. But it'd happened - because he hadn't had the courage to give himself completely, because he'd allowed the man that loved him, to believe he was wasting his time.
Well they were here now, back in their favourite restaurant, drinking their favourite wine, and if anything the feelings of love coming from Jack were even stronger than before.
So was that all that mattered?
That Jack was still in love with him?
And that he was still in love with Jack?
The thought needed some serious consideration.
-o-
As Jack held his glass across the table, ready to make another toast, Ianto raised his glass too.
"It is a very nice red." he admitted with a smile, deciding to trust the man he loved, to get him home safely.
-o- -o-
-o- -o-
-o- -o-
Starters almost devoured, they were still sober ...
... ish.
"Well it didn't take us long to fall back into the old routine, did it?" Watching Ianto spear and then liberate the last piece of cannelloni left on his plate, Jack reached over to steal a juicy looking half a meatball. He grinned as he chewed, nodded an eager 'yes please' , waited for Ianto to do the honours with the wine before reaching for his glass to take a swig.
Having felt obliged to order the same as before, they were very nearly at the bottom of their second bottle.
It was, after all, a very nice red.
"To an unexpectedly enjoyable evening. Oh, and thank you for not stopping me at two glasses." Ianto held his glass across the table for Jack to clink.
"Absolutely, Mr Jones, and, anytime ... don't mention it!" Jack supped a deep quaff of his wine, set his glass back on the table then reached forward. Ianto flinched as his left hand was grasped firmly. "Thank you …" Jack squeezed his fingers around the hand buried within his own,began to brush his thumb to and fro, to and fro.
Ianto stared back in silence. He was trying desperately to think of something witty to say, but the copious amount of wine flowing through his veins wasn't doing him any favours when it came to straightforward thinking.
"For what?" was all he said in the end.
"Thank you for deciding not to hate me forever, and thank you for giving me this chance to make things right between us."
That went down really well.
"You're not the only one that's got some making up to do you know; I'm just as guilty as you are of fucking everything up."
Ianto tried not to scowl as he stared across the table; Jack was still there, weakening his resolve by brushing his thumb back and forth, back and forth. "Yan, look me in the eye. Tell me you can't see what I'm thinkin' right now." he was instructed. He didn't have to stare too deeply into those emotion-filled pools of blue to find the answer.
"I think it's called wearing your heart on your sleeve, isn't it, Jack?"
His cheeks were in the process of colouring up. Well aware of the fact he looked down at his empty plate. "If I'm honest, I have to say, I'm a bit surprised you still feel that way about me."
"Oh …..." Jack sniffed in a deep breath, "I see ..." With Ianto just a couple of feet away watching him intently, he held it for a second ... then noisily blew it back out again.
"So I guess that means you don't feel the same way about me anymore." He sounded totally defeated. "I feel kinda stupid now."
Ianto rolled his eyes.
Then instantly regretted it.
It still was a very nice red, though.
"What 'are' you on about, you bloody fool? Of course I still feel the same way about you ..." A warning stare was sent across the table. "Just don't you dare fucking say it …"
"I'm still not allowed?!" As Antonio drifted around the corner to see if they were ready for their mains, Jack gestured that they were good to go then refocused on the man of his dreams. "But we're gettin' back together, Yan ... aren't we? We're gonna be okay."
Like a line like that was ever going to have worked with Jones the Bastard. "I don't care! I'm asking you nicely, Jack ... please …. don't ... say it."
Jack winced as the grip was reversed and his hand was squeezed impossibly hard.
"You fuck this up now, Harkness, I will personally castrate you myself. I want this just as much as you - don't ever think otherwise - but you've been back in my life for less than two days, which means we've still got a long way to go. I want nothing more than to make things work between us, but I don't want you and your loose tongue tempting fate for us, okay?" Eyes were widened. A head was shaken. "And who's idea was it to order fucking wine? I can't drink and think ... it makes my head hurt."
Jack smiled at the comment, but only briefly. He didn't want the man with a strangle hold on his hand to think he was making fun of him. "Okaaaaay, we'll do it your way. But once I've proved you can trust me, - once we're good to start makin' plans for the rest of our lives - that's when I can tell you, yeah?"
Ianto shook his head.
Jack's hard done by features, creased with despair. "Jesus, Yan ... You can't expect me to go through life without ever tellin' you that I …"
"DON'T ..."
The hand that wasn't doing the crushing,was waved through the air. "Don't you dare say it. Not now. Not ever. I'm not taking any more chances where you're concerned. If I really have got you back in my life there is no fucking way I'm going to lose you for a second time ... I know I couldn't go through feeling like this for a second time."
"Believe it or not, I do know what you mean." Jack tugged his hand away, fell back in his seat with a sad smile forming. "But it doesn't have to be that way. Think about it ... we both want this, we're both adamant we're not going to let the past get in the way, and in my mind that makes us already there, or there abouts. The way I see it, our home run's just about as close as it's ever gonna get … so this time it's gotta work."
Ianto breathed out a small, but in no way condescending, laugh. "You really believe that, don't you?"
"I have to believe it Yan," There was a look of desperation in those sad blue eyes. "'Cause if there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that I can't live without you, I know that for a fact, so, yeah, no question ... this time we're gonna be okay."
"I hope so ….." Ianto took another sip of his very, very nice red wine. "I really do." he promised, allowing his gaze to deliver the most important part of his message.
-o- -o-
-o- -o-
tbc.