Chapter 10

Day three, part three

Fox McCloud wasn't drunk. When he was drunk, he was out in the vacuum of space, free of the heavy burden of the atmosphere that held back his motions. He was alone on a stage with no one around to see him goof up. He was in his Arwing while walking down Corneria Main.

He was none of those things now. Even if he were, he'd still be able to handle his ship perfectly. He'd proven it many times before, both in the air and on the land. But he'd taken in just enough that he wasn't completely himself.

The black oblivion stretched endlessly before him, twinkling with the light of distant stars. Nearby, he could see the other Arwings, the military escorts, and the carrier he knew Wolf was on. Though seeing space had always been comforting to him before, it did little now, even when viewed from the inside of his Arwing. They were moving dreadfully slow, so he'd kicked in the autopilot so it wouldn't drive him crazy.

A solid twenty hours later, they'd be in Corneria. The banquet. He remembered how it was last time: a massive social with too much food and enough alcohol to make his current state look dead-sober. People who wanted to talk to him but had nothing to say. Too much attention, too much of the spotlight. The speeches. Oh, he hated the speeches. He'd get up there and say something that made him look like an idiot, and everyone in the crowd would glance at each other, and, if they weren't saying it, they were thinking it: "We had to rely on this kid to save our lives?" By the end of the ordeal, there had been nothing to gain for him except for countless attempts to get in his pants.

It felt good to lose himself to the pleasant buzz from all the empty bottles back in the carrier, to get away from the rest of life, which wasn't looking too bright. Word of his scuffle with Falco must have traveled quickly, because now it seemed that the team was suspicious. When they were prepping to launch, he'd felt like an outsider. The stares he was getting from the team were becoming more and more difficult to ignore. At this point, the only one whose company didn't frustrate him was Slippy.

Wolf had been there, too. To his credit, he had kept close, giving Fox a sympathetic eye, and once, a warm paw on the shoulder. But that just made it worse, and he ended up having to glower at Wolf to keep him away.

His comm lit up, causing his eyes to snap open. Looking at the clock, he saw that an hour had passed since he'd last checked. He ignored the chiming for a few seconds before finally touching the screen for more information.

It was Wolf. Half-annoyed and half-grateful, he accepted the link.

"Yeah?"

From his room aboard the carrier, he could see the city sprawling out around him. Earlier in his life, he would have stared out the same window and seen just a hodgepodge collection of structures, but now he saw something greater. Life pulsed from the city, and every passerby seemed not just as a dot, but as a separate entity, going on its own way. He wouldn't have the same privilege for much longer. He felt like he was drifting in a limbo, waiting for it all to end. Hell, Star Fox was his hospice.

A sharp rap on the door caught his attention. He grunted at the interruption, but went to the door nonetheless. By the time he got over to it, he was sure it was Fox at the door, so he pressed the open button without looking. When a blue-feathered falcon stood before him, he could only blink at it for a while.

The bird spoke first, with a practiced ease. "Launch is soon."

"I'm aware."

"I know."

The bird didn't say anything else. It was a trap, but he couldn't help asking, "Then why come here?"

"Because, man..." He paused as if to gather his thoughts, but the way he rubbed his chin seemed too theatrical to be genuine. "I just wanted to apologize, for how I acted earlier."

Wolf cocked an eyebrow. "Huh. You're shitting me."

"No, no." He shook his head, looking like he was trying not to look smug. "I'm perfectly serious. If I'dve known you and Fox were fucking behind my back, I really would've—"

The bird's beak was much harder than it looked; it made a resounding crack and left Wolf shaking his hand to deaden the pain, but one good strike was all it took to shut the bird up.

It shut Wolf up, too. For a while, neither of them could speak, and beyond the initial burst of anger, he was surprised at how calm he felt. He wasn't upset at himself, even, for doing something that stupid—if this were a test, he'd just failed it, and whatever chances he had at concealing his affair he'd completely snuffed out. But now Falco was eying him, and he knew the bird was waiting for him to make a move.

"Got anything else to say?"

"What'd you do to Fox?"

"Nothing."

"Hah. Even if Fox were into guys, he'd never like an asshole like you."

So much for subtlety. "Yeah, well, he is and he does."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" The bird was getting uncomfortably close. "I think I'd know my best friend were gay. You hardly even know him."

"He isn't gay, and I think I know him pretty well."

"Well, he obviously doesn't know you, or he'd have already deported you." Falco shoved the other, sending him stumbling back a few steps, but Wolf maintained his composure.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see. How'd you figure it out, anyway?"

"Magic." The bird grinned.

"You're not bright enough to do it on your own. Who told you?"

"I, uh..."

"Yeah, I thought so." He hoped it was Fox, finally admitting everything—it would be for the best, after all—but that couldn't be it. The pup was way too insecure for his own good. "The hare, right?"

"Why do you care?"

Wolf growled, less from anger than to intimidate. "Because when you care about somebody, you care about the things they care about, too."

"You're disgusting, and a terrible actor."

"Oh, waaaaaaah," he mimed, starting to lose his patience. "Two people enjoying their lives together too much for you to take? Jealous 'cause you've been single your whole life."

Falco winced. "Whatever. Enjoy it while you can, 'cause as soon as he realizes how big of a dick you are, you're going right back into the pit you crawled from."

"It doesn't matter," Wolf said to spite him, "because I'm not going to be here for long, anyway."

"Oh?" Falco's face lit up, and Wolf regretted the words immediately. "Too bad for Fox, then…"

Wolf growled and balled a fist. "You should probably leave before you say something that earns you a broken beak."

"Alright, alright... jeez, you're so sensitive. I feel terrible for the girl—oh, wait, guy—who has to deal with it every day."

Fortunately for the bird, he was already walking out the door as he spoke. Wolf gritted his teeth and punched the wall, but doing so brought him no peace. He wanted to blow something up. Wanted to shoot down a hundred enemies. Wanted to strangle a certain blue falcon.

None of those things were possible. The frustration and anger had nowhere to go, so he did the only thing he knew how to do:

He punched the wall again and thought, Man, Fox is gonna be pissed.

(If he knows.)

"Stupid military ships," came Wolf's voice. He didn't have a visual, but the sound came through nonetheless. "I bet they still use G-thrusters."

"Heh. Yeah." One of the guards was in front of him, and Fox could see the outline of its boosters. It wasn't G-series, but it was still pretty bad. "And PhaseTaze blasters."

"Don't mess with Taze, pup."

Fox scoffed. "What, had those on your first ship?"

"When I was twelve, or something."

Fox noted that the hesitance in Wolf's voice was gone now; in fact, it had disappeared only minutes into their conversation, so he felt a bit silly for worrying over it. He couldn't deny that their talk had boosted his mood, either. He hadn't been expecting a VOIP-esque call, but he couldn't complain.

"Fox?"

"Huh?"

"Something up?"

Odd, for Wolf. Fox shook his head, forgetting momentarily that the other couldn't see him. "Just thinking."

"Well... I'm gonna go take a walk."

"Oh? That sounds so manly and intimidating."

"Shut it up, will ya? I haven't been on a flight this long in... ever. My poor ass."

"Oh?" Fox snickered under his breath. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Mmm, kinky." Fox could hear the leer in his voice. "But I think we'd better start with the basic stuff first."

Fox felt his jumpsuit get a little tighter. "How basic are we talking, here?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe you should tell me."

"I asked you first."

The older canine laughed. "If your memory still serves you well, you should know that I've always been more for showing than telling."

He recalled the first time his then rival had pressed up against him. Now, feeling Wolf's sensual voice resonate within him, he found the feelings to be equal. "I like your style."

Fox could sense Wolf's grin, even though they were separated by the frozen vacuum of space. "But I was serious about the walk. I'll see you tonight."

The link ended, making the sound system release a short pop. He was just about to lie back in his seat and doze for a bit, but he saw a notification on his console that stopped him:

New messages: 5

Wondering who would be trying to contact him through messages, he opened them up—and saw that they were from Falco.

hey | what are you doing | your comm link is busy | okay then | send me a message or something

Leaving such a vague message didn't suit Falco. In fact, it was unlike the bird to message him at all if his line were busy. Fox sent a message back to Falco: Hey, what's up?

It was a while before he got a reply. Falco is typing… flashed on the screen for a few seconds, then disappeared, then flashed again.

i think I'm the one who should be asking that question

Fox wrote back, wat, and reclined farther back in his chair. He brought the map into focus on his HUD, and saw that they were a quarter of the way to their destination. They'd make it back in time for the banquet, although barely.

Falco's reply came: u know what I'm talking about

Fox shifted in his seat. I'm afraid I don't.

or are you just too much of a pussy to say it? Before Fox could forge his thoughts into a coherent message, Falco continued. dude | I know what's going on

Fox bit his lip. Going on?

with u

Fox's fur bristled. It has to be something else. A joke for revenge, maybe, or something about the banquet. How could Falco know?

u and wolf

He had to reread the message three times before he could believe it. What do you mean?

i mean… Falco is typing blinked in and out a few times. he do anything to you?

Fox took a deep breath. Tendrils of cold crept up the sides of his head. Falco… tell me what you heard, OK?

didn't hear much, Falco wrote. only that you 2 are... you kno | is it true?

Fox thought for a while, just staring down at the console. He realized only when he went to type his response that he'd been chewing his claws. Yes, it's true. | And?

The screen stood motionless, and Fox wished he had the confidence his words exuded. The dot showing their current location paced onwards on the map, and he gritted his teeth.

so your gay then?

No.

bi?

What does it matter? He didn't want to have this discussion by text messages; he didn't want to have this conversation at all. I just do what feels right.

why didnt you tell anyone? | before now, I mean

Did it matter? It never has until now. and my business my business.

you didn't think it was important?

I like girls, Fox wrote.

well, wolf isn't a girl.

Gee, I didn't notice.

what about him? gay?

If you're so interested, why dont you go ask him yourself?

I'd rahter not | almost broke my fucking beak last we talked

Fox's fur bristled. You talked to him?

uh, duh

About what? Fox had to retype the sentence several times because his fingers were slipping and hitting the wrong keys. Calm down. Wolf wouldn't tell him. Or would he?

stuff

I'm not playing around. What'd he say?

a bunch of BS

This wasn't getting Fox anywhere, and he knew it. He decided he would just ask directly: How did you find out? There was no response, so he added, Did Wolf tell you? and felt guilty immediately afterwards.

why dont you ask your boyfriend what happened?

Fox had He's not my typed out before deleting it. It felt like the icy clutches of space had reached into his Arwing and threatened to consume him. Who else knows?

everyone now

"Dammit," he said aloud, punching the control panel, causing the display to flicker. What about the others? | People not on the team?

no, man | that's not their business

At least there was still some hope, he thought bitterly, but with the rate it was spreading, he would be the laughingstock of Corneria any second. What it would be like at the banquet if everyone there knew him?

you ok?

No. Fox wrote back. Do you have any idea how fucking hard this is for me?

then just stop, it's not like wolf's forcing you to do anything, is he?

It could be that simple. This whole ordeal could just be an embarrassing secret that nobody ever spoke of again. Maybe he'd never like another male. And Fox felt like an ass for considering it. No, Falco. | He's not. | Will you shut up and stop asking?

u sure

read | what | I | just | said. He pounded on the keys, wishing he could reach through and break Falco's beak for real, because he never knew when to shut up. I'm the one who started it, don't tell me it's his fault.

he's got nothing to lose and he can bs the fuck out of you, of course he'd agree! | he even said he's gonna ditch you soon

Fox growled. Another spike of rage hit him, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and wait it out. He was angry at Falco for caring about him, and he'd rushed to the defense of someone who'd lied to his muzzle only minutes earlier. And he was angry at himself for feeling that way.

What all had Wolf told Falco? What all hadn't Wolf told Fox?

He switched off the conversation. Truth was, he didn't know, and just then, he didn't care. If Wolf hadn't outed him, he'd at least lied to him. The icy sting of betrayal hurt more than any wound he'd ever taken.

Dimly, he saw the comm link light up, but he ignored it. All he could do was rest his head in his paws and wait it out. They would be stopping soon to sleep for the night, he knew, and he was pretty tired. Maybe he would feel better in the morning, if he could live through the night—maybe all of his problems would be gone when he woke up.

He couldn't help wondering if he still had a team.

It was an hour later before he got a comm request that wasn't from the team or from Wolf. An older husky appeared on the screen, looking a bit harried. "McCloud, sir. We'll be reaching the station in half an hour."

"Okay." He stared back at the image, waiting for the link to terminate, but it didn't.

"Sir, your teammates have been trying to contact you. They say they've been unable to get through."

Fox nodded. "I know."

"Is your ship functioning correctly?"

"Everything is fine."

"They would appreciate it if you would call them, sir."

Another nod, this time brisker. "I know. That's all?"

The husky's ears drooped a bit. "Yes, that's all."

The link switched off, and Fox felt another flash of anger. At least the husky hadn't seemed to be in the know. Leaning back in his seat, Fox sighed. Part of him wanted to return the calls, but he was too angry, too frustrated, and too tired to do it. He'd say something he'd regret.

He could see the station when it came into view. It wasn't the biggest one he'd ever seen, and it was one of the older cubic models, but it looked large enough to accommodate the carrier. Just to have something to distract him, Fox switched off the autopilot and went to docking his ship manually.

The fighter bay was large enough to easily accommodate all of their Arwings; it was more like a hangar in a ship warehouse than anything else. Fox was neither the first nor the last to arrive, but he was the last to exit his ship, stepping out into the bay. All he could see was cold, gray metal all around him, except for the occasional bright gleam of a ship or a logo.

He looked away from the others—all of them were there except Wolf, who'd docked on a different level—and followed the attendant, a short mink, to the elevator. If the others were staring at him, he didn't see them doing it, but he certainly thought he could feel their eyes on him. Once or twice, someone tapped him to get his attention, and he could swear he heard Peppy call his name once, but he ignored it. As long as there was a witness around, he could safely ignore them.

The elevator opened and they stepped out into a hall that felt a bit more homely than the hangar had, though it still wasn't nearly as nice as the Great Fox's halls were—not that it mattered, as they were now scattered throughout the system with the explosion of the Aparoid homeworld. They stood around for a few minutes before the other elevator, adjacent to them, opened and admitted Wolf.

Fox couldn't help looking at him. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Fox saw that the other was lightly frowning at him. It wasn't an angry expression, but rather a sorrowful, regretful one. Fox looked way as soon as he could, wondering what the others had said to him.

"The rooms are on this hall," the mink was saying, but Fox wasn't listening too closely. She said something else, but he missed it.

"I assume you'll be rooming with Wolf, Fox?" Peppy said, looking at him. Fox couldn't hold the hare's eyes for long, and though he couldn't detect any malice in his voice, he thought it held an edge of mockery.

"Actually," the mink said, "we have enough free rooms to give each of you a separate chamber."

"I figured," the hare said, "but I thought—"

"I want a room of my own, thanks." Fox tried to keep the venom out of his voice, but he couldn't help glaring at Peppy, whose ears wilted under his gaze.

"Alright," the attendant said. "Here are the keys..." He produced some communicator chips from somewhere and handed one to each of them. None of the others bothered asking about taking roommates, though they usually did whenever they stopped somewhere.

As soon as he had his chip in, he followed the instructions to his room, which was just down the hall. Someone was behind him, but he didn't think much of it until he stopped to open his door, and the footsteps stopped.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Wolf. He felt like he should say something, but he couldn't make himself speak.

"Fox..." Wolf scratched his ears and grunted, as if in frustration. "I screwed up, but now we're even. Let's not make a big deal of this, okay?"

This is perfect. Invite him in, work out your differences, and everything will be fine.

Except that it wouldn't, because now everyone knew. "I'll see you tomorrow," Fox said, trying not to look at him. He stepped into his room and shut the door behind him, and just that quickly, the regret hit him. He looked out the peephole to see Wolf still frowning at the door, but it was too late; the damage had already been done, and before Fox could do anything, Wolf vanished

It sickened Fox to know that Wolf was right. Wolf had only done to Fox exactly what the younger pilot had done to him. It sickened Fox to know that Wolf was on his doorstep asking for forgiveness and he didn't have the balls to grant it, whereas earlier, the older pilot had taken Fox's apology in full and hopped aboard a foreign ship with a bunch of former enemies, all at Fox's behest.

A few minutes later, the valet brought up his suitcase. Fox showered and spent the next thirty minutes grooming himself. He noted that had he taken Wolf in, the older canine might have done it for him, and then felt silly for thinking it. It wasn't like they were that serious.

Were they?

When he lay in the bed, he stared at the ceiling, uninterested in sleep despite his fatigue. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw Wolf looking back at him, ears low, brashness charmed. The way his muzzle pulled back slightly when Fox cut off his apology. Fox knew Wolf's answer to that question, though his former rival would never admit it, and the thought formed a pit in his stomach that wouldn't go away.

This was all a sharp reminder of why he'd never taken Krystal's advice before, because he had a major public appearance upcoming at the banquet and the last thing he needed was to be distracted by his love life.