I finally posted this! I apologize to everybody who was waiting for me to post this. School's winding down, and I was slowly adjusting to life without soccer. But, I finally got my lazy butt around to posting the parades chapter, so all is well. If only school were out..

Anyway, enjoy!

Parades: (Puh-rades) Events that involve the entire band marching in the same direction in unison, which, of course, creates problems.

How many times a year do you hear the dreaded "P" word? Once? Twice? Or, perhaps even three or four times? Parades are a chance for a band to make a public appearance at an event that non-band people will actually attend.

Some bands make the most of this, while others don't really care. Not that the students' opinions matter at all, as all band directors look upon parades as events in which they can show the general public that marching band is worthwhile.

Since your band is participating in a parade where people will actually see you and judge the band, you know what that means: practice, practice, practice!

Parade Practice:

The first thing every band learns before a parade is parade block; though it is quite similar to any other block form, the band directors love to take time to go over it nonetheless.

At the head of every band marching in a parade are the people carrying the banner, which announces the school and band, and the drum majors. The poor souls who are your drum majors have to march the parade backwards, while directing the band and steering them around corners.

Next, depending on the band, comes either the woodwinds or the brass; some directors prefer brass up front, while others prefer the woodwinds. Some might even have a brass-woodwind-brass-woodwind lineup going on.

At the tail end come the drums, banging in all their glory. No matter where you are, you can always hear the drumline.

The color guard, depending on the director, either takes their place before the drum majors, after the drums, or in between rows of band members. The latter looks rather cool when they are spinning their flags.

Anyway, once the director gets everybody lined up to his/her satisfaction, the band begins to rehearse the music and marching, and, if you're really special, you may actually get to try doing it together! ...over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over….

Usually the metronome (everyone's favorite device) is on as well, deafening various band members as the block passes in front of it.

Corners are torture—plain and simple. The person on the outside of each line has to take gargantuan steps, the person on the inside of the line has to take tiny steps, and everyone in between has to take steps in accordance with the two outsides.

So, when you look at the finished picture, you have an assortment of people attempting to stay in step as the line pulls away or lags behind from the two outsides. For this reason, the director usually places upperclassmen on the outside of the block in the hopes that this shifting and pulling won't occur.

The director, of course, insists that parades are one of the most important events that a band participates in, and he/she is occasionally correct. The big, televised ones, are obviously incredibly important to the band, but the local Christmas parades or homecoming parade fall much lower on the marching students' level of priorities.

The band would much rather stuff the band director in a tuba case and forget about the entire ordeal. But, of course, life isn't that kind.

So, your band is (finally) ready for the actual parade. What's next?

Parade Time:

The actual parades are sheer horror. The band loiters around for a good bit of time, warming up, et cetera. Then, the parade officially starts, and the students loiter around a bit more, waiting for it to be time for them to fall into the parade.

When it's actually time for your band's part in the parade to begin, you will soon learn what hell is all about.

Sure, band camp is bad, but at least you get breaks. Plus, does band camp involve horses (or their excrement)? No.

The drumline taps out their "Dut dut, dut dut, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu dut dut" and the band is off, playing their parade song(s).

Christmas Parades:

Okay, first things first. Christmas parades take place around Christmas, correct? Christmas is in December, and December is during winter (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway).

Why is it, then, that in the south it is SEVENTY degrees outside in December?!

For those in the north, with snow (the miraculous white substance that falls from the sky), Christmas parades are rather chilly (or even frigid). This is typically normal.

Anyway, no matter where you live, Christmas music is universal, and bands everywhere come to loathe it (or at least one or two particular songs) each year. It probably doesn't help that the radio starts playing Christmas music in November (I will not rant, I will not rant…).

Some of them are really pretty songs, and most of them are classics, but after a while you get kind of sick of them.

For your average marching band, that particular song that the director chooses for your Christmas parade is the one that will make anyone in the band groan when they hear it.

Christmas parades involve marching around town in your band uniforms, playing the aforementioned Christmas song of the director's choice, while people cheer you on.

For a while, it's fun.

After the second mile, it's not.

It's a never-ending cycle of drum cadence, horns up, play, horns down, drum cadence, horns up, play, horns down, etc.

"Important" Parades:

The important parades are what you would define as being "parades you get to go out of town for." Parades that would fall into this category are the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Tournament of Roses Parade, and quite a few others.

These are the parades that are four-seven miles long, and that you really practice for.

AKA, they are the parades that are on TV, and that the band directors (and hopefully you as well) don't want to screw up.

If you get to go to one of the parades above, you are a very fortunate person. These parades are very long and demanding, but they are also incredibly fun, and your audience is HUGE. However, they are absolute murder on your arms. Holding your instrument or flag for the duration of the parade is exhausting, for winds, drums, and guard; not to mention the rubbery feeling your legs get after you stop moving.

Parade Shenanigans:

-Marching behind a fire truck that had people throwing candy into the street during one of the local Christmas parades, and (along with the other trombones) stopping in the middle of the parade to pick up candy.

-Being the best received band in the Boscov's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Philly (although that might have been related to the fact that we played Rocky).

-Marching in the front of the parade block with the rest of the trombones while attempting to outplay tone-deaf section leader.

-One of the only tubas who actually played forgetting his mouthpiece for the Philly parade.

-One of the freshmen tubas forgetting his mouthpiece for one of the Christmas parades.

-Stepping on dead squirrels (that had been killed during the parade).

-One of the pit ditching the local Christmas parade to come and sit in her car and watch said Christmas parade (she tried to hide when we went by, but the percussion instructor spotted her.

While parades are torture, they are also quite fun, so long as you ignore the exhaustion, the dead feeling of your lips, and the sweat soaking through your uniform. Oh, and not to mention the overplaying of the music.

If you can overlook all of that, parades are great!

So, I finally got my lazy bum around to updating. For the next chapter...I've got an idea about what I want to do, but I'll let you guys give me suggestions. If I like them, I'll use one of yours, but if none of them are anything I want to do, I'll use my idea :p