Even more fun, somehow.
Come back next week for the thrilling (and hilarious) conclusion!
Enjoy!
Hun had just finished punishing – er, training – a few new Purple Dragons recruits. He was in a particularly good mood, having just that day wiped the floor with a particularly annoying teenager, which is the only reason he did not put his fist through the wall when he found the note taped to his locker in the exclusive locker-room reserved for only certain lieutenants amongst Master Shredder's army. Hun blinked at the note several times, its contents so unexpected he literally could not help but absorb them in shocked silence.
Ways and Means of Improving Your Life
It might be worth admitting that you are not as tough as you think. You will only be laughed at a little, surely. It's already well-known that you fainted when you got you first Purple Dragons tattoo, and didn't those scars on your face come from a mouse?
That thing on your expansive neck is your head, containing, one theorizes, a brain. It should, in theory, do more than smash cans. Give it a try.
All internet traffic in and out of the Tower is monitored. We know who keeps downloading the bootleg video games. It's not the bootleg thing that bothers us – we are a criminal enterprise, after all – but the games themselves. Pokemon? Really?
Your gym bag should be labeled as hazardous waste. The whole Foot will contribute to buy you a new one if you want. Don't think we didn't notice when a raccoon tried to make a home in it and you didn't notice for a few days.
The eighth floor lounge is not your personal recreation space, and putting a sign up that says "Hun's Place – keep out or get dead" was just in poor taste.
On fondue night, stop hogging the best spot. Nobody else can reach the pot around you.
Change the bottles or remove the labels all you want – your secret's out. The Herbal Essences sure makes that long braid shiny though!
Do you ever get cold? Ever? The rest of us like heat on level 12. Do not rip the thermostat out of the wall again or there will be consequences.
There's only one guy with waistband size 97 in the tower, so those shiny silver club pants didn't belong to Tiny. If you don't want us to see what you wear in your spare time, don't put it in the communal laundry.
It has been noted that Purple Dragons targets have an 89% chance of being located less than a block from an ice cream parlor. Since you're out anyway, you could steal enough for everybody instead of just getting yourself a cone.
The soundtrack from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" is not appropriate music for weapons training.
The Master may not care about who left the can of body spray on the air filters until it overheated and exploded and the tower smelled like "forest musk" for a week, but we do have security cameras and we will release the stills if it happens again.
Stop stealing the security covers for top-secret scientific reports just so you can cover up your dirty magazine covers. Have you looked around? Everybody here reads the dirty mags. We have a corporate discount for them due to high demand. But not everybody should be able to waltz by a desk and see the title of a report on suspected mutations within the Tower. It's bad for morale.
Stop drawing Purple Dragon initiation ink designs when you're drunk. The last one looked like a mauve worm. No wonder that kid bailed on us.
You couldn't operate your way out of an old-time phone booth. Stop touching the tech!
Hun crumpled the paper in his hands, knowing he was going to give a beat-down to somebody for this, but not sure who. There was something in the handwriting that looked girly to him, though. And all the words were spelled right. Not a Purple Dragon then. Girly. Wait…