"I… I…"
"You don't have to say anything. I don't care," he says casually.
"You don't?" I say, a little bit hurt.
"You like Yuji? It's going to be hard. Shouko's going to have you by the hair and Himeji's going to help her, so you'll have to be kind of careful."
"I don't like Yuji," I find it hard not to laugh when I say it.
"Then why did you…"
"There's this thing, Kouta, it's called alcohol. It makes you do things that you wouldn't usually do and it makes you lose your inhibitions. Have you ever heard of something called beer goggles?" I raise one eyebrow at him and he chuckles a little. It's a false laugh, full of hurt and lacking sincerity.
"Whatever," he mutters. "I don't care," he repeats, his voice becoming more high-pitched.
"Wow," I blink. "I'll get going."
"Don't come back," he says. "I got the message."
"What message?" I ask, aware that my voice is becoming more high-pitched now too. As I walk out of his room, he takes his camera and snaps a picture.
"You're just like Rika."
Subway trips seem to take about five times as long as usual when you ride them with a huge lump in your throat and itchy eyes for the whole thing. Passengers tend to look at you, too, when you let out a little sniffle every minute or two, but the truth was I was so heartbroken that I had been compared to that woman that I couldn't even speak or try to hold in my emotions anymore. It was the first time I had actually cared about a guy, I think, anyway - apart from Akihisa, but that really doesn't count, because I care about him like a little brother (which he practically is… apart from the fact that he's older than me).
I had no idea what was going on with me and why it had taken me barely any time at all to get so attached to these people and so wholly dejected that they were annoyed with me, but I knew that I had to get it sorted out. So I take the napkin that Minami had written on and I borrow a pen from a middle-aged man sitting next to me. I begin to make a list of all of the places that I need to go.
1. Akihisa's place
2. Hideyoshi's place
3. Himeji's place
4. Shouko's place
Kouta, check. Minami is fine, and I'm kind of avoiding Yuji so I leave his name off the list. I don't know what possessed me to do anything with him in the first place, but I was hoping that I wouldn't ever have to confront him. Akihisa could give me the other addresses plus straighten up the rest of the story for me, and then Hideyoshi could give me tips on how to butter up Himeji to help me with Shouko.
I feel sick to my stomach, but when I turn up outside Akihisa's house it seems to settle a bit. I like Akira, and she's nice enough to me. Not the same kind of nice that she is to Akihisa (I think only he and I fully understand that), but she's nice all the same. She always to use to update me every few months on how things were going at Harvard, and she's still super nice to me if I see her in the mornings too.
I knock on the door. A sleepy Akihisa answers wearing just a pair of boxer shorts and a white T-shirt, and ruffles his hands through his hair.
"Mm. Karin, what do you need?"
"Come in," shouts Akira from the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"
"I've lost my appetite."
We go into the front room and I sit down at the low table, across from Akira, with Akihisa on my right.
"So, what's up?" he says.
"What's up?! WHAT'S UP?! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING AKIHISA? I MADE OUT WITH YUJI WHEN I WAS DRUNK STUPID AND NOW EVERYONE HATES ME AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE YUJI!" I yell, exasperated. Akira blinks at me, stunned.
"Wait, what's wrong with Yuji?"
"I didn't mean that I don't like him as a person, I just meant that I don't like him Shouko-style. I need your help, Akihisa."
"What?"
"I need addresses of Hideyoshi, Himeji and Shouko."
"You're not actually planning to go to Shouko's house, are you? She'll rip your eyes out or tazer you to death."
"I thought that the tazer was saved for Yuji, but I guess not. I have a plan though – I'm going to get Himeji to go with me, once I sweet-talk her a little bit and convince her that it wasn't my fault."
"I didn't know that you were so scheming, Karin. It's definitely a different side of you," Akira says, stunned again.
"You kidding? She's always been a bi- WHY ARE YOU TURNING INTO MINAMI? MY PELVIS CAN'T HANDLE THIS!"
"Hahahaha… that's what she said."
"You're disgusting too," he laughs.
"I'm glad you two are still friends after all this time, even if my brother embarrasses you in school, Karin," Akira grins happily.
"Embarrass me?! She's the one who made out with my best friend!"
"The red-haired one? He's cute."
"That's not the point! It's my best friend!"
"Are you jealous, Akihisa? You do remember that illicit sexual relationships with males are completely and utterly allowed, right?"
"I remember! I'm not taking advantage of that rule, Akira! I like girls and that's not going to change!"
"Girls… like older sisters?" Akira winks.
"NO! I'M CHANGING THE SUBJECT! Karin, I'll go and get you those addresses! Akira, sit here and shut up."
"Fine. So, you made out with that guy? I thought he had a girlfriend. Pretty one, long dark hair."
"That's Shouko – she's scarily violent and if I make contact with her solo until things are sorted out she will toe-tag me, no doubt about it."
"Sounds like a lovely girl."
"She has every right. She's been in love with him since grade school and I just do that when I'm drunk and think it's all going to be okay. I've made a huge mistake and now they're just getting retribution. It's not their faults – there's only one problem."
"What?"
"Well, on Tuesday, I went on a date with this amazing guy and I don't know what's happened but now after he found out this he seems bummed, in fact he compared me to this absolute hoe-bag and I don't even know what to do because I'm nothing like her. Not that he knows this, of course, he's just pissed. I don't know what's happened, I think I actually did like him – but now he's just annoyed with me and I've gone and ruined it all and I don't know what to do and yeah," I ramble in one breath.
"Has anyone ever told you that you babble sometimes when you're upset?"
"It's come up in conversation. But yeah, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"
"Of course he will, when he gets over it after a while. He's probably just jealous."
"I woke up in his T-shirt. I don't know how that works, but I'd quite like to find out."
"What kind of T-shirt was it?"
"Um, what?"
"A person's T-shirt can say a lot about them. So what kind of T-shirt was it?"
"It was… um, heather grey, very clean, smelled of aftershave…?"
"He sounds like a nice guy. Approval given," Akira grins again, giving me a massive thumbs-up.
"Oh God."
"I've got those addresses for you. Good luck. What are you going to say?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry and I didn't mean to do it," I try out the words. They taste funny – I guess apologizing is not something that I do on a regular basis.
"Well, that'll work," Akira says sarcastically. "You have to get the pink-haired guy on your side before you can do anything."
"Guy?"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Akihisa warns me quietly. "I'm already living with her, I don't need her to make my life hell more than she already does."
"Right, I'm going."
"Goodbye," nods Akira.
"Good luck. You'll need it," Akihisa laughs. "You have a plan, right?"
"Yeah, Hideyoshi first."
By the time I'm on the subway to Southern Fumizuki, I'm trying to recall exactly what happened. My brain is still fuzzy, but I'm hoping that Hideyoshi can clear it up for me and help me work things out with Himeji. I don't spend too much time with him, but he's always been willing to help me out because I'm pretty much the only person in our group that remembers and knows that he is clearly a guy. No-one that flat could be a girl – even Minami has more boobs. It's impossible.
Hideyoshi, his sister and their parents live in an apartment on the 19th floor – almost as high up as mine. The difference is that when I live in a complex just nicer than the average, with some amenities, the twins and their family live in the financial centre of town, in a sleek and beautiful place. I walk through the marble lobby and take the lift up to their floor and then knock on their door.
Yuuko answers the door.
"Who are you?" she sniffs, rolling up her 'Boy's Love' magazine and putting it on the side so that I can pretend I didn't see it.
"Karin Sato. I'm a visitor for Hideyoshi Kinoshita."
"Well, duh, how many Hideyoshi's do you know?" she rolls her eyes. "Hideyoshi!"
"What?" I can hear Hideyoshi's deeper voice from the next room.
"Some Sato girl here to see you. Seems like she knows you."
"Tell her to come in, and Yuuko, for God's sake, put the yaoi magazines away for one second, will you?" he sighs.
"My reading material is my choice, I will have you know! Hideyoshi said come in," she adds in a monotone.
"Thank you. You have a lovely home," I bow.
"Are you being serious? This place is a dump. We used to live in a three-story house," she snorts. "Are you in Class F?"
"Yep," I smile. "I fell asleep in my placement test."
"So you're one of those super-smart secret weapons like Mizuki Himeji?"
"No," I scratch my head, "I'm actually, uh, still not that smart. I think I'd be in Class D or E or something. But yeah."
"Oh, so you're still an idiot," she tosses her head back and laughs freely before walking off with her magazine, presumably to her bedroom. Thank you, Yuuko.
"Hello, Karin," Hideyoshi smiles.
"Are you pissed off with me? Are you? Because that's fine if you are and stuff, I just need your help because I'm in a really sticky situation…"
"Hold up, hold up, stop babbling, Jesus. I'm probably one of the only ones who isn't pissed off with you – I have no reason to be."
"Can you clear up the story?"
"What is there to clear up?" he chuckles.
"Well, I woke up in Kouta's T-shirt to start with, and I have no idea why. I don't really now why Himeji is annoyed with me, but…"
"Well, here's what went down. You got piss drunk, and so did Yuji, and Akihisa did too," he begins his story. Ah, that explains why he's just so confused about everything. How does he still know more than me? "And then you were thanking everyone for coming and you gave them hugs and then you hugged him and you both just kind of," he's using awkward hand gestures now, "went for it."
"Great. That doesn't explain the Kouta part though."
"Oh that was a nice part. You started getting really sick - it could have been to do with all of the sake, but I'm not judging – and then you threw up a lot, down the toilet. Kouta held your hair back," he chuckles, "because it was falling out of your bun."
"Oh, that's sweet."
"Then you turned around and vomited violently on his shoes," he looks disgusted. "But it's okay, because he rinsed them off in the sink (they were leather boot things to go with the ninja suit) and dried them. They are still kind of gross though."
"Great. Brilliant."
"Then he made you drink a glass of water and got you changed."
"He… got me changed?"
"Well, that's a lie. Minami did, and Kouta just gave you the T-shirt that he was going to sleep in and left. He was annoyed for some reason. Can't imagine why," he ends cheerfully.
"Oh God. Well that's brilliant. He is annoyed with me, I went round to his to look at the pictures this morning. This is just fantastic. Oh and by the way, do you know how I can sweeten up Himeji so that she will help me with Shouko?"
"There are three things that Mizuki Himeji likes."
"Yes?"
"Thinking people like her cooking, being a straight A student and… Yoshii Akihisa."
"Hideyoshi, I think I love you."
"That's great, Karin, but…"
"I could kiss you right now."
"Don't you think you've done enough kissing?"
"Alright, my love for you has gone. I'll get out of your hair now. Thank you so much!"
"And don't wait too long either! She'll stew and get even more mad."
"Don't worry, I won't. Have a nice day, Hideyoshi!"
"You too, good luck!"
My plan is ready to be put into action. Sato, let's go.
"Himeji, it's me, Karin. Please let me in," I say, knocking on the door. "I have something for you."
"Um, okay," I can hear her unlock the door and open it on to her place. It's traditionally Japanese and rather modest, and I take off my shoes and walk into the main room.
"I know you're upset with me, but will you hear me out a minute? I need a chance to explain my actions, and I'd really like you to help me."
"Do you really deserve help?"
"No, but I know you always stick up for your friends – and I think we're friends, Himeji, aren't we? So it would be really great if you could…"
"I said to Shouko that I wouldn't talk to you."
"Well, yes, Himeji, but I'm sure that she wouldn't mind, considering that I have something for you."
"What is it?"
"It's a set of textbooks that recently came out at the mall," I take them from the bag and place them on the table. I remember asking for a plain bag on purpose so that it wouldn't look like I had bought them. These babies bankrupted me. 800 yen each, and I got three. "I found them at my place."
"You've given me a gift?"
"Oh no, Himeji, I don't like to buy respect. I called up Akihisa this morning and it seems that he was going to give them to you but he forgot after he got drunk and fell asleep. So, naturally, I took them over to you as a kind gesture. I'll tell him you were happy to accept them, no?" I smile at her as fake and bright as I possibly can, because even though the smile isn't sincere, my need for her to forgive me is. Himeji is so bright and lovely, it would be horrible to not have her in my life.
"Oh, he is so cute!" she gushes. "Oh, I'll just have to thank him."
"That won't be necessary. He already said it was fine, and that you should enjoy them and do your best. He said that even if you weren't in Class A, you deserved the best, and that's why you should have the best textbooks to help you with your studying."
"That's so sweet."
"Ah, I know."
"Whilst you're here, would you like to sample some of the cookies that I just baked?" she offers me with newfound kindness in her voice. Two out of three down. Only one to go. I'm a goner.
"That would be lovely, Himeji! What flavour are they?"
"Chocolate and raisin," she says happily, and goes off into the kitchen to get some.
I grit my teeth and try to bear it when she comes in with a tray of delicious-looking and smelling cookies on a pretty tray, with a couple of napkins and a glass of lemonade.
"Wow, Himeji, you really went all out."
"You must be hungry. It looks like you've been busy going to the mall and buying textbooks et cetera, et cetera," she sets it down on the table.
"What?! How did you know?! I mean… no I didn't, I found them on the kitchen worktop."
"I don't get grades like I do for nothing, Karin. I think that I would have been able to work your little ploy out – you didn't really think it through, but I guess that you can't remember that Akihisa and Minami were very flirty last night," she sighs. Minami didn't tell me that! "But still, if you were willing you go to all that effort and pay all that money just to make me forgive you, and lie so fluently, I guess that means that I just have to forgive you. I was always taught that it was the right thing to do anyway. What was the favour that you wanted me to do?"
"Help me. Help me, Himeji."
"Shouko?"
"You got it. I wanna go by old age, man. I don't wanna be electrocuted or hung by my toes or burned at the stake," I wince.
"Well, I owe you 2400 yen anyway, so I guess this is the least I can do."
"Please, it's on me."
"As is this favour, and of course, these cookies."
I look up at her and she's smiling so kindly down at me I just can't help but love her. Himeji is so adorable it's unreal. But of course, you can't forget one thing.
That's when I passed out. River Styx, here I come. Method of death: chocolate and raisin cookies.