Disclaimer: I only own Carolyn, thankfully – have you met this other lot lately? Can you even imagine the responsibility they would all be? What a handful! No, ta.

A/N: Oh, my God, I am a horrible person! I was on holiday, then I had major writer's block – this chapter has been finished within the last ten minutes, literally. Got back into the groove, which is awesome, and I'm posting it now because I'm scared I won't like it again in the morning! God forbid!

So I apologise most profusely to everyone – you've all been such faithful readers, and I promise the next few chapters (at the very least) will be as regular as the first lot were. I have no intentions of abandoning this story, so please don't give up!!

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed my last chapter – you're all amazing, and your reviews make me feel confident enough to keep going. All my new readers, welcome, and thanks loads for taking the time to read through! And my loyal ones – y'all just simply rock, okay? So thanks again for being so patient, apologies a thousand times over, and here's chapter ten!

"Evening, Molly," Remus said, clambering to his feet with relative ease and offering a hand to Tonks to help her do the same. She gladly accepted and allowed him to haul her upright, and she straightened her robes and tried her hardest not to blush. She had only ever met Molly Weasley once before – the woman had suspected her of being Charlie's first girlfriend, and consequently, hated her guts. So unfair. Tonks hadn't even been dating Charlie – her best friend had been.

"Remus!" Molly's mouth dropped open, and a moment later she pulled Remus into what looked like a rib-breaking hug. Tonks looked between them, bemused. How on earth did Molly Weasley, fiercely overprotective mother, have such a close association with a known werewolf?

"How are you?" he asked, smiling quite widely when he pulled out of her arms. She was flushed and beaming at Remus – why?

"Well, you know, scared," she said with a flicker of sadness in her eyes. "Sirius Black in the castle … well, Arthur heard it at work and I just wanted to come up and make sure the kids were okay. They don't know I'm here, of course, but … if I'd only taken more care the last time, maybe things would have been different, I …"

"You can't blame yourself for something that was so out of your control, Molly," Remus said gently, patting her shoulder. "Besides, Sirius is one man, and they'll catch him."

"You'll be right, as usual," she said, smiling. "Hello, dear – Molly Weasley."

"I remember you, Mrs Weasley," Tonks said, grinning. "I was one of Charlie's friends at school – Tonks?"

"Tonks?" Molly looked puzzled.

"Nymphadora," Remus muttered in her ear, and Tonks glowered at him. Molly, on the other hand, smiled broadly.

"Oh, I remember! You were the lovely Hufflepuff girl!" Lovely? She had always thought Molly despised her – she certainly kept her at arm's length. "Yes, I remember you coming around during summers … who was your mother again?"

"Andromeda Black," Tonks said, and she could have sworn Molly's smile faltered ever so slightly. Curse the name Black!

"Tonks is an Auror, Molly – she's been stationed here to keep the castle and the students safe from Sirius. She's become rather close with your children, too, with the possible exception of Percy, who I find quite capable of looking after himself at any rate."

"Oh!" Remus' word must count for a lot, thought Tonks, as Molly surprisingly pulled her into a hug next. "Thank you, dear, thank you ever so much … Well, uh, I'm sorry – I told Dumbledore I'd have a quick scout around just while I was here, but I didn't mean to interrupt anything …"

"Not at all," Remus said pleasantly. "Tonks and I were practising Muggle lifesaving skills – I don't know if you've heard of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? No? Well, it's when someone is oxygen-deprived; you blow into their mouth to restore some flow of it into their lungs. Often it saves someone's life while awaiting proper medical attention."

No way was Molly Weasley going to be fooled by that! Or was she? Tonks frowned as Molly nodded, smiling, up into Remus' face. No way!

"What a wonderful idea!" she said happily. "It makes so much sense, of course – there are some kinds of Muggle injury we can't use magic on, and it's just so clever of you to think to learn their ways! Well, I'd better get back to the Great Hall …"

"We'll follow you," Remus assured her, and Molly nodded at them both and bustled away. Tonks glowered angrily – how was he such a smooth liar? If she had tried to pull that on Kingsley – or anybody, come to that – they would have caught her in the lie within seconds, or less, knowing her luck. Unfair.

"How do you know Mrs Weasley?" Tonks asked, as they began their descent of the stairs a fair way behind the older woman. Remus glanced sideways at her.

"Her, uh, her brothers were in the War with me," he said slowly, as though choosing his words very carefully. "I don't know whether you've ever heard about the Prewett brothers? Gideon and Fabian Prewett – exceptional wizards, wonderful men. They, uh, they were killed by Voldemort's Death Eaters – but they fought extremely bravely; it took five of them to finish the brothers off. Yes, they were wonderful men."

"She seems quite taken with you."

"I, uh …" Remus ducked his head. "The night Fabian and Gideon died, the Order of the Phoenix, for which we were all fighting, received information of the attack while it was still in progress. Hardly anybody was available, and Dumbledore seemed to think it was too dangerous a situation for us to interfere in."

"So you, being you, went ahead and interfered anyway?" Tonks guessed, and Remus grimaced slightly, his cheeks reddening.

"By the time I got there it was far too late to do anything helpful. I arrived just in time to stop the Death Eaters from totally fouling the … the bodies."

"What? You mean – Remus, tell me you didn't!" Tonks stared at him, open-mouthed. "You fought off five Death Eaters to save two men who were already dead? Oh, you moron! You stupid, stubborn, noble moron!"

"Their family deserved the chance to pay their respects; bury them … say a proper goodbye. It was the least I could do."

"Moron," she repeated, but a little more softly. They walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall in silence – he seemed to have no more to say, and Tonks had no idea how to start a conversation without seeming insensitive. Fortunately, she was spared the hassle when they entered the Great Hall, and were bombarded instantly.

"Remus!"

"Tonks!"

A second later, Remus had been engulfed by Lady Carolyn, and Kingsley was towering over Tonks looking somewhat forbidding but also concerned – quite an achievement.

"Are you all right?" Kingsley asked calmly, and Tonks nodded, shooting a disgusted look at Remus and Carolyn, who still hadn't let him go despite his protests that she needn't have come back, because he was fine. Yeah, damn right she needn't have come.

"I'm fine," she assured Kingsley, who nodded.

"Excellent. Well, I've just been collecting statements from anybody who was in the grounds today, which thankfully aren't many people. Apparently there was a Hogsmeade trip today?"

"Yeah … I was here. Harry and I, we were flying."

"I know," Kingsley said. "I already talked to him, he told me you were with him. I'm assuming you didn't see Black anywhere in the grounds?"

"Nothing." Why couldn't she keep her eyes off of Remus and Carolyn?

"All right … well, you'd better sleep down here with the students tonight. And, Tonks … I had a word with Scrimgeour before I left the office." Uh-oh.

"What did he say?" she sighed. Kingsley cleared his throat and lowered his voice.

"He says, if you're not feeling – ahem – up to this, then … then because you're not undercover anyway, I've to make sure I offer to switch places with you."

"Git!!!"

"Keep your voice down!" Kingsley hissed, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the Entrance Hall quickly.

"Kingsley – ow! – Hey! – what are you? – let me go!"

"Hey!" Damn. Remus had followed them. He looked up at Kingsley, although not by much: he was taller than Tonks had thought; and his face was lined with hatred. Kingsley looked suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Remus," he said carefully, shooting a none-too-surreptitious glance at Carolyn.

"Unhand her." Tonks had never heard Remus sound so angry – his voice was steady, and dangerously quiet, and … well, frightening. Kingsley let go of Tonks' arm as though he had been burned, looking immensely guilty.

"I wasn't hurting her," he said immediately.

"It sounded like she thought you were," Remus retorted. "Dora, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Tonks said, shooting a glare at Kingsley. "Thanks, Remus … uh, King and I have some business we need to discuss – I'll catch you later, yeah?"

"All right." Remus eyes Kingsley suspiciously for a few more moments, before turning to walk away. Carolyn hovered where she was, seeming uncertain about something.

"Kingsley …" she began in a whisper.

"Carolyn!" She jumped. "Come on." With an apologetic glance back at Kingsley, and for some reason, one at Tonks, Lady Carolyn followed Remus back into the Great Hall. Tonks exhaled loudly – she'd never known Remus to be so possessive before. It was a little scary, if she were perfectly honest with herself. Maybe he was worried about what she might say to Kingsley – or worse, to Carolyn?

"So!" Tonks turned on Kingsley with one eyebrow raised, but he just rolled his eyes.

"Don't even start on me, Dora."

"You can tell Scrimgeour where to stick his offer – I am not leaving the school, not now. Harry just got to know me; he trusts me, Kingsley – I won't walk away and leave him with some stranger – no offence."

"None taken," he promised. "And I knew you'd say that. Why don't you go make sure no students are lurking in the halls, and I'll wait here and speak to Dumbledore about his theories on Black?"

"Fine with me." Tonks smiled briefly at Kingsley and did a quick search of the Entrance Hall and ground floor corridors – thankfully, no stragglers. She didn't particularly fancy hauling anyone into the Great Hall in front of the entire student body to have them berated for utter foolishness. Although they would deserve it, if it turned out that way. Maybe these kids weren't as dumb as Tonks had thought to begin with.

"Nobody?"

"Nothing."

"Thank Merlin." Kingsley leant against the doorway, and Tonks could feel many eyes upon them. She turned ever so slightly so that the taller Auror's bulky frame blocked her from most of the prying eyes.

"Kingsley?" she asked tentatively. He looked at her, brows furrowed.

"Yes?"

"I know you'll tell me to keep my nose out and all, but … what is the situation with you and Lady Carolyn?" Kingsley opened his mouth, but Tonks held up a hand. "And seriously, it's not so I can judge or make fun of you. But we're mates, right, King?"

"As long as you stop calling me 'King,' we should be," the older man retorted. Tonks snorted. "There is no situation, Tonks …"

"Bollocks!"

"Well, there's nothing any more, then, all right? We had … something. We were more than good friends, let's say, when we were at school together – it didn't work out. And no, before you ask, I am not giving you any more details! But it's just strange, is all – after so many years, with so many things unsaid: being around one another again … it's odd."

"Oh … so, you're not … I mean … were you in love with her?" Tonks asked uncertainly. Kingsley eyed her shrewdly, before turning his gaze upward thoughtfully.

"I don't know," he said finally. Honesty from a man. That was new.

"And do you …" Tonks took a deep breath. "Do you still feel, you know, whatever it was you felt for her, before … now?"

"No," Kingsley said, looking her straight in the eye now. "I don't, Tonks. Carolyn and I have both had other interests for quite some time – even at school, she and Sirius had their relationship, and I had –"

"What?" He stared at her. "Carolyn and Sirius??"

"For a good few years, yes," Kingsley said, shooting her a strange look. "Of course, things have changed a lot since then, but for a while they were really quite close."

"Merlin," Tonks murmured, almost to herself. "And you don't think she's a suspect at all?"

"I really don't," he assured her. "But you're the on-site Auror here – if you think there's any reason to suspect her, then we bring her in for questioning. It's your call."

Damn. There was so much temptation to bring Lady Carolyn in for questioning, just to watch her squirm – maybe slip her some Veritaserum, find out exactly why she spent so much time away from Remus, who she was supposedly so crazy about …No! Bad Tonks! Extremely unprofessional behaviour! Very, very bad!

"Tonks?" Kingsley was looking at her bemusedly – she really had to stop wandering off into dreamland in front of her superiors!

"Sorry," she said quickly. "Was just thinking through our encounters – I can't think of any reason to bring Carolyn in. I'll bear her in mind as a possible suspect, though – thanks."

"No problem … well, I've had a chat with Dumbledore, and I think I'm done here for tonight. Unless there was anything else you wanted?"

"No, I'm fine," Tonks said, smiling wanly. "Thanks, though. You go get some sleep – at least I'm used to the madness of this place by now; you just walked into teen-zone and you've been surrounded by the buzz ever since."

"Makes you miss it, doesn't it?"

"What, being at Hogwarts?"

"The peace and quiet of the Auror office."

"Hmm. That being said, I have a bed in the Gryffindor dormitories that's about twice the size of my entire cubicle, so I won't be complaining any time soon!"

"You're staying with the Gryffindors?" Busted.

"Don't remind me," was all Tonks said, but Kingsley smirked happily.

"God, Tonks, you're such a –"

"House whore, yes, I know, thank you!" she cut him off, rolling her eyes. He snorted loudly and wound up taking a coughing fit. Git – served him right!

"I was going to say traitor," he spluttered, "but whatever floats your boat!"

Did she really just say house whore in front of her boss? Of course she did. She was Nymphadora Tonks, blabbermouth, klutz and all around moron, who just happened to have a very strange sense of humour and enjoy her own unique brand of euphemism. Bugger.

"Sorry!" she apologised anxiously, but Kingsley continued to chortle.

"Merlin, Tonks, we certainly miss you at work!" he chuckled. "Owl me tomorrow and let me know how things are once the dust settles, will you?"

"You really think the dust is going to settle by tomorrow?"

"Owl me anyway," he said more seriously, and she nodded. He followed suit, seeming satisfied. "All right. And remember – you, just … just take care of yourself, yeah? I don't care what Scrimgeour says about you being too young or whatever, because it's codswallop, but I'm still concerned as a friend. Watch your back."

"Always," Tonks promised. "I'll be in touch. Night, Kingsley."

"Night, Dora."

"Git!!!" Tonks shouted after him as he swept out of the room, snickering to himself. Arrogant bastard! She whipped out her wand, intending to trip him or something as punishment for his cheek, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Everything all right here, Nymphadora?"

"Sir," Tonks said, barely restraining herself from screaming that her name was Tonks. "Yes, sir, fine. Any sign of Si – of Black?"

"Nothing," Dumbledore said, his usually twinkling eyes dark and the lines on his face more pronounced than usual. "Not that I really expected him to stay around, of course, but I had hoped to find some traces of how he managed it … it really is most infuriating!"

"I'm really sorry, sir …" Tonks suddenly felt very small indeed. "I know I was sent here to keep the castle safe, and I haven't done a very good job –"

"Oh, not at all, my dear!" Dumbledore patted her hand reassuringly. "I can assure you I think nothing of the sort – indeed, I am most grateful to you for being such a support for Harry during this difficult time. I am humbly indebted to you, Nymphadora."

"I thought we agreed you could call me Tonks, sir?" The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop herself.

"Sincerest apologies, Ms Tonks," he said, although his eyes were twinkling faintly again. "I am afraid it's an old habit amongst former Professors – it never does get easier to call your students by anything other than what you knew them as during their school days."

"I can imagine … Well, I think I ought to go check on Harry, sir …"

"Of course, of course! Indeed, I ought to finish up the last of the search; anyway … I feel it is my duty, Ms Tonks, to remind you that … none of this is your fault. I as much as anyone can appreciate how much you have sacrificed to come here this year and protect my students, and I would hate for you to think it went unnoticed. I wonder … would you care to join us tomorrow night, Ms Tonks? Minerva, Remus and I were planning to head into the village for a few drinks after dinner – I'm sure Percy Weasley would keep an eye on Harry for a few hours, and give you a break."

"Oh!" The last thing Tonks wanted was to be alone with Remus right now, or even be around him in general, come to that. And she had a sneaking suspicion Dumbledore knew more than he was letting on about the current situation between herself and a certain werewolf. "I'm, uh, I'm not sure …"

"No arguments, my dear! Remus would be most disappointed to find himself left alone with me if Minerva is called away, as is often the case. We can discuss it more fully at breakfast. Goodnight, Ms Tonks."

"Goodnight, sir," she said, knowing it was no use debating the point. Nobody argued with Albus Dumbledore. As he walked away, she cursed herself for being so spineless – she, who had trained under and had the nerve to make fun of Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody; she, fearless Auror with more arrests under her belt than half her superiors; she, a proud Tonks but with unmistakeably Black blood in her veins – a coward. She disgusted herself sometimes, she really did.

Tonks entered the Great Hall again, head held high and jaw set – she was not, under any circumstances, going to let herself be intimidated by Remus John Lupin. Not even if he threatened to Imperius her ass, she was not going to give him what he wanted. She would not listen to his latest excuses – as far as she was concerned, there was no excuse good enough. He had kissed her – he had kissed her – while still involved with someone else, and hadn't even had the good grace to appear guilty about it. She deserved better than this, and she wasn't going to let him floor her again.

"Tonks, hey."

"Hi Harry," she said sympathetically. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know, okay, I guess." Harry half-shrugged. "I guess I'm just lucky I wasn't in there at the time, is all. I mean, he – he wants … do you think he'd kill me, Tonks?"

"I …" How to answer him? She didn't want Harry to know she was related to Sirius, not when he remained so convinced of his guilt and she had nothing to suggest otherwise. "I don't know, Harry," she said finally. "I was too young to know any great details about this whole thing until it was all over. I don't know what he'd do, given half a chance."

"So we'll just have to make sure he doesn't get a chance, then," said a voice behind her. Harry smiled gratefully, and Tonks steeled herself.

"Thanks, Professor," Harry said, half-smiling. "I'm just going to go find Ron and Hermione, just now; seem to have lost them … coming, Tonks?"

"Sure –"

"Uh, go ahead, Harry. I was hoping Tonks might speak with me for a moment."

"Okay, no problem, sir. See you in a bit, Tonks." Harry made his way through the crows of students, leaving Tonks with her cheeks burning and stomach doing somersaults.

"Dora …"

"Shut up, Remus. I don't want to hear it." There. Short, simple and perfectly clear – he couldn't possibly find a way to argue with her over that.

"Well, too bad." Damn. There was always that. "Things between us have been … complicated, since you got here; you know this … about this evening, Dora …"

"What, the part where you kissed me on the roof, or the part where you acted like it meant nothing to you?"

"That's not fair."

"As if any of this is fair, Remus!" she hissed furiously, very conscious of the students milling around nearby. She grabbed him by his sleeve, careful not to touch his hand, and dragged him back out to the Entrance Hall, away from prying eyes.

"I won't tell you that I regret kissing you," he said slowly, "because that would be a lie, and utterly unfair to us both."

"Lucky me," Tonks said sarcastically, looking him in the eye with the coldest expression she could muster. He didn't deserve anything other than hostility.

"But you know why this can't work." She blinked, surprised. He was admitting to the fact that he was a cheat; a liar? Well, she supposed, honesty was something about him she'd always respected. But this, she hadn't seen coming.

"You coward!" she gasped, eyes blazing. "You spineless bastard! After everything; all you've put me through; this is all you can come up with? Do you know how often I've cried myself to sleep over you? Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to stop myself caring about you, thinking you could never feel the same way? Do you even care what you've done to me every time, dragging me back in and giving me a thousand more reasons to want to be with you? Do you??"

"All I can offer you is an apology," Remus murmured, seemingly unaffected by her emotive speech. "I am truly sorry, Dora – the last thing I ever wanted was to cause you pain."

"You've done a bang-up job of that!"

"I agree completely. You deserve so much better than I can offer, Dora."

"My name," she informed him coolly, "is Tonks." He looked a little putout.

"Very well then," he said a moment later. "Tonks it is. I apologise once more, and I hope that some day you might understand that, yes, I've known all along that I shouldn't be fuelling this … thing, between us – but the only excuse I can offer is that the thought of pushing you away seemed too much to bear. I tried my hardest; really, I did, but … you're far too irresistible."

"Don't you dare," she whispered, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. "Don't dare break my heart and make me want you all in the same sentence!"

"I'm sorry; I merely thought –"

"God damn it, Remus! For once in your life, just don't think so bloody much!"

And he took her at her word, it seemed. A moment later, his lips were on hers, her back was against the wall, and his hands were on her hips, holding her there. He kissed her with that same animal passion she had come to yearn for, his lips fiercely ravishing her own, his tongue caressing her own the way she loved. She felt more than heard him groan against her lips, and he pushed her harder against the wall, kissing her more ferociously than before, grinding his body against her. She could feel that he wanted her just as deeply as she wanted him – needed him – as his hips rubbed against her.

"Remus!" She pushed him from her with a burst of strength, fuelled, perhaps, by the blood pumping so hard through her veins. He let out a short gasp and took a few steps back, panting. The tightness in her chest informed her she was doing the same. She took a cautious step closer to him again, tears welling up in her eyes. He didn't back away, so she moved right forwards, so she was standing right in front of him.

"You're right," Tonks whispered miserably. She leant up on her tiptoes and allowed herself one more moment of weakness, brushing her lips tenderly against his. When she broke the kiss, she leant into him, breathing the last four words in his ear. "I do deserve better." She didn't stop to find out if he was going to protest, or if her words had hurt him – she knew that if she looked at him again, she might not get this strength back. Without so much as a single glance backwards, Tonks walked away from him, swearing to herself that this really would be the last time. It had to be. She could do this any more.

A/N: Yes, yes, hate me hate me HATE ME!! I hate my muses, if it helps!! Ugh. Self-loathing is kicking in right about now …… anyway thanks for reading – please review? I promise I'll make it up to you for the horrible, horrible chapter if you stick with me! Thanks loads for reading!

Alli xoxo