Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other.
Wow…it's been, what, about a month, now? Ah, hehe…sorry, guys. I've had this terrible case of writer's block lately. This chapter has been redone about three times now, and I think I'm finally satisfied. XD
Anyway, thank you all for telling me how much you adore this…it felt really good to check my email and see that so many of you are just itching for more. XD
Terribly sorry about the delay, but between school and a social life and such, it's difficult to find time to write anymore. :(
Hope you don't hate me too much… XD
Special Thanks:
Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder, Manamoon, Serenity.Aglow, me and my story, Archerelf, une see, Kane Shi Megami, mad about books, xrose45623, Princess Attan, arham, xcrimsonwingsx
ESPECIALLY:
Soporific, because I just love picking favorites and your reviews make my day. :)
cottoncandyskies, because you always take the time out of your day to help out Go and Submit Review-chan. :D
graviola, because I'm lazy too. I think we're on a roll with the mutual likes/dislikes here. XD
Acknowledgements:
graviola: I haven't had chocolate in a while, either…damn it, you always make me hungry. XD
xrose45623: Thank you very much…it's always nice to receive reviews like yours. :)
cottoncandyskies: Haha, Go and Submit Review-chan appreciate it. XD And the whole 'Sakura running because it helps her think' thing is actually something I do a lot…if I have loads on my mind I'll go jog around the block a few times to clear my head.
jaishe: Considering your review, I think you'll like this chapter. Hopefully. XD
mad about books: I actually am quite obsessed with eyes… XD I love taking pictures of my friends' eyes and such, so I think at times my obsession can kind of bleed into my writing. XD Thanks for pointing that out, though. :P
Sagitarious Devil: Thank you, thank you. XD It's no big deal about the not reading thing…I understand very well the limitations that life can put on certain things. XD I'm just glad that you're reading at all. XD
Serenity.Aglow: Haha…I'm really sorry…I've just been really busy lately, and then I got sick and then I had writer's block and…bah. It's been a bad month, let me tell you. XD
Don't forget to review. I love reviews. Therefore, if you review, I love you. :D
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Chapter Ten: HatredThe rain had ceased, and a strange hush had fallen over the village.
Not an animal had stirred in the early morning light—the only audible noises in the vicinity were those of their own calm breath. He observed her from the corner of his eye, taking in all the small details that he had never bothered with before.
Her face had a certain maturity that had long ago been far out of her reach. Her eyes had turned from dazzling apple green to deep and entrancing pools of emerald, nose curving gracefully to lips that rarely smiled at him anymore; the skin of her arms was smooth and paler than he remembered, but his musings came to an abrupt halt when he came to an abnormally light patch of skin on her upper shoulder, half-hidden by the sleeve of her shirt: a thick, jagged line of white traced into her flesh.
All shinobi had scars; they came with the way of life. But normally they weren't so jagged and brutally cut as the one on her upper arm. A small frown graced his features.
It looked like something his Chidori would give.
A beam of light broke through the clouds, illuminating her face; her eyes fluttered shut against the sudden brightness before reopening, a small smile upon her face.
It dawned upon him that she really must be a masochist, to love someone like him. After everything he put her through over the years, all of the hurt and insults, she just kept coming back for more. And yet, after everything he had done to her, she was now the only person he had left.
Life had a way of throwing everything back in his face, lately.
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Sakura shivered slightly as a light breeze drifted by lazily, putting emphasis on the fact that she was soaked to the bone. She knew that she should probably leave and change into warmer clothes before she caught something, but she was reluctant to go.
She had come to the realization a while back that he was more fragile than he let on; he was afraid and alone and so incredibly easy to break that it was depressing, but he kept his head high and his back straight. Long ago she would have denied that he had any weaknesses at all, but now she realized that he had more than anyone should ever have.
For that reason, she was hesitant in her leaving.
She was cold and if not for the breathtaking beauty that was the scenery around her she would be miserable, but she stayed anyway. Because she knew that however cold she was, she would never be able to fully comprehend the sorrow and coldness that he felt.
"It's cold…we should go someplace warm."
When he didn't say anything she stood, knowing that he would follow.
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He was cold; that was his excuse for following willingly behind her.
Subconsciously, he knew that he was lying to himself. If he was just cold, he could have gone home and dried himself off, but right now he felt the need for company with a pang in his chest.
It was odd, he thought, that for all his years of wandering alone willingly, he now hated the solitude he was almost constantly surrounded by. And so he clung to her company like a drowning man would a lifeboat, desperate for something to keep his past at bay.
It was a bit like trying to run from his own shadow, he thought with twisted, bitter amusement.
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She found it difficult to remember just how long ago it had been since the last time they sat in Ichiraku together.
At least five years, perhaps a little longer; it felt like decades more to her.
They ate in silence, not that she ever minded the quiet they shared, water dripping from the stools upon which they sat. Again she marveled at how odd a pair they must look, both soaked to the bone in a tiny ramen stand just after daybreak. They were probably the only two adults in the village without the sense to get out of the rain.
"Well, well, what have you two been doing?" joked a voice from behind. Sakura smiled, laughing softly.
"Ohayo, Naruto," she replied as the blonde ninja sat down on the unoccupied stool to her left.
The memories hit her like a blow to the gut.
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Sasuke never thought he would see the day that Team 7 sat yet again in that cramped ramen stand they had once been so fond of.
Once more that daunting feeling of regret overwhelmed him, buzzing about his head like a fly that refused to leave no matter how much he swatted at it. He found it both irritating and relieving at the same time that it still felt so familiar to sit with the two of them like this; he knew that in the back of his mind he had been afraid—afraid that he had forgotten how to function like a normal person. Or rather, however normal a person like him could function.
They were both truly remarkable people, to put up with his presence. It was still shocking to him, after living so long in a world with nothing but fear and anger, that anyone could be so remarkably compassionate as the two shinobi sitting next to him. A long time ago, he would have called them naïve and weak for being so kind, but now he realized that they were stronger than most of the shinobi in Konohagakure.
They had a purpose for living; they had something to protect.
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It was too much, for the three of them to be sitting there together, just like old times. It brought back too many memories, too many wonderfully happy and tragic memories, for her to even think straight.
She was trying harder than she ever thought possible to keep the tears at bay while Naruto joked beside her, but she wasn't getting much of a reward for her efforts.
She could remember coming home from a long mission, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower, but finding the time to come back and sit here for a quick meal with the two of them. She could remember shoving Naruto to the side for the seat next to Sasuke, and trying to see Kakashi-sensei's face while he ate his food.
She could remember sitting alone with Naruto on the night Sasuke left.
Before either of them could see her cry, she threw her money on the counter and fled, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste to get away. Her vision blurred, and this time there was no rain to mask the tears.
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That damned tree was mocking her, she just knew it.
She had somehow, in her blind flight, found her way to the fence across from it, where she stood, holding herself, as she desperately tried to stop crying. But every time she looked up to wipe her eyes, there it was to cause a fresh flow.
She told herself she couldn't leave because her legs were too exhausted to carry her any further and if she ran anymore her lungs would burst from air deprivation, but she couldn't bring herself to sit down, either.
Sakura couldn't remember the last time she had cried this hard. After he had left, she had made it a point not to cry without a good reason anymore. Granted, she had slipped up a few times, but she had not, in a long, long time, ever had a breakdown as terrible as the one she was now experiencing.
But it hurt.
It hurt like it had when she had thought he was going to die during the chuunin exams; it hurt like every insult he had ever thrown at her put together, like the night he had left, and the morning when she had woken up on that bench.
The memories she held were so painful to remember that she had shoved them in the back of her mind for safekeeping. She realized with another sob that it had probably been a mistake to do so, as she was forced to let it all out now rather than a little at a time.
She slid down the fence behind her; her legs were shaking too hard to support her weight properly, and the cold was beginning to take its toll.
It was hard for her, to comprehend where the sadness ended and the anger and confusion began. She supposed they had all melded into one yet again, forming that massive sea she was so afraid of drowning in. She was sad for every memory that had been lost, but most of all she was sad for all the memories that had never had the chance to be formed. There were times with her, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei, with Ino, Lee and Sai, but no Sasuke. And she couldn't help but wonder, as much as she tried to keep the 'what ifs' at bay, what would have happened if he had stayed. She wondered how many more joyous memories would have been created and just how much more happiness would have been in everyone's lives.
And that, she believed, was where the anger began to bleed into the picture. She was angry at him for leaving, and that would never change. She was angry at him for ruining the lives of so many of her precious people, for not staying with the people of Konoha when they needed him the most. She was angry at him for leaving her heartbroken and Naruto depressed and without a best friend.
But most of all, she was angry at him for ruining his own life. She was furious because he could have been so much happier here than off with Orochimaru, living in a dark maze without so much as a warm smile for the most important years of his life.
She was so mad at him for willingly tearing his life to shreds, just like his brother wanted. He consented to Itachi's wishes, he let go of everything he loved to ensure the death of a man he wasn't even certain he could defeat, let alone kill. He had so much potential, so much natural talent it was almost frightening…and he threw it all away. She would have killed to have as much talent as he possessed, she would have willingly gone to the ends of the earth to obtain it. And he tossed it aside like it was nothing more than a piece of trash.
That was about where, she estimated, the confusion began to swim into her thoughts. She was confused as to why he would ever want to give everything up, all for the sake of revenge. It ruined his life, it left him an empty shell without emotion or purpose, tearing him apart from the inside out.
She cried harder, swiftly losing the willpower to stop the tears.
He was so damn stupid she couldn't even fully comprehend it. He was supposed to be a genius, talented in the ways of ninja techniques, always getting high scores on his exams.
It struck her just how dense someone would have to be, to throw all that potential out the window for a chance to kill someone.
She found it enraging, that he would go to someone like Orochimaru for power. It baffled her beyond comprehension that Sasuke would leave with someone like that, knowing full well he was just looking for another body, all for the chance to kill his last remaining blood relative.
No matter what way she looked at it, the odds had always been against Sasuke; and yet he had strived and strived for an apple that had always been far out of his reach, despite the fact that at any moment he could lose his balance and fall back on the sword that threatened to end his existence with just one false step.
She couldn't even understand how anyone could be that stupid.
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He gave her three minutes, and then he started walking after her.
His excuse was that she would probably get hurt if she continued to run blindly like that, this being a village filled with shinobi and all, but really he knew he was going after her because he felt it was the right thing to do.
It was odd, really, because his perception of right and wrong had long ago been shattered into pieces, crumbling at his feet just as everything else he had ever strived at had. He found it irritating that she was the only person in a long time that had ever caused him to act even mildly out of character. She vexed him and captivated him and left him desperate to learn more.
She annoyed him to no end.
But she was the only one he had, so he would try his best to patch her up and make things better again; because without her, he would have no one to lean on. Without her…
…he would have given up a long time ago.
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Her chest was tight, and she didn't know if it was because of all the crying or because her heart hurt so much that it was making it hard for her to breathe properly.
She bit her lip, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face from that damned taunting tree as a fresh flow of tears streamed down her face. There was a barely audible scrape as someone came to a stop before her; her head snapped up to see none other than Sasuke, looking down at her with a small frown upon his face and something in his eyes that couldn't possibly be concern because Sasuke didn't care about anything, and she stood.
She knew he saw the hand coming, but why he didn't block it was beyond her; the slap echoed along the deserted street.
"Why did you have to leave?" Her voice was louder than usual, hands balled into fists at her sides. His head slowly swiveled back around to look at her, a red mark clearly visible just below his right cheekbone. "You're so damn stupid! Why did you have to leave?"
He remained silent, even as she brought her small fists up to beat on his chest in frustration.
"You could have stayed! You could have been happy! You're such a selfish bastard…idiot!" She pushed him, and still he said nothing, looking at her with his small frown and ebony eyes with that unrecognizable something in them that did nothing but fuel her anger.
"Why won't you say anything? Say something, you bastard!"
She shook her head, furiously trying to get rid of the tears that wouldn't leave her face. She pushed him again, harder this time, beating her hands against his chest once more.
"Damn it! I wish…I wish I could hate you!"
His hands caught her wrists, and suddenly she found herself against the fence she could have sworn she had been pushing him away from.
"Don't ever say that again." His voice was dangerously low, and it took her a moment to register his mouth on hers.
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Dani-chan