iThink I'm Dreaming

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

Chapter 10: alarm clock

Sam's POV:

I scraped my shoes across the school tiles a few times, imagining what it would be like to press down, achieve traction, and run the heck out of here. It would feel good, a release. I wouldn't have any obligations after this. This was the last day, why wouldn't I just blow it off like all the others? I glanced up at the clock. I was running out of time. Freddie would give up soon, and open the door to leave, and see me. If I was going to run, I was going to run now.

I took a heavy step towards the exit but the deep pulling in my gut caught me from going any further. I couldn't. I couldn't leave this. It took some serious self-examination to get myself here. I didn't even know if I wanted to be here, but the urgency seemed to get to me. No time. No more time to think or choose. I was either here or gone.

I couldn't help him with the stupid project anymore, and it's not like this is the last day I'll see him ever again, we go to the same school. But something inside me told me, this was the last day he'd be holding on. I didn't want him to let go. Once he moved on I wouldn't have any option. That window of opportunity would close, and I didn't know if I wanted it to.

I saw his shadowed profile appear in the textured glass of the door. No time. The door knob turned. Make a choice. The door creaked open. I already did.

His eyes caught mine and he was still. No emotion to give me anything to work off of. That fear I had been choking back, that I despised, was winning. My eyes flickered down and up and just away.

"I don't know why I'm here." I told him, he should know that. I bit at my bottom lip and gathered up the courage to look him in the eye. He was smiling.

"Don't get any ideas" I warned, trying and failing to stop whatever was happening. Or at least slow it down… "This doesn't mean what I think you think it means" I rambled. His smile grew and he took a step towards me. I wanted my choice back, or just some time, I need more time. "Just-just, stay back!" I ordered, he didn't listen, not for a second. Secretly, I didn't want him to.

His smile started to stretch so much those blindingly bright teeth started to show. He was close enough now, and I reached out an arm and cupped my hand over his mouth. "Stop smiling!" my command was weak because a smile broke out on my face too as I said it. That smile that betrayed me, he didn't miss it.

I felt his lips under my hand and I hated the ideas it gave me. He stayed standing where he was but his eyebrow rose in a joking way. I knew I was acting ridiculous; I didn't need the eyebrow to tell me that. "Shut up." I said, fighting a laugh.

It was all happening now, and I didn't have time. No more time to wait. No more time to run. Time was up, and I was happier for it. I had wasted a lot of time.

He didn't need to wait any longer either.

I pulled my hand off his mouth and just looked at him.

This was us.

He didn't look like he needed explanation, but I didn't care, he was getting it. "You made me think about things" I accused, he looking at me in triumphant understanding, "and those stupid dreams, especially the ones I didn't tell you all about, where telling me something." His smile dropped when he heard that I had been keeping stuff from him. He better not be thinking about his incorrect project or I'll kick the dorkiness right out of him, "I've been… holding back" I told him, "and I'm not a patient person." That was my invitation, but he didn't get it yet as he stood, waiting for me. "Come here." I simplified with an eye roll and hand gestures, just to make sure that boy-brain of his got it.

He moved on cue, wrapping me in the arms I had been thinking about. He was wearing a kind of baggy sweatshirt and it was like wrapping myself in a big, warm blanket. I pulled myself away from the hug slightly so I could turn around and get in the proper blanket-position. I had his arms around my upper waste and my arms over his, holding them there. I leaned back into his chest and sighed. It was a relief to finally give in. I internally kicked myself for holding off for so long. How stupid can you get?

"So…?" he finally spoke, and I knew what he meant.

"Yes." I answered simply to his question from a week ago.

And that was all he needed. I'm not into remembering moments, all that sentimental stuff, but I knew I didn't need to. I'd make sure we'd have more of these. As much as I wanted. I could finally be greedy in this area too. This felt more like me. This made sense.

All those dreams I had about this very position, and to finally get here, it was… as good as bacon. This was real, and two-sided. Just like those days in the science room had been, I just didn't realize it. They were two-sided. That's why this was so easy. I had been eased into it and it was comfortable. Not scary anymore, just comfortable.

Out of time. I've never been more happy to hear that internal buzzer go off, telling me I can't sleep anymore. I'm done sleeping. This is really us. And I haven't ever felt more awake.

YUP! It's done. Hehehe, all done. OVER. What did you think of the ending and the reference to an alarm clock and sleeping and all that? It just came to me and I thought it worked.

REVIEW! It still matters to review at the end of a story! I want your final input ;)

iTranslate! READ IT! IT'S AWESOME! SERIOUSLY! Take my word for it! (I don't have much people reading it for some reason, which is weird, kuz I consider it one of my best written stories and my best idea yet) I'm proud of it, so read it! It's kind of one-sided denial but sort of acceptance right now, but you know Sam will crack! ^_^ I'm excited.