Affaire De Coeur

.o.

I apologize profusely for my lengthy absence. I never intended for it to stretch so long but unfortunately it did and all I can do is hope that you'll forgive me and that you'll continue to enjoy this story despite no new updates for several months. I'm so sorry!

.o.

I closed my eyes and forgot about Bridget. And I saw stars. Rows and rows of perfect, twinkling, shiny, silvery stars as I closed my eyes and allowed Ryan to kiss me longer than I intended. But goddamn it I wasn't giving up this chance to be this free, kissing him. It was wildly exciting. To be kissing Ryan in front of hundreds of people when I shouldn't be. And no one was even seeing it! I writhed with pleasure.

He pulled away a few minutes later, when most of the kisses were done and the cheering and hooting and hollering had begun. And he seemed grim. And I was puzzled. I was truly and utterly confused. Hadn't he wanted to kiss me?

I stared at his face and saw that his jaw was rigid and his cheeks sunken in as if he were biting his tongue rather hard and his mouth was so tight. And I felt so awful that I adapted the same expression. God! Was he angry with me?

His eyes locked with mine once more and when he saw my face, his changed. His eyes opened wider and brighter and his mouth seemed to loosen and without a word he took my hand and dragged me like a child through the throngs of people until we were out of the ballroom and into the striped wallpapered hallway.

He let go of my hand and leaned against the wall, looking defeated. "What are we doing?" he asked helplessly as he let go of all his strength and sunk to the floor.

I didn't expect such a vulnerable question. I shrugged and walked slowly over to him and sat in front of him, cross-legged, not caring that I was in a dress and it was most likely very indecent of me to sit in such a position when wearing a skirt.

"I," I began cautiously. "I don't know."

"I don't either," he replied. His brow creasing, he loosened his tie and ran his hand through his feathery hair, making it stand up on end in a maniacal fashion. His eyes matched his wild hairstyle. "Honestly," he began his throat constricting. "All I know as of this very moment," he gulped. "Is that I want you."

I closed my eyes at the very words and let them sink in. He wanted me and I wanted him and Troy wanted me. I could be strong. Right? As long as he didn't go and say something even crazier than his last statement, I could calmly ask him back into the ballroom and we could just pretend we had never kissed and he had never said that. Right? Right.

"Ella?" The name tumbled from between his full red lips, affectionate and almost scared, pleading me to respond.

He'd finally said it. He'd said my name. My eyes filled with tears of happiness and relief. And I crawled into his lap and took his face in my hands and kissed him.

Oh why did he have to go and call me Ella?

.o.

My mouth drops. Did he just say what I thought he said? And with such wisdom and ease? As if he had been waiting all this time to match a face with this woman Ryan talked to him about. He was on my side. Without even having ever met me, without truly knowing me. The line ran through my head. I've been on your side since forever. He is on my side.

I am speechless. How do I respond to this? "Well, oh," I manage to get out. My throat feels very dry and I wish I had an ice-cold glass of water before me.

"You make his so happy," Eugene muses, staring out the windows as if this conversation is as normal as talking about the weather. "He doesn't look so white, ya know? It's like he glows when you're around him. Like he's finally alive."

I nod meekly still unable to say anything.

"I mean I always thought he seemed happier when he just talked about you. But baby, it's you. He's so crazy about you. Always has been. And he just thinks he can never have you. But he can. And you can have him. And I, I believe y'all gonna work it out. At least you better. Or y'all two gonna lead two lonely separate lives. And y'all ain't ever gonna be happy."

.o.

"Say it again," I purred, pressing my cheek to his chest, my arms wound around him tightly.

"Ella?" he says, questioningly. "Say what again?"

I sigh happily and bury my head into the nook between his neck and shoulder. "Ella. You haven't said it in ages," I mumble, my voice high-pitched and girlish.

Without even looking I could tell he was smiling. "I was trying not to say it you know," he confides lazily. "But it proved to be rather difficult. I found myself saying el… before many words. I sounded crazy every time I opened my mouth," he chuckled softly. "The term had become habitual."

I smiled broadly; thrilled to hear how it was as awful for him not saying Ella as it was for me not hearing it.

"Let's go somewhere," I suggested. "You know, private. I just wanna get out of here. You're the only person who matters to me at this party. I just wanna spend time with you." Wow, I hadn't meant to sound so needy and desperate.

"Okay," he answered simply, carefully placing his hands on my stocking-covered thighs and pulling me up off the carpeted floor with him. "Let's get a room."

My eyes widened in shock and I felt my bottom lip unglue from my upper lip.

He laughed in a carefree and easy manner. He was more relaxed, joking about our unfortunate situation, not being so serious about it. "Not in that sense, unless you know, you wanna "do it"," he emphasized, grinning good-naturedly. Feeling extra silly, he ran a cool hand down my arm as if he was trying to seduce me with his feather light touch.

I followed up with my usual self-righteous scolding "RYAN!"

And he laughed, loving his name rolling off my tongue in such a playful, yet chiding tone.

"Come on, Ella. We can just talk, you know, like you wanted. We could even stay the night. I'll sleep on the floor or maybe the foldout couch if we spring for a fancy suite. I mean, your mom's out of town anyway, and Troy won't be back for a couple of days. No harm done."

No harm done? Yeah, right.

"Okay," I agreed.

.o.

I give Eugene a quick nod and a somber face.

"Oh honey, I don't wanna upset you," Eugene says. "I just think that you need some reality, ya know."

I nod again, this time feigning a smile.

Eugene grins back. "Much better. A beautiful girl like you should smile all the time. Now come one let's go on back to Mista Evans."

I take Eugene's strong arm and allow him to lead me back to the bar.

.o.

Ryan's daddy's credit card had never come in handy as much as it did that night. With a swipe of his father's black AmEx card, a suite was booked under Mr. Ryan Evans. It was all so glamorous and grown up. Not to mention immensely satisfying to imagine what Bridget would do if she knew we were planning to stay the night in the hotel, together, just the two of us.

Ryan waggled his eyebrows at me as he picked the key up off the glass counter and held out his arm. I gladly accepted with a roll of my eyes, and we made our way to our room.

The suite opened up revealing a living area complete with what looked to be a foldout couch and a "kitchen" section that was basically just a dining table and chairs. Further in was the bedroom with a king size bed and obviously the bathroom.

"Alright; the tie's coming off!" Ryan exclaimed loosening the maroon tie even more than he had earlier and then attempting to yank it over his head.

I giggled. "So impatient," I teased walking towards him and taking off his tie for him.

"Yes," he agreed. "And thank you."

"Your welcome," I said.

A moment of silence ensued and feeling awkward just standing before him, I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I really wanted to get the heck out of my dress and wished I had for some reason decided to stuff pajamas into my purse.

Ryan sighed, walked over to the closet, and opened the white double doors. "Hey look, PJs!"

My eyes brightened and I leapt off the bed and ran to his side. "SERIOUSLY!"

"Yeah! Look," he pointed to the white button-up sleepwear that hung on a golden hanger.

"Take 'em!" he urged snatching the clothes and placing them in my hands.

"Ya sure?" I asked wanting to be polite, but knowing he would be sure.

"Oh yeah. Sure. I mean this is a heck of a lot more comfortable than a dress, I'm sure," he said gesturing to his dark suit. "Not that I would know. I've never worn a dress, but um yeah. You take them."

"Okay," I said edging towards the bathroom. "I'm gonna change then."

"Okay," he answered back. "Uh, don't fall in the toilet or whatever," he added somewhat awkwardly.

.o.

We come back to the counter to find that the food has been served. Ryan, ever the gentleman, hasn't taken a bite of his meal, waiting for Eugene and I to come back.

"You didn't have to wait," I say sweetly, sliding onto my stool.

"Oh, I wanted to," Ryan says with a smile. We both dig into our plates. Obviously we were both hungrier than we thought we were as neither of us says a word as we devour our food.

Eugene laughs as we finish up. "Well y'all just ate like y'all was in the army or something. Damn!"

We all burst into laughter and stand up to leave. Ryan and Eugene start to shake hands and then Eugene pulls him into a fatherly hug. I smile as I watch them interact. Eugene acts more like Ry's dad than Mr. Evans does and I like to think that our children could consider Eugene their third granddaddy. Wait! Our children? What the heck am I thinking?

Eugene kisses both of my cheeks and squeezes my hands. "Go get 'em, tiger!" he whispers in my ear. I grin encouragingly, but inside my head I am thinking, I would if I had the courage to.

.o.

I emerged from the bathroom, feeling much better in my borrowed oversized off white cotton pajamas. I'd let me hair loose from its buns and the waves cascaded down my back.

Ryan sat on the floor in front of the bed. His dark brown suit jacket and to my surprise the matching pants lay neatly folded on the chair in front of the mahogany desk. He simply wore a neatly pressed white shirt, the sleeves unbuttoned and hanging loosely around his thin arms, and a pair of maroon silk boxers. I couldn't help but collapse into a fit of slightly embarrassed giggles.

He turned to look at me and a slow smile spread across his face: a reaction to my giddy fit of laughter. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said gasping for air. "It's just…well…your boxers match your tie!" I burst out, laughing even harder as I flung myself onto the bed.

Ryan blushed for a second and then, seeking revenge, hopped on the bed and began tickling my sides. "So what if they match!" he cried, his fingers digging deeper into my stomach.

"Okay, okay!" I said helplessly. "So what if they match. It's perfectly fine if they match. In fact, I bet tons of people do that. You know, match things like that or whatever."

Ryan laughed and removed his hands, falling back on the duvet to lie beside me. We both heaved heavily for a few moments, panting like worn out dogs.

"Let's see what's on TV!" Ryan suggested enthusiastically a few minutes later. He pushed himself up on his elbows and slid back to where his back touched the huge cream-colored pillows propped up against the headboard. He picked up the remote controller from the bedside table and began flipping through the channels displayed on the silver flat screen hanging on the wall across from us. He rested on an old movie channel, TMC, which was playing some old black and white film.

"Perfect," Ryan sighed happily, settling on the bed. I got up and padded across the floor to dim the lights and then hopped back on the bed, making sure to stay on my side of the bed. I glanced over at Ryan to make sure he wasn't getting drowsy, but his clear blue eyes were wide open and focused on the movie before us.

He noticed my gaze. "Don't worry, Ella. I won't fall asleep here."

An hour later we were both sound asleep on the bed, my head on his chest, his legs entwined with mine.

Oops.

Not amazing, I know. I wrote this really fast and there are probably a million mistakes. But I just really wanted to update. Hope you enjoyed it and I promise the next chapter will be better.