Chapter 10

The blissful darkness of unconsciousness eludes me now. I knew what was happening. The slight burn I felt when James bit me had been little more than a warm breeze on a summer's day compared to this. I tried to distract myself by remembering my human life but the venom wouldn't let me; all I could do was feel the burning sensation of pain… of agony.

It took me time to realize that the venom allowed me to feel anger… the one thing I could summon. I grasped my anger, my hate of Edward, Jacob and Billy. As my anger built it spilled onto the Cullen's and all those that had tricked me, discarded me, used me, and disappointed me. I let the venom enhance me; I embraced the heat rather than fight it.

Time had no meaning to me now. A day, a week, a lifetime, an eternity; I couldn't tell you how long the venom held me in its shackles. The last beat of my heart was the signal for the venom to release the chains that held me immobile for what felt like forever.

The fire cleansed me of the anger and hatred that poisoned my soul. I had a brief pang of regret that I was losing a true friend… the venom had become a companion of sorts to me. The pang abated as I felt the venom in its new form; it resided inside of me. It shares this new, improved body. The venom is now my instinct and action.

It understands me. It communicates with me. It can use and understand language but everything is new and unknown to it. Its feelings and emotions are too raw. It is happy with me, I think, embracing it rather than fighting it. I know what it wants; what it craves. I can feel its need to reach those same heights of energy that it achieved as it changed me to become a vampire.

I shackle down my body, I lock my body into a motionless state as it screams and demands more. It seems to understand as I explain we will never experience that energy again. It will always stay with us, a clear memory of the heights we reached. I explained we need to stay hidden. I promise I will always keep it fed but no amount of feeding will ever come close to our entry into this new world. Feeding will reduce the feeling in our throat, it won't help it to spread. I tell it we now have forever but we must not let human know we exist or they will try to end us. The Venom tells me it is stronger and faster, it can keep me safe. I have to remind it that we are few and humans are many. Humans will find a way to end us, if they knew about us. I let memories of war coverage on television run through my mind. The Venom saw the wars and destruction humans create and reluctantly agreed. We lay for hours as we bickered back and forth. I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin as it rose, arcing its path across the sky.

I decided to move hoping the venom has calmed enough. I stood up but everything was just too much for me to grasp. The venom had to calm me this time. Once I settled down, it opened up all of my senses for an instant. The intensity overwhelmed me. It found my reaction strange. To the venom, this is natural. To me, the intensity of my improved senses is overwhelming compared to my human senses. The speed is terrifying, but it is the only way to move as far as the venom is aware. I explained the last time I moved, I was a slow and weak human, before it had improved me. It helped me by taking control and fending back the whole thing at a reduced intensity. It gave me more than I experienced when I was human but not so much too overwhelm me again. It let me know it would gradually increase the input so I could learn to deal with it all in time.

I soon came to realize that we both needed each other. We need to learn to work together for our best interest. Since I had worked with the venom as I burned, I still have access to my human memories. They were burned into my memory rather than burned up and the ashes blown away. The venom wants to know more. I started to recall my memories... all of them. From my first memory to dissecting every memory I made during my time in Forks, it all helped the venom see why I found some effects so hard to handle.

From my memories the venom was also able to pick up on things I had missed from my time with the Cullen's and the wolves, much like the during the scar removal ceremony. It thinks it took my memories for its own benefit, not mine. It hates Jacob and the imprint but not the rest of the pack. It respects Jared and Embry even if they didn't know I could hear them at the time. The venom likes how they were angry for me. It feels little for the Cullen's. It feels nothing for most of them. Edward and Alice garner its contempt… It does however burn with interest for Jasper.

"You are worth it," resonates with the venom.

The venom decided it would try an animal or two but it didn't hold much hope that it would be enough. It could see that animals could have a place but only if the other alternatives were unavailable. As a compromise put forward the idea of using the underbelly of society as our main food source, it agreed.

We were in an area with good coverage, trees and undergrowth. Any wildlife that had frequented this area had cleared out when I was placed here. The old scent trails of animal, the venom doesn't find that at all appealing. The scent of vampire remains here, our Sire. We used daylight hours to help me get used to the strength and abilities of this new body. The venom had increased my senses awareness. It only took a few hours but gradually increasing it gave me the opportunity to learn to appreciate the information rather than drown under its intensity. The venom slowly let me control our movements but I'm nowhere near as smooth as it is. We both learn so fast, all it takes is experiencing something once and it is cemented in our mind like glue.

As the day progressed I found myself calling the venom, Izzy.

I am still Bella.

Izzy purred when I first thought my human full name should mean both of us; Isabella or Is, two I's!

As dusk fell, I let Izzy take the lead. We headed for the stench of humanity, the burn in our throat growing as we got closer. Izzy loves the burn, it's not the same as the burn of the change but it is reminiscent. I let out a soft wry laugh when I recognised how close we were to Renee's. Izzy and I came to the conclusion that we had been placed here to take my Mother out in our initial feeding frenzy.

Izzy scoffed, letting me know she is in full control of our thirst. I pointed out she may be now but without our earlier conversations we would have run rampant. I would have hidden in panic from the intensity of all my new senses, and the venom would have gone for lakes of blood to try to recreate the burn. Only by working together are we aware and able to control ourselves. The more we work together the more we are one entity rather than two. We both want that, the thought of one trying to take control with the other pushed to the background is something neither of us likes to think of.

We ran like the wind and approached the house. I would like some keepsakes and we want to find any information we can about what the humans believe happened to me.

We went first to the house. Our mouth watered, we had to swallow back the constant stream of venom. We were both determined not to let whoever changed us win. I looked at the date on the clock. A week had passed. Phil was sat on the sofa cradling a weeping Renee. I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks as she sobbed.

I listened as she repeated, "I can't believe she's really gone. A mother should never have to bury her own child… We may never know why that truck veered all the way across. He had only been driving a few hours, his phone hadn't rung. They didn't have a chance. The fire burned so hot, all we have is ashes. It's not fair. She can't be gone, she's too young."

I was legally dead. Whoever had bitten me had taken me out of that car then set it all alight. We thought of Victoria but we had no way to find out for sure.

We left them to their grieving. We checked my apartment; no one had been in since I left. I grabbed a backpack and filled it with the things I wanted to keep. I put in a pile of photos that I had printed to make up a new album but never got around to doing. I also decided to take the laptop. I put in a couple of books and a few knick-knacks. I had a couple of pieces of jewellery with sentimental value. I filled the rest of the bag with a couple of changes of clothes and the small amount of cash I had. I took one look at the state of the clothes I was wearing and decided to change, taking the old clothes with us in a plastic bag.

Izzy is aware we had been left where we awoke for a reason. She wanted to leave no signs of our presence. She ensured she keeps our touches as light and infrequent as possible. When I collected everything I wanted, she got us to open the windows marginally and douse the rooms with the Freesia air freshener to mask our scent. Going over my human memories had taught us much, not only the mundane academic learning but all of the films and television I had watched before my change. However, I had to make sure Izzy made the differentiation between fact and fiction. I hadn't realised how much I had taken in when I was reading as Charlie watched the television; cop shows and thrillers made up a large percentage of his sport free hours. Charlie's past mumbles over the inaccuracies gave us a clearer idea of details we needed to take notice of. As a human I had been very aware of things others missed, ignoring my own feet in the process. My curiosity is part of the reason I'm where I am today.

Izzy doesn't like staying in the area since we had been set up and placed here. We ran north. When the sun set, we started to walk alongside the highway where a bike pulled up behind us after a very short time. He offered to give us a lift. The way he looks us over leaves us with no doubt that his motives aren't altruistic. He drove for a while before turning off; he took us to a deserted area. He tried to take advantage but we were too strong for him to handle. In the end, he supplied us with our first meal.

Izzy pouted when the blood put out the warming fire in our throat. She likes the memory of the heat, I thought with a grin. The content feeling of a good meal is appreciated but not the burn she dreams of. She grudgingly accepts this is our new reality.

Her thoughts of flames and heat made me repeat the one thing that can kill us. She thinks it is ironic. We didn't know how others hide their kills so we decided to bury the body. His jacket and helmet had too many identifiable logos and images, not to mention they were huge for someone of our size. In the end, we decided to take his bike and small amount of cash for the means of transportation and gas.

I remember riding a bike when I was human with Jake, but the vampire reflexes make it so much easier to adapt. As a human the weight of the bike would have overwhelmed me before I'd had the chance to start it. Now that wasn't a problem.

We did a few laps on the bike to ensure we had proper control before heading back to the highway. The open road is so much easier than lots of tight turns, starting and stopping.

We drove north for hours until when we came across a biker bar. As we pulled in we heard someone shout, "I need the restroom. I'll be right behind you."

It was followed with an, "Okay, see you tomorrow."

We hid in the shadows as a group of girls in leather clothing came out. They set off and were out of sight when another girl came out alone. She wobbled and stumbled towards the parking lot. She was clad in black leather, head to toe, with a plain black helmet. We waited until she had her keys in hand and made her way to a bike before we struck. A gentle tap and she was out cold. We moved her around to the other side of the building where no one would see her.

Izzy and I have every intention to keep our diet to the dregs of society but we will do what it takes to maintain our secrecy. We would have eaten her anyway but the overpowering aroma of drugs and alcohol in her blood made it easier for me to justify. Izzy doesn't have the same hang ups. We need to look the part if we don't want to stand out. Since she is about our build we decided we will be able to blend in better if our clothes match our method of transport. Leathers are a pain to take off, especially from someone else. I drained her body then ran quite a ways to bury it. We rode her bike to a little used dirt track a few miles up the road and parked it so it would hopefully remain undiscovered for a while.

I hope she will be reported missing, thinking she left with someone.

Running back to the bar we mounted our original bike. The leather jacket, trousers, gloves, boots and the helmet keeps our skin hidden during even the sunniest of hours. Between the two wallets we had acquired, we had plenty of cash for fuel for the many miles to go.

A/N

Huge thanks to TriforceandSheikahArts.

:)-J