Laura was splitting her attention between finalizing travel plans and reading the latest issue of Cosmo when Luke barged into the den that night. Nikolas was being examined by her father upstairs and Laura had been forced to do some fast talking to avoid a checkup of her own. Dad shouldn't have to see what this life's done to me.

"I finally figured out where I know that brooding stare from. Me and Scorpio, we figured it out."

Laura very carefully flipped her magazine shut to grant Luke her full attention. "Anybody interesting?"

"Turns out it's the very son of a bitch who tried to have me assassinated when I first got elected."

Laura was lost. Stavros never mentioned...But then Cassadines weren't known for flaunting their failures where their enemies could see.

Luke stared her down. "You know who I mean. The second coming of the Count. Heir to the man who tried to freeze the world and the woman who cursed us."

Laura ground her teeth together in a heroic attempt to control her expression. She knew what was next.

"You've got it. That rat bastard of a madcap supervillain, Stavros Cassadine. That's Junior's dad."

Laura made an effort not to respond to the loathing in Luke's voice. This was not about Nikolas, this was about his father and grandfather. Nevertheless, she clinched her fists in her lap, as he carried on ranting.

"We thought it was about avenging Mikkos's death or Victor's jail sentence. We didn't have an inkling of a clue it was about you and Junior. Not a one!"

Laura cut him off. "His name's not Junior. I wouldn't have named him after Stavros even if he'd wanted that."

Luke seemed to wilt on his feet at her refusal to deny his claim. She had wilted about as much as she planned to in front of him. That didn't allay the hummingbird tremble in her chest.

"What's his name, then? And don't tell me Rex, because I can tell that's bogus, just like Lucy Johnson and Kay. You learned my playbook too damn well, sweetheart."

She sought the shape of her words before she said them, afraid as she was that she'd trip over them and hurt herself as she rushed to spit them all out, all bitterness and hardly sweet.

"My son's name is Nikolas. Nikolas Mikhail Stavrosovich Cassadine." Laura exhaled slowly, a burden she hadn't known lifting from her shoulders. She hadn't uttered her son's true name since the night she'd formally presented the newborn prince to the Court of Nations. The secret of it had weighed on her as she prayed it would never weigh on Nikolas.

"Cassadine." Luke bent at the waist like he couldn't catch his breath much less hold his last meal. "The Cassadines did it; they stole you away from me all those years ago."

"I said this already. It's water under the bridge."

"He gave you a son, a boy of your own. You love him."

Laura wet her lips, staring at the ceiling to keep from seeing Luke. "Love my son? Absolutely. Love Stavros? I couldn't, he wasn't you." Laura couldn't bear the tears in his eyes or the yawning emptiness inside her where their children should have grown.

He grabbed her up and shook her. "How…why? Why did you have his son, Laura, why didn't you call for me? Why didn't you come back when you escaped? I know that look, you've been on the run for years, but why did you run from me? I would have taken you in, both of you, and loved you. We could have raised him together. Did you think I'd make you give him up or leave him back there with the Hillbillies of Northern Europe?"

Laura pulled at her hair, shoved at him. "I didn't know and it doesn't matter! I told you, Stavros is ruthless and he will go through absolutely anybody and everybody I love to make me miserable enough to submit. He'll level this town if he thinks anybody's harboring me. Helena's even worse because she hates my ignorant guts and my muddy, common blood. Moreover, she hates that he worshipped me, she hates that Stavros would give me all I asked for but my freedom. He'll never let me be or my son, he'll steal him back and take out my heart as punishment. I won't let that happen, Luke. Not while I'm alive, not ever. I lost my life with you, but this life is mine. It's all I have left."

"Not all."

She didn't like what she saw in his eyes or that stubborn set of his jaw. She didn't trust it.

"It's all that matters," she reminded him.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Time matters and we've lost that."

"Big whoop. I'm not dead and I'm not going anywhere."

"Holly, either."

"This isn't about her."

"This isn't 1981 anymore. We're not Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Lorenzo Spencer till death do us part. It parted us, we're through. We've been apart so long, I don't know how I'm supposed to look at you. Do I trust you or shoot you? Do I kiss you or shoot you?"

"I like exactly half of those options. Here's hoping we can agree on which half."

Laura chortled despite herself. "I don't know anything."

"Well, here's something you can take to the bank. I'm with you. If you wanna take on the Cassadines one more time, baby, I'm with you. That's your kid and you've brought him up sharp. I will keep him safe and you. I stake my life on it and my word is my bond, angel, you know that."

"Don't call me that."

"Why?"

"I'm not—I'm no angel. I'm no good."

"You are full of grace and glory perfected. You're an angel to me. Let me help."

Laura didn't buy it. She no longer believed in angels or heroes or knights. She'd come to her own rescue too often to find comfort in the thought of them anymore. The only ones she believed in had died in her name. But not Luke, too. Even if he isn't mine, I can't lose him.

In a perfect world, she'd ask for help and he'd offer it. This wasn't that world anymore.

"You can't."

"What happened?"

He narrowed his eyes to flinty points. He's ready for a fight and I'm fresh out.

She shut her eyes as if she could shut him out, but all she found behind her eyelids was the fog. She let herself think back to those dark days as she hadn't since Nikolas was a mere glimmer in Helena's cold eyes. If he wants a bedtime story, he can have the very worst there is.

"The whole thing was a ruse. I was on my way home from my trip. I was walking along the docks and it got really foggy outside, cold. I felt like I was being watched, so I tried to walk faster, but I just wasn't fast enough. And then he was just there, out of nowhere. Stavros was just there. I screamed. I know I screamed. I was scared for my life."

"Sweetheart, you don't have to talk about this." He was gone paler than Laura's hands in fists.

She didn't hear him. "He hit me, knocked me out cold. I didn't find out about the boat explosion until later after I woke up in a locked room on an island in Greece. The only time I saw anyone was when they'd have the servants bring me food. I wouldn't eat it at first. Wouldn't drink, could barely sleep. I lost track of time."

"You were a prisoner."

"From the beginning to the end, but that wasn't enough for Stavros." Laura trembled. "He fancied himself in love with me, he wanted me to be the princess to his prince. He wanted me to be his consort and he wasn't above playing dirty."

"Did he hurt you?"

Laura dropped her head. "How didn't he hurt me?" She ground a palm in her eye. "I waited for you to come for me. I knew if I was patient you would." She laughed at herself. Remember when he could do anything, Laura? Luke Spencer, man of the world. Street savvy and mad about you. Gone now. "When I got sick of waiting, I tried to escape. I must have tried a dozen times. One of the guards cracked some of my ribs trying to stop me once." She smoothed her loaned slacks, mindless. "Stavros executed him and brought me his bloody balaclava. He wanted to prove his worth as a husband by protecting me." Laura covered her face, scratching at skin that felt suddenly too tight. "He wanted to protect me from the very man he'd set after me in the first place."

Luke pulled her hands away from her face, but she hardly noticed.

"I overheard one of his lieutenants ask him once why he didn't just take me if he wanted me so badly. He said he wanted me to come willingly, like some broken show pony. When I refused him again and again, he swore to me that I would live out the rest of my life as a prisoner unless I consented to become his wife. I told him that I already had a husband and he was the only husband I would ever love." In retrospect, the calculating gleam in Stavros' eyes should have served as fair warning. Laura dreamt of it often enough to render is unforgettable.

"Then, the avalanche happened."

"Boy, did it. He gloried in watching me grieve for you. He would have dug you a grave on the island just to dance over it in front of me. He said there was nothing to hold me back anymore, no loving husband, no family to miss me. All that lay before me was decades in a locked room with only my tears for company." Those very tears threatened again. She'd yield to a knife before she let them win. "I tried to resist, I told myself they were wrong—they had to be; if you were dead, I'd know." Laura thumped her chest. "I'd feel it here and I didn't feel it. But months passed. Months, Luke, and you didn't come and I couldn't get out." She hugged herself. "I was starving for human contact. I started talking to you and you talked back and I knew, I just knew I was losing my sanity. For a while, I thought it might be worth it to see you again."

"I wouldn't want that for you. None of it, but especially not that."

"I figured as much. I needed out of that room, I needed…a chance to breathe. I had turned into a hamster on a wheel with the screws loose to match. I needed air and sunlight and the wind on my face; I needed to feel human again. That's what made me do it. I accepted his offer. I agreed to marry Stavros Cassadine."

"Must have been a cakewalk," he tried with a strained grin Laura couldn't begin to reciprocate.

"Some cakewalk. He was violently possessive of me, utterly ruthless against anyone he perceived to be competition. He had a gardener killed for bringing me flowers every other day when I was pregnant. Kyros knew I loved daisies, how happy they made me in the smallest way. I was never without the freshest cuts in a clean vase, and he died for that kindness. People seem to do that whenever I'm around."

"Nobody's dying around here if I can't help it."

"You can't keep that promise. More cunning men have tried and died trying."

Luke elbowed her. "I'll try not to take that personally."

"Do your worst. You'll never be Stavros. Every trick you've pulled to keep me here has been child's play compared to life with him and Helena as family. You've succeeded because I allowed it." Weakness had not been tolerated on Cassadine Island; the world outside was no more forgiving.

Luke eyed her warily. "Duly noted. How'd you finally get away?"

"I've never told anybody that story."

"Here's your chance. Maybe you'll feel better when somebody else knows. A burden shared is a burden halved. Hasn't anybody ever told you that?"

Laura hugged her knees to her chest for warmth. Half the world levied off her shoulders still left her carrying half the world.

"It was around my birthday when I first decided I had to go. Helena had ensured I knew about your survival; she wanted me gone. But I don't think she counted on me taking Nikolas. He was the key, he was what she'd been after all along: an heir for her prince. I knew I'd only get one chance, I knew if I was caught I'd be 'dealt with' summarily. Nikolas would be safe—Helena coveted his very life, she'd sink the island before she let him come to harm. I went to see him, I wanted to hold him before I left, and I couldn't do it. I just couldn't abandon him. He looked so small and fragile and lonely…like me." Her view of her son hadn't changed in the years since.

"I'd told my lady's maids that I was going for a picnic because the weather was especially fair and I'd been cooped up for months towards the end of my pregnancy. Cook—Akantha—had packed me a picnic lunch. She liked me and adored Nikolas, as most of the staff did. I'd repacked the basket with a change of clothes, some sellable heirlooms, and a knife I'd stolen from the servants' kitchens. I was going to run. Knowing you were alive, I wanted to see you one more time. I wasn't going to stay, I couldn't leave Nikolas for good, but I thought I could withstand the rest of that miserable life if I could be sure you were alive."

Luke brushed his knuckles up and down her arm.

"When I saw him in his crib that day, everything changed. I'd thought I knew what it was like for the earth to move under my feet. When I met Scotty, when I met you, when Nikolas was first put in my arms, but I didn't know. Not until that moment did I realize what it was for someone to be the center of my world. I couldn't leave my son to the mercy of those people, not even those I counted as allies, and we couldn't stay there. Helena would kill us from the inside by inches; one day, I reckoned she'd murder me outright. Nikolas was good, pure; I wouldn't let her taint that. Couldn't.

"I emptied the picnic basket a second time and filled one side with cloth diapers and baby clothes and a plate of lemon-blueberry muffins I hadn't taken out before. On the other side, swaddled in blankets and this tiny, pale green hat, I put my infant son. I thought he'd been dwarfed by his bassinet, but the basket made him look like a doll. This miniature person was relying on me and the only plan I'd come up with was to sneak him out as a picnic lunch. Some plan, huh?"

"I think it's ingenious."

"Dangerous, immature, insane, reckless; all I had left." Laura quibbled, glowering into the middle distance, "I didn't even pack fresh water. I didn't think about it. Just muffins."

"Bet they were delicious."

"The best. Manna from Heaven." They were all Laura had to eat for three days it took for Laura and Nikolas to be discovered by a passing Cypriot trawler. She'd been unable to nurse for most of a day by then.

Laura hadn't touched a muffin since.

"There was normally no way off the island, save by boat, and the boats were kept under tight lock and key. This day was different, Helena wanted me to escape. She'd left a launch to take me to the mainland. I didn't trust it. I believed, believe even now, that she would have seen me dead rather than reunited with my loved ones. But I knew of another way off. I'd made friends with many of the servants and they used to tell me how they got off the island to visit their families: there were skiffs tied up not far from my favorite spot. They were supposed to be secured like all the other sea craft, only nobody really checked. It had been years by then, Stavros must have thought I'd given up all hope of escape once we had Nikolas."

"More fool him for underestimating you."

"He learned." Laura hugged her knees to her chest. "The only skiff left out was in bad shape. It was also my only shot. I untied it and shoved it into the tide. I prayed with every step that I wasn't dooming my son to a watery grave, but I was out of options. There was no other way out. Somehow, we survived to start running and we haven't stopped."

Luke snatched a crimson afghan off the back of an armchair to draw it around her shoulders. She didn't refuse when he grabbed hold of her hand.

"You did a lot of travelling, huh? Tell me about that. Where'd you go, what'd you see? Do anything fun?"

"What didn't I do?" Laura relented, the fight seeping from her in a dribs and drabs.

"You must have had a favorite bolt-hole someplace. You seemed pretty hot for Turkey before now."

"Nikolas and I are at the beck and call of our stomachs. If it smells good, we've got to give it a try." Laura combed the fringe of the knitted throw enshrouding her shoulders. It smelt of him. "Neither of us ever wanted to leave Marrakesh. Nikky was two and a half and so beloved by the den grandmothers and aunts of our building I never had to look far to find a sitter while I worked. I could hardly keep him in my arms for more than an hour before someone came to tote him off for a playdate."

"What made you get out of there, if you liked it so much?"

"The same ghost that always does. Somebody ratted us out when they saw the medallion hanging from Nikolas's crib." Laura rubbed her breastbone where her medallion tended to fall. "It was stupid to have it out there like that, but it was his and I saw no reason he shouldn't have what was his." She berated herself, "I got too comfortable, too trusting of the kindness of strangers. I try not to make those mistakes anymore."

"Trusting me is not a mistake, I'll prove it to you."

"You can try."

He laughed and kissed her temple. "That's not much for progress, but I'll take it." He pulled her into his arms, blanket and all. "Mad woman. What am I gonna do with you?"

Never let me go, she dared to think.

In the safe haven of the upstairs den, Laura let herself live that fantasy. And if it dug deep and took root in her battered heart, who else would know? There were secrets Laura would knowingly take to the grave. This hour would be one more.

But as Luke wound his idle hands into her hair, Laura began to wonder.

Something had changed with these burdens she'd shared that hadn't sent him running. Some part of Luke Spencer was hers again; the difficulty, the danger would be in letting go. This shouldn't be so damned hard.

Laura realized with a start where she'd gone all wrong.

She'd allowed herself to begin to hope.